The Loop
by smartkid37
Summary: Tim McGee is fearing for his safety; maybe even his life! Is the danger real? Can the team keep him and his dog safe? Post "About Face"
1. What Do I Believe?

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**A/N: I do not own NCIS and only borrow their charactors for fun.**

Setting: This story is set in Season 5, between

_**About Face**_** and _Judgement Day_**

* * *

What a hell of a week it had been! Thankfully, it was Thursday, already and that left just one day to get thru before the weekend was free time. Maybe tomorrow would be a day with no new case; that would certainly be a first for this week. The entire team was exhausted, overworked and stretched like tight rubber bands ready to snap. Maybe they'd be really lucky and be left alone to enjoy their weekend, too; since they weren't "on call" for this one.

Tony and Ziva had already flown the coop, some 30 minutes ago; both of them anxious to enjoy every second of breathing room being off duty granted them. Abby, Ducky and even Palmer had just left for their own precious time away from work; and much needed sleep. Gibbs was up with the Director; which left Tim alone in the squad room; and expelling a big sigh of relief. He felt too tired to go anywhere at the moment. For some reason; a reason he couldn't put his finger on; he had a bad feeling in the pit of his stomach. Since this was a rare occasion for him; when it did happen; Tim paid attention to it; and surprisingly enough; Gibbs did, too. Both Tim and Gibbs took Tim's gut feelings as seriously as the entire team looked towards Gibbs' own gut feelings. The only difference now was; they had no open case; and all of Tim's previous experiences with this bad gut feeling had been about an open case they were in the middle of. _What the hell was going on? What should he do?_

Restless and anxious; Tim walked over to the window at the bottom of the stairs to MTAC; and waited for Gibbs; he'd feel better once he did like he usually did when this happened; let Gibbs in on it. Leaning against the window for support; Tim focused on the calm; soothing waters of the Harbor; needing to calm down and keep control of his nerves; it wouldn't do for him to have a panic attack; especially, since; at the moment; he was alone. All he could manage to do is calm his breathing; he could not manage to calm his racing thoughts; already knee deep in fear and "what-if's". The only thing he could do; is hang in there until Gibbs came back down stairs. Silently, he waited and prayed; prayed that his gut was just playin tricks on him.

Judging by the look in Tim McGee's eyes; that young man wasn't going anywhere anytime soon; something was eatin at him and he needed to talk. Gibbs planned on talking with him when he got back down stairs. Whatever it was had his agent nervous and actually looking a little freaked out. Gibbs had gone to Jenny on a mission to get the Director to cut his team a break. Literally. As of this moment, Team Gibbs was "on-call" for tomorrow, and off for the weekend. Thankfully, Jenyy had been fairly open to the idea; since a fully rested agent is a top-notch agent. Gibbs felt wiped out and well beyond ready to go home and get some shut-eye. Jen had even done him one better; and made sure Cynthia did the notifying of his team; for Gibbs. The only person he needed to notify was still here; or had been when he headed up here not 20 minutes ago.

Sure enough; as Gibbs came down the last set of stairs; his eyes landed on Tim; leaning against the window at the bottom of the stairs; the young man's body was rigid and looking pretty damn near spring-loaded; ready to snap. Without waiting until he'd scared him to death; Gibbs deliberately and loudly snapped his fingers; bringing Tim's attention back from where ever it was at the moment. As Tim turned around at Gibbs' snapping fingers and looked at him; Gibbs couldn't help but see the fear that filled the young man's eyes.

"What is it? Talk to me." Gibbs quietly directed as he came off the last step and walked up to him.

"I got a really bad feeling, Boss! And it doesn't make any sense. I mean, this usually only happens when we have an open case, right? But, this really doesn't feel right. It's like my gut's telling me not to leave here tonight!" Tim's voice was rising in volume and intensity as the fear began to suck him in.

"McGee! Look, I realize you're basing what you're telling me on your own experience in following your gut; but if you let yourself get all worked up about it like this; then you take away your ability to think straight about it; about anything." Gibbs patiently reminded his agent.

"So, stop; take some deep breaths; recall a good memory. Hold on to that memory for at least 2 minutes before you let go of it. When you've calmed down; I want you to look back at me, all right?" Gibbs knew he had to get this under control."

He hoped this would work on Tim the way it did for the rest of his team. Tim's stubborn streak often got in the young man's own way; but, apparently; tonight's case was gonna be one of cooperation. Gibbs smiled at Tim as the young man finally and calmly returned his focus to his boss; having calmed himself down; by following Gibbs' orders.

"Thank you, Boss!" The strength of Tim McGee's genuine appreciation gave testimony to the depth of his fear; the feeling of his had set up in his mind.

"McGee; what is your gut is telling you to do?" Gibbs asked in all seriousness. He was always willing to encourage this young man to believe in himself; God knew; the kid believed precious little in himself as it was. Hell, Gibbs believed in him more than Tim believed in himself.

"I don't think I should leave here tonight; at least not alone; anyway." McGee admitted.

"Leave, here, as in the building; or here; as in the navy yard; or what, McGee?"

"I dunno, Boss; I can't put my finger on it." Tim's fear was climbing it's way back to the surface; visible, even to Gibbs.

"McGee! Listen to me, you hearin me? Don't do this! Just tell me what you want to do; what you would feel comfortable; safe doing right now and let's just go from there, all right?" Gibbs firmly directed.

"Boss, as long as I get home safe; I'll be fine. Tim vowed; his voice still quivering with fear.

"McGee, there is no shame in not feeling safe. If you need the security of not going anywhere alone until you feel safe; all you have to do is say so!" Gibbs quietly admonished him.

"Thanks, Boss; I would feel safer not being alone tonight; I just can't shake that feeling."

"Okay, then; grab your gear and let's head out; you're crashing at my place tonight." Gibbs directed.

All the way down to the parking garage; Tim's gut was clenched in fear; being that he wasn't alone; Tim didn't understand this; which, in turn; frightened him even more. Once out of the safety of the elevator; while walking thru the parking garage; Tim's gut twisted and churned with so much sudden overwhelming fear; it doubled him over in genuine pain; the fear almost radiating off him; so strong it was almost palpable_. _

_Someone's out there, watching us; watching me! _

"_**BOSS!**__"_Tim's pain filled cry ripped from his lungs

"_**MCGEE!"**_Gibbs' fear filled cry almost drowned out Tim's voice. Seeing him double over in pain had scared Gibbs; coupled with the magnifying fear evident in Tim's eyes. Gibbs quickly moved to support Tim before the man fell over.

"_Relax; let's just get in the car, all right?"_ Gibbs attempted to calm Tim down.

"_Boss, some one's out there! Can't you tell? Don't you feel them watchin us?"_ Tim's horrified whispers sent shivers up Gibbs' spine.

Quickly Gibbs hurried him into the car; locking him in; before running to the driver's side; and quickly unlocking it and throwing himself down into the driver's seat and locking the door after himself. Quickly he started the car and threw her into gear; peeling rubber as they left the garage behind as quickly as humanly possible. Gibbs didn't like the way his own gut was churning, now. He'd felt it, too. They hadn't been alone in there; that much was for certain. Now he was nervous. It wasn't like him to run from trouble; but he had Tim to think about and right now; the young man was in no condition to confront any foe.

As quickly as possible, Gibbs pulled up at the main gate on the Navy Yard and filled the MP's and Night Watch in on what was going on and made them promise to secure the area in question and be on the sharpest lookout possible. Leaving the Navy Yard; Gibbs; for all intents and purposes; drove like he had no idea in hell where he was going. Hell, he even pulled into the local police precinct! That would rattle any prospective dirt bag! Parking near the front entrance to the precinct; Gibbs took the time to look McGee over. His agent was much calmer now; but still frightened enough that he still struggled to breath normally.

Gibbs too out his badge and id # and calmly but firmly directed Tim to do the same.

"It's okay, Tim; Look we're safe. We're in police custody, for cryin out loud! If this doesn't make you feel safe; I don't know what else to do for you" Gibbs half-joked; hoping the attempt at humor would lessen the boy's fear; or at least penetrate it; enough to begin to calm him down.

"Boss, you telling me you didn't feel somebody watchin us, back there? You think I'm imagining this; doin this just for kicks?" Tim had indeed reached thru his fear; enough to pull out his anger and hurl it at the one person trying desperately to help him thru this.

"Hey! Damn it, McGee! It was a joke! I'm not gonna dignify any of it with any further discussion on it!" Gibbs was doing his level best to hold onto his own anger; knowing it would not help the situation.

A long, uncomfortable silence filled the air.

Gibbs blew out a sigh. "Look, Tim; there's no doubt in my mind that you are genuinely scared. And yes, I did sense someone out there; back in the garage. I made sure to get the MP's and Base Security on it, didn't I?"

A knock on Gibbs' car window startled them both into silence. Gibbs calmed down when he saw that it was a cop standing there. Rolling down his window; Gibbs presented his badge and explained their need for assistance. The police were startled at the request; but happy nonetheless to give two NCIS Special Agents a quiet escort home.

Once safely ensconced in Gibbs' guest bedroom; Tim took some time to decompress and genuinely relax; letting his fear and stretched nerves unwind. Gibbs had promised that all doors and windows were locked up tight. This was unusual for Gibbs; but he didn't bat an eye; as he had silently gone about the house taking care of it; before Tim had even asked him to. Finally, relaxed enough to come out of the bedroom; Tim opted for a relaxing shower. After his shower; deciding he was more than ready to get some sleep; Tim hunted thru the house for Gibbs first; wanting to really thank the man for all he'd done to make Tim feel safe tonight. Tim knew that some of what Gibbs had done had in all probability; left his boss feeling like an idiot; but he'd done it anyway; knowing it made Tim feel safer. For that; Tim would be eternally grateful. The niggling feeling was still there; his stomach still knotted up with it; but at least for now; Tim was safe. Tomorrow would have to take care of itself.

Gibbs heard Tim's footsteps on his stairs as the young man made his way down to the kitchen. The older man was sitting at the table; enjoying his fresh cup of coffee; as much as his raddled brain currently stuck in overdrive would let him. He offered McGee a small smile of encouragement as the younger man sat down opposite him at the kitchen table.

"Feel better?"

"Yeah, lots; thanks to you. Thank you and before you say anything; I mean it. Really. Thank you. You could have just laughed at everything I told you tonight; told me to shrug it off and sent me home; but you didn't. Thank you."

"Why would I have done that?" Gibbs demanded to know.

"Sorry, I forgot that's Tony's M.O.; not yours. But seriously; Boss; I mean it. Thank you.!"

"Tim, thank **you. **If you hadn't been willing to tell me what was bugging you; risk what you feared I was gonna do or not do about it; who knows; maybe your gut would have been right and something bad was waiting to happen. I…"

"Still is." Tim whispered; interrupting Gibbs.

"You're serious? Your gut's still clenching up on you about this?" Gibbs asked; concern etched in his features.

"Yeah, Boss." Tim quietly admitted. The fear lurking in his eyes gave testament to what he was saying.

"All right, then; this is what we need to do. Gets some sleep now; in the morning we'll go get Jethro and whatever clothes you want here for a week; and you'll stay here until we figure this out; and until you feel safe again." Gibbs directed.

"I know I keep saying this; but I can't seem to say it enough, tonight. Thank you." Tim quietly expressed his gratitude. "I'm beat. I need to try to sleep, Boss." Tim silently went upstairs to the guest room and without shutting the door; somehow his nerves couldn't handle being shut away right now; he laid out on the bed and tried to settle his mind down and let sleep claim him.

It suddenly dawned on Gibbs that the very fact that Tim hadn't argued with him about anything; none of Gibbs directions; none of the plans Gibbs had given out like orders; nothing; spoke volumes of where his mind was currently at; obviously damn near suffocating in fear. Tim's gut feeling had never brought this much intensity of fear to him before. Usually, it was a simple case of; "we got the wrong guy." Or "we shouldn't go in this place; it doesn't feel right." But this? This was deep; it was drastic; it was dead serious; and the kicker was; it wasn't even specific!

Gibbs shook his head to try to clear his jumbled thoughts. Going upstairs; Gibbs noted the open door to the guest bedroom; another glaring reminder of how much fear his agent was still feeling; as he poked his head in the room to check on him. Tim wasn't sleeping; but then again; it was obvious, he was still too spooked to even relax; much less sleep. His body was all tense and his face was pinched with the emotions he couldn't calm.

"Hey." Gibbs said quietly, from the doorway. "Can't sleep?"

"I'm afraid to close my eyes, Boss." Tim admitted; his eyes deliberately not going in Gibbs' direction.

Gibbs decided that enough was enough. It was time to call in the big guns! He whipped out his cell phone and hit the speaker button and the speed dial # he needed. While he waited for the call to be picked up; he covered Tim with the blanket and turned out the overhead light; leaving the soft glow of the large nightlight across the room to illuminate the room.

"Jethro! You calling me this late can only mean something is wrong with either you or one of your team members. Please tell me no one is seriously hurt, Jethro."

"Sorry, to disturb you so late, Ducky; But I need a favor."

"It must be important for you to be calling me so late to ask for it; so, if I can oblige you; you have only to ask it."

"Need a bedtime story, Duck. I'll explain the who and why later;"

"Certainly, Jethro; Did I ever tell you about the time….."

Gibbs silently put the phone down where Tim could plainly hear Ducky's tale; but couldn't reach the phone. Taking a second to smile at his agent; he went to double check all doors and windows and turn everything off for the night.

A scant 10 minutes later found Tim McGee safely and peacefully slumbering amidst Ducky's harrowing tale of Adventure in Paris; still going strong.

"Thanks Duck." Gibbs interrupted; as he took the phone back out into the hallway and headed toward his own bedroom. "I appreciate your help.."

"Jethro, might I ask what that was all about? What on earth could possibly have happened to drive you to request my services in that startling capacity?"

Yeah, Duck; but it's late; wouldn't you rather hear about it tomorrow?" Gibbs asked with a laugh.

"Jethro, I would much rather hear of it now; than have to wait until tomorrow, if you wouldn't mind."

"Well, yeah, okay. Well…"

As Gibbs filled Ducky in on the events of the evening he and McGee had just had; Tim McGee's dreams were taking shape; dark and extremely painful; coming up from the depths of no where land; where horrid creatures and even worse deeds came together to mess with people's heads while they slept.

_Dark shadows wielding painful weapons came at him from every side of the octagon shaped room he found himself chained up in the middle of. The only light illuminating the room came from a flickering candle in each corner of the room. The chain around his wrists extended from a gymnastic ring welded to the ceiling over his head. His bare feet barely touched the ground. He felt cold; extremely cold; as he had been stripped of all his clothing. Tim's stomach knotted painfully at the sight of those weapons coming at him; knives; batons; whips; tazers; each masked and robed shadow carried a weapon in each hand. Tim prayed for a quick death. What he got instead was a blindfold coming at him outta nowhere; from an additional shadowed figure he hadn't seen before. Tim could only whimper in light of the pending pain he knew was about to be inflicted on him. What's more; he had no idea where he was; or how the hell he'd gotten there; and he knew it was obvious; there was no way out!_

_His tormentors attacked; one after another; all deliberate; maniacal; repetitive and relentless. The blows and the burns and the electrical shocks ravaged his body in his sleep; he screamed thru the pain as his body writhed in surreal excruciating agony._

Gibbs froze in both his footsteps and his conversation with Ducky.

"Good Heavens, Jethro!" Ducky fearfully exclaimed; most upset as he could clearly hear the young man's painful screams even over the telephone.

"Gotta go, Duck!" Gibbs snapped the phone shut and flew to the guest bedroom; snapping on the overhead light as he came into the room. Sitting down on the bed; careful not to startle or touch Tim; Gibbs did the only tried and tested; proven thing to get the young man's attention; especially when he was panic stricken. **"McGEE!! "McGEE, YOU GET BACK HERE! YOU"RE LATE! GET BACK HERE!"**

Tim could hear Gibbs barking at him; thru the agony and the pain; Gibbs' voice called him up out of the void; he'd fallen into; as he obeyed that voice out of long standing habit. The darkness began to fade and the shadows and their weapons faded with the darkness; leaving nothing behind but the memory of the intense pain they had caused; and the stark raving terror that they would be back!

Tim opened his eyes; blinking against the bright overhead light. Gibbs quickly changed the lighting to only the lamp. After a few very silent moments, Tim's eyes adjusted to the new light level and as he lay there still trembling from the horrible nightmare; he struggled to regain the calm he'd felt before he'd dropped off to sleep. Gibbs silently watched with grave concern. This was so far beyond what was normal for this boy that Gibbs knew he was genuinely in over his head

Tim worked up the courage to speak exactly what was on his mind; as he found the strength to look Gibbs in the eye; "What's happening to me? Am I going insane?", his quivering voice edging up toward hysteria. Gibbs quickly attempted to head that conversation off at the pass.

"NO! You are NOT going crazy, okay? Come on, let's go get something to eat and let your nerves calm down. You think you can tell me about this nightmare you were stuck in?" Gibbs tone had settled down; not wanting to keep the young man upset.

Tim shuddered and nodded as he got up and followed Gibbs downstairs to the kitchen. As Gibbs went about, getting out milk and cookies; Tim huddled in on himself at the kitchen table. Taking pity on the young man; Gibbs directed him to stretch out on the couch in the living room. As Tim was settling down; a knock came at the door, instantly; Tim's eyes filled with panic and his heart started racing.

"Relax!" Gibbs quietly commanded; not missing any of his agent's instant rise of panic. He waited until Tim visibly relaxed, back down under the blanket; before he went to the door. Opening the door; Gibbs was not surprised to find Ducky; medical bag and all; anxious to get to Tim.

"Hey, Duck; he's in on the couch. Listen, he thinks he's literally going crazy; you wanna help out with that one?" Gibbs quietly volunteered; internally grateful as hell that Ducky had had the presence of mind to not let that phone call be the end all for him

"Timothy, my boy; I heard you were having a very bad night of it! Can you sit up and let me check you over; your heart rate and so forth; to make sure everything is right as rain. All right then, let's have a finger for a stick test, shall we? We want to rule out any thing that may be as our dear Abby calls it, "Hinky."

"Now, why don't you tell me all about this wicked nightmare your subconscious has drudged up from somewhere. Maybe we can sort it out together, hmm?"

Gibbs silently took a back seat, in the arm chair in the corner of the room, as Ducky led Tim thru the minefield of his horrible nightmare; down every painful detail he could remember and back out to the light of day; the nightmare having been walked thru and lived thru Fifteen long and horror filled story-telling minutes later; Tim was wiped out. He went back to bed; he hoped that this time; it would be a pleasant or at least peaceful. A short, 10 minutes later; and Tim McGee was sleeping once more. They could only hope that this time, it would be peaceful for him.


	2. Did You See Him?

A/N: Takes place in Season 5 between About Face and Judgement Day

DISCLOSURE: I Do not own NCIS or it's characters.

* * *

Now that McGee was sleeping; with Ducky keeping an ear out for the young man; Gibbs hit the shower; thankful to have both McGee's samples on their way back th NCIS lab; and an escort home for Ducky; on their way from NCIS. He wasn't about to blow off McGee's gut instinct on this; especially since his own gut was telling him the same thing.

Later, with Ducky safely being seen home Gibbs headed off to bed; stopping to check on McGee one last time. McGee was still sleeping; apparently more peacefully this time; although the guy was tossing and turning; not sleeping calmly at all; so peaceful was probably not the sleep he was getting at the moment.. As Gibbs moved to sit down on the bed, Tim whimpered and his tossing and turning became twitching and writhing; as if he were once again; experiencing the painful attack; he had described so vividly for them earlier.

This time. Gibbs attempted to just place a calming hand on his shoulder and squeeze to show he wasn't alone in that place he had once again been thrust into by his wayward mind. Gibbs' hand on his shoulder seemed to calm him; although it didn't pull him back enough to end his apparent torment; so once again, Gibbs called him back; although this time; he did it much more calmly and reassuringly.

"Tim; come on back now. Come back. Back away from there. McGee! Come on back."

Surprisingly enough, it seemed to work. Tim calmed down; his body stopped it's agitated movements; and even his breathing returned to normal. It wasn't long before his eyes opened; letting him see; once again, he was actually, safe and sound and under the protected and watchful eye of his boss.

This time, Tim couldn't bring himself to look at his boss; his embarrassment too real; even though he knew none of this was his fault; and so he would not apologise; but the fact that Gibbs was losing sleep on his behalf; did nothing to make him feel better. Luckily; there was at least one thing he could do.

"Thank you." Forcing himself to follow the rules of respect and decency; meant Tim had to look Gibbs in the eye to properly give that Thanks; no matter how embarrassed he felt.

"You're welcome. Come on, you can crash on my bed; it's more than big enough for both of us; and I'll be able to catch some sleep while keeping an eye on you; making sure you sleep thru the night. How long have you been having these?

"Tonight's the first time."

And your churning gut?

"This is the first time since the last case it came up in."

"Can you think of anything you've eaten or had to drink that was different; or was given to you by someone you don't normally get it from? Anything different in your routine lately? New dry cleaner; anything like that?"

"'ll have to go over it all in my head; but nothing different springs to mind off hand, Boss."

"Okay, let's try to get some sleep."

Once settled in the bed; Tim tried his damnedst to fall back asleep; but his restless and fearful mind wouldn't allow it. Gibbs; fully aware of his agent's plight; took pity on him and quietly began to regale the man with stories from Gibbs' life in the miitary; being able ; only 15 short minutes later; declare it a victory; as Tim's mind had obviously relaxed enough to allow sleep in. Gibbs looked at the clock; and grimaced; 2. AM! Exhausted, he closed his eyes; hoping to catch a couple hours of sleep; crossing his fingers that his agent would find some peace in his slumber now, too.

During what was left of the night; when Tim would whimper or begin to toss and turn; Gibbs put a calming hand on the young man's arm or shoulder; and immediately, he calmed. So, fitful as it was; they both got some sleep for most of what was left of the night.

Wake-up time came soon enough; at least for Gibbs. Though he was used to getting only 4 hours of sleep at a stretch; so; he wasn't too tired; just weary and unsettled. As he got up; had his coffee; and got ready for work; his thoughts kept running thru the events of the evening just past. It called to mind all of the cases they'd had and left him wondering how any of them might fall into this. He doubted very seriously, that it was anything to do with Tim's book. But, then again, he knew it would be foolish of him to not include that as a possibility.

As he heard Tim stirring; getting up; and getting ready; Gibbs decided to just silently keep this on the edge of his mind; and run though the possibilities out on paper when they got to work. Having made this decision; Gibbs felt somewhat better; and returned his attention to the matter at hand; breakfast for him and his agent.

Upon arrival at NCIS; Tim got to work on the possibilities of who or what this could be about. Gibbs, having seen how exhausted and frustrated the young man was at breakfast; had assigned him the busy work task that would both; keep him occupied; and get them the answer to the question; who could be after Tim?

Thankfully, the rest of the day went by uneventfully and while the team was put on alert for the weekend; it was for one of their own; and they accepted gracefully, that this meant they were "on-call" until this was over or had been solved.

By the end of the day, Tim had regained a feeling of normalcy to his sense of comfort within the bounds of being at work; among people he could count on to protect him. He did not feel anxious or threatened here. Here, he could relax and breathe normal.

Gibbs knew that Tim's sense of feeling safe was precarious at best; at the moment; so, he did not ask the man to go out into the field for anything. He also did not ask anyone else to take him to his apartment to collect his things and his dog. Gibbs knew, the young man felt safest with Gibbs; and given the oftentimes tense relationship Tim had with Tony; knew that McGee would probably only feel safe if he'd sent Ziva along with them; as well if he did decide to send them.

At the moment; however; everything seemed to be settling down into what had simply been a case of Tim overreacting; at least, to hear Tony tell it, anyway.

Gibbs didn't believe it so, he decided to go with his own gut instinct on this

Since he wanted it done before dark; and he wanted the entire team on alert; Gibbs decided they would all go. He assigned both Ziva and Tony go ride on ahead; each in their own vehicles; making sure they to clear the scene when they got there; before they did anything else. Gibbs followed with McGee and on the way; they discussed the fact that the drug and tox screens on the samples Ducky had taken from him had come back negative. So they were back to not knowing what was going on.

The cases they'd had since Tim had come to NCIS; had been many. However, the cases where Tim actively was responsible for solving the crime or bringing down the dirtbag; was lower in number; and that is where they needed to concentrate their efforts; should the need arise to look in that direction.

But for now; for this weekend; they would simply lay low; play things close to the vest and be careful.

Upon arrival at Tim's apartment, Tony and Ziva had cleared the scene; as best they could without being attacked by the 70 pound german shepherd. Once Jethro had figured out that they were good people; he'd backed down; and they had finished clearing the scene. Nothing looked out of place. There was no sign of anyone having been there since Tim had left the last time he'd been there.

When Gibbs and McGee arrived a short 10 minutes later; while Gibbs helped Tim pack what he needed and load up his car; in the company of the protective dog; Tony and Ziva turned their attention to talking to McGee's neighbors; asking them if they'd seen or heard anyone suspiscious . What they had been told; they would relate back to Gibbs; privately.

Once all assigned tasks had been completed; Ziva headed home; with Tony as an escort; and while waiting for Tony's return; Gibbs and Tim amused themselves with Jethro's antics as they let him have his exercise before sticking him in the car.

That time waiting for Tony's return was quiet; except an occassional laugh at the hilarious dog; but for the most part; Gibbs' mind was stuck on what Ziva had told him; while Tony had gone back up to the apartment with Tim for one last check over things.

Apparently, Tim's neighbors had noticed a shadowed figure standing in the trees watching Tim's apartment windows last night. One or two of them even thought they recalled seeing him there the night before that, too. None of them had noticed Jethro getting unusually upset lately; though he did seem to spend a lot of time whining last night; but they had attributed that to him missing McGee. All of his neighbors were reminded once again; as they had all confessed to have been reminded by Tim already; to report this kind of stuff; They had been kindly informed that it was something Tim's co-workers and his boss took extremely seriously; and that they should also.

When Tony returned, Gibbs asked him on the side; if Tony was ready to take this seriously now; and Tony; having the grace to look abashed; said that he was.

They all got loaded up and headed back to Gibbs house. Tony had been instructed to call Ducky and Abby and put them on elevated alert. Tony took it upon himself to go one step further and notify the Silver Spring PD and request that they check it out, as well. Tony added that if they did find something, they were to call Gibbs immediately.

After Tim and Jethro were safely tucked up inside Gibbs' house and Gibbs and Tony had finished talking to Director Shepard; having made this call while Tim was out back, spending time with his dog; Tony went home and Gibbs locked up his house and went out back to sit and quietly watch the antics of his agent and the dog Abby had impulsively named after her boss.

Gibbs had to admit that it was nice seeing Tim actually relax and smile for the 1st time since the panic and fear had came upon him the night before. But if the guy had been seen outside Tim's apartment the night before last; why hadn't Tim's or even Jethro's hackles been raised then? There would be time enough to get into that discussion tomorrow. Tonight, this kid was gonna get to relax, that was for damn sure.

After a quiet, relaxing; evening meal; and time spent in quiet conversation; with Gibbs getting to know more about his youngest agent; and Tim learning to become even more relaxed around his boss; they called it a night; and Tim was able to drop off to sleep with his faithful dog by his side. Gibbs had given permission for the dog to be on the bed; figuring he would help Tim get a good night sleep; to have that embodiment of protection in the bed with him and maybe; just maybe; it would keep his nightmare at bay.

Apparently, having Jethro made a huge difference; as Tim had slept the whole night thru, without any nightmares to endure. After a stress-free breakfast; Tim wandered out back to give Jethro time to play in the yard; while Gibbs ran thru the cases they'd pulled the names and details together of; trying to find who could possibly be targeting Tim.

Gibbs realized the list was grossly incomplete until they factored in the cases where Tim had hacked into the computers of other agencies and companies in the search of the bad guys. His thoughts were interrupted as Tim came in the house; for a drink.

"Where's Jethro?" Gibbs asked him

"Oh, he's outside, running himself crazy after everything that moves." Tim laughed.

"Tim, we need to talk." Gibbs broke it to him.

"You've found something, haven't you?" Tim's voice dropped to a near whisper; full of panic.

"Hey. Don't do that. just come over here and listen to me." Gibbs instructed.

"Okay."

GIbbs related to him; what his neighbors had told Ziva; watching with dismay; as Tim's face lost it's color and his heartrate elevated, panic began to fill his eyes and Gibbs needed to head this off at the pass.

"McGee!" You will NOT have a panic attack! You got me? Now, relax. calm your breathing down; right now! Deep breath in; deep breath out! That's right, keep doing it; calm. yourself. down."

"Okay, Boss. I'm okay." McGee finally got out; having taken a good 10 minutes to calm himself down.

"Good! Now, go back out there and spend some time with that goofy dog of yours!" Gibbs suggested with a grin.

Tim shuffled out to the backyard; his mind weighing heavy with what Gibbs had just told him. Looking around the yard for his german shephard; he saw nothing. There was no dog; there was no toy he'd been playing with. GIbbs' back gate was closed; but Tim didn't dare venture close to it to inspect it. Jethro was gone!

The only thing Tim could think to do was scream.

"JE...TH....ROOOO!!!"

Gibbs was in the backyard in a flash! Sure enough, the dog was gone! Keeping one hand on his service weapon, he'd grabbed when Tim had screamed; Gibbs inspected his back gate. It had been jimmyed. Since, GIbbs rarely even used this gate; there was no way of knowing when it had been done. The fact that Jethro hadn't made any noise while Tim was in the house; and the fact that where it had been jimmyed didn't look fresh; sent shivers up Gibbs' spine.

This had been planned. Whoever it was, had taken his agent's dog; right out from under their noses.

They were being watched.

Whoever it was had stepped up their attack

It was time to call in the team.


	3. Closing The Ranks

****MINOR CHAPTER REWRITE****

**A/N: My apologies for the delay.**

**DISCLOSURE: I Do not own NCIS or it's characters.**

* * *

_This had been planned. _

_Whoever it was, had taken his agent's dog; right out from under their noses._

_They were being watched._

_Whoever it was had stepped up their attack_

_It was time to call in the team._

****************************

Once he'd stopped screaming his dog's name long enough to realize his boss had heard him and come running; Tim sank to his knees; letting his head fall down into his hands; sat there; shaking. He had known he was being watched; why hadn't he been more careful? Why hadn't he even considered that whoever it was would come after his protective dog to get to him? How could he have been so stupid? These thoughts were tormenting his already shaky hold on his control and now that control slipped even further.

Gibbs; having called Tony while he was examining the gate and the area around it; left it exactly how he found it; and turned his focus to his distraught agent currently on his knees; his head buried in his hands. Making sure his own emotions were tucked away; nice and tight; as much as possible, under the circumstances; he quickly walked over to him; expecting to hear the outpouring of anger and grief; but what he heard was worse.

Silence. Tim was shaking badly; but otherwise; silent. Knowing that part of what Tim was going through was fear of what Abby's reaction would be. Their lab rat was as emotionally attached to the german shepard; if not more; than Tim was. Gibbs also knew that a part of Tim was petrified that Abby would blame him for this as much as Tim, himself had been lightning fast to do. Gibbs felt bad for him; but knew that only Abby could ease this part of his ordeal for him.

In concern for his agent; his safety and his current mental state; the older man did the only thing he could think of to help; he put a hand under his elbow and silently pulled him up; and walked him back into the house; a place of safety. Settling him into a chair at the kitchen table; Gibbs got a glass of ice water and set it down in front of Tim; who now sat as still as a statue; and turned to the coffee maker to make a fresh pot. Putting his cell phone on speaker; he called Ducky while filling the coffee maker.

"Jethro?"

"Ducky, I need you over here."

"What's happened?"

"I'll tell you when you get here. I need you to bring Abby with you."

"We'll be there shortly."

"Thanks, Duck. Make sure you both stay alert and lock your doors."

Hanging up from Ducky; Gibbs turned to check on Tim. The young man sat at the table; so shell-shocked; he didn't even realize he was holding his breath; until a hand placed on his shoulder startled him and he let his breath go on a sob. Dropping his head down; he fought extremely hard to pull himself together. Gibbs had never seen this young man fight so hard to contain his emotions; as he was doing now. After a few minutes; he gave up the fight and looked up at Gibbs.

What Gibbs saw; for the brief second that Tim allowed it to be there; hurt his heart for Tim. Fear and anger had been there; mixed with worry and self-recrimination. None of it was unexpected. What was unexpected; was the way Tim had fought it all; and won. As soon as he let Gibbs see how overwhelmed he felt; even in that brief glimpse; he managed to put it all under wraps. As he dropped his eyes from Gibbs; they had gone blank; a sure sign that the young man was retreating into himself.

Gibbs wasn't surprised to see the withdrawal; concerned; but not surprised; not after the events of the last 48 hours. In fact; Gibbs had expected it. The fact that things had settled down yesterday was disturbing. Apparently, it had been the calm before the storm; obviously orchestrated to knock them off guard. It had worked.

His thoughts were interrupted by the sight of Tony walking up the walkway. He'd come in quietly; having been informed by Gibbs; over the phone; what the situation was. Knowing McGee would already be more than upset; he didn't want a loud arrival of someone to startle him or set him further on edge. When he got to the door; and found it locked; Tony realized just how serious this had gotten. Gibbs had even stressed being extra watchful of his surroundings.

As Gibbs let him in; Tony clearly saw the tightness of Gibbs' motions. The man was pissed. Extremely. His eyes said he was more than that; he was scared. The man was more than likely scared for Tim and Abby. They both loved that dog so much. Not to mention the fact that Tim would be blaming himself; and add this onto the belief he was bowing down under; that he was in danger. Gibbs knew his team members enough; to be aware that this would be part of Tim's reaction. Probably why he had stressed Tony getting there quickly and get Ziva there quickly as well.

Leading Tony into the kitchen; Gibbs still didn't say anything. He just pointed in McGee's direction; his unspoken direction that Tony sit with his team mate. Gibbs took advantage of Tony's arrival to leave the guys and step into the living room to call Abby.

"Gibbs, what's up?"

"Abby, Ducky's on his way to pick you up. Be ready! I don't want him sitting there for any length of time. Stay alert!"

"Gibbs, what's going on?"

"Abby, I'll fill you in when you and Ducky get here."

"**OH, MY GOD!** Something's happened, hasn't it?"

"**ABBY**! Get ready! **DON'T** keep Ducky waiting!"

"O.K. Bossman. Jeez!"

Gibbs called the Director and filled her in on the latest developments.

"Jethro, I'm sending you some help. I'll recruit two teams of two agents to help you process the scene and proceed with the case. Jenny responded.

"Thanks Jen."

"Keep me posted, Jethro." She directed before she rang off.

*************************

Tim sat; withdrawn and statuesque. His brain had shut down; so overwhelmed with everything going through it; the fear; the guilt; the helplessness; the anger. It had all been too much. Suddenly, there was someone sitting beside him; attempting to talk to him; but he couldn't bring his mind back to the present; it was calmer and safer in the emptiness he'd found. His eyes wouldn't even focus. They were stuck staring into nothing.

Gibbs stepped back into the kitchen; and looked over at his boys. One trying to get through to the other one; while the distraught one silently blocked everything out; obviously overwhelmed with it all. Neither Tony or Gibbs liked what they saw when they looked at Tim right now. Gibbs would have almost preferred to see the young man think himself into a panic attack; they would be able to calm him down and he would at least be present and open to hear and possibly even take in some support from the team. It would mean he was functioning. This; this withdrawn inside himself was not something Gibbs liked to see in anyone; but especially, not in one of his agents. Tony would rather see his team mate be crying or screaming out the injustice of it all; than to see him withdrawn like this; so far inside himself he wasn't responding to anyone.

Gibbs' anger at what was happening was seriously eating away at his control. The last thing Tim needed right now; was to see how pissed his boss really and truly was; not to mention; how truly scared he was; that Tim was next for these bastards. Once again, schooling his features; Gibbs turned to keep an eye out for the arrival of Ducky, Abby and Ziva.

After a few silent moments; Tony got up from the table and stepped over to where Gibbs was standing at the window to make a suggestion.

"Boss." Tony looked once again at Tim; before he looked back at Gibbs. "You could just snap off on him; like you usually do when you want his attention." He suggested. For once; there was no mocking or humor in Tony's voice. Gibbs knew Tony was worried about Tim, too.

Looking at Tim again; for a long contemplative minute; he answered Tony without taking his eyes off Tim.

"Not yet. I want to hear Ducky's verdict first."

Tony's concern kicked up a notch; as he realized that this was Gibbs speak for: _Maybe it's better for him this way; at least for now._ This team was Gibbs family. They were his kids. Tony knew this; and knowing this; meant Tony knew how well and truly pissed their fearless leader was. Somebody forgot to tell these idiot bastards they were messin with the wrong Team Leader. "Worse; they were messin with his kids!

As Ducky and Abby pulled up in front of Gibbs' house; Ziva did, also. After very briefly exchanging hello's; they quickly walked up the walkway to the door; and as Gibbs unlocked the door and silently let them in; shutting and locking it behind them; the seriousness of whatever it was; drove their anxiousness up a notch..

When Gibbs; still silent; directed them into his living room and pulled the sliding double doors out of their hiding place in the doorway tracks; pulling them closed behind him as he stepped into the room behind them; fear stepped up to the plate in all of their hearts. Whatever this was about was bad; really bad.

******************************

Tony set a sandwich down in front of Tim; quietly urging him to eat something. Tony had been a little miffed at playing babysitter at first.. But as his brief conversation with Gibbs about the assignment came back to him; he found himself being truthful; and realizing he was actually okay with it and was sorry he'd given Gibbs a hard time about it.:

"_Tony, when the others get here; I need you to watch over McGee; while I fill them in, I don't want Tim to have to hear this over and over again. He doesn't need to be left alone right now." Gibbs had explained._

"_Boss, he doesn't need a babysitter!" Tony had let his anger show; unable to control it in the midst of everything else he was feeling about all of this._

"_Tony! Take a good look at him." Gibbs had held onto his temper; barely. He had no patience for this right now._

_Tony had given up the fight. He didn't need to make this harder on his boss; and he had enough respect for him to understand that. Nodding his head in silent agreement; he'd pulled out a chair and sat down._

"_Okay." Gibbs had breathed out on a sigh. He had turned and waited for the others to arrive._

After all, Gibbs had already caught him up to speed; trusted him to get there quickly and get Ziva there quickly; and was now trusting him to watch over their traumatized team mate. The fact that this was the one team mate that Tony usually harassed ruthlessly; didn't escape Tony's sense of irony; or fail to heighten his sense of responsibility toward him.

****************************

"_You all up to speed about what's happened in the last 24 hours?"_ Gibbs asked Ducky, Abby and Ziva.

When they all agreed that they knew about Tim's believing his life was in danger; and thinking there'd been someone in the garage the night before. They even knew about him having nightmares. Only Ducky and Gibbs knew the horrific details of that nightmare; and the fact that that particular one was the basis for the others he'd been having.

Ziva filled them in on the reports from Tim's neighbors.

Gibbs took a deep breath and as he let it out; he turned his focus onto Abby. Looking directly at her; he broke the news to her:

"Jethro's been taken."

At Abby's quickly indrawn breath and eyes gone wide with fright; Gibbs immediately looked to Ducky. Ducky had already turned his focus onto Abby; as had Ziva. As Abby's knees gave out on her; Ducky and Ziva were prepared with a chair underneath her.

"McGee had been in the house for less than 15 minutes. Jethro sounded no alarm. He didn't even bark. While Tim and I were sitting in the kitchen talking about who it might have been watching his apartment; Jethro was taken. Best I can tell; he was darted with something and then they took him. The back gate's been jimmied. And it wasn't done as recent as today. The gouges are still wet from the last rain.."

Giving them a couple of minutes to both absorb the news and help calm Abby down; he watched his Forensic Scientist for a read in as to where her emotions would take her on this. He didn't want her making this any harder on McGee. But, he also knew that Abby loved the dog almost more than Tim did and was just as; if not more; upset as he was.

The difference between them at the moment; lay in the deep conviction and totally knotted up gut instinct that Tim had been walking around with for the past 24 hours. The other difference would lie in how she treated Tim about this. Hopefully, she would not support Tim's belief that he was to blame; that he should have been more careful. Tim hadn't needed to admit to feeling that way; it had been in his eyes in that quick moment Gibbs had seen his emotions laid bare; before Tim had forced himself to put them away.

Between the shadowed figure; Tim's neighbors reported seeing; his intense gut feeling; and now his dog being snatched from under their noses; there was no doubt; whatever was going on; was serious. He'd already started taking it seriously last night; but this was absolute proof to the rest of them.

Refocusing his thoughts; he broke up the group. "Ducky, I need you to check Tim over. I don't need to tell you this has hit him really hard. You'll find him at the kitchen table; extremely withdrawn; won't look at anyone; won't speak."

"Abby, when Ducky's finished; I need you to sit with Tim; stay with him. But, before you do, I need to ask you; Do you hold him responsible for this?

"**Gibbs!"** Abby was outraged.

"Because, he does." Gibbs finished pointedly. "And if you do blame him; you're no use to him right now."

"Oh, Gibbs!" Abby breathed out. "No! Why would he even think that?"

"Abby, he knows how much Jethro means to you; and he knew someone was watching him. Somehow, he thinks he should have realized they'd go after his dog."

"He is **NOT** to blame!" Abby staunchly stated; as if daring anyone to argue with her.

"You might want to make sure and tell him that." Gibbs quietly told her. "Unless I miss my guess; it's exactly what he needs to hear right now; and he needs to hear it from you."

"You bet!" Abby stated with her normal fire.

"Ziva, you and Tony will need to take the agents the Director is sending out to talk to the neighbors; then all of you will need to process the yard." Gibbs instructed; satisfied that he didn't have to worry about Tim; where Abby was concerned. It was up to Abby now, to make Tim see that.

"Gibbs, if he's not looking at you or speaking to you; how is it you know what he's thinking?" Ziva asked.

"It was in his eyes, Ziva. "It was all there. Tim only looks directly at me with everything he's feeling; when he can't handle it alone. After he let me see how overwhelmed he is; he withdrew." Gibbs explained quietly. "I'm just grateful, he trusted me enough to show me first.

"But, if he trusted you like that; why does he not let you talk to him?" Ziva obviously thought she was missing something important here.

"Because, my dear; he's not ready. Knowing Timothy; he will probably only be able to deal with one emotion at a time; and most likely; at the present time; the one that is most weighing him down; is guilt. Letting Gibbs see what he was feeling; doesn't mean he is ready to talk about it or let himself off the hook for it. And Timothy knows that that is exactly what Gibbs would do. He knows he needs it; he's just not ready for it." Ducky explained.

Gibbs had to agree with Ducky. "Yeah. You're probably right, Duck. Let's go. I want check in on him before we move on from here."

Going out to the kitchen with Ducky and Abby; Gibbs silently motioned for Tony to step back; and both agents silently watched as Ducky attempted to get through to Tim.

"Timothy; I know this is extremely upsetting. I am sorry this is happening to you, my dear boy."

There was no reaction from Tim.

Ducky was undaunted. He understood the boy was traumatized; and on top of the hellish nightmares he'd been having; it was no wonder he had stopped trying to process it all. "All right, Timothy, let's get you up and walking. You need the circulation; as apparently, your brain is shutting down on you. We need to put a stop to that." Ducky instructed firmly.

"Duck, can't you just let him be? Check him over without pushing him so soon?" Gibbs asked.

"No, Jethro; this will not help him And it won't give me an accurate account of his health. He's trying to hide from it. That won't work and it certainly will not help you solve the case. Or, worse; he'll get comfortable where he is and won't want to fight back."

"Well, ok, Duck; but I don't want to push him over the edge, here."

"Jethro, he needs to let us help him deal with this; not hide from it."

"I agree; I just don't want to see him pull away from us; if we push too hard. I'll leave him in your capable hands. I'll be in the dining room going over what we've pulled together on this. Abby, you do whatever Ducky advises, you hear?"

"Of course, Gibbs," Abby quietly agreed. Her extremely quiet demeanor gave testimony to how shaken she was at Tim's current state as well as the dog being taken.

******************************

Once the borrowed agents arrived; they set about first interviewing the neighbors. After they'd spoken to all of them on either side of Gibbs' house; going a mile up and down the street; they returned to the house to begin processing the yard; meticulously beginning to search every square inch; for anything; foot prints; blood; anything. And everything.

Gibbs had been in the dining room; lost in thought; when his phone rang. As he answered it; he lookd at his watch; shocked that he'd been kicking his thoughts around for almost an hour.

"Yeah. Gibbs."

"Jethro, how's McGee?"

"He's pretty shaken up. I left him with Ducky and Abby about 45 minutes ago. At that time; he was so withdrawn he wasn't responding to anyone's voice or presence."

"What's going on?

"He's got so much going in his head; he can't process it all. Hopefully Ducky and Abby have gotten through to him; or at least gotten him to try to get some rest. He needs to sleep."

"As soon as you can get him to respond; let me know. I would like to talk with him."

"Jen!"

"Jethro, I don't want to grill him; I want to let him know we're all in his corner; including his director."

"I'll call you. Thanks again for the extra help."

"I would like to speak with Ducky, Jethro."

"Yeah. All right; hang on. I hope you're not gonna push this; he needs to handle this in his own way; Jen" Gibbs argued as he walked the phone back through the house; in search of Ducky.

He found him in the guest bedroom; watching over Tim. His agent was laying down; shoes off; feet up on the bed; and eyes closed. Abby was laying down with him; Tim's arm actually holding onto her. Silently motioning to Ducky; Gibbs stepped back out of the room. Handing the phone to the M.E.; he almost completely closed the door to the bedroom behind him as he sat down in Ducky's place; watching over two of his team members; two of his kids; both of whom had been seriously traumatized; and were thankfully; helping each other through it.

As Ducky; slid the door back open; he looked over at the sleeping team members; and then at Gibbs; beckoning him out into the hallway. Once in the hallway; Ducky turned and took the conversation away from the bedroom door.

"Jethro, Abby managed to draw Timothy back out of his shell, a little bit. Not far; mind you; but far enough that he willingly came up here and stretched out with her; after she asked him to try to rest. As you can see; they are both asleep at the moment."

"That's great, Duck. It's just what he needed. Jen pressuring you to make him talk?"

"Not at all, Jethro. She merely wanted to remind me what a difficult person you can be; on yourself. She wanted me to make sure you didn't beat yourself up too badly about this."

"Duck; I see my agent assume the blame in a matter of seconds; before I had even crossed the yard to get to him; he was blaming himself. How would I be able to get him to believe he's not responsible; if I wear that responsibility on my sleeve? No one is to blame here."

"I agree, Jethro. Which is exactly what I told the Director. Now, if you'll excuse me; I need to get back to my patients." And so saying; Ducky took himself back to the guest bedroom; leaving Gibbs to shake his head and head back out to the back yard to finish helping Tony and Ziva.

Upon his arrival at his back porch; Gibbs saw all the Agents coming back into the yard; and immediately getting to work searching it thoroughly. Tony silently handed him the neighbors statement notes and turned back to the yard to get started on his part in the processing. Leaving them to continue processing the yard; Gibbs back tracked to the kitchen; in need of some coffee. Taking his coffee with him; he took himself to the dinning room; and spread the information out; about who could possible want to do this to Tim. As he got back charting the possibilities; his head began to swim. A knock on the door saved him from drowning in it all.

Answering the door; he wasn't really surprised to see Jen standing there.

"Jen. Are you in that damn much of a hurry to talk to him? He's sleeping, peacefully; which is something he needs right now."

"Jethro, I came to see what I could do to help." Director Shepard retorted.

"Great! Coffee?"

"That would be nice, Jethro."

"First things, first." Gibbs said as he led her upstairs to the guest bedroom and cracked the door open enough for her to see for herself that Tim was sleeping peacefully. Seeing Abby still sleeping next to him, Tim's arm protectively around her; keeping her from rolling off the bed; cheered Gibbs, for his agent's sake. He was relieved that Tim had let Abby in. It was a great start.

Jen, smiled at Ducky and then retreated; turning around and heading silently back down to the kitchen. Entering the kitchen; Gibbs got her down a cup; and gestured for her to fix herself a cup. I've got stuff spread out in here;" he pointed to the dining room as he headed back there. As Jenny walked into the room; she saw what looked like dossiers on dozens of people.

"What's this?" She asked.

"This is a run down on everyone who might have a reason to be after McGee." Gibbs answered her; tension leaking into his tone as he took out the statements from the neighbors and began to read through them..

"How did they make your list?"

"Their case was solved mostly by McGee's computer work." he answered without taking his eyes off the otes.

"Meaning?"

"He either located the paper trail; hacked it; decrypted it; followed the money trail; something that made a difference; that helped solve the case."

"You're gonna be at this for a month!"

"Longer. This is going back to his first case with us; where his computer skills made the difference."

"Which one was that?"

"The Watson Case."

"Where does this put Abby? How many has she helped crack? Is she a target too?"

"Doesn't appear to be. We won't take any chances; you know that."

"I think you forgot to ask yourself one question to ask when you pulled these together.

"What's that?"

How many of them ever knew it was McGee who figured them out?"

Gibbs could only smile. She had just cut dozens off their list! Of course, he would get the team to double check; but it was certainly beginning to look better for solving this case.

"I knew you could still think like a Field Agent!" he rewarded her.

"Always, Jethro." She smiled at him.

"No. No, not always, Jen." Gibbs softly reminded her; unable to help himself. Flashing her his trademark grin; he quickly brought his coffee cup up to his face; effectively hiding any more of his reaction from her. Letting go of the moment of humor; he looked back down at the case studies in front of him; his expression once again turning serious.

Quickly, but thoroughly, he took himself back through the cases; separating them once more; this time using the one criteria he had missed; that Jen had brought to his attention. When he was finished the stack; as he suspected it would be; was much, much smaller. Taking a break; he looked up to find her watching him work; a reflective smile on her face. Looking at his watch; he was shocked to see he'd been at this for two hours.

He cleared his throat and stood up; stretching his limbs; before lifting his coffee cup up; his silent message of needing a refill. Heading to the kitchen; he primed his ears for what was going on around him. The house was still silent. Refilling his coffee; he headed to the back porch to check on his agents' progress. Jenny followed him; anxious to see if they'd recovered any clues as to the identity of the dog taker.

"Hey, Boss." Tony greeted him; while bagging a cloth fiber.

"Where did you find that?" Gibbs asked

"Over by your swing." Tony answered.

"What else have you found?" Jenny asked from behind Gibbs.

"Oh, Director! Um. We didn't find a lot of anything. It's the searching that's so time consuming. We don't want to miss anything so, we're taking it really slow." Tony assured both of them; almost nervously.

"Show anything you find to McGee, if he can identify it as his or Jethro's; it'll cut down on the lab's work." Gibbs instructed. "I'm gonna go check on him; hopefully he's gotten ahold of himself enough to function." Gibbs stated;

"Jethro, all of a sudden you're playin the 'tough drill sergeant on him?' Jenny asked.

"Jen, just because I gave him time to pull himself together; doesn't mean I was goin soft on him. And if we don't push him; now that he's had time to catch up on sleep; and hopefully think things through; we'll lose him to the stress of all of this; before we can do anything to stop it." Gibbs told her; temporarily forgetting that some of the agents in the yard; were strangers. Looking at them now; he silently cursed himself for not thinking before he spoke about McGee like that in front of them. Looking at her sharply for a minute longer; he turned and went back into the house.

"So, is Agent Gibbs pissed at McGee for flipping out; or for not being careful enough that his dog got stolen?" one of the assisting agents asked; forgetting for a minute; who he was standing next to.

**"Special Agent Edwards!"** Jenny was livid; and her voice carried that clearly across the yard and very well; because Gibbs came back outside; obviously having not gotten very far inside the house.

Tony took a step toward the mouthy agent; intent on showing him the error of his ways; when suddenly he felt a strong arm holding him still. Looking over; he found Ziva shaking her head at him; and nodding her head in the direction Gibbs had just gone in. Turning his head; he saw Gibbs coming back; fury not far beneath the surface.

"Problem?" Gibbs asked in a steel laced voice. He was still pissed at Jen's lack of tact a moment ago; and was pretty sure that whatever this was about; he was not going to like.

Tony's attempt to go after the cocky agent didn't escape Gibbs' notice; neither did Ziva's arm on Tony's stopping his Senior Field Agent from doing something stupid. He sent Tony a glare; letting him know to back off; the boss would handle it; before turning his attention back to Jenny.

"No, Jethro. I was just about to answer Special Agent Edwards' question" Jenny answered in her almost sarcastic voice; the one reserved for clueless people who had pissed her off; without realizing it.

"Yeah? Well, it must have been a damn good question, Director; because I think the whole neighborhood heard you. Care to share?" Gibbs asked quietly.

Jenny looked at Agent Edwards. "Go ahead, Agent Edwards. Share."

The Agent in question; gulped. He knew his ass was fried now. He hadn't meant anything bad by the question; he had just been trying to figure the guy out. He was so well known for his less than personable demeanor; he didn't come off as someone who cared one whit about any of his agents' personally.

"Well, Sir; I asked if the reason you're pissed at Agent McGee is because he fell apart; or if it was because he wasn't careful enough with the safety of his dog; and now the dog is missing."

Tony and Ziva silently watched; seeing the fight Gibbs was waging not to explode on the guy.

Gibbs stomped down on his rising fury. He knew that most of the time agents who didn't work with him regularly; but had the joy of assisting his team in an investigation; tried to figure him out; and most of the time; they got it wrong. But, this didn't need to be spread like gossip.

This needed to be dealt with carefully for many reasons; not the least of which; was; needing this agent and the others that were helping with this case; to understand just how serious this was. And why a victim's emotional stability had a lot to do with it; and wasn't to be trifled with; especially when no one knew just what these dog takers were gonna do next; there was every reason to believe that Tim was their ultimate target. Again; nothing to be trifled with.

"Agent Edwards; let me ask you a question." Gibbs quietly requested; surprising every one of the new people in his back yard at the moment.

Ziva, Tony and even the Director; stood by with small smiles on their faces; waiting to see if Gibbs would lose the battle and go off; knowing that the explosion would be one that these borrowed agents would not soon forget.

"Sir?"

"Don't call me, Sir. It's Agent Gibbs. What makes you think I'm pissed at my agent who's just had his dog stolen? Was it the fact that he's been sick with fear that someone's after him? Was it his neighbors telling us that there's been a stranger hanging out at his apartment for the last two nights? Or maybe you think it was the horrible nightmares he's been having? Or maybe it's the fact that I've sensed someone following us? Oh, wait a minute! I've got it! It's because my agent was in my house; talking to me; at my request; while his dog was out in my backyard; again at my request; when he was taken? I'm not sure which part I'm supposed to be pissed at him about? Oh, that's right, it's because he didn't react to this latest development like you think I would want him to?"

"No, sir; I mean Agent Gibbs. I was just trying to understand what ticked you off; so I would know not to do it around you."

Gibbs was flabbergasted by the man's honesty. It was one of a tiny number of reasons he wasn't blowing up at the upstart.

"For the record; Agent Edwards; I am not pissed at my agent. I'm trying to solve the case of who is out to get him and why. I suggest you concentrate your efforts on doing the same; in the capacity you were assigned." Gibbs quietly offered.

Gibbs looked at Tony and Ziva; flashing both of them his trademark "Thank you" smile; he turned and went back into the house.

"Wow!" Edwards let out a breath of relief. "I thought sure he'd be pissed at me!"

"Oh, he is, Edwards; he is!" Tony promised.

"What? No, way; he didn't even raise his voice!" Edwards protested; to the laughter of Tony, Ziva and even Jenny.

"Edwards; let me let you in on a "_Understanding Gibbs 101"_ secret. The quieter he reams you out; the more seriously pissed he is at you." Tony explained as if it made perfect sense.

"Really?" Edwards looked doubtful; hoping they were just yanking his chain.

"Oh, definately," came Ziva

"Yes." chimed in Jenny.

"Absolutely!" Tony confirmed his own piece of advice.

"Well, if he was so pissed at me; why did he smile at the two of you?" he asked Tony and Ziva.

"That's easy." Tony exclaimed

"He was thanking us." Ziva explained.

"What? What for?" Edwards demanded.

"Oh, that's easy too." Tony answered with a smile.

"He was thanking me for stopping Tony from punching your bulbs out." Ziva offered as an explanation.

"Huh?" Edwards was lost.

"And he was thanking me for not punching your lights; lights, Ziva; not bulbs; out! He told me to let him handle it and I did.

"What? How? he never spoke to you!"

"You'll find, Special Agent Edward," Jenny answered in laughter;"That the biggest "_Understanding Gibbs 101"_ secret is "Agent Gibbs says much more with his silence; than he ever says with his words."

After a moment of shared laughter between the Team Gibbs agents and Director; Jenny got them back on target. "Are you finished processing the yard?" She seriously asked them.

"Yes, Director," Ziva answered still smiling.

"Front yard, too? Walkway? sidewalk?" Jenny pushed.

"On our way"; Tony promised.

"All right. Carry on, Special Agents." Jenny ordered as she turned to go back into the house.

"Ma'am?" Agent Edwards called.

Jenny turned back around; curiuos to know what his question would be after the conversation that hopefully had just enlightened him. "You have a question?"

"Yes, Ma'm" Edwards bashfully admitted. The conversation from a few minutes ago had seriously deflated his self-important; all-knowing attitude and it showed already.

"Well? Go on, ask it." Jenny encouraged.

"Well, Ma'm; if Agent Gibbs was as pissed at me; as the three of you are trying to get me to believe than why didn't he raise his voice?"

"Respect, Agent Edwards. Respect." Jenny answered without hesitation.

"I'm afraid I don't understand." the young man admitted.

"Agent DiNozzo?" Jenny threw the conversation in Tony's lap.

"Simple, Edwards; Gibbs is respectful. He respects his neighbors; respects the two very upset and sleep deprived agents; currently trying to get some of that sleep in his house and he even respects you!"

"You lost me."

"Edwards; Gibbs respects the unmitigated truth you answered his questions with. Today was your lucky day. You learned some of the most important Gibbs rules; and you didn't lose you hearing for the experience. Hell, he didn't even send you packin!" Tony exclaimed.

"Maybe so, Tony; but he will send us all packin if we don't get back to work." Ziva poiinted out.


	4. Don't Cry

A/N : This is a short chapter. Deliberately.

DISCLAIMER: I do not own NCIS or its characters.

* * *

Once inside, Gibbs took several deep breaths to calm himself down. What had just taken place outside; had no bearing on what happened from here on. Re-focusing; he headed to the guest bedroom to check on Tim and Abby. Ducky had been too quiet, too. Gibbs was beginning to get worried. Stomping down on the needless emotion; he slowly and silently opened the bedroom door; just enough to peek at how everyone was doing. Seeing Ducky asleep in his chair brought a smile to his face. _Bless the ole guy_! Moving his eyes over to the bed; he was relieved to see Tim's arm still protectively around Abby as she slept at his side.

Gibbs enjoyed the feeling that; at least for the moment; this portion of his family was safe and regaining ground on their soundness; as well as finding rest through their personal storm. Noting a slight movement at the edge of his vision; Gibbs shifted his eyes up to his Agent's face; fully expecting him to still be sleeping peacefully; he was completely startled to see that he was in fact; wide awake; staring up at the ceiling; silent tears streaming down his face. The next movement was clearly visible; as Tim silently and carefully moved his arm; so he could slowly wipe his tears away; without disturbing his roommates; most especially his bunkmate.

Not wanting to invade his privacy; Gibbs silently withdrew and headed back downstairs. While grateful that Tim had rejoined the land of the living; he hurt for him. And while Gibbs wasn't certain that Tim wanted or even needed to be alone right now; he strongly suspected that if he had really wanted to not be alone; he would not have been so careful not to wake his roommates. As hard as it was; Gibbs decided to leave Tim alone; let him handle his pain privately; watching from a distance. He would not let him flounder through it completely alone; by any stretch.

Going back to the kitchen; Gibbs sat lost in thought; while suspecting that Tim's withdrawal had been brought on by self-appointed guilt; he'd been relieved that Abby had been quick to take care of that; and that Ducky had supervised his agent's return to the land of the living; as well as obviously making sure he got some much needed sleep. _Damn, he wished he could figure out who the hell was behind this!_ Looking at his watch; he noted that it had been a half hour since he'd come down from checking on the sleeping bunch. Wanting to give Tim a kick-start back into the investigation and away from feeling like the victim; Gibbs decided it was time to rouse him up.

As he headed back to the guest bedroom; he made sure he kept his entry quiet; not wanting to startle Abby or Ducky awake. Tim deserved a more circumspect method of putting his emotions back in check. Peeking into the room; Gibbs found that Tim had already regained his composure; but was now silently waging war with the rest of his pain; fighting its' way out. He was so unused to being the focus of an attack of this nature; he was seriously struggling with how to deal with it. His eyes were full of that pain; his free hand fisted and unfisted around the blanket that he was laying on; the knuckles white with strain and his body was stiff with effort to not give in. His suffering agent looked ready to explode. It was definitely time to get him out of there before any more time in this agitated state sent him over the edge.

Knocking softly on the door; so that only an awake person would hear it; Gibbs silently waited to see what Tim's reaction would be. Instantly, the young man's eyes snapped shut; in an immediate rush to hide what he was feeling. He visably forced himself to calm down. Gibbs silently walked to where Tim could see him; and offered him a silent hand up; careful not to disturb Abby.

Tim silently and morosely followed in Gibbs footsteps to the kitchen. Wearing the look of someone who was desperate for a sanctioned meltdown; he sat hunched over in the chair; not knowing what to do with himself or what to say. Although he felt better now that he'd gotten some sleep; and had heard Abby's conviction that he wasn't to blame; the blessed numbness was gone. Now he hurt; the excruciating screaming; crying at the injustice of it all; kind of hurt that fought to be let out.

Gibbs, watching him for a long silent minute; figured he needed to let it out before he blew up at someone or worse. Silently, he motioned for Tim to follow him down to the basement. The young man did so with much trepidation. _Boats. He sucked at carpentry! Maybe Gibbs was gonna let him hack all his hard work into bits to work out some of his anger? Yeah, Right, Tim; like that would ever happen!_

As they descended the steps into the basement; Tim was surprised and relieved to find; instead of a boat; a punching bag with gloves. Handing Tim the gloves; Gibbs watched as the young man just stared at them.

"Go, on, Tim; put em on." Gibbs instructed quietly.

Ever the obedient agent; Tim did as Gibbs told him; and put the gloves on; still not making an effort to attack the bag. Gibbs moved to stand behind the bag and encouraged him to hit it.

"I can't, Boss." Tim explained dejectedly; taking the gloves back off.

"Talk to me." Gibbs requested.

"About what?" Tim asked; not understanding where Gibbs was going with this.

"Why it is you can't let yourself let it out?" Gibbs' tone hadn't changed. It was still quiet and concerned.

"I just…I dunno…I just cant'." Tim stammered.

"Is there some unwritten McGee code that says you have to keep everything bottled up in front of anyone else?" Gibbs asked; thinking he'd figured it out.

"Actually, that's it exactly, Boss. I just can't seem to work past being raised that way. My father firmly enforced the "Yo're a man; don't cry." Tim sadly explained.

"Tim, do something for me. Ask yourself this question. "Do I want to let this bury me; or do I want to allow myself a minute to let it all out so I can re-focus and catch these bastards?" Gibbs tone picked up in volume and intensity; hoping to kick start Tim's desire to get past this.

"If you're willing to re focus; then I suggest you allow yourself to get rid of everything that's building up; weighing you down right now."

"I don't know how." Tim admitted; looking Gibbs in the eye for the first time since they'd reached the basement.

"Yeah? You mean when there's people around? Okay. I get that. But, you've already rejected the gloves as an option. Okay. Try this; when you think of Jethro right now, what do you see in your mind?"

Tim's eyes instantly filled with anger. Gibbs was glad to see it and pushed the issue; deliberately adding fuel to the fire; wanting him to explode; here where it could be dealt with constructively; to let it all out so he could re-focus.

"They watched you. They followed you. They targeted you and they targeted Jethro."

Tim froze. His anger left his eyes; only to be replaced instantly with fear; desolate; helpless; heart-wrenching, shaking fear. _They'd be back for him; he was sure of it!_

Gibbs mentally head slapped himself. _Damn it!_ This was the last thing he'd wanted to do to this kid. Quickly, he stepped up and pulled him into a reassuring hug and quietly promised him:

"We will not let them get to you! I'm sorry. I was only pushing you to get you to address your anger; I wanted you to lash out at the bag. I'm sorry, Tim"

Tim lost the fight. Where his anger hadn't done it for him; his fear and his boss' efforts to get him to address both that fear and anger he'd been fighting so hard to keep bottled up; did. While he wasn't lashing out with it; he was now letting it out; As Tim's sobs wracked his shoulders and soaked Gibbs' shirt; Gibbs sent up a silent prayer of thanks that his surrogate son was trusting him enough to let him in; letting him help him through this private hell. Holding him firmly; he quietly encouraged him to let it all out and promised to be there for him through it all.

Several heart wrenching; grief stricken moments later; Gibbs frowned as his hearing picked up the sound of someone carefully opening his basement door. Looking up from where he was holding Tim through his raging storm; he found Ducky already turning back around from the door and closing it. Thankful that it had been Ducky and no one else; Gibbs wiped the frown off his face and re-focused on his now silent agent.

Having cried himself dry and gotten all of his wayward emotions out or put back under wraps; Tim once again felt drained; but in a calm sense; now. At the moment he felt safe; safer than he'd felt since this whole nightmare started. He found himself not wanting to move; which in turn scared the hell out of him. Forcing himself to pull back from Gibbs; he smiled a small smile of gratitude and said:

"Thank you." His voice was small but sincere.

"Feel better?"

In response, Tim found he couldn't answer honestly without raising more questions; which he didn't want. The small smile he offered didn't reach his eyes. Looking Gibbs in the eye; he told him:

"I need to go check on Abby."

Understanding that Tim had reached his limit on letting his emotions out; Gibbs let him go. He knew that from this point, Tim would stoically bear every & any emotion that hit him; without a word to anyone. Tim hated being seen as weak; something he'd felt under a microscope about since joining this team; and they all knew it. Gibbs promised his agent silently; _"I won't let you get lost in this, Tim."_

Going back upstairs; Gibbs ordered pizza and sandwiches for lunch; and as he waited for it all to arrive; he once again, made the rounds through his house to check on everyone. The agents outside were still hard at work processing the front yard. Tim was now quietly sitting on the back porch with Abby; along with Ducky. None of them were doing any talking. Not surprisingly; Tim was sitting with his back to the yard; not wanting to be too acutely reminded of what had just happened out there. Gibbs was surprised he was out there at all. Abby had probably encouraged him; and Ducky had more than likely had a hand in helping get that far, as well.

Seeing the three of them so quiet; knowing the reason behind it; hurt Gibbs' heart. Not wanting to disrupt the peace and quiet they were giving each other; he turned to go back to the kitchen. His movement at the French Doors caught Tim's attention. As Tim's eyes caught his; Gibbs tried to silently ask his agent if he was okay. Tim managed to give him a small smile; still not reaching his eyes; but it was something and Gibbs accepted it; giving him an encouraging smile in return.

It was a damn good start.


	5. Moving Forward

**The Loop - Chapter 5**

Gibbs went back to the kitchen and set about making room for the soon to be arriving lunch. He was grateful that Jenny had stayed outside to oversee the case work; especially after that near confrontation with that smart-assed upstart "Agent Edwards". Thirty quiet minutes later; when lunch had arrived; the agents in the front yard stopping their work to bring it in; everyone piled into the kitchen and dining room and while they all appreciated the food; none of them were jovial in spirit or had anything to say. Surprisingly enough; even the Director was speechless.

Having a room full of silent people was very disconcerting; to say the least and Gibbs suspected it was only making Tim; as well as the rest of them; all the more on edge; so he turned on the radio to break up the silence permeating the entire house. Soon, there were small jokes about the music groups playing on the station Gibbs had it on. But, those didn't get very far and soon the music was all you could hear.

A soon as lunch was over; Jenny headed back to NCIS and once everyone else had finished eating; Gibbs requested Ducky and Abby head back to work; as well. Directing all three of his own agents to do the same; taking the samples and pulled information; was well as the neighbors' statements with them. Once they'd gotten under way; he led the borrowed agents back outside to finish processing the scene. Back at NCIS; while Abby processed the samples; Tim typed up the neighbors' statements; as Ziva and Tony went through Gibbs' search criteria and already pulled up information on suspects. The afternoon passed quickly for all of them.

When Gibbs finally arrived at NCIS; two hours later and with the borrowed agents in tow; his team had the updated suspect list ready for him. After perusing it for a minute; Gibbs nodded in silent agreement with what the team had come up with; before handing it back for copies to be made and distributed to each team member. They had come up with a larger list than Gibbs was comfortable with. Realizing that any one of this number of people could be after one of his own; was very upsetting; to say the least. Having the drug tests come back negative hadn't helped either. If Tim had been drugged; it had been something quickly metabolized after doing it's damage. They would definately need to be kept on the alert.

Each person had landed on the list either because they knew Tim's face and or his name or had found it during the course of their criminal trial. Either way; each person was on the list because there was enough reason to suspect they had reason to want to hurt him. They could trace Tim back the end of their freedom. Once Ziva had copies of the list handed out; they all took the time to read over it once again.

* * *

Captain Mike Watson  
Kyle Grayson  
Petty Officer Cynthia Cluxton  
Karen Wilkerson  
Petty Officer Niles Wilson  
Mary Hanlan  
Fred Hanlan  
Jonathan Hanlan  
Jeremy Pryor  
Gunnery Sgt. Leeka  
Simon Frankel  
Hunter Huxley  
Frank Smith  
Kyle Zolin  
Donny Potter  
John Kirby  
The Briefcase Mafia  
Jamie Carr  
Marcos Ceasan  
Captain Kevin Dorn  
Mikel Mawher  
Terry Spooner  
Drew Paragon  
Augie Breen  
Rebecca Biddle  
Samuel Tate  
Madison Cooper  
Dr. Russell Pike  
Deputy Tyler Barrett  
Major Bradley Raines  
Landon Grey  
Det. Marshall Collins  
Jonathan Chow  
Petty Officer Erica Perelli  
Trent Kort  
Kelvin Ridgeway  
George Stenner

**

* * *

  
**With four original team members; including himself; along with four borrowed agents; the list was quickly divided up so that each person had five of the possibilities to research. Doing their research; searching their current locations; cell mates; cell block mates and activities was the planned attack.

However; not thirty minutes after the team began what was going to be an exhaustive task; Director Shepard came down to the squad room with the bad news that this was no longer an active case. The MCRT did not investigate cases of stolen pets; even if it was one of their own. Right now; that was what this was; a stolen dog; nothing more.

All borrowed agents were sent back to their teams and Team Gibbs was returned to active status. The case of Jethro being taken from Gibbs' backyard; was now put on the back burner. The entire team felt like they had just been sucker-punched. While Gibbs, Tony and Ziva all tried exceptionally hard; not to immediately look to Tim for his reaction; they all; in turn; failed miserably. One by one; Tim found each of his team members looking to him; to see what he would show them; his reaction was. Determined to be strong; not to appear the slightest beat weak; Tim stoically; straigtened up his spine; and took a deep breath; and spread the new case information out on his desk; while he began the computer search for the info they would need to work this case.

Summarily shown that Tim would be stronger about this than they had given him credit; Tony and Ziva headed out to work the crime scene. Gibbs looked Tim over one last time before he turned and left to join Tony and Ziva. In the elevator; the three of them were quiet. Too quiet. Tony and Ziva were shocked at Tim's calm reception to his case's status. Gibbs, on the other hand; was very concerned. He hadn't liked what he'd just seen. He whipped out his cell phone and hit a speed dial #.

"Jethro?"

"Duck, Tim's case has been shoved onto the back burner. He's in the squad room while Tony, Ziva and I go work this new case. You or Abby keep an eye on him while we're gone."

"Certainly, Jethro. How did he take the news?"

"Too well."


	6. Back to Normal?

_"Duck, Tim's case has been shoved onto the back burner. He's in the squad room while Tony, Ziva and I go work this new case. You or Abby keep an eye on him while we're gone.  
__"Certainly, Jethro. How did he take the news?"  
__"Too well."_

* * *

"Not to worry, Jethro; we'll keep an eye on the lad." Ducky promised.

Thanks, Duck; and thanks for coming in on a Saturday." Gibbs closed the conversation and gave out a huge sigh. Closing his eyes; he reharnessed his thoughts; forcing himself to refocus on the present case.

"Boss, it's late on a Saturday; and we're not even supposed to be on call; why did we get this case?" DiNozzo asked in anger.

"Because we made ourselves available by being here, Tony." Gibbs tiredly reminded him.

"Just great!" Tony whined.

"Let's just get it cracked; so we can go home, yes?" Ziva asked with her normal diplomacy.

"Right!" Tony and Gibbs agreed; grinning at the Mosad Officer's finally getting an American Expression right.

Left behind while the team went out on their call; Tim was able to begin researching the list that they had all come up with. It was only a short 15 minutes later however; he'd only just begun running down the names on the list; running their names through the legal system checks; before he got called on to direct his attention to the current case at hand. Two Petty Officers had been found murdered at a night club.

Running down license plates and financial records; soon swallowed up Tim's time; and before he knew it; the team had returned and all evidence needed to be tagged and logged. While under normal circumstances; Gibbs would have kept his team going until they dropped; this week had been far from normal and everyone was stretched to the snapping point. Realizing this; Gibbs sent everyone home at eight that night; with the instructions to stay sharp and be careful.

As he and Tim headed home to Gibbs' house Saturday night; the Senior agent looked over at Tim; needing to see how his youngest agent was holding up under the strain of having to work the current case while his case was put on the back burner. As he suspected; Tim was holding on tight to whatever it was he was feeling about it; sitting silently; resting his eyes; but allowing the tension he felt to escape through his clenching and unclenching hands on his lap.

Gibbs left him alone; trying to refocus; himself; on the case at hand enough to get things thought through; maybe think of something they hadn't thought of yet; in hopes to get the case solved quickly. As they reached Gibbs' house; and Gibbs shut the car off; Tim's breathing got harsher; more ragged. Gibbs mentally head slapped himself. _Damn it! He'd completely lost sight of this possibility!_

Judging by the reaction he was getting from Tim; it was clear; the young man was petrified of being here. Gibbs knew that it was due to the dog being taken from here; and that Tim's sense of unease and fear had been refilled and now settled in his mind. It would be another rough night for this young man; especially now that Jethro wasn't here to make him feel safe.

Wanting to hopefully refocus Tim's attention in a more constructive avenue; Gibbs decided to talk about the current case.

"Have you come up with any new ideas or leads that we haven't thought of on these murders?" Gibbs quiet and unexpected question did what it had been intended to do. Stopped short in his current mind set near bursting with churning questions and rising fear; Tim was both shocked and speechless. He had so totally tuned out any thoughts of the current case; he'd been completely caught off guard. Knowing what a complete breech of Gibbs' rules; this was; Tim just knew his ass was in trouble. Still; he couldn't do anything but admit to the snafu and hope Gibbs wouldn't go too hard on him.

"Sorry, Boss; I have to admit; that wasn't what I was thinking about." Tim guiltily admitted.

"I know. What's your answer?" Gibbs asked his agent; obviously letting it slide.

"Nothing new; at least nothing that's come to me." Tim admitted; silently grateful for the unspoken free pass Gibbs had just given him.

"Any problems tracking down the records for the two murder victims?" Gibbs pushed; wanting to firmly re-establish the current case in his agent's head for the night.

"No, everyone I needed to talk to was extremely helpful and cooperative. It was a nice change of pace; compared to the majority of pains in the rear we usually have to go through." Tim admitted with a smile.

"Good. Come on; I'm ready to grab something to eat; aren't you?" Gibbs asked; getting out of the car

"No, Boss. I'm not hungry." Tim quietly admitted; his attention once again on his nerves and niggling fear. In the free time he'd had this afternoon; using every spare second he'd found up until they'd left for the night; Tim had gone through the cases they'd solved since he'd been with the agency and had come up with quite a few more names than what Gibbs' list had on it; and he was deeply unsettled about it. Tim wanted to talk to Gibbs about it; but it was obvious that Gibbs' mind was on the current case; and Tim wasn't going to interfere with that. He'd sit on the new additions to the list until such time as Gibbs was free to talk about it. It would be extremely difficult and unnerving; but he knew he was capable of handling it. At least he hoped so.

"I want you to outline on paper; what you found out about these two victims; for me. Why don't you do it while I'm fixing us something to eat?" Gibbs asked; as if Tim hadn't spoken of his lack of appetite. Gibbs was determined not to let him dwell on any part of his obvious current emotional roller coaster ride.

"Sure, Boss." Tim agreed; actually glad to have something to occupy his thoughts; other than his poor missing dog and overwhelming fear that the responsible parties would be back for him; and soon. Not to mention; the new additions to the list of suspects who possibly would have stalked him and taken his dog. Ones he had yet to share with anyone; but was sure belonged on their list.

Tim was much too quiet while working on the outlines Gibbs had requested; as well as all the way through the dinner he didn't eat. Gibbs had known that Tim would become more and more quiet and withdrawn as his emotions got harder for him to hide and keep control of. But this; this was something more. Something more was simmering beneath the surface; that the young man was not sharing and whatever it was; was not good.

"Hey." Gibbs quietly asked for Tim's attention.

"Boss?" Tim answered with trepidation; knowing that the tone Gibbs was using meant he wanted to ask a personal question because he was worried about him.

"Wanna tell me about it?" Gibbs asked. "Something's on your mind." his boss stated; letting him know that Tim wasn't doing a very good job of not letting things bother him.

"I'm just trying to figure out what we've missed with these two murders. I'm frustrated that I keep comin' up empty." Tim explained; knowing that this was not what Gibbs had been asking about; and what's more; Tim knew that Gibbs knew; Tim knew what he had meant and had deliberately evaded the actual question and answered him about the one he hadn't been asking about.

Gibbs stared at Tim for a silent minute; trying to tramp down on his desire to make Tim tell him what was really on his mind. It was obvious the guy was determined to keep his attention where Gibbs had maneuvered it to be; on the current case. Giving Tim an encouraging grin; he told him. "Don't sweat it; it's been a long day; your brain's probably as worn out as mine is. We both need to catch some sleep. Leave the outlines where they're at; and go get some sleep." he encouraged.

Tim silently nodded in agreement and went to the guest bedroom; knowing there would be no sleep for him; not any time soon anyway. Wanting to give his mind the benefit of the doubt; in its ability to relax; Tim stretched out on the bed and even bravely closed his eyes. That lasted all of 30 seconds; before the vivid replay of finding Jethro gone from the backyard and throwing himself down to his knees in shaking fear; resurfaced on the movie screen in his mind in full color mode; leaving him breathing heavily in agitation; as his eyes opened in stark alarm; until his mind comprehended he was safe and presently not in danger.

Feeling like he was fighting a loosing battle; Tim; refusing to lose this time; deliberately worked to reclaim a sense of calm; re-harness his emotions; and quiet his raging thoughts. He needed sleep and knew that it would not come to him unless he worked hard for it. And so; keeping his eyes wide open; glued to the ceiling; Tim forced his brain to count. He counted sheep; he counted chickens; he counted constellations and stars; hell; he even forced himself to count the days within the total number of years he'd been alive! Remarkably; it seemed to do the trick; as his brain soon shut down and his eyes closed in exhaustion.

Gibbs breathed a sigh of relief; as he checked on him some ten minutes later. It had been an hour since Tim had gone to the guest room to get some sleep and he'd known that it would be a struggle for the young man; so he'd left him to it; willing him to win the fight If Tim had needed help; he would have asked for it. But, then again; Gibbs had quickly reminded himself that Tim hated being seen as weak; so would not be asking for help with anything right now. So, Gibbs had quietly sat and listened for any sounds of being needed. Having heard none; Gibbs had stayed out of Tim's way. Somehow; some way; Tim's brain seemed to appreciate the pleasantness of a peaceful night sleep. Apparently; Tim had no nightmares during the night; in fact; he could not remember any dream at all.

Tim awoke in time to have breakfast and get ready to go in to work; even if it was a Sunday; neither Gibbs nor Tim wanted to sit at home while this case sat unsolved. Although breakfast was a strangly silent meal; with only quiet morning greetings breaking it up; it was nice. Both agents while appreciating the calm; were concerned about the storm that was undoubtedly coming. Gibbs was concerned that they would not be able to solve the current case. His youngest agent was concerned that all was; all of a sudden; too quiet.

Tim was beginning to feel the resurfacing concern that his own case would be dropped and he'd never see Jethro again; or worse; that the case wouldn't get re-opened until they'd come back to get him. It was that thought; that growing sense of being right; that kept him from having an appetite; from being able to fall asleep without a major battle of wits with his mind; and kept him more than reluctant to go out in the field until this was over; no matter how long it took.

"Boss." Tim finally had to get it off his chest.

"McGee?" Gibbs asked.

"I would like to be removed from active field agent status; please." Tim formally but ashamedly requested.

"That's a pretty big step to have on your record. Not to mention, unnecessary. I was already planning on keeping you on desk duty; unofficially." Gibbs reasoned.

"Thanks, Boss." Tim gratefully accepted.

"We haven't lost sight of the need to keep watch, Tim. Don't worry." Gibbs promised. "It's not safe to have you out there in the field right now. For you or for whoever's out there with you."

"I knew you'd understand." Tim reasoned; his smile small and not even close to reaching his eyes.

Gibbs smiled encouragingly back at his agent; as they both got ready to head to the office.

Once at work; things quickly refocused on the case at hand; and after rechecking surveillance footage at the building next to where the bodies had been found; the likeliest person they needed to talk to; became obvious. Even Tony and Ziva had come in, as had Abby. They, like Tim and Gibbs; did not want to sit at home or even do anything outside of work; while this case went unsolved. As the day wore on; the case wrapped up and tempers stopped flaring and the good-natured ribbing came back to visit. However; it soon became obvious that it just didn't seem right; getting back to normal; given that things were far from normal for one of their own. Somehow; they made it through the rest of the day; and that night; once again; Tim seemed to be able to get some sleep. He refused to let on about how much of a struggle it was to get that sleep. He refused to be seen as weak.

By the end of the week; with the two new cases that the week had brought with it; things seemed strangely okay; with the exception; of course; of the dog's disappearance still being a mystery that had no positive possibilities coming to mind. With practically no time available to work on Tim's case; Tim's frustration level grew and began to fester. The fact that he was still not eating; was doing nothing to help him feel better. Ducky had managed to get him to start drinking nutritional substitutes; which was better than no nutrition at all.

Gibbs kept both an eye and an ear out for whatever trouble Tim seemed to be burying himself under. He would listen for sounds of distress or even problems; after the young man would head off to bed. He would discreetly glance at him more periodically than normal; but not so much that it became obvious. He did not like what he saw. Gibbs knew his agents pretty damn well and he could always tell when they were hiding something. He couldn't always tell what it was they were hiding; but he always knew when it was something. And in this case; it didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out what it was that Tim was hiding. You only had to know and understand the young man to figure it out.

Still; it was very disturbing for each of them; to see Tim suffer in silence this way. But, while they all felt for him; ached for him; they all also realized; that there was precious little they could do for him. If they worked on his case in their off hours; they'd get no sleep. By the end of the week; all of them were feeling as frayed around their edges as Tim looked. Gibbs was only managing to keep him winning the war to stay rested. No one was able to stop his mind from tormenting him or his appetite from evading him. Both Gibbs and Ducky; and even Abby on countless occasions; would put something edible on his desk or in his hands; only to watch him barely nibble on it; or worse; set it aside untouched.

As the weekend came upon them; Tim found himself closer to exploding than he'd been in a very long time. Having successfully kept his anger in check; even as he continued to compile the list he thought was important; he was now desperate to get rid of the anger; and everything else buried underneath it; before he said or did something he'd regret; He knew that his team had felt it radiating off of him more and more every day; and respectfully; they had left him alone about it. There had been no teasing or ribbing; but neither had there been any overly sympathetic looks or words. Gibbs, Tony and Ziva had all realized he needed things to stay the way they usually were; as much as possible; in order to hold onto the thin grip he managed to keep on all that was building up; wanting to rage against the machine called beurocracy. The one entitled "red tape" wasn't far behind in its' culpability toward Tim's almost over powering rage.

Their concern for his health was becoming more obvious with every passing day; as was the reason for it. It had been six days since his dog had been taken; seven since he'd been severely entrenched in the belief he was in danger. In that time; Tim; while maintaining most outward appearances of being okay; was frayed enough around the edges that those who knew him well; knew he was in serious trouble and it wasn't getting any better. It was truely a wonder that he had the energy to even stand on his own two feet. But, once again; thier Probie was proving himself to be quiet the weeble wobble; no matter how many times you knock them over; they just keep coming back up.

Hating this feeling; that he was putting the team on edge; needing a break; Tim finally decided he couldn't carry on like this alone for another minute. He'd tried to be strong and he'd failed. Making the decision; had been extremely difficult; but he needed to finally let Gibbs in on what he'd been struggling with and getting angrier and angrier about all week; Leaving his list on Gibbs' desk; upside down; he quietly left the squad room; with a purpose in mind. Tim made his way to the gym; while waiting for Gibbs to get done up in the director's office. Once in the gym; Tim quickly put on the gloves and began to attack the bag. Finding it strangely soothing; Tim continued to assault the bag. There were no tears; just anger; hot; boiling; raging anger; whatever else drove his punches; remained nameless and unfocused on. The more he let out; the more he felt; like it was unquenchable. After a while; he lost track of how long he'd been at it.

A short ten minutes after Tim left the squad room; Gibbs returned from the Director's Office. She had been concerned about McGee; wanting to give him some leave time. Gibbs had been quick to point out that he was safer here; where he could also contribute to the case work. Anything else would seem like discipline to the young man. That was one thing he hadn't earned. The Director agreed to continue to keep the situation within Gibbs' judgement and supervision.

Seeing the overturned paper on his desk; and Tim's desk presently empty; Gibbs' gut churned with the feeling that something was wrong. Quickly he picked up the paper and looked at it. Apparently Tim had put together a list of additional suspects who might be after him; each of them on a much more personal level than any of those on the initial list; Gibbs now realized what had been keeping his youngest agent so quietly angry all week. He knew that Tim was carrying around a surplus of guilt and other emotions that could quickly bury him and send him over the edge; unless something was done to keep him grounded. Glancing down at the list again; he frowned.

Tim had added a lot of names:

* * *

Joshua Fox's family  
Lt. Commander Voss's family  
Chaplain Brett Evans' family  
Erin Kendall's Family  
Sgt. Benedict's family  
Sgt. Archer's family  
Ceasar Bernal's family or gang members  
Petty Officer Darren Cove's family  
Adrian Corbett's family  
Any follower of Sharif  
Anyone who wanted ARES  
Anyone in Ari's terrorist cell  
Petty Officer Barbara Swain (She was suffering from Stockholm syndrome)  
Jeremy Cooper (a.k.a. Jeremy Davison)  
Michelle Cooper (a.k.a Michelle Davison)  
Park Ranger James Landis  
Rico Caldas  
Jonathan Chow  
Milos Suskavcevic

* * *

Seeing these names; knowing the reason behind Tim including them in the list of possibilities of the ever-growing list of who might be after him; made Gibbs' gut clench and his heart ache for the young man. The fact that Tim had been pulling this list together; in what spare time he had while working current cases; showcased just how upset the young man really was; although he had done a bang-up job of remaining under control; to the best of his ability.

"Tony." Gibbs tense tone caused Tony's alarm bell to go off; as he raised his eyes to meet those of his boss; Gibbs offered him Tim's list. As Tony read the list; his anger grew with each name he read on there. But, more than that; his heart ached for his Probie more with every name the poor guy had felt led to put on that list. This was an inside view of the true heart of their lion; "Tim McGee". He still wore the guilt of cases that hadn't gone well; like his shirt; everyday; all day.

After a time in which both men were silently thinking back to the cases who's names were in front of them; Gibbs finally broke the silence.

"You and Ziva run down this list; the way we started to do the other one; In. Your. Spare. Time." Gibbs carefully instructed. "As a matter of fact; you're officially off the clock for today; both of you.! Take it down to Abby and get her to help you work on both lists." Gibbs rewarded; knowing they understood what was expected of them during this unusual free time.

"On it, Boss!" Tony was determined; that if Tim was this convinced he was in danger; he wasn't gonna have to face it or even research who was behind it; alone. "Where is he, Boss?" Tony asked in concern. Tony hadn't missed the fact that several people on the list were actually there because of the possibility that this was purely retaliatory. Possibly against any one of them in general but targeting Tim because he was known to be the least likely to be able to handle stuff like this.

Even Trent Kort's name had been quick to show up. They all knew how much he hated team Gibbs; but short of knowing Tim's technilogical brilliance was the reason they'd been able to bust up the ARES mess; the only reason Tony could think of for that sob's name to show up; and be left on the list; was because he hated the team and no one trusted him not to do something like this; or be behind something like this anyway.

"I'll find him, Tony. I'll let you know. Go on, you and Ziva get with Abby and get started on that list." Gibbs quietly directed. Turning on his heels; he left the squad room in search of his missing agent.

Tim was still attacking the bag almost 20 minutes after he'd started; when Gibbs found him; exhausted and ready to drop as he stumbled and almost fell with each new swing at the bag. He wasn't ready to stop. He could still feel the "out of control" feeling churning in his gut. Tim wanted it gone. He was sick and tired of being under someone else's control; especially when that someone was only a shadow lurking in his life.

Silently, Gibbs walked up to him and taking him by the arm; propelled him to the bench. Once he'd gotten Tim to sit still for a minute; Gibbs took the gloves off of his agent in complete silence. There wasn't anything to say that would make either of them not realize what had driven Tim to this point. Gibbs could only hope that this had been enough of a release for the young man; that they'd get to see some of the "old" Tim again.

Tim felt all of the fight and anger leave him. Like the tide; on its' way back out to sea. Feeling empty and scared; and out of sorts; Tim just sat there; as Gibbs silently pulled the gloves off his hands. For a long, painfully silent minute; Gibbs just looked at Tim; who wouldn't pick his eyes up off the ground. Finally, Gibbs moved his hands into Tim's field of vision and offered him the bottle of water and the towel he'd brought from the break area.

"Thanks, Boss." Tim quietly acknowledged his boss' efforts with his typical good manners.

"Done?" Gibbs wanted to know?

"I'm not sure." Tim honestly admitted.

"What are you strifing for, here?" Gibbs wondered.

"A clear head would be nice." Tim admitted wryly.

"Not gonna find it this way." Gibbs advised quietly; knowing it wouldn't happen this way; no matter how long the kid stayed at it.

"No. I should've known better." Tim said miserably.

"Well, yeah, Tim; you should know that this is not the way to clear your head. You haven't been eating enough to keep a bee alive. You haven't been sleeping as well as you should be, you're only hurting yourself going this route when you aren't physically fit enough to do this." Gibbs quietly advised him. "Be honest; you didn't come down here to clear your head, did you?" Gibbs honest reasoning opened Tim's eyes to just how much Gibbs really did see without being told. When he was allowed in; Gibbs was even more helpful than his agents gave him credit for

"No. I thought I could get rid of everything." Tim answered honestly; wanting to leave the explanation there; while wanting to let Gibbs in.

"Tim; when you carry the burden of guilt and blame for as long as you have; for as many cases as you apparently do; and as quietly as you have; you can't expect it to be let out this easy. It's a great place to start; but don' t set yourself up for expectations you can't meet." .

"You saw the list." Tim stated; his tone sounding suspisciously like he was scared of Gibbs' reaction.

"Pretty impressive memory you got there. You're reaching too far to find the answers; but until this is resolved; I'm not gonna rule anyone out. However; I do not want you spending the entire weekend on this; do you hear me? I want you to spend the rest of the weekend at Tony's. You two can play video games or watch movies into oblivion. I want you to focus on anything other than this case!" Gibbs ordered. "You are to eat well and sleep when you can; and let Tony keep an eye on things for you. Ducky will check up on you."

_You're kicking me out_. Tim thought to himself dejectedly. _"Ducky's gonna check up on me; not you? What, all of a sudden, I'm too much of a bother?_

"McGee! If you were in top form right now; I'd head slap you for thinking like that! I want you at Tony's for several reasons. Tony can be your protection detail at the same time he can keep your mind occupied on those video games or movies or whatnot. You need to be somewhere different than you've been to give you some fresh perspective and a breather from being at my house; where whoever it is; knows you've been staying." Gibbs tone clearly let it be known that he could tell exactly how Tim had taken the changing of the guard. "You know damn well that Ducky needs to check up on you; at least until you start eating and sleeping right. On second thought; just go home with Ducky." Gibbs directed.

"I think Tony's would work out better for everyone, Boss." Tim admitted with much reserve. Somehow; the idea of being at Tony's was kicking up the sense of not being as safe as he had been under Gibbs locked house and close eye.

"You know Tony's more than capable of protecting you" Again, Gibbs seemed to be reading his mind. "Besides; I'm only a phone call away; if things get hinky, McGee." Feeling frustrated and confused about McGee's obvious reluctance to feel safe around anyone but him; Gibbs compromised with the reminder of the phone.

"I know, Boss." Tim admitted quietly. From now on; he'd keep his insecurity more tightly under wraps. Gibbs obviously didn't understand why one of his agents only felt completely safe under their Team Leader's watch. The years of experience and his famous gut instincts went a long way in making a person feel safe. There was no slight intended against Tony's abilities. But, Tim couldn't help how he felt. He resolved to work on this; especially while under Tony's roof.

"Come on- go take a shower and meet us back in the squad room in 20." Gibbs instructed as he helped him back up to his feet.

Gibbs hadn't missed the despair lurking in Tim's eyes. The fear mixed in there hadn't been missed either. It was frustrating; there was only so much Gibbs could do. His gut was telling him to put Tim somewhere different than the boss' house for the weekend; since his house had been targeted. Hopefully; however it was; wouldn't be able to keep up with the team's shuffling Tim around.

* * *

Twenty minutes later found Tim walking back into an eerily silent squad room; to be met with his entire team literally waiting on his arrival. Even Ducky and Abby were waiting so they could all walk out together; a unified front for all the world to see. More of not taking any chances with any of their safety; than about making a statement to whoever may possibly be watching; Gibbs could only hope it wouldn't do anything to make the situation worse. He was thankful that Palmer wasn't here today; and that a cursory check had verified that the young man was safely ensconced within the bosom of his family. When Ducky had called to check on him; he'd instructed the young man to stay there for at least another week; both for his own safety and for the peace of mind it would give the team; to know that at least one of them was safely out of reach.

As a convoy; leaving the navy yard; they actually looked quite official. They met at a local pub for dinner before heading back out. Tim had actually managed to eat a few bites of dinner. Gibbs and Ducky had both smiled at that piece of good news. Their smiles were short-lived however; when it soon became apparent that the young man looked like he was going to be sick to his stomach. Thankfully, it had been taken care of by the ever observant waitress who brought him a glass of milk to steady his stomach. After the close call; they all settled down to enjoy the rest of their dinner.

As the convoy got to Tony's apartment after dinner; all of them got out together and trekked up to Tony's apartment. Once they'd determined that they would be fine here; Gibbs, Ducky, Ziva and Abby left Tony and Tim to it. Settling in for a long two days of he didn't know what; Tim surprisingly enough; soon fell asleep on Tony's couch. Tony had been quiet; not near as talkative as he normally was; and Tim had actually missed Tony's banter.

Tony watched his team mate fall asleep to the monotonous tones of the television. He'd been angry when Gibbs had first assigned weekend protection duty to him. When Gibbs had told him in confidence that his teammate did not feel safe anywhere at the moment; except at NCIS; Tony's anger had fizzled out and he took a new attitude on about the assignment. Especially when Ducky reminded him how badly Tim needed to eat and sleep without being stressed out about anything. The final straw in Tony's determination had been Gibbs' questioning glare. The rest of the team had joined their fearless leader in their own silent question that mimicked Gibbs' The silent dare of whether or not Tony was up to the challenge; coming from everyone; even Ducky; had been more than enough to get Tony's dogged determination off to the right start. Damn it! He would show his probie; hell; he'd show the whole team; that Tim was safe.

Tim McGee was in Tony DiNozzo's capable hands!


	7. Wake Me Up!

By the end of the weekend; Tim had to admit; Tony had done a great job. Between the movies; the computer games; the video games; and the engaging banter about all three forms of entertainment; the bullying him into eating and sleeping; Tim actually felt better. What's more; he'd managed to stop actively worrying about his safety. Tim finally felt almost completely safe there; the fact that he didn't feel the completeness of safety; was not Tony's fault. Tim refused to let Tony see any doubt in his ability to keep him safe.

Gibbs and Ducky had called several times each day; but had not physically gone to Tony's apartment. It had been declared off limits; in an effort to minimize letting anyone possibly watching; where Tim was. While Tim understood the situation; he was still slightly uneasy about the no actual physical checking in between him and Gibbs; in person. Remembering that Gibbs was handling it the way he thought was best; kept Tim from thinking too negatively about it. He knew he was being looked after; on all levels; so he took advantage of it and gave in to the attention and the relaxation.

Apparently, it worked. Tim; much rested and much better fed; made his way to work with Tony as his driver; in much better spirits than he had been since this whole nightmare had started. Here it was, Monday morning; a full ten days since this whole situation had erupted; and things almost felt normal. Unless, of course; you counted the fact that Tim hadn't been home to his apartment in those ten days; with the exception; of course; of when the team escorted him home to get his things; and interview his neighbors. Tim was actually smiling this morning! And, he'd expressly thanked Tony repeatedly for all of his efforts and dedication over the couse of the weekend. Tony felt both vindicated and relieved.

The work day passed pleasantly; the banter and jovial atmosphere; long absent in the last 2 weeks; was now welcome; even by Gibbs. He couldn't help but smile through it all. His agents needed this. He even encouraged Abby to spend some time upstairs with the team; as this had affected her as well. Gibbs called Ducky; asking him to peek in and give an assessment on Tim; in his professional opinion.

Ducky told Gibbs that Timothy seemed very well on the way to climbing his way out of the nightmare he'd been drug down into. He advised that it was too early to cut him loose; just yet; but things were looking up for the young man. Whatever Tony had done; had worked and worked well. Gibbs felt a wave of relief wash over him; as he watched his team re-knit the fabric of their unity. While the last two weeks had seriously hurt the team; it hadn't weakened their sense of being there for each other; but this was most helpful; nonetheless.

When Five O'Clock came with no active case on their plates; Gibbs sent them all home; once again, planning on taking Tim home with him. Warning them all to still remain on their guards; he advised them to enjoy their evening. Everyone was in much better spirits as they left. Jenny watched from the balcony above them. Catching Gibbs' eye; she motioned for him to come see her. Tim; seeing this silent conversation; went back to his desk and got busy doing something.

Gibbs watched him for a minute before he turned and headed up the stairs to talk to Jenny.

"Jethro, everyone seems to be back to normal." Jenny observed.

"For the moment, Jen."

"They got pretty loud in here today." Jenny admonished.

"Jen, after the two weeks they've just been through; they needed it; and you know it." Gibbs was quick to put out there.

"Okay. I'll give you that. This time. Let's reign them in from here on, shall we?" Jenny advised in that no nonsense tone of hers that he hated so much.

"Is that all?" Gibbs asked testily.

"Yes, Jethro. Have a good night." Jenny turned and walked back to her office without a backward glance.

Expelling a sigh of aggravation at her pickiness; Gibbs turned and headed back down the stairs; more than ready to call it a night. Looking over at Tim's desk; he was surprised to find the young man engrossed in something. That is; until he walked up behind him and realized what it was Tim was so deeply engrossed in. The list. Knowing that Tim needed to work on this to find the answer he so desperately needed. Gibbs bit the bullet and made a suggestion.

"Tim; why don't you print that out and bring a copy of it home with us. We can go over it again." Gibbs quietly suggested.

Tim jumped; guilty that he'd been so engrossed he hadn' heard Gibbs come back to his desk; or even sensed him standing behind him. That wasn't good. He should never allow himself to be caught that unaware; especially given the current situation.

"Thanks, Boss."

_*smack*_

"Thanks Boss, what was that for?" Tim asked; secretly pleased that Gibbs once again had found reason to physically remind of something he'd done wrong.

"Don't ever get that caught up in something that you can't hear someone walk up behind you like that!" Gibbs strongly admonished him.

"I know, Boss; it was careless of me. It won't happen again." Tim promised quietly with conviction.

"Come on, Let's get outta here." Gibbs encouraged; not wanting to dwell on the situation; and in a hurry to get moving.

Once ensconced inside Gibbs' kitchen; they both looked at the list of suspects and the information that had been pulled together for them. Half of the people on the list had been excluded; either due to the fact that they were still behind bars; had died; or didn't bear the grudge they'd been credited with. There other half of the names on the list; still needed to be verified; as to their whereabouts and all that good stuff.

Hearing a noise out in the backyard; Tim shot up out of his chair; his hand reaching for his weapon as he raced for the french doors. Gibbs stopped him cold. "McGee! Don't"

Edging out around him and quietly opening the doors; Gibbs stepped out onto his back porch; shining his flashlight out into the yard in sweeping motions; as Tim stood in the doorway and did the same thing with his own flashlight; in a sweeping path that supported Gibbs' beam. In a heart stopping moment; they both saw the same thing; at the same time; the open back gate; and just inside that gate; the still body of one heartbreakingly familiar four legged creature.

Instantly, Gibbs put a firm hand on his moving agent's arm and told him to get back in the house and call Ducky and Tony. His tone booked no argument. Tim fought the immediate urge to argue and fight the order; Gibbs knew the conflict that was going on and rushed to head it off at the pass. "Tim! Stay in the house until reinforcements get here; these bastards are probably still out there!" Gibbs deliberately kept his tone quiet; as he didn't want it carrying across the yard. He back pedalled and once inside the house; he pointed Tim to the kitchen;

"Go, make the calls. NOW! Tell Tony to call Ziva and tell him to bring Abby! Tell him not to tell Abby anything until they get here"

Gibbs, himself; called the local L.E.O.'s and Jenny.

The local cops were on their way and Jenny was unhappily on her way; too. Gibbs hadn't told her anything other than she needed to get to his house immediately.

Soon enough; Gibbs' house was overflowing with local police officers. Tim escaped to the basement; almost unseen. Gibbs watched him go; letting him have his escape. The poor kid hadn't even gotten to see his dog upclose; it had been too risky. Whoever these bastards were; had probably counted on Tim rushing out to the body of his dog; and probably intent on nabbing his agent at that point. Gibbs was more than happy to have kept that from happening.

Upon seeing Ducky arrive; he pulled the M.E. aside and explained the situation to him. Ducky's face showed the instant sorrow and pain he felt for both Timothy and Abby; as well as for Jethro; both the Senior agent and his namesake. Silently searching for his now missing agent; Gibbs pointed Ducky toward the basement; knowing the M.E. was probably the best person to be keeping the young man company at the moment. Ducky nodded his head in silent understanding. Patting Gibbs on the shoulder in compassion; he headed down to the basement to look after Timothy. Gibbs took the moment of silence to send up a silent prayer of thanks that Tim would not have to suffer through this alone while Gibbs took care of the rest of the ordeal up here.

Ziva, Tony and Abby; who were surprisingly enough; all eating dinner together; arrived quickly; as quickly as Jenny. They all immediately surrounded Gibbs. Oddly enough; none of them were speaking. Since Tim wasn't present in the room; they knew something was horribly wrong. "Let the LEO's secure the yard first; then we'll investigate." Gibbs ordered the soon ansty group. Abby was the first to break the silence.

**"Gibbs! Where is Timmy? What's happened to him?"** Abby was shouting now; Gibbs' non-disclosure driving her fear for her beloved Timmy through the roof.

**"Abby, Calm down**! He's safe. But you are _not_ helping anyone by losing it!" Gibbs reassured her; while not letting her in on where the young man currently was. Even with everything on his plate right now; Gibbs had enough sense of what his targeted agent needed to stay together through this. Right now; that need included the quiet retreat he'd taken of his own accord. Gibbs would do his best to see that he got it.

**"Gibbs! Where is he?"** Abby demanded.

"Abby! He's where he needs to be right now; trying to come to grips with this. Ducky's with him. You. Need. To. Calm. Down. " Gibbs' tone booked no argument.

"What happened? Why are we here?" Abby persisted. Now, even Ziva, Tony and Jen were looking quite upset.

"Tim and I were sitting in the kitchen talking when he heard a loud noise and jumped up; even immediately went for his weapon." Gibbs explained.; looking straight at Jen.

"You didn't let him...." Abby started Ziva and Jenny even looked alarmed. Tony knew better. He simply wore the look of someone who knew whatever had happened had not been Gibbs' fault. He knew without a shadow of a doubt; Gibbs would never have allowed Tim to put himself in danger. Abby should have known better than to even have to ask that. Tony almost wanted to reach out and "Gibbs' slap" her, He somehow managed to restrain himself; knowing that Gibbs would slap him for real; if he had gone through with it.

Gibbs glared at Abby in anger at her lack of faith; before turning his attention and his answer back to Jenny " I stopped him and took the first steps out onto the back porch. We both swept the yard with our flashlights; from the porch. After we saw what those bastards wanted us to see; I made Tim come back inside and make the calls to Ducky and Tony."

Jenny silently nodded her head as the local leo head hauncho headed back up Gibbs' back porch steps; back into the house. Gibbs and Jenny quickly left the group and moved to pull the man aside; not wanting whatever he had to say; to be heard by his other team members yet. Most especially, Abby.

"Agent Gibbs; you were right. The dog is dead. It is a german shepard. Your back gate was still open; and there are fresh tire tracks in front of your house. It's a good thing neither you nor your agent investigated this before calling backup!"

Sgt. Lopez; I'm not a rookie. I know the ins and outs of crime scene safety!" Gibbs bit out; pissed at this man's wasting time on this subject. "IS my yard secure yet?"

"Yes, Sir." the Sgt answered; confused at the Agent's anger; seemingly directed at him.

"How did you determine that the dog is dead?" Gibbs wanted to know.

"I put my hand on him; there's no breathing."

"What else do you need to do here? Gibbs asked

"We just need to interview your neighbors and your agent."

"Thank you." Gibbs answered; whipping out his cell phone. "Duck, how is he?"

"Beside himself, Jethro. I can't get anything out of him; except the repeated belief that this is his fault."

"Yeah, well, we knew that was comin, Duck. I need you both up here. Let him know he'll have to give his statement to the police; find out if he's up to it. Oh, and Duck; none of the rest of the team have been told yet. I want you to verify it first."

"Understood, Jethro." Ducky answerede. "We'll be right up.

"My agent will be here momentarily." Gibbs assurred the man. "In the meantime; I need your men to keep their mouths shut. As I just told my M.E.; my team has not yet been notified why they're here and I don't want them hearing it from your guys. I need them to hear it from my M.E." Gibbs sternly requested as Jenny silently let him handle it; knowing it would be the only way he could deal with the situation effectively.

"Yeah. Ok. Sure; Agent Gibbs." The Sgt. silently stood; waiting for the appearance of the Agent he needed to talk to. This whole situation was very unsettling to the poor metro cop. He'd never seen anything like this before. He definitely felt in over his head.

"Abby, come here." Gibbs softly ordered; wanting her away from where she could see the kitchen; so she would not have the insight into Tim's escape; and also so he could keep her near Ducky. She was going to need the M.E.'s support when she got told the news.

"Gibbs?" Abby asked; her voice full of confusion and fear.

"Ducky will be here to check things over in a minute; I want you to talk to him as soon as he comes back in the house.

"Gibbs? Ducky? Someone's dead?" Abby's voice was rising in hysteria.

"Don't rush to judgement, my dear." Ducky's calming voice broke through the volume in her voice; from behind her.

"Oh, Ducky!" Abby turned and threw herself into the M.E.'s arms; not even seeing Tim standing behind him. Silently. Stiffly. Lost. Broken. Shattered.

It took every ounce of restraint Gibbs had; not to let the parental urge to comfort the young man lose; to wrap him in an embrace that would ground him to humanity through the brutality of this nightmare. But in the face of all these people presently witness to what he was going through; Gibbs knew that Tim would hate it. Instead, the Senior Agent did what he knew needed to be done; kept things moving along; so things could be taken care of as quickly as possible.

The rest of the team had not failed to see them come from the basement; nor had they missed the state Tim was in. Automatedly following Ducky up the stairs and through the kitchen; to the living room; stopping next to Gibbs. It was such a stark contrast to the happy and relaxed teammate they'd left in the squad room just a few short hours ago; it was certainly heartbreaking. Tony, Ziva and even Jenny; knew that Gibbs had this under control. They also knew, without a shadow of a doubt; that whatever "this" was; was deadly serious and tragic; if Tim's state was anything to go by. And so Team Gibbs fought hard to not get in the way. They knew Gibbs would let them in before long. They watched Gibbs wage war with himself whether or not to physically reach out to Tim. Knowing, like Gibbs knew; that Tim would hate it in such a public arena; they, too; left him alone for the moment.

As Abby regained her equilibruim; she let go of Ducky and Gibbs immediately reclaimed her shoulder with his arm; not wanting her to go anywhere until she heard the truth from the M.E. Keeping his arm around Abby's shoulder to keep her in place; Gibbs quietly turned his attention toward the rest of them; nodding Ducky out to the backyard. "Tony, Ziva; go with Ducky. Stay sharp!" Gibbs ordered. "Sgt. how many men you still have out there?"

"Half a dozen. I'll have them watching your team's back." the Sgt promised; already knowing where the Agent was headed with his question.

After the Sgt made the walkie-talkie command; he turned back to Gibbs; who gestured toward Tim. It was so obvious the young man was beyond devastated; the Sgt almost didn't have the heart to question him. He decided to make it as easy on him as possible by relaying what Gibbs had told him and asked if that was Tim's statement as well. Tim silently nodded his head in agreement. When asked if there was anything else that was different or that Agent Gibbs hadn't included; Tim shook his head in a silent no. It was a short conversation, to be sure. As the Sgt. was wrapping things up and letting Gibbs know that most of the local cops would be gone in a few minutes; only a few would stay on patrol around the house.

At this point; Ducky reappeared with a very much shaken and upset Tony and Ziva in tow. Immediately the troops gathered round Gibbs and Jenny to hear the long awaited details. Gibbs silently bid Ducky to wait; as he got Abby and Tim both sitting down. Gibbs motioned for Tony and Ziva to keep a watch over both of them. Gibbs pulled Ducky aside; along with Jenny. "Anything I need to know that they don't? Gibbs asked tersely; knowing Ducky would more than understand him letting some of his anger out.

"This was underneath the body, Jethro." Ducky stated in barely controlled rage; as he handed Gibbs a folded piece of paper; holding it in a gloved hand; open so Gibbs could read it. In his other hand, Ducky held an evidence bag; to use for the note.

_"You're next. We'll take good care of you just like we did your precious dog!"_

Gibbs swore under his breath. "Did Tony and Ziva see this?" Gibbs asked angrily.

Ducky shook his head. "No. They were standing guard; not processing the scene, Jethro." Ducky quietly told him

As soon as she finished reading the note; Jenny looked up at Gibbs; who was so far beyond pissed; he almost couldn't see straight. He looked at her with his silent "gonna take this seriously now?" glare. She silently nodded; tears in her eyes; as she stepped out of earshot and brought her cell phone out; to start making phone calls.

Gibbs turned to the Sgt. "Sgt. We'll need copies of everything; since this is targeted at a Federal Agent; it will be our Agency's case." Gibbs quietly explained. His anger so far gone; he only had steel left to speak with.

"Certainly, Agent Gibbs." The note, found under the dog's body had scared him to death. Better for the Feds to handle it from here. He couldn't help but feel for the targeted agent; though.

"Duck, we need to tell Abby." Gibbs' heart broke at the thought.

Abby had pretty much figured things out; after putting all the pieces together; that were in front of her. **"Gibbs, why would they kill Jethro?"** she screamed in pure unadulterated fury; with tears streaming down her face.

Her scream catapaulted Tim out of his chair; unable to take it any more; he took off like a shot; upstairs. As his team moved to follow him; Gibbs froze them all with a single command.

**"NO!"**

"Gibbs!" Multiple complaints offended his ears at once. He let them all have their say; for a whole 20 seconds.

**"Hey! All of you; stop!"** Gibbs let his anger show. They knew he wasn't angry at them. But they also knew that he wouldn't tolorate not being listened to.

"Let him go. He's not ready to talk." Ducky wisely advised

"When and only when you are able to be there for him; as well as let him be there for you; then you can try." Gibbs chimed in. "You've barely had time to process this for yourselves. Take some time to process it all in."

"Tony, Ziva. we need to concentrate on the case. On the kitchen table; you'll find the list Tim and I were discussing earlier. Go take a crack at it. Tim's laptop is in the dining room; if you need it." Gibbs directed; his tone still laced with pure anger. He handed Tony the note found planted under Jethro's body. He watched as both his agents reacted with white hot anger at the now credible threat to their teammate.

As Abby came to look over their shoulders; all color left her face. Ducky quickly sat her down and worked at calming her down. When that had been accomplished; as she had given in to her overwrought emotions and curled up in a ball; crying it all out; Gibbs sat down with her; letting her know she wasn't alone.

"Jethro, I want to check on Timothy." Ducky insisted; obviously very upset. Now that Gibbs had Abby under control; he was needed elsewhere.

"Yeah, Duck; that's probably a good idea." Gibbs quietly admitted from his seat on the couch; his eyes not leaving Abby.

Ducky found Timothy in Gibbs' master bathroom; staring at a razor currently in his hand; like it was his new best friend.

"Timothy; there is no reason to think about doing anything so permanent or hurtful to yourself." Ducky implored the young man.

Silence. Tim was so distraught; he couldn't even reach through his fog to answer Ducky's plea that he think of some other answer to his pain.

Ducky carefully stepped back out of the bathroom; took two steps out to the hallway and hit the speed dial for Jethro.

"Duck what's wrong?" Gibbs' gut clenched. Ducky never felt the need to call him from within the same house. He started moving toward the stairs before Ducky even answered him.

_"Your bathroom. Now!"_ Ducky hung up. He felt overwhelmed at the possibility of this young man hurting himself on top of this devastion he'd just been handed. Ducky knew Gibbs needed to help this agent find his way out of this darkness; immediately.

Upon arriving at the doorway of his master bathroom; Gibbs felt his heart stop. There; staring at himself in the mirror; was one distraught agent; so lost in his despair; he wasn't hearing Ducky speak to him; and wasn't seeing past the razor in his hand; held out in front of him; like he was trying to decide whether or not to drop it in the sink. Apparently Ducky had been unable to get him to let go of it.

Gibbs reacted without thinking; his fear directing his near knee-jerk reaction. **"MCGEE!"**

Tim's eyes snapped to awareness; and the razor fell into the sink; where Ducky quickly snatched it up and flung it into the shower. Finding Gibbs' eyes in the mirror; Tim's own eyes; full of every emotion concievable under the circumstances; almost begged Gibbs for an out. And although it broke their hearts to see that much pain and despair in his eyes; the fact that he was back with them had Gibbs and Ducky both breathing a sigh of relief. They silently guided the young man out of the bathroom and into the spare bedroom; where Gibbs left his agent in the care of the M.E. Ducky didn't miss the bereft look that crossed Tim's eyes as the young man watched Gibbs leave the room. There had been no more words spoken between them. Gibbs was too wrapped up in his thousands of jumbled thoughts to realize how damaging that fact could be. Ducky made a mental note to be sure and address this issue with the Senior Agent; hopefully, before Timothy woke up from what sleep Ducky was getting ready to insure the young man got.

Ducky administered a sleep aid to the young man; knowing he would need the help. Sitting down in the chair next to the bed; Ducky prepared to remain on vigil. He was relieved, surprisingly enough, by Abby; a short time later. As the Lab Rat hugged Ducky; he felt her pain; both for the loss of the dog as well as for her fellow agent and friend. Watching her lie down with Tim; in hopes of keeping him company; Ducky felt better about the possibility that the young man would be able to sleep through the night. Once they were both soundly sleeping; Ducky took the time to go down and talk with Jethro.

Gibbs; deeply shaken at the depth of Tim's despair; vowed not to let that kid out of sight; someone would be with him at all times until they were sure he was back on track; and they knew for sure that he was no longer a danger to himself. Grief could do that to a person; Gibbs knew that better than anyone; but he also knew; that this was more than grief. This was grief compounded with Tim's deep-seated conviction; now backed up with a written threat; that he was their next victim. Gibbs should have known this could happen. He should have seen this possibility coming. Damn it, he'd missed it; and at what cost?

Going downstairs; Gibbs immediately sought out Jenny; still in the midst of making phone calls. Upon seeing him; she stopped dialing and waited; obviously keyed in to the fact that he needed to talk to her.

"Jethro? How is he?" She asked him in concern.

"Convinced more than he was a week ago; that he's next! So much so, that Ducky found him staring at my razor like it was his new best friend!** I want him put under a protection detail! These bastards are NOT gonna get him!"** Gibbs anger reverberated through his study in full force. **"I am NOT gonna let him give up this fight like this!"**

"Jethro, we'll keep him safe." Jenny promised.; trying to calm him. She'd rarely seen him this angry and wasn't quite sure what to do for him.

**"You gonna keep him safe from himself? Right now, he's so distraught; he'd rather end his own life than be a sitting duck for going out the way the dog did, Jen!"** at this point; Gibbs obviously didn't care how much anger he let out; since he wasn't directing at anyone inparticular; and all the L.E.O.'s were gone.

"No. Right now, he's sleeping; with Abby keeping him company, Jethro." Ducky informed him calmly from the doorway.

**"Tony! Get up there and keep an eye on him!"** Gibbs roared. He hated that Ducky had left Tim without someone who could stand up to him and keep him from doing something stupid. Abby was no match for Tim when he was in this state. He glared at the M.E.

Tony jumped out of his chair and ran up to the guest bedroom. Breathing a sigh of relief; he quickly called Gibbs to calm his royally pissed off boss; letting him know that the two sleeping beauties were in fact; still sleeping. Tony had never heard Gibbs so pissed; as he had downstairs just now. But the senior field agent knew that Gibbs roar had been much more fear than it had been anger. Gibbs instructed Tony over the phone, now; to remove any and all potentially harmful items from both bathrooms, ASAP. Not having been privy to whatever it was that had Gibbs racing up his stairs earlier; he certainly got the gist of it now; like a punch in the gut; with these instructions.

Ducky and Jenny had been shocked to their toes when Gibbs had roared at Tony from almost across the entire house that way. But, then again; Gibbs had just informed them of Tim's current state of mind; so for Gibbs to be afraid the young man would do something drastic to himself; was not farfetched. Seeing Gibbs react in such an unrestrained manner was what was seriously shocking. When Tony called Gibbs and soothed his pissed off boss by letting him know Abby and Tim were in fact still sleeping peacefully; Gibbs; after telling Tony to remove any and all potentially harmful items from both bathrooms; actually calmed himself down just enough to go in search of a fresh cup of coffee.

Forcing himself to calm down took some serious doing and several cups of coffee. And surprisingly enough; a talk with Ziva helped considerably. Haven taken himself to the basement to regroup and regain his inner control; Gibbs had been irritated when Ziva had intruded into his inner santum some ten minutes later; where normally; he didn't mind his agents finding him. But, then again; it was usually his agents who needed him when they sought him out down here. Right now; the only agent that needed him; was peacefully asleep.

"Gibbs." Ziva approached respectfully cautious

"Ziva." Gibbs answered; not bothering to mask the negative emotion in his voice. He no longer cared who heard it or witnessed it; so long as it wasn't Tim or Abby. The rest of them could just deal with it.

"Gibbs, he will not harm himself; so long as he knows we are there for him." Ziva told him with conviction. "You've already taken care of that. When you snapped him back in your normal way; you got him back. He will be fine; so long as he understands that you are here for him." Ziva obviously believed what she was saying. "Your voice carries well in your house, Gibbs." Ziva explained with no trace of laughter; before he could ask.

She found no room for humor at the present time. She realized how truly frightened Gibbs was; at the many threats to their youngest field agent; from so many different angles at the same time; it was daunting; to say the least. Ziva, herself felt very concerned. Her white hot anger at the deliberate and brutal crime against her friends and teammate had her barely holding on to her rationale at the moment.

"We will not let anything happen to him physically, Gibbs. But I fear what we cannot help with; is where he is in the most danger." Ziva reasoned before she turned on her heels and walked back upstairs.

"She's right." Ducky told him from halfway down the stairs.

"I know, Duck." Gibbs admitted. **"These bastards won't be stopped until they get caught or get what they're after!"** Gibbs exclaimed in anger "**It's not helping that they're tearing him apart without even laying a hand on him!"**

"Jethro; I fear; you've compounded Timothy's mental anquish; yourself." Ducky admonished carefully.

"How, Duck?" Gibbs asked cautiously; knowing Ducky wouldn't have said without just cause.

"Jethro, from the moment you called him back out of the fog he was in; he looked to you for help. And while you helped him to get away from the room he was thinking of hurting himself in; you did not give him the help he was asking you for."

**"Duck, he was begging me to let him end his life! Tell me you saw that!"** Gibbs exploded; his anger getting away from him; yet again.

"Yes, Jethro; I did see that; but I also saw a young man that would have been satisfied with a reassuring word from the person he looks up to the most in this world. Instead, he got what he considered to be the silent treatment and then he got put off on someone else. Jethro; if you had bothered to look at him before you walked out of that bedroom; you would have seen it; as clear as day."

**"Oh, jeez, Ducky! You think I don't know how devastated he is? You think I want him to believe that I don't care about what he's going through? He needs us to be tough; even while we're there for him, Duck! These bastards are trying to beat him down; and they haven't even gotten ahold of him yet! And, they're winning, Duck! They almost won! If you hadn't checked on him when you did; we may have been planning his funeral right now; instead of worrying about where he's at in his head! I want him to stay sharp so he'll stay safe! Think that's gonna happen now? Not likely! The more he lets this defeat him; the bigger target he becomes!"**

_"The young man hasn't even had the chance to grieve his beloved pet, Jethro!"_ while Ducky's voice had risen; it was no where the volume that Gibbs' had risen to. "_And we all know how much he blamed himself that Jethro got taken in the first place. It's unsurmountable; the amount of blame he'll be feeling now!"_

**"Ducky; I'm not that heartless! I'm not expecting him to bounce back right this second! But; I'm not gonna let him get buried under this!**

_"How will you stop that from happening unless you talk to him?"_ Ducky reasoned; bringing the conversation back to his original point.

Upstairs, Ziva, Jenny; and even Abby; now awake; all listened from the dining room as Gibbs raged at Ducky. Tony heard it from the guest bedroom. Unbeknownst to the rest of the team; Tim; awakened to the raging anger reverberating through the normally quiet house; also heard it. Gibbs had never; _ever;_ been so angry; especially at him. As he listened to his boss' rage and remembered the look on Gibbs' face as he walked away from him earlier; after calling him back out of the fog; Tim knew he'd let Gibbs down so severely; he'd screwed up in a huge way. And now, his dog had been killed; as a warning that he was next. So, now, Abby must hate him, too. What the hell was the point? He might as well just let whoever it was behind this; have at him; save the rest of the team the trouble of going through anymore of this. Knowing he wasn't alone in the room didn't stop his tears from flowing; no matter how hard he tried. As each progressively negative thought passed through his overwrought brain; Tim's tears increased until he was sobbing with them.

Tony, whose attention was snapped back to the bed; immediately; called Gibbs' cell.

**"WHAT?"** Gibbs snapped.

"We can _ALL_ hear you and _SOME_ of us are taking your anger _EXTREMELY_ personally." Tony advised as cryptically as possible; as he put the phone away from his ear so Gibbs could hear Tim's anquish himself.. Tony watched Tim continue to lie there and let his pain out; seemingly unaware of Tony's phone call.

Gibbs snapped his phone shut and swore. "Duck, I'm sorry."

"Jethro, what's wrong?" Ducky asked; pointing to Gibbs' now closed phone.

"That was Tony. Apparently, my voice has carried through the house and Tim's heard it!" Gibbs angrily exclaimed; pissed at himself for letting this happen.

"Jethro. You are the one person he needs to talk to. Go." Ducky strongly advised.

"Yeah. you're right, Ducky." Gibbs admitted as he bounded up the stairs.


	8. Battoning Down The Hatches

Tony knew that only Gibbs could fix this. It was El Jefe's raging anger that had started this fire; and only his words and actions could put it out. Tony prayed that his boss was up to the monumental task. As he heard the man in question bounding up the stairs; unusually unquiet; Tony quickly made his exit; not wanting to even be a witness to the man's anger at this level.

Gibbs surprisingly enough patted Tony on the shoulder and thanked him as they passed each other in the hall.

"Tony." Gibbs stopped his fleeing Senior Field Agent; who couldn't get away fast enough.

"Boss?" Tony was forced to stop in his flight; to find out what Gibbs wanted.

"I want you to know that I appreciate what you've done for these guys. Abby and Tim. They both need us as much as we need to solve this case." Gibbs admitted.

"Yeah, Boss. I understand. On it!" Tony said with a small smile.

"Tony?" Gibbs wasn't done; another unusual occurance for him

"Boss?"

"We won't lose him." Gibbs promised; hoping Tony understood that he meant all the way around.

"I know, Boss." Tony verbalized his faith in Gibbs in that one simple answer. It brought hope.

Gibbs smiled his appreciation before turning on his heel and going into the guest bedroom and closing the door. Seeing his hurting agent; so openly lost in tears and sobbing; broke Gibbs' heart. To know that he'd brought this on; twisted the knife. Gibbs sat down on the bed; facing Tim.

"Hey." Gibbs made a stab at getting the young man's attention through his painful tears.

Instantly, Tim froze; his sobs quieting; his tears evaporating.

"Tim; look at me." Gibbs quietly instructed; knowing the young man would do as he was bid.

Surprisingly; Tim did not immediately look at his boss. Gibbs was forced to go for it again.

"Tim! Look at me; please?" Gibbs implored.

Finally, Tim felt it was safe to look at the man.

"Relax; no one is upset with you; least of all me." Gibbs tried to explain. "I know that you heard me yelling at Ducky; and I know that you heard what I said. We've all said things in anger; things that weren't meant to be a personal attack on anybody."

Tim silently nodded his agreement.

"Do you trust me to be honest with you?" Gibbs asked.

"More than anybody." Tim quietly admitted.

"Then know that I'm being honest with you right now, all right? I'm not angry with you. What you heard from downstairs was; and if you ever tell anyone I said this; I'll deny it; fear. You scared me, Tim."

Tim was confused. He didn't remember doing anything that would remotely scare this man.

"Boss, what exactly did I do?" Tim asked; fear creeping into his voice.

Alarm bells began sounding in Gibbs' head. "What's the last thing you remember before you woke up in this room, Tim?" Gibbs asked calmly but in concern.

"Abby screaming; asking why they killed Jethro." Tim admitted; tears sliding down his face; once more. Angrily, he brushed them away; pissed to be so weak in front of Gibbs.

Gibbs actually smiled. Apparently, Tim had not been aware of the danger he'd put himself in; nor the scare he'd given him and Ducky. That meant he hadn't meant to do it!

Right now; Gibbs' was more concerned about the young man's continued fight to not appear weak in front of anyone else. Apparently; he needed a strong reminder that it was okay to let go; no matter where he was; under the circumstances.

"Tim, you need to stop fighting what you're feeling; do you hear me? Stop worrying about "men don't cry"! I thought we had that all worked out already!" Gibbs softly admonished him.

"Hard habit to break, Boss. I do remember you yelling my name; but I don't remember why. I..." Tim stopped; not wanting Gibbs to hear the rest.

"Tim. when Abby screamed; you ran from the room and wound up in my bathroom. Ducky found you there staring at a razor like you had serious plans to use it. You scared Ducky and I to death! Again; if you ever repeat that; I'll deny it! Yes, I yelled at you; you were in a fog. You weren't hearing Ducky talk to you; you weren't hearing me. I did the only thing I knew of that would get a response out of you. It worked." Gibbs said most unapologetically.

"Thank you." Tim said quietly but sincerely; as he looked at Gibbs. Beyond the pain of the situation; there was hurt still lingering in those eyes. Gibbs knew the look; and he knew how it got there; why it was there. Better yet; he knew; for once; how to make it go away; thanks to the wisdom of one Medical Examiner.

"I am sorry; I didn't speak to you after we got you out of that fog; away from the bathroom. I was struggling to figure out what to do next and Ducky was here to take care of you. I by no means whatsoever; meant for you to take it that I was pissed at you, Tim! I am sorry." Gibbs quietly admitted; regret evident in his voice.

"Why wouldn't you be?" Tim asked disbelievingly; needing the explanation; yet not able to believe he wasn't truly in the wrong.

"Why would I be?" Gibbs countered; genuinely confused.

_"Boss, I brought this mess down on this team; on Abby! For all we know; we're all in danger! _

"Unless you know who's behind this and why; and didn't tell me; you need to drop the guilt trip. It's not yours to carry! We don't have time to carry excess baggage here!" Gibbs was quietly firm; his tone booking no argument or room for disobeying what was amounting to a direct order.

"Yes, Boss." Tim said meekly

"What else is on your mind?" Gibbs asked; wanting it all out at once. He knew that the coming days would be tough enough on this kid; without him carrying unresolved issues around in his head to boot.

"Abby." Tim admitted immediately; relieved to actually be able to talk about what was on his mind.

"What about, Abby?" Gibbs asked; although he had a pretty good idea of what was coming.

"How am I supposed to ever face her again?" Tim asked dejectedly _"I got her dog killed! I know she hates me now!""_ Tim's tone turned angry; obviously at himself; at what he percieved to be his responsibility; still.

"Are we going through this discussion again?" Gibbs asked; openly frustrated. His agents knew he hated having to have the same conversation more than once.

**"Boss, Jethro is dead as a message to me! They kidnapped him and killed him; just to make a point to me! Tell me how I'm supposed to live with that! How I'm supposed to work around Abby having to live with that! Have you ever heard her scream like that before? That happened because of me!"** Tim was unabashedly angry now.

"What else?" Gibbs asked' quitely unperturbed.

"What?" Tim was confused.

"What else are you pissed about? I wanna hear it!" Gibbs exclaimed; wanting to push Tim's buttons; this time knowing what to expect.

" I don't think you do." Tim admitted.

"Okay. Let me throw something out there for you to chew on. I'm pissed that the Director put your case on the back burner; not giving us the time to properly investigate this before it got to this point! That in your pile, somewhere?" Gibbs asked

"Well, yeah; that's a big part of it." Tim admitted; shocked at Gibbs admittance.

"Okay; what else?" Gibbs asked again; certain this time; that he'd earned Tim's trust in this conversation enough that the young man would let go all of it.

"Honestly, I don't know right now, Boss. "

"Meaning your mind is so wrapped up in Abby's reaction and what you think she's gonna feel; since this happened; that you can't think of anything else right now?" Gibbs wisely asked.

"Yeah." Tim admitted.

"okay, that's understandable. You and me; we good?" Gibbs asked sincerely.

Yeah. Thank you, Boss." Tim sincerely put out; genuinely grateful to be back on track with Gibbs.

"No problem. Are you hungry? Wanna come down and get something to eat?" Gibbs asked

"No, thank you; I'm not hungry."

"You hiding out or are you genuinely not hungry?" Gibbs asked.

"Both." Tim admitted.

"Well, I'm not leaving you alone; so either you come downstairs or I call one of your teammates up here to sit with you while I go check on the case," Gibbs informed him seriously.

"Boss, I'll be fine; I promse! I don't need a babysitter!" Tim tried to get out of it; genuinely confused at Gibbs' insistence that he not be left alone.

"Tim; listen to me. I know that you think you're fine. But, I'm not giving your mind the chance to let you get buried under any of this; and with your computer brain; it wouldn't take very long for that to happen without anyone around you to distract your thoughts." Gibbs explained his reason quite seriously.

"I guess I hadn't thought of that. Thanks, Boss." Tim was shocked.

"Tim; this situation with Abby? You need to just take it minute by minute; all right? Don't waste time or energy worrying about how it might go between you two. Just remember; even though this situation is targeting you; does not mean you caused it. You didn't deliberately do anything that caused any of this and that's what you need to hang on to, all right?" Gibbs reminded him

"Thanks, Boss." Tim let Gibbs' words wash over his troubled soul; letting them fill the spaces in his troubled mind; letting them fill the crevices.

"I don't know if I'm ready for this, but how bad can it be, right?" Tim half joked; turning the conversation toward the waiting group downstairs.

"Yeah, I mean they are on _your_ side, Tim." Gibbs joked back; ruffling the young man's hair as he got up off the bed; preceeding Gibbs out of the bedroom and down the stairs.

As Tim and Gibbs descended the stairs; they were greeted in turn; by; Ziva, Jenny, Tony and Ducky. The ladies took the time to wrap Tim up in a soothing hug. An unhurried hug; to show him that indeed; none of them was angry at him; in fact; they all felt for what he was going through, now; more than ever. Even Tony briefly embraced him in support. Abby was stirring a pan of food at the stove; not joining the team's efforts to let Tim see and feel their support.

Gibbs watched from the sidelines as his team rallied around their teammate; as he'd known they would, Tim had needed to physically experience thier warmth; feel their genuine sympathy; before he'd believe it for himself. Sometimes whiz kids could make life so damn difficult for themselves! Ducky was the last person in line; waiting to check Tim over; and guiding him into the kitchen as he did so; prompting the young man to sit down and eat something; as Abby set a bowl of soup in front of him. As the only one of the team to not approach Tim with any kind of response; Gibbs was not happy about it at the moment.

"Eat up, Tim; you need to keep up your strength to beat these bastards at their own game!" Abby ordered; so seriously pissed at the bad guys; she came across as pissed at the world.

Tim looked to Gibbs; as if to say, "told you" before he got busy on his soup. Gibbs smiled encouragingly at the young man before he shooed the rest of the team; minus Ducky; out of the kitchen; to leave Tim alone while he ate. Going with them into the living room; he turned to Abby with concern in his eyes and his voice.

"Abbs; I know that this is hard for you; we all know how much you loved Jethro. But..."

"But, what, Gibbs?" Abby interrupted in concern. She'd gotten the bulk of her anger and grief out already. She was actually able to think rationally at this point. For that, Gibbs was thankful. Because what he wanted to tell her was hard enough to say; he knew it would be hard for her to hear.

"You need to tell us; so that we all understand; where Tim stands with you at this point." Gibbs told her in all seriousness.

"You're serious?" Abby was surprised that Gibbs was having this conversation with her. It was so not like him.

"Abby, right now, you're all he's worried about!" Gibbs told her honestly; his tone left no room for doubt that he was frustrated at her evasiveness. He's so concerned about you right now; he hasn't even addressed how he feels it for himself."

**"What? Gibbs! Why?"** Abby was baffled.

"You're serious?" Tony jumped in; really frustrated with the Lab Rat, now. "As much as you mean to him; you have to ask?"

**"What, I don't understand why he'd be worried about me at a time like this!"** Abby exclaimed.

"Abby! You know McGee blamed himself for Jethro being taken. At the time; he was more concerned that you would blame him. Why are you acting like you don't understand that; now that Jethro has been killed; McGee would think you blame him? AND you did not hug him or even speak to him when he came downstairs. How do you think he took that?" Ziva asked; her frustration at what she percieved to be Abby's bid for extra attention; beginning to show.

Even Jenny had had enough. **"Abby! Out with it; please!"** she exlaimed; watching with a wry smile as Gibbs actually looked over at her in surprise.

"I think he's got it backwards. " Abby quietly admitted; her voice full of regret. "After all, I forced Jethro on him, didn't I? We all know he wouldn't have even had Jethro, if I hadn't pushed him into it."

"Abby, I told you; I was already planning on getting a dog; at the time." Tim's quiet reminder came from the doorway; with a watchful Ducky bringing up the rear.

"Oh, Tim!" Abby exclaimed; as she plowed through the goup to get to her best friend and hurting teammate. As they hugged and drew strength from each other; the rest of the team left them in peace; with the exception of propelling the hugging duo away from the living room and into the security of the interior of the house.

Relieved that this problem had been resolved; Gibbs turned his attention to the rest of his team. He thought seriously of asking what they'd found within the lists of names; but; upon seeing their exhaustion; written on their faces; he decided they needed to go home and sleep. They would be better prepared to solve this as well rested agents; not bedraggled and exhausted.

"Go home! In pairs!" Gibbs ordered.

No one moved.

"What?" the question; as they all knew; was directed at all of them for not immediately moving to go home; as he bid.

"If you don't care, Boss; we'd rather stay here." Tony answered for all of them. The rest of them nodded their heads in silent agreement.

Looking at Jenny in astonishment as her own head was nodding up and down along with the rest of them.

"Boss, you and I can sleep in shifts." Tony suggested.

"Make sure you include me in that!" Ziva declared.

"All right. Tony, you and Ziva hang tight for a minute while Tim and I get some wood from the basement.

Coming back upstairs with the two by fours; Gibbs and Tim set about securing the French Doors to the backyard.

"All right, Ziva, Tony; go hit the hay. I'll get you up in a couple of hours." Gibbs grudgingly gave in; both thankful and respectful of his team on a new level.

"Jethro, I've already called in some help. Otherwise; you and I won't get any sleep ourselves. They'll be here shortly." Jenny surprised him

"Jen." Gibbs began to object; hating to put the safety of his team in the hands of agents he didn't know.

"Relax, Jethro; it's Balboa's team." Jenny reassurred him; knowing that this particular overnight shift was the only one Gibbs trusted.

"Thanks, Jen." Gibbs told her. "Go on; catch some sleep on my bed. Abby, you too." Gibbs directed.

"Tim, you've got the upstairs watch." Gibbs directed with complete faith in the young man. The fact that he'd gotten some sleep was gonna be a huge help. Giving him guard duty would give him enough purpose to stay focused.

"On it, Boss!" Tim promised; borrowing Tony's phrase with an apologetic smile given to Tony; who returned the smile.

And so, the team slept in shifts; and watched over each other in shifts. As the darkness faded into daylight; they all got up and prepared to face the day. Jenny; who had more than enough sleep; as Jethro had not woken her up for a shift; made breakfast for the crew. Gibbs smiled his thanks; as he accepted his coffee; knowing he wouldn't have to worry about it being made right.

"Okay, everyone; you've got two hours to go home; change; and get back to work! We have a case to solve!" Gibbs directed in full "Boss" mode. "I want to see every one of you at your post by 9 AM!" Gibbs was surprised that he got no arguments. But, then again; hadn't this team risen to the occasion last night; of their own accord? He really needed to appreciate this team more.

Nine O'Clock found all of Team Gibbs at their posts; running down the names on the two lists that had been drafted when Jethro had first been taken. In the midst of the work being done; records being searched; two strange men walked into their midsts. Gibbs immediately walked up to them; asking for identification; as Tony and Ziva closed ranks behind him; to form a barrier between them and Tim.

"Relax; people; they are Tim's protection detail! Meet Special Agent Kinney and Special Agent Tripp" Jenny told them from the landing halfway down the stairs.

"Jen; while he's here; he's got us! He doesn't need these guys unless he's outside the building!" Gibbs reminded her.

"Jethro, it won't hurt to give them time to get used to your team and what is expected of them while they are Tim's protection. They'll be on duty until he goes home each night." Jenny reminded him.

"Okay. No problem; so long as it's understood that they're to do things my way." Gibbs told her in all seriousness.

"Of course, Jethro." Jenny responded dryly; not expecting any other answer. Smiling; she turned and went back to her office.

"Agent McKinney." Gibbs said; needing to gage how each man responded to the people on his team.

"Yes, Sir?" The young, cuter than Tim' agent answered in full politenese.

"Relax, Agent Kinney; and don't Sir me." Gibbs responded with a slight grin. Go with Tony and Ziva to Abby's lab." Gibbs directed. "You, too Agent Tripp. You both need to meet everyone on this team; so you'll know the ropes." Ziva, Tony; take them to see Ducky, before you come back up here."

"On it, Boss." Tony gladly responded; knowing full well that this was Gibbs' way of letting Tony and Ziva; as well as Abby and Ducky; tell these two "protection detail" agents; exactly what was expected of them by Tim's team members.

Once the four agents left the squad room; Gibbs breathed a sigh of relief at the peace and quiet. Looking over at Tim; he was surprised to see the young man fully engrossed in his computer screens; like he hadn't even been paying attention to what had just happened in front of him.

"Hey." Gibbs called over to him.

"Boss?" Tim instantly looked up; and over at his boss.

"Were you paying attention to all that just now?" Gibbs asked; hoping not to have a repeat of the last conversation they'd had about this.

"Yes, Boss; I was. My protection detail; in effect when I am outside this building; until I go home at night; consists of Agent Kinney and Agent Tripp. I would feel much better if you'd put one on Abby, too, Boss." Tim admitted.

"We'll keep her buddied up for a while; she'll be fine. It's you, we need to focus the protection detail on." Gibbs reminded him.

"Boss..." Tim got up from his chair and walked over to Gibbs.

"Spit it out, Tim."

"If something happens to someone on this team; because all of the protection details' focused on me; ....!" Tim couldn't finish the painful thought he'd shockingly began to express. Although the fact that he felt that way; was in no way shocking. The surprising part came from his sudden ability to speak exactly what was on his mind, to Gibbs. Gibbs couldn't help but smile at the young man who at one time; couldn't even say his name to Gibbs without worrying about Gibbs' reaction.

"Tim; I understand. Trust me; no one is going to get careless enough for anything to happen to any of us. Okay?" Gibbs promised.


	9. Under Control

The agents returned to the squad room a short thirty minutes later; Tripp and Kinney looking already worn out. Gibbs grinned at the new duo; "Problems, gentlemen?"

"No, Sir; I mean; Agent Gibbs." Agent Tripp answered

"No, Agent Gibbs." Agent Kinney responded.

"'Gibbs' will do. One more thing; gentlemen; when I am not here; you will abide by my Senior Field Agent's Authority." Gibbs directed. Before he could say anything more; his phone rang.

"Yeah. Gibbs." He answered in his typical fashion.

"Agent Gibbs, the Director would like to see you in her office, now." Cynthia's voice came through.

"Be right up." Gibbs answered. Getting up from his chair; Gibbs looked to Tony. "Man the fort." He told his Senior Agent.

"On it, Boss." Tony answered.

When Gibbs got to Jen's office; he was surprised to see Jenny elbow deep in files and photos; all spread out on her conference table.

"Jen? You wanted to see me?" Gibbs asked.

"Jethro, where are you with your list of suspects for McGee's case?" Jenny asked; pointing to the mountain of paperwork in front of her.

"Are you actively working on this?" He asked her.

"Thought I'd lend a hand."

"It would be a lot simpler if you would bring that mess down to the squad room and let the team sort it according to what they've found out." Gibbs reasoned. "Seems like you're going about it the hard way."

As she shuffled the stacks back together; she agreed. "We have to do this quickly; get to the bottom line of who's left to investigate; we're running out of time, Jethro." Jenny warned.

**"**_Why?"_ Gibbs**'** alarm bells were going off.

"Your team is still primary. I don't have any other team available, Jethro. I have two teams unavailable; due to training and illness issues." Jenny told him.

**"_You're serious_?"** Gibbs was incredulous.

"Nothing I can do about it; Jethro. I can not spare your team right now."

**"Jeez, Jen!"** Taking the stacks of papers from her; he strode from her office; bringing the door behind him so that it was on it's way to closing loudly.

**"Jethro!"** Jenny's voice stopped him in his tracks outside her office. Turning back on his heels; he retraced his steps into her office.

"Jethro, I've assigned you three extra agents for any field call you have to go out on. They'll be Ziva and Tony's protection; as well as yours. I also have taken the liberty of getting your team vests; which I expect them and you to wear as close to all the time; as possible. "

"Thanks, Jen." Gibbs answered; much less hostile now. Sheepishly; he gave her a smile of apology for his previous temper; before he turned and peacefully left her office.

"**Ziva! Tony! McGee! Get this stack organized into some kind of workable order!"** Gibbs commanded before he'd even finished coming down the stairs. When he reached the squad room; he handed half of the stack to Ziva and the other half to Tony.

Three agents walked up to Gibbs' desk and reported to duty. "Agent King; Agent Fielding and Agent Sprinkle reporting for duty, Sir." They all said in unison. They each carried several boxes with them.

Gibbs pointed to Tony; knowing his agent would know to make the introductions and take care of these borrowed agents and their packages.

"You report to Agent DiNozzo; you follow his instructions. Tony, you decide; which one covers your six; the other one covers Ziva's; and mine."

"On it, Boss." Tony answered; somewhat startled at the extra manpower being assigned to them. The Senior Field agent handed the stack of paperwork Gibbs had given him; off to Tim while He and Ziva introduced themselves to their Protection Agents; and worked it out easily; with Agent Sprinkle being Tony's guard and Agent King being Ziva's; which left Agent Fielding to protect Gibbs.

Gibbs knew his team would be startled by the vests; because it wasn't the norm for them; but he also knew they would take it on the chin and keep going. Watching his team suit up in their vests; even as he put his own on; was disconcerting. It brought home the threat they were under.

With growing agitation, Gibbs left to get a coffee refill before the entire morning got away from him.

When he came back a short ten minutes later; the team was deep in discussion about the names on their suspect lists.

"Boss, we've ruled out almost everyone. There are a few exeptions." Tony told him as Gibbs' phone rang. All four protection agents were stiffly sitting around the desk behind McGee; waiting for some action.

"Yeah. Gibbs." The boss answered. "Okay. On our way. Gear up! We got a dead Marine!"

"Boss?"  
"Boss?  
"Gibbs?"

Gibbs stopped in his trek to the elevator and looked at his puzzled team. _Oh, right! He hadn't told them! Duh!_

"Yeah. We're the only primary team available. Let's go!" He said looking at Tony and Ziva. He didn't have to look twice to know that both Agent King and Agent Sprinkle were not two steps behind the agents they were on duty to protect. He could already see Agent Fielding in front of him.

"You keep plugging away at those names; until we call you to help on this one!" Gibbs directed at Tim.

"Yes. Boss." Tim answered; sitting back down at his desk and once again; beginning to sort though the stacks of papers and photos the Director had let Gibbs have.

Before he boarded the elevator, Gibbs looked back at Tim and his Protection detail. It was highly unlikely that his younger field agent would be goiing anywhere; as he was currently engrossed in doing what Gibbs had told him to do; organizing all that damned paperwork Jen had added to their workload. His gut wasn't satisfied. He knew that Tripp and Kinney didn't know him well enough to be able to read his quiet instructions; so he'd have to make sure they got it right the 1st time. Since he was not willing to leave without getting the seriousness of their responsibility through to them; he'd have to say something.

Tony; seeing where Gibbs' focus was; knowing what was on his mind; jumped in to the rescue; _"Hey, Tripp! Kinney! Over here!"_ Gibbs smiled; unable to keep from appreciating Tony's ability to read him well.

Both of the unsuspecting agents hurried over to the elevator where Tony pointedly stepped back to give Gibbs the floor. "Do. Not Let. Him. Out. Of. Your. Sight!" the Senior agent pointedly ordered in deliberate and measured tones; pointing at Tim; across the room.

Kinney and Tripp both answered in all the seriousness they knew was expected and more; "Yes, Sir; Agent Gibbs."

"Not one hair out of place on his head; when we get back!" Ziva unexpectedly threw in; in all seriousness; causing Gibbs and Tony both; to look twice at her and smile at her over-enthusiastic protective declaration of McGee.

"Don't worry; we got him. He'll be fine." Agent Tripp promised; in awe of the depth of protectivness coming out in this group; for this one agent. He had no intention of giving any of this group a single reason to be unhappy with his protecting their teammate.

Tim; oblivious to the discussion going on at the elevator; on his behalf; steadfastly went about his busy work. He'd almost gotten it completely organized; before his phone rang. Sighing in frustration at the ill timed interruption; Tim answered his phone; hitting the speaker button; unwilling to stop what he was doing.

_"McGee trace a cell # for me."_ Tony ordered over the phone.

And so the day quickly turned hectic; chasing one vital piece of information and then another; in the name of this new case. No time could be found to work on his own case. Once again, it was forced onto the back burner. But, this time; there wasn't even time to get pissed about it. Before the day was out; another case came in. Jenny sent another team of agents to Gibbs' who was forced to split Tony and Ziva up; each of them taking 2 strange agents with them to process the separate crime scenes; while Tim ran down information on both cases; while Abby processed evidence from both; leaving Gibbs to coordinate the running of both crime scenes and and process the puzzle pieces as they began to fit together for each crime.

Nine O'clock that night came before any of them realized it; and all of them were ready to call it a night. The temp agents had already left for the night and the Protection Detail was getting antsy. Gibbs let them off the hook.

_"McKinney! Tripp! Go home! We'll take it from here for tonight!"_ Both agents knew from talking to this man's team members that not only did what he say went; but when he said jump; you asked how high. Both of them quickly turned to leave as he'd requested.

**"Hey!"** Gibbs hollered at them; before they entered the elevator.

Both of them turned back to look at Gibbs.

_"Both of you; my house; 0630!"_ Gibbs commanded.

"Yes, Gibbs!" they replied in unison.

"Go home!" Gibbs told his team. Looking at each of them; he could see the exhaustion on their faces. Except; that was; Tim. He'd apparently, already given in to his exhaustion; his head down on his arms on his desk. Gibbs couldn't help but smile. Turning to Tony and Ziva; he bid them a good night and warned them to be careful.

The sudden quietness in the squad room was deafening. It was peaceful. It was nice. Gibbs basked in it for a long few minutes; letting Tim rest even longer.

The quiet was broken by Ducky's appearance; who raised questioning eyebrows at Gibbs in deference to the sleeping agent.

Gibbs just grinned at the M.E. "It's good for him; he's earned it; what's the harm?" Gibbs asked.

"Jethro, as far as I know, he has not eaten anything at all today. Outside of the two nutitional shakes we got him to drink; that is." Ducky voiced his concern.

"Okay, we'll fix that. Come on, McGee; let's go home." Gibbs called to his agent.

Tim sluggishly woke up hearing Gibbs call him. Guiltily; he raised his head up off his arms; and sheepishly looked at Gibbs; ready to apologise profusely for sleeping on the job. When he found both Gibbs and Ducky grinning at him; he wanted to pinch himself to see if he was dreaming.

"Come on, let's go; you need to get some food into you." Gibbs ordered as he closed up shop and started walking toward the elevator; leaving Tim little choice but to quickly shut down his computer and run to catch up to Gibbs and Ducky as they headed out.

After stopping off for a bite to eat and some relaxing time spent just talking of non-work stuff; Tim's family; Ducky's history with NCIS; Gibbs' worst DI story; and such; Ducky departed from Gibbs and Tim; all of them heading home. As soon as they arrived; Gibbs made the rounds of the house; double and triple checking all locks while Tim jumped in the shower.

A silent thirty minutes later had Gibbs searching for the wayward agent in concern. He found him broodingly staring out of Gibbs' bedroom window; which faced the street. Not bothering to move the curtain; Tim was staring from the side where he could see out without being seen.

Gibbs; brought up short by his Agent's pensive mood; was suddenly reminded the young man had yet to show any sign of grieving for Jethro. The kid had been so concerned with Abby's feelings about the dog's death; that he had tabled his own feelings. Gibbs hoped this wasn't becoming a problem for the young man. At least he and Ducky had gotten him to eat a bowl of soup at dinner. That was a good sign.

Leaving him to his thoughts for the moment; Gibbs retreated to the kitchen to make them some coffee. When it was finished; he turned to take it up to the bedroom; to find Tim already sitting at the kitchen table; having silently come down from the bedroom and brought himself to the table.

Gibbs took it in stride; placing Tim's coffee in front of him; and sitting down in the chair at the head of the table. To see Tim this quiet was disturbing; until you stopped to realize everything he'd been through recently and was still processing. Hopefully, Tim would let Gibbs know if and when he needed to talk. Just in case he needed to be reminded that Gibbs was willing to listen; Gibbs decided to remind him.

"I'm here; if you need to talk, Tim" Gibbs quiet promise actually seemed to lift some of the gloom from Tim's eyes from what little of them Gibbs could see at the moment.

"Thanks, Boss." Was the only answer Tim gave. Apparently, he wasn't ready to talk. Surprisingly, he didn't even look at Gibbs.

"About anything." Gibbs gave it one more push; wanting to make sure Tim knew there were no boundries on him needing to talk.

"Thank you. Really. I'm okay." Tim told him; finally looking up at him.

"Tim. Whatever you do; don't hide it. Okay?" Gibbs encouraged.

"I have to." Tim whispered; dropping his eyes back down to his coffee.

"What? Why?" Gibbs was shocked.

"Because, Boss. Life goes on." Tim's tone held nothing but resigned understanding of how things worked. The conviction of those words was evident in his eyes as he lifted his eyes back up to Gibbs and held them there this time; almost as if he were searching for a better answer.

"Meaning, you're all of a sudden insignificant in the big picture?" Gibbs asked; getting angry.

Tim smiled at his boss' indignation on his behalf. "It's the only way I can handle it, right now, Boss." Continuing to hold Gibbs' eyes; Tim didn't hesitate in his explanation. It felt really good to be able to talk to Gibbs this honestly and openly about this.

"The only way you can handle having your case shoved back on the back burner?" Gibbs asked; completely understanding Tim's point.

"Yeah." Tim admitted quietly; looking back down into his coffee.

"Tim, have you talked to your family recently?" Gibbs suddenly realized no one had asked him about his family lately. Sure, they had talked about them at dinner; but not about whether or not Tim had talked to them recently.

"They're on vacation in the mountains. No phones, no civilization. They won't be back for two weeks." Tim explained, looking back up at Gibbs.

Gibbs could hear it in the young man's tone; he was missing his family terribly. His eyes held fear for them, too.

"Boss, I wanna call them and tell them to stay in the mountains until this is over." Tim's distraught whisper crashed over Gibbs in a wave. The kid had a point. What if his family was targeted because of these maniacs?

"We'll take care of it, Tim. I'll get their place checked out; make sure they have a safe place when they get back" Gibbs promised. "You get me the name of where they're staying and we'll make sure they're not being targeted. And by the way? You are NOT insignificant!""

Tim smiled his gratitude. His exhaustion suddenly making itself felt; Tim rose from his chair; wobbling on his feet. As he steadied himself; he grinned at Gibbs. "Guess that's my cue; it's past my bedtime." He joked. "Night, Boss."

"Night, Tim. " Gibbs answered him with a smile; watching him make his way back up to the guest room.

As he sat at his kitchen table; losing himself in his thoughts; Gibbs couldn't help but think back to when Tim first joined the team; remembering with pride; how the young man had kept bouncing back; no matter what they threw at him. Tim was resilient; dedicated and brilliant. His sensitive nature with his compassion for others; often led to him to being easily hurt and manipulated. They all knew that Tim worried more about looking out for other people than for himself. Everyone on the team had always respected his unselfish nature; the part of Tim that always saw the good in people; well before he ever saw the bad.

But, they also knew he had his own quiet strength and courage; although his knack for withdrawing into himself and burying himself until he was damn near drowning in responsibility and guilt where he saw fit; at times caused concern; although; in most cases; obviously; Tim hid it all extremely well; from the rest of the team.

Tim was one of the last people on earth that should be targeted like this. There wasn't a mean or hateful bone in him anywhere. Not even a drop of hatred or unkindness. Well, except maybe for Jeremy Pryor.. Tim had already lost so many that mattered to him in one way or another. There had been; Erin Kendall, Kate; Paula and now Jethro.

Gibbs had been more than happy to be in a position to change the young man's future; the way he had. But now; Gibbs couldn't help but wonder. Had he done the right thing for him? Hell, Gibbs had never gotten over the doubt that he'd done the right thing by bringing Kate to NCIS. How many agents were going to give their life for this job? How many surrogate family members was he supposed to lose?

It was many quiet minutes later before Gibbs managed to shake himself free of his thoughts. Looking at his watch; he was chagrined to see that it had been thirty minutes since Tim had taken himself off to bed; and Gibbs had yet to check on him. Silently; Gibbs headed upstairs to look in on his agent. Not surprising; Tim had left the door open; like he had done every night since he first got spooked that he was in trouble.

Looking in on him; he found Tim wide awake; curled up on his side; shoulders silently shaking with the grief he'd finally found a way to let out; but was still fighting hard to keep quiet Not wanting this young man to think he had to grieve in silence or alone for a single more minute; Gibbs sat down on the bed and pulled him over to his lap and wrapped his arms around him and held him through his grief.

"It's okay, Son; let it out. It's okay to cry."; was all Gibbs needed to say; before Tim let loose of his controlled grief; relaxed in the strength of Gibbs' anchoring arms and verbal support; letting the pain and sorrow leave him.

Long after his youngest surrogate son had finally cried himself to sleep; Gibbs finally moved to ease him from his lap; back down to the bed; and cover him with a blanket. Sitting in the chair beside the bed; Gibbs felt led to watch over him. Some unknown reason kept him from leaving his agent's side. Tim had been through so much. He'd grown and matured; contributed so much to this team; asked so little in return. That he was being targeted like this; having his life ripped apart in this brutal way; was just so damn unfair; Gibbs felt his rage re-igniting as he sat there; keeping watch over him.

* * *

Morning found Gibbs stiff in the joints and in desperate need of a hot shower to relieve the kinks he'd aqcuired sitting watch over his agent as he'd slept peacefully through the night. _Small price to pay_; Gibbs thought to himself as he got dressed and headed down to the kitchen.

As he entered the kitchen; Tim silently handed him his coffee and pointed him to the table where bacon and omlettes were waiting to be devoured. Gibbs was shocked. He had no idea this kid could cook!

"Thanks, Tim!" Gibbs exclaimed.

"No problem, Boss." Tim answered quietly; something heavy obviously on his mind.

"Have you eaten?" Gibbs asked him; deliberately not discussing the obvious. Tim would open up when he was ready. If the last two weeks were anything to go by; that was the most productive way to handle whatever he was upset about; on his own terms; in his own time.

"I'm not hungry." Tim quietly admitted.

"A bite of something." Gibbs instructed.

Tim silently nodded and attempted to eat some toast. It got caught in his throat; causing him to choke and feel worse for the wear.

"All right; get one of those shake thingy's Ducky's been plyin you with!" Gibbs ordered; in his best "don't argue with me" tone.

Tim nodded and managed to get one of the nutritional shakes down him before he suddenly found the need to get busy with his hands; knowing he needed to find the gumption to talk to Gibbs about what was on his mind.

Gibbs knew Tim was on the verge of spilling whatever was on his mind; but the struggle to get it out; was disheartening to see. Gibbs let him be; watching him wash the dishes; wipe the counters; and fix a cup of coffee. When he brought the coffee pot to the table and refilled Gibbs' coffee; his eyes were filled with something Gibbs couldn't quite put a name to.

Finally, Tim realized the best way to talk about this was just to spit it out. After all, Gibbs had been pretty damn great about everything else Tim had managed to talk to him about and even stuff he hadn't figured out how to say. He was still reeling from Gibbs' amazing emotional support last night; when Tim had no longer been able to hold everything in. Putting the coffee pot back under the coffee maker; Tim came back to the table and sat down.

"Boss. the list I put on your desk." Tim opened the conversation.

"I'm listening." Gibbs quietly left room for whatever Tim needed to say.

"I can't ... I can't handle it." Tim admitted; his heart in his eyes; as he raised those eyes to look his boss dead on.

Gibbs realized what Tim was saying. The list that Tim put together; based on people who had lost someone in the course of the case the team had investigated and solved. In all the years Tim had been on his team; Gibbs had never heard him admit such a thing. Even after one of the cases where someone had been killed. Tim had stoically kept on it. He had never expressed not being able to handle anything. The fact that he did so now; and about this; hit Gibbs in the heart.

"Okay, Tim." he quietly responded; smiling at his agent; offering him nothing but obvious firm support.

Gibbs knew that no matter what anybody said about it or how much time went by; Tim would always carry some piece of guilt; in his heart; from these cases. That was just who Tim McGee was. And it was certainly understandable that; when weighed in with the current situation he was in; he would come to this understanding about himself. Gibbs was actually pleased that he had come to him about it; instead of struggling to actually handle it on his own. There was a time when Tim would have just kept his mouth shut; and miserably did what he was told; no matter the personal cost. Gibbs was relieved to see that those days were gone. He was; however; heartbroken that it was coming at such a horrible price for the young man. Gibbs prayed that the costs had been paid in full.

"You ready to go?" Gibbs asked him; deliberately changing the subject; wanting to get Tim's brain back on track.

"Yeah." Tim answered; picking up his stuff he needed and heading to the door with Gibbs. Agents Tripp and Kinney were waiting at the door to escort Tim safely to work.

Once there; things got back to as normal as possible; under the circumstances. Gibbs just needed to take care of one more thing before Tim could have a normal day; he walked over to Tim's desk.

"Where is it?" he asked his busy agent. Gibbs knew that Tony had returned the file to Tim the previous morning; on his way out to the fresh case

Tim looked up at his boss; and then; realizing that Gibbs was referring to their conversation from this morning; he picked up the file in question; having kept it on his desk since Tony had handed it back to him . He silently handed it to Gibbs; his eyes not quite meeting Gibbs'. Gibbs cleared his throat; sufficently getting Tim's eyes back on his own; and smiled encouragingly at him before taking the file back to his own desk.

Leaving it there; Gibbs left for a coffee refill; leaving Tony and Ziva puzzled at that interaction. But, in the course of the last few days; they'd noticed Tim's relationship with Gibbs had changed and now seemed stronger; less bumbling. Neither agent felt the need to comment on any part of that; knowing that Gibbs was probably a good part of the reason Tim wasn't falling apart at the seams. In fact; he seemed to be fine. Almost too fine.

When more than an hour had passed with still no sign of stress or even anger from Tim; Tony, Ziva and even Abby all approached Gibbs; after he'd sent Tim to let Ducky check him out; since he was still having trouble eating.

"Gibbs!"  
"Boss!"  
"Gibbs!"

Approached by all three of them at once; was almost alarming; to say the least. But Gibbs was more curious than alarmed at this point."What?"

"What's wrong with Probie" Tony asked for the trio.

"What are you talking about?" Gibbs asked; clearly confused.

_"Gibbs! He's not angry; he's not upset; he's not even stressed out!"_ Abby exclaimed. _"He's acting like nothing happened!"_ apparently the lab rat was pissed because Tim wasn't handling the situation the way she thought he should be. Gibbs got it. What he didn't get is how to handle this. He knew that the team was worried about Tim; but at the same time; Tim was entitled to his privacy; all of it.

Quickly; but silently; getting to his feet; Gibbs scribbled a note and; picking up the file from his own desk; he walked to Tim's desk; and deposited the note he'd just written ,where Tim would see it; before he crooked his finger at the rest of his team; and bid them to follow him; not wanting to discuss another word of this in public. Once safely ensconced in his "conference room" Gibbs asked all three of them.

"Are you genuinely concerned about him; or do you just think he's not handling this; _in front of you_; the way you think he should be?" his question was asked quietly but had enough steel in it that they all knew they were pushing the boundries of what Gibbs would and would not tolorate.

Tony actually figured out the emphasis Gibbs had put on the answer to their question without actually answering it. He smiled. "Thanks Boss." he replied. "I was concerned about him. But, apparently, you have everything under control."

Gibbs raised his eyebrows at Ziva and Abby in his silent questioning way.

"Yes, Gibbs; I agree with Tony." Ziva answered. The last thing she wanted to do was piss Gibbs off. Apparently, there was a fine line here; that she had missed. She would discuss it with Tony, later; since it was apparent that he had gotten whatever it was Gibbs had just explained in his cryptic way.

Abby; always the more stubborn one of the bunch; wasn't quite ready to let it go.

Gibbs stare didn't even work on her. Letting out a huge sigh of frustration; Gibbs sent the elevator to Autopsy. Once there; he pushed the button to send Ziva and Tony back to their desks; escorting Abby into Autopsy.

"Agent Gibbs! I just sent Timothy back upstairs. He's fine; although; as I'm sure you're aware; he needs to eat better."

"Thanks, Duck. Abby, here; has a confidential question for you.!" Gibbs declared with a pointed glare directed at the Lab Rat.

"Oh?" Ducky was confused.

**"GIBBS!"** Abby was pissed. She hated being passed off onto someone else when she wanted the answer to come from Gibbs.

_"Abby! Ask Ducky! And whatever you do; do not discuss it with Tim!"_ Gibbs ordered in his most serious no nonsense tone. There was no doubt; this was one order that he would not tolorate being crossed. As Gibbs left in the elevator; Abby turned to Ducky; anger in her features.

"Whatever do you need to ask me, Abigail, that has Gibbs so fired up?" Ducky asked in concern. Gibbs' reaction had certainly been strong and serious; whatever this was about; was a sensitive matter. There were very few times that Gibbs forbid one team member to discuss something with another team member.

"Ducky, Tim's not acting right. He's not angry; he's not upset; he's not even stressed out!" Abby exclaimed. "He's acting like nothing happened!"

"And your question is?" Ducky asked; still confused.

"What's wrong with him? Why's he acting like this?"

"Abby, are you honestly trying to say that _you_ know how a person is supposed to react to situations like this? Is it your belief that what _you_ consider "_acting right_" is the only way a person is supposed to deal with it? Ducky asked.

"Well, no; but why didn't Gibbs just say that? Why did he march me down here and make me ask you?" Abby was feeling very put out.

"Abby, Gibbs has an awful lot on his mind right now; and he obviously thought I could better answer your question without any disruption in the squad room?" Ducky offered as a suggestion. " You do tend to be stubborn at times; and it's possible that Jethro did not have the patience nor the time to deal with your stubborness at the moment."

"Yeah. I guess you're right, Duckman." Abby was beginning to see what Ducky was saying. Gibbs didn't really need her insistance that he answer her question in a way that made her happy. He did have an awful lot on his plate. " I guess I should apologise to him." Abby admitted.

"I would let some time pass, first, Abby." Ducky suggested.

"Yeah? Thanks, Ducky." Abby answered as she turned to go back to her lab.

* * *

Once he left Autopsy; Gibbs took the elevator straight up to Jen's office level. When he was bid enter into her office; he sat down in the chair in front of her desk; something he rarely did.

"Jethro? What is it?" Jenny asked in concern.

Gibbs slid the folder across her desk and watched as she opened it and looked through it.

"This is a short list, Jethro. These aren't the same names you were putting together last week."

"There's a reason it's a short list, Jen. Look at it again." Gibbs requested. "You offered to help us get to the bottom of this? We; and by we; I mean, Tim and I; need you to weed _this _list out." Gibbs told her quietly.

"Jethro?" Jenny was confused.

"Jen, these are the people Tim personally feels responsible for affecting since he's been on this team. He put that list together." Gibbs explained.

"I'm not following. Why not just incooporate these names into the other list of people you came up with.? I'm not rescinding my offer to help; I just don't understand why you're keeping this list seperate."

"Because he's been traumatised enough. I want these names removed from his focus. Sure, they'll still be in the back of his mind; but if that list is not downstairs; he won't have to focus on it." Gibbs continued to try to get her to understand where he was going with this.

"Jethro, are you coddling him?" Jenny was surprised.

Gibbs glared at her in fury for a long silent minute before he calmed his temper and answered her question; foolish as it was;

"Director; in all the years that young man has been on my team; he has never once came to me and admitted he couldn't handle doing something that's been asked of him. Whether it was facing you or me over his sister; facing Metro over Benedict's death or facing repeated bouts with poison ivy; or even adopting the dog that attacked him; he's never backed down from a challenge. Until now. He came to me and point blank admitted to me that he can't handle going through this list. There's no way in hell; I'm not gonna respect that!

"okay, Jethro. I see where you're coming from." Jenny backed down.

"I need him to stay focused on the here and now. We all do. And by the way? Letting him get through this in a way that gives him the trust and freedom to come to me with what's on his mind; is not coddling him. It was his being able to tell me about his bad feeling that kept us aware of things being off from day one of this mess!" Gibbs bit out; frustrated that she would even have asked him that.

"You're right, Jethro. I apologise." Jenny backed completely down. She did know better; and truth be told; was quite impressed with the way he'd been able to keep McGee focused while at work.

* * *

Once Tony and Ziva had been sent back upstairs in the elevator; Tony propelled Ziva to the other elevator; and in typical Gibbs team fashion; used it for his own conference room.

"Tony; what was that about?" Ziva's confusion was evident.

"Ziva, didn't you notice the way Gibbs stressed the words _'in front of you?'_ " Tony asked her.

"Yes, I did. But I did not follow.. Wait a minute; he was telling us that McGee has been handling this privately so he can function as normally as possible here at work, yes?"

"Yes!" Tony exclaimed; grateful that she got it. "And since he's been staying with the boss; that means..." Tony hedged; wanting her to understand the rest of it.

"That means that Gibbs has been; in all probability; helping him handle it!" Ziva announced her understanding of the whole picture.

"Exactly!" Tony answered.

"Gibbs certainly did not look happy with Abby's persistance!" Ziva remarked.

"Yeah, and I'm gonna leave that alone; how about you?" Tony asked with infinite wisdom.

"Oh, I agree!" Ziva answered.


	10. The Report

The rest of the work day passed with the air of normalcy; only those who knew the team well; could tell any different. By the end of the afternoon; the two current cases were almost wrapped up. Suprisingly enough; both seamed to be pretty-much open/shut cases; or as Gibbs called them "water-tight". The team agents were all working on their case reports; steadily and quietly; although; it was a comfortable quiet. The closer to quitting time it became; the more antsy Tim seemed to become. Apparently; something was on his mind. He kept checking the time at the lower corner of his computer; which kept interfering with his report typing. Finally; he'd driven himself to enough of a distraction; he stopped typing and sat still for a minute; unable to keep it up any longer. After a quiet minute; he resumed typing; although this time; the episode of typing was short; and soon; the sound of an email reaching Gibbs' mailbox could be heard.

Tim went back to his report typing; but this time; it was a slow; methodical; precise typing; so unlike his usual enthusiastic speedy typing; it seemed to catch all of their attention. Gibbs stopped typing his own report and opened the new email; noting in concern that it came from the desk across from him. Sliding his eyes in that direction; he noticed the cautious way Tim was working; so unlike him; it was obvious there was something serious on his mind. Gibbs quickly turned his eyes to the email his agent had sent him.

Tony and Ziva looked over at both Tim and Gibbs. It didn't look like anything too out of the way; and Gibbs looked like he had it under control; as usual. After seeing Gibbs pay attention to whatever the email was; they returned their eyes back to their own work; keeping an ear on the goings on around them as much as possible without being obvious.

*************

_Boss:_

_Jethro's autopsy - I need to know._..

_Tim_

_**************_

_That's Right! Ducky said the autopsy report should be back by 5 today_! While Gibbs was in no way surprised that Tim remembered that or that the agent in him would want to see the report; Gibbs doubted that Tim personally would be able to handle whatever it included. The parental lion within Gibbs was fairly certain that he didn't want his agent/surrogate son to see what had been done to his innocent pet; seeing how it was pretty much a foregone conclusion; that whatever it was; was not good. Tim being Tim; would heap another mountain of guilt on himself; which would do absoloutely nothing to help him get through this.

Ducky had refused to handle the autopsy himself; citing the need to maintain the integrity of the Team's appearance of following proper protocol; and all. Since Jethro had been the personal pet of a team member; Ducky felt it would not cast the team in a very good light; for him to handle it. Neither Tim nor Gibbs had argued his point.

Gibbs checked his watch; 5:15. Looking over at his antsy agent; he had to marvel at Tim's ability to keep going on his report; even if it was at a snail's pace at the moment. He was obviously still trying hard not to get sucked into worrying about it; or getting nervous about what the results might show. Slowly getting up from his desk; Gibbs signed off his computer and walked over to Tim's desk. Meeting his eyes; Gibbs motioned for Tim to preceed him out of the squad room. Once in the elevator "conference room" Gibbs looked his agent over carefully; trying to assess his overall state of mind from 'the boss' perspective.

"Boss, I'm fine; really." Tim promised; knowing what Gibbs was trying to figure out. "I need to do this." The determination in his voice left little room for doubt that he was convinced he really did need to see the report.

Before Gibbs could answer him; his cell phone rang. "Yeah. Gibbs."

"Jethro, I need to see you; ALONE; immediately!

"Not possible, Duck." Gibbs answered; his eyes still locked with those of his agent. He was not gonna lie to Tim about any part of this. Not unless he absoloutely had to; and so far; that need had not arisen.

I'm in the director's office." Ducky explained his whereabouts; but not his urgency nor his strange request. Gibbs' gut clenched. This couldn't be good.

"Be right there." Snapping his phone shut; he snapped the elevator back into service; sending it up to the director's level.

"You're sure?" Gibbs asked Tim, one last time.

"Yeah, Boss; I'm sure." Tim's voice was loosing it's strength; testimony to the truth that he was working hard to bury. He wasn't sure he could handle this; he was sure he wanted to handle it. Big difference. One that wasn't Gibbs' to fight for him.

"Come on." he encouraged Tim; when it reached its destination.

Reaching Cynthia's office; they were directed into the Director's office.

"Jethro! Agent McGee!" Jenny greeted them pleasantly.

"Ma'am." Tim responded.

"Director." Gibbs greeted hesitantly; sensing something was off.

"Jethro, Timothy; I realize you are both here for the autopsy report on poor Jethro; but I fear I do not have it. It is not finished. The Dr. performing the autopsy has taken ill and no one else; apparently; knows a basket of beans from a bucket of walnuts in his office; except him." Ducky exclaimed; seemingly extremely frustrated.

Gibbs knew that for Ducky to be telling such a bald faced lie; like this; he had to have a damn good reason. For everyone's sake; Gibbs decided to go with the flow; and let this play out; hopefully, it would not come back to bite any of them in the ass. He took the silent route; giving his agent the chance to do what he would with what he'd just been told.

Tim was more relieved than he thought possible; for the space of about one minute. He did want to know what had happened to his dog; but obviously; a larger part of his brain; or was it his heart; didn't want to hear of any suffering or even anything bad that may have happened to him. Especially since, whatever was done to him; was done because of Tim. Needing permission to escape; he turned his eyes to his boss. His eyes worked pretty well; and he'd seen the file on the Director's desk.

It didn't take a genuis to figure out that it was the report in question. Whatever was in the report; was so bad; Ducky was willing to lie to him about it; lie to Gibbs about it; at least; in front of him. To his knowledge; Ducky had never lied to him before. So whatever had been done to his poor dog; had to be really, really bad. The realization of that truth left him unable to fight Duck's scheme to keep the truth from him. It also left beginning to feel the rising wave of fear. He needed to be alone.

Seeing the desperate need for escape in Tim's eyes; unexpected and uncommon as it was; spurred Gibbs into action before he could even think twice about it. Stepping backwards to the door; he opened it and ushered his agent out of it with a small smile. He didn't miss the fear in those eyes. Tim knew more than they were giving him credit for. He hadn't earned the descriptive term "brilliant" because he needed help putting two and two together!

Tim wasn't ready to face anyone or get back to work. He needed a breather. Heading for the stairs; he took advantage of the solitude the stairwell at the Director's level gave him. Maddeningly enough; he felt uncontrolled tears well up and bulldoze their way out.

As soon as Tim was clearly out of earshot; Gibbs turned on Ducky; fire in his eyes; _"Since when do you lie to me, Duck?"_

Ducky silently picked up the actual autopsy report from the Director's desk and handed it to Gibbs; sadness and anger in his eyes.

Jenny remained in her chair; safely behind her desk; as she silently watched Gibbs read what Ducky had refused to let Tim find out. Watched the fire in his eyes turn from anger at being lied to; into fury at the cold-hearted brutality evidenced before him; done just to send a message to one of his own.

* * *

When Gibbs finished reading the autopsy report; taking the time to calm himself down and talking things out with Ducky and the Director; it had been agreed that Gibbs would not be expected to lie to Tim. On that note; Gibbs had been adamant. But, but none of them would dispense all of the grisly details to the young man. This was truly a case of what he didn't know would hurt him; deeply. None of them wanted that for him; even realizing his sharp mind was in all probability; imagining the worse by now. If and when the truth needed to be told; it would be the bare minimum facts; nothing else. The details would only serve to drive more painful stakes into the suffering young man's already broken heart. Cruelty of that level did not sit well with any of them.

Gibbs hoped it would not get ugly. He hated for Tim to even have to think about any of the details of his dog's murder. He had enough to worry about. Speaking of worry; where had his youngest field agent gone? Snapping out his phone; Gibbs called him.

"Boss?" Tim sounded strange. Gibbs didn' like it.

"McGee, where are you?" Gibbs' couldn't keep the concern from his voice.

"Stairwell; top level." Tim's voice was strained as he owned up to where he was hiding out. Whether it was exhaustion or emotion; Gibbs didn't know. But, he intended to find out.

Opening the stairwell door; Gibbs found his agent sitting in the corner of the top landing. His back to the wall; knees drawn up; arms resting on his knees. Taking a minute to look him over; Gibbs wasn't encouraged. Tim's eyes were closed; and his face was wet. Obviously, the kids' brain had kicked its' active imagination into over-drive; just as Gibbs' feared; having seen the file on the Director's desk. Gibbs had known this was coming. Time for a different tack.

"Tired of working for the day?" Gibbs joked.

"Can't focus." Tim seriously answered; obviously not ready to joke. The fact that Gibbs had cracked a joke; didn't even phase the kid. _Warning sign number one_, thought Gibbs. Although he'd answered Gibbs; he hadn't opened his eyes. _Warning sign number two_; Gibbs reminded himself; _a meltdown is brewing._

"What are you focused on?"

"Ducky's never lied to me before. It's obvious he thinks he's protecting me." Tim reasoned very quietly; his eyes now open and fixed on Gibbs. "What was in the report, Boss?"

"Yeah. You're right about that." was Gibbs' only answer.

_"Oh, Come on! You too?"_ Tim was clearly not happy.

_Warning sign number three_; thought Gibbs unhappily. Needing to regain control of Tim's obvious spiraling pain; he redirected Tim's focus just slightly.

"Tim, answer me this; what do you hope to gain from knowing what exactly happened to Jethro?" Gibbs asked him; quietly reigning him back in.

"Honestly, I don't know. I guess, it's the not knowing that's driving me crazy." Tim admitted shakily.

_Good, we've backpedalled to step two; we can calm this down._ Gibbs thought.

"Right. So, think about this. Whoever's behind this? They're doing all of it to hurt you; obviously in every concievable way possible. That being said; for you to find out the details of what they've done; would be playing right into their hands, don't you think? They want you upset. They want you so unnerved; you stop thinking straight; you do something careless; and they get to you. Don't give them that! Handle this smarter than that and you'll do fine." Gibbs encouraged with a smile.

"I understand what you're saying." Tim quietly stated.

"Good." Gibbs responded with relief.

"I just have one question." Tim pushed.

"Shoot." Gibbs answered; knowing the battle wasn't won yet.

"Don't I need to know exactly what they're capable of; just in case..." Tim's fear was back in full force; written all over his face.

Gibbs felt like he'd been sucker-punched. That 'just in case' brought such pain and fear to Tim's eyes; that Gibbs felt it almost leap across the space between them and lodge into his own heart. _Meltdown immenent!_ Gibbs silently realized. Needing to do something helpful in this moment; Gibbs did the only thing he could think of.

Reaching his hand down toward his agent; Gibbs helped him up to his feet; wanting to do much more for him; knowing it might push him over the edge; he kept ia a lid on that urge. "Come on." Turning on his heel; Gibbs led the way back to the Director's office. _This isn't good; this is gonna get out of control real quick_; Gibbs silently worried.

Cynthia just nodded them in the direction of the door. to Jenny's office.

Gibbs was glad that Ducky was still here. Encouraging his agent to go in ahead of him; Gibbs propelled Tim to stand in front of Jenny's desk.

"Go ahead, Tim." Gibbs encouraged.

"Director, Ducky. I know that you think you're trying to protect me. I understand why. Gibbs helped me see the logic in it. I appreciate it; really I do. But; like I explained to Gibbs; I have just one question to go up against your theory of protecting me about this."

"Go on, McGee." Jenny encouraged.

"Shouldn't I know what they're capable of; just in case....?" When Tim had finished asking his question; you could have heard a pin drop on the carpet of that office. It had hit Jenny and Ducky as painfully as it had Gibbs a moment ago.

It wasn't that they hadn't thought of that "just in case" possibility. It was that Tim had!

Not to say they thought he wouldn't think of it; but, that they had hoped he'd have found a little more time of not imagining bad things happening in his life. The silent volume of pain this young man was experiencing in his life had just been turned up; and it was deafening.

All three of them; Ducky, Jenny and Gibbs; yearned to reach out and wrap their agent in the physical support and protection of whatever they could. But, the simple fact of the matter was; they couldn't protect him very well from an unknown enemy that would go to these lengths to hurt him and not just physically. The fact that it was nor just physical pain they were trying to inflict; made it a vendetta of some kind; a deeply personal vendetta. It took the self-control of saints for each of the three senior people in that room; to silently stay in their spots; trying to find the words to answer the young man's question honestly; without inflicting more pain on him.

"Timothy; suffice to say that they drugged Jethro; paralyzed him and killed him mercilessly." Ducky quietly explained; seeing his point of needing to know; but adamantly refusing to give any more details to the young man.

_"Ducky!"_ Tim persisted.

Gibbs tensed; knowing this was gonna get rough very quickly.

"Timothy?" Ducky asked; refusing to take the bait.

_"What aren't you telling me?"_ Tim was getting testy as the horror of what he was hearing began to work its' way through his brain waves.

"Tim!" Gibbs quietly reigned his agent in; putting a calming hand on his shoulder; locking eyes with him; as he asked him "Remember what I said?"

Tim searched Gibbs' eyes for a long silent moment; "I think I should have listened to you." he finally whispered. Turning on his heels; he fled the director's office; with visions of what his dog had suffered running though his mind in blinding flashes; like camera stills.

"Damn It!" Gibbs muttered; following his hurting agent out of the Director's office. Actually not knowing what the young man needed most at the moment; paralyzed Gibbs for a minute. A minute he spent in watching the young man; once again; seek the security and aloneness of the stairwell.

Giving him another whole 30-second head start; Gibbs followed in his wake; exiting the stairwell door.

* * *

Jenny hit the speaker button on her phone and called Tony's desk.

"Director?" Tony was concerned. He hadn't seen either Gibbs or Tim in quite a while.

"Agent DiNozzo, will you and Officer David report to my office, please?" Jenny requested; her tone the nononsense one they all dreaded.

Ducky raised his eyebrows. "You're going to fill them in; when we aren't even filling Timothy in?"

"They need to know exactly the kind of people we're dealing with!" Jenny declared.

"Isnt'that what Timothy just tried to explain he needed, also?" Ducky wasn't sure any of these youngsters needed to know all the details. But, he did know that Tony and Ziva would be better able to handle the brutal truth; simply because they weren't the target of these animals.

"Exactly." Jenny declared; reading Ducky's eyes better than he gave her credit for.

Tony and Ziva entered the Director's office in short order. Coming to stand before her desk; they were obviously nervous.

"Relax. Tony. Ziva. Ducky has something you need to see. However; this entire conversation stays in this room! I will notify Gibbs that you have been read into the situation. You are; under no circumstances; to let McGee or Abby in on this or even discuss it with them." Jenny ordered.

"Director?" Tony began to object.

"Relax, Tony; Agent McGee has been given the bare facts. That is all he needs until such time as Gibbs decides to tell him anything else! Are we clear?" Jenny demanded.

"Yes, Director." Both Tony and Ziva answered together. They knew she was letting them in on whatever it was; simply to make sure they were fully aware of all the facts. They also knew it was too much for Tim or Abby to hear; so it had to be really, really bad. Which meant it had to be about Jethro. The dog's death had hit those two as hard as everyone had expected. Both of them were quiet, timid church mice now; since they'd been victimized this way.

Ducky silently handed them the autopsy report and sat back; waiting for the questions; the anger; the outrage that would come; bracing for the coming storm.

**"OH MY GOD!!"** Tony exploded. He deliberately calmed himself before finishing his reading; knowing it wouldn't help for him to lose it.

**"Are you serious?"** Ziva exclaimed. She saw red. She wanted blood. It took all of her self-control to calm down and re-focus on what she had left to read.

Giving them a few more minutes of silence to work through what they were reading; Jenny and Ducky; both kept anything they had to say; out of it for the time being. It was better to let these two teammates of Timothy; get this out of thier systems so they could better know exactly what they were facing.

"How much of this does Tim know?" Tony wanted to know.

"The bare facts. That Jethro was paralyzed and killed. His over-active imagination and computer brain; will be causing him enough stress with just that much information as it is." Jenny explained quietly. Do I need to stress how he is NOT to be told anything more?"

No, Director; I wouldn't do that to him; and actually; I don't think I can promise not to hurt whoever does dump more on him!" Tony promised.

_"Get in Line, Tony!"_ Gibbs ordered from the now open door of Jenny's Office. Thankfully, Tim was not with him.

"Where is Timothy, Ducky asked in concern. Everyone wanted to hear the answer to that question.

"Right now, he's trying to calm himself down. For his own peace of mind; his hiding place is his own. I came back in here to tell you"; turning to Jenny; he finished; "We're calling it a day. I'm taking him home; he's had all he can handle for today; more; actually."

* * *

In his sanctuary in the stairwell; Tim stopped fighting the losing battle against his broken horrified heart; each breath it gave him bringing a ping of guilt and pain; at what his innocent pet had endured all because of him. Gibbs was right; he was definitely upset and unnerved; to say the least.

Drawing his knees up and wrapping his arms around them; he put his head down and let the sobs loose; the tears flow; he didn't have the strength to fight any of it.

He actually felt so sick at heart; he couldn't find the strength to move a muscle that wasn't already being used to hold him up or cry.

* * *

In the Director's office, Gibbs turned back to Tony and Ziva; telling them. "You, two; it's your call; this time. You can stay and try to get something accomplished; or just call it a day. Take your protection with you until you get home, this time." Although his tone booked no argument; the concern in his eyes and steel in his voice; anger still evident; from the autopsy report; neither Tony nor Ziva were inclined to disregard what he'd said anyway.

Gibbs looked at Ducky. "Duck; a word?" turning to lead the way out of the Director's office with Ducky following in his wake.

Once away from the Director's office; Gibbs stopped and turned to Ducky. "I need you to stop by and check on him after I get him home."

Ducky read the worry behind Jetho's request. "He must be extremely upset. I gather his mind has brought up terrible pictures of what must have happened to his pet?" Ducky asked in concern.

"That's putting it mildly, Ducky." So saying; he led Ducky to the door of the stairwell; from behind which; Tim's pained sobbing could be heard.

"Oh, dear!" Ducky quietly exclaimed. Nodding his head in complete understanding and sorrow for the younger agent's agony; Ducky told Gibbs. "I'll be by in a little while." then he turned and went back to the Director's office.

Gibbs knew that Tim's place of sanctuary was still safe; Ducky would not tell anyone. He also knew that Tim needed to be able to calm down or he would give his hiding place away himself. More than that; he needed to calm down for his own good. Knowing what had sent him over the edge; to the point that he'd lost control of his emotions at work; made Gibbs bank of ideas on how to fix it; seem lame.

Before, he could turn to enter the stairwell; he saw the rest of his team headed his way; Jenny leading the pack. With fire in their eyes; and the obvious need to reach out to their hurting teammate. Shooting daggers at Ducky; Gibbs very quickly headed them off more than half way back to Jen's office; with a glare.

"No! He does not need to be invaded by the lot of you; especially, right now. You want to help him? Leave him alone unless he asks for help! You can stop by and check up on him later." Gibbs quietly but firmly instructed; once again using his 'don't argue with me' tone.

"There's no need to be angry with me, Agent Gibbs." Ducky spoke up in his own defense. "I simply went back to the Director's office to tell her I was also leaving for the evening. When they asked how Timothy was doing, I told them he was extremely upset. They followed me out; apparently, wanting to show him their support. I simply brought them to you; for you to deal with as you see fit."

"I get that, Duck. I do. But, you all need to get that he needs his space. His privacy." Gibbs pushed them to understand; looking at each of them in turn. "Do me a favor; and go show Abby some of that concern; make sure she's okay, too. We can gather at my place _later_; if it will make you all feel better." Gibbs promised; giving in to their genuine need to see for themselves that Tim was gonna be okay. They needed Tim to know that he wasn't alone in this; they were here for him, too. He understood that.

Nodding their heads in understood agreement; Tony and Ziva smiled their thanks to his expressed understanding and turned to the elevator; anxious to pack up for the night and go check on Abby before they headed out. Tony knew that _later_ was Gibbs speak for at least 2 hours from now. So, he would take the ladies to dinner; and keep an eye on them; suddenly feeling the need to keep the team close.

Jenny stood stock still; watching Tony and Ziva; and eventually Ducky; all use the elevator to head back to their necessary tasks. When it was just she and Jethro remaining; she looked to him; knowing he probably had something else to say. She was surprised; when he simply looked to her with the same expectation; clearly, he thought it was she that had something else to say. She did not. She simply smiled at him and headed back to her office.

Gibbs breathed a sigh of relief; and headed for the stairway door. As he neared it and opened it; the depth of Tim's pain and fear was still evident; as his sobs had not stopped. Gibbs; not knowing anything else to do; pulled the young man up to his feet by the elbow; and gathered him in his arms; giving him an anchor through this storm.

Tim clung to Gibbs like a drowning man to a life vest. The storm raging through his heart was so black and bottomless; he truly felt like he was drowning. He thought he'd gotten rid of it all when he'd let it out the other night. When Gibbs had held him through that outpouring. But, this one was worse; more powerful; more painful; endless.

Somehow, he had to find the strength to stop the sense of being out of control. He hated this. Hated losing control; at work; hated making Gibbs deal with this mushy stuff they all knew he hated. Tim had to pull himself together. Dredging the bottom of the tank of self-control; Tim girded his mind with reinforcements; bit by bit; calming himself down little by little until he was at least able to quiet the sobs and lessen the flow of tears.

* * *

Gibbs felt his heart break for this tender hearted kid who kept getting kicked when he was already down. Standing there; holding him up; holding him steady; feeling his pain; picking up on the fear that was keeping it going; keeping the light from getting through his brainwaves; Gibbs felt helpless. For a minute.

There had to be a way to help Tim get beyond this fear; get back to being alert and on guard; not sit back and just wait for what he thought was the inevitable. As Tim's self control began to manifest itself; Gibbs helped it along by squeezing his arms in a sign that he was ready to let Tim stand back up on his own two feet.

When Tim stepped back; using his pulled out shirt tails to wipe his face; while he worked to resteady his breathing; Gibbs; while keeping his eye on him; mentally formulated a plan of action that would jump start Tim's survival instincts. Giving Tim another minute to reclaim his sense of normalcy; Gibbs decided the time for giving in to the personal side of this nightmare was over. It was time to fight back; especially for this kid.

"Okay?" Gibbs asked quietly; not wanting to spook him or startle him.

Tim silently nodded in response; not yet over the embarrassment of having lost it at work like that. The embarrassment of Gibbs being witness to all three of his breakdowns was hard to take; knowing how much his boss hated this stuff in the first place. It made looking him in the eye; too hard to handle right now.

"Hey!" Gibbs, forever able to read minds; knew exactly where Tim's mind was stuck at the moment. The kid was burying himself in embarrassment; so busy counting the number of times he'd been seen; and by Gibbs no less; less than strong; he wasn't accepting the fact that it was okay to not be strong all the time He'd lost the primary focus; staying alert and keeping one step ahead of these maniacs.

Tim dragged his eyes up to Gibbs' own; and what Gibbs found there was not surprising. Yeah, the embarrassment was there. But, then again; so was a host of other things. What wasn't there; was what needed to be. Anger.

**"Listen to me!** _Ask yourself; right now; 'What are you gonna do about it?' You gonna let them keep sucker-punching you like this? Or are you gonna start fighting back? Are you a Federal Agent trained to deal with bastards like this or are you 'insignificant'? "_ Gibbs angrily asked; not trying to hide his anger; instead; putting it to use; to push Tim's buttons and push them hard. For an added push; Gibbs gripped Tim's arms and gave him a slight shake; locking his eyes on his agent; waiting for him to look back at him. Hoping against hope that the kid would rise above this and fight back.

Tim let Gibbs words sink in; let the underlying message get through his rattled brain. Re-engaging his brain; he looked at his boss with renewed fire in his eyes.

"Right!. Okay, let's go." Gibbs answered; inwardly breathing a huge sigh of relief; directed Tim down the stairs; all of them; all the way to the gym. Assuming the air of a Drill Instructor; Gibbs proceeded to bully Tim into lashing out at the punching bag; and keep him at it until Tim had exhausted all of his pent up fury and available energy. With his diminished appetite of the last two weeks; it didn't take long for him to be at the end of that short supply; but it had done what was necessary; under supervision and guidence; Tim McGee had re-light the fuse necessary to start fighting back.

Satisfied that all that could be done for the night; to get Tim out of his pit of misery; and back on track; had been done.; Gibbs directed Tim toward the shower. After he'd showered and changed; they drove home; with their protection agents in tow. It had been a hell of a day.

Tomorrow was lurking just over the horizon and things were about to get much worse.

* * *


	11. Behind The Scenes I

Driving home from work; their protection detail where they were supposed to be; Gibbs' Agent; Fielding driving in front of Gibbs' care and Tim's duo; Tripp and Kinney driving behind it; Gibbs realized Tim was in no way up for any company tonight. Looking over at him now; it was plain to see; even in dim light of the early twilight; the kid was far beyond beat. Hell the kind of day he'd just been through would have wiped out a handful of Marine recruits! When you put it together with all the other days he'd had in the last two weeks; it was a wonder he was still going.

_Weeble Wobble;_ Gibbs thought; with a sad grin. _He shouldn't have to_ _keep going like this_. Hitting the speed dial for Tony; he hit the speaker button on his phone as well; wanting to take care of this in one fell swoop.

"Boss?" Tony sounded alarmed; and in a noisy place.

"Tony, get somewhere quiet so we can hear you!" Gibbs ordered.

"We?" Tony asked; getting up from their diner booth and walking outside where it was quiet; Ziva and Abby in step with him; Agents King and Sprinkle, staying right with them.

"Yeah, Tony; Tim and I are on the way home. He's pretty beat; but I'll let you guys hash out if he's up to that company or not." Gibbs handed Tim the phone. Tim set it down on his lap and rested his head back against the seat; his eyes closing of their own volition; hearing Tony, Ziva and Abby all trying to talk to each other before they said anything to him.

"Hey, guys; I can hear you just fine. I appreciate your concern; really, I do; but, Boss is right. I'm so beat; I'll probably pass out the minute I sit down somewhere."

"Timmy! Are you bein straight with us?" Abby demanded.

"Abby; he can't even keep his eyes open." Gibbs offered from the driver's seat; seeing Tim's losing battle to stay awake. That bout in the gym had really taken a lot out of him; but then again; so had the emotional hell he'd cried himself out of before they even went to the gym.

_Good; maybe he'll sleep like a baby tonight_; Gibbs thought. "Where's your protection?" Gibbs asked

"Keeping watch over us." Tony promised. "Where's yours?" knowing Gibbs probably already sent his home

"Escorting us home; like yours is supposed to be doing; not eating on the clock, DiNozzo!" Gibbs was not happy.

"Understood, Boss. I'll take care of it. I think we should check on Probie in person," Tony answered bravely.

The silence from Tim was very telling. "You can talk to him tomorrow." Gibbs reminded the trio; letting the personal slap; most people would have taken over that; go. Reaching over; he snagged the phone; snapping it shut; putting it in the console between the seats.

"Thanks, Boss." Tim tiredly said; opening his eyes and looking over at Gibbs with abject gratitude. "For everything. All of it. I wouldn't be able to deal with this without your help."

"You just make sure you don't forget for a minute; that you're an important part of this team; this family; you hear me?" Gibbs quietly asked him; glancing over at him; locking eyes with him for a second.

"Yeah, Boss; I hear you." Tim's voice was quiet; too quiet. There was exhaustion in there; but Gibbs heard something else, too. Something he wasn't sure he liked the sound of. Sounded suspiciously like resignation. Not the resignation he'd heard the other night; but the deep resignation that said the fight had already been lost to these bastards.

Knowing that his agent was probably not even close to thinking rationally at the moment; Gibbs kept quiet and schooled his features; saving that fight for tomorrow. Tonight; Tim needed nothing but a good night's sleep. Heaven help who ever got in the way of it, too! Silence reigned for the rest of the drive; as Tim soaked up the short rest it gave him.

True to his word; upon reaching the inside of Gibbs' house; Tim immediately went to bed; barely managing to tell Gibbs; "Night; Boss."

"Night, Tim." Gibbs gave back calmly. Busying himself setting up his coffee for the morning; Gibbs thought over the events of the day. It had been a bitch of a day for Tim. Honestly, it hadn't been easy on Ducky, Jenny or even himself; either. But, then again; they were supposed to be able to handle crappy days like these.

Pouring a touch of bourbon into a glass; Gibbs headed up to check on Tim a short ten minutes after the young man had head upstairs. If his brain was fighting his need for sleep; like it had been for most of the last two weeks; Gibbs was fully prepared to make him drink the bourbon to help get him there. No such help was necessary; this time. Tim hadn't even taken his shoes off. From the looks of things he'd done just what he'd predicted he would do; sat down and fell over where he sat. He was down for the count. Carefully, Gibbs gently maneuvered Tim's legs up to the bed and moved to take his shoes off. Before Gibbs even got one untied for him; there was a knock on his door downstairs.

Sighing a breath of frustration; Gibbs went to go answer the door; dropping the glass off in the kitchen sink on the way. Looking at who his company was; he was not surprised to find the whole team standing on his doorstep. Opening the door for them; he quickly shushed them. "He's already asleep! He didn't even get his shoes off, for cryin out loud, people! Appreciate your trust in me."

The trio did look slightly ashamed as they all opened their mouths to explain.

"No, it's okay. I get it." Gibbs said with a small smile.

"I'll go tuck him in!" Abby declared. Ziva and Tony silently started to follow in her wake; obviously needing to see for themselves that he was really okay. They hadn't laid eyes on him since before Tim had gone up to the Director's Office with Gibbs at 5:15.

_"Wait."_ Gibbs quietly admonished the trio before they got five feet away from him.

All three of them stopped in their tracks and turned to see why he'd stopped them

"Ducky is here for a _reason_!" Gibbs told them dryly; pointing to the M.E.'s Medical bag. "Let him do what he came here to do, first.

"I'll just be a few moments, children." Ducky grinned at them. It did his heart good to see them so intent on checking on their teammate; even if he was asleep. Gibbs calling them out on they're not believing without seeing; that Tim was fine; was hilarious to see.

The fact that Ducky's endearment for his team was silently accepted without a fight from any of them; put a grin on Gibbs' face; for a second.

Gibbs turned his attention to the Director; silently directing her into the kitchen; pouring her a cup of coffee and setting it down in front of her at the table; before sitting down at the table with her; neither of them speaking. Too much had happened today; none of it good. Both of them sat lost in their unhappy thoughts.

* * *

Upstairs; Ducky checked the sleeping man's vitals and took a good listen to his heart. Satisfied that he hadn't overdone himself to the point of putting his health in any further risk; Ducky slipped out of the room; smiling at the three youngsters in the hallway; anxiously waiting for him to get finished.

"All right; he's all yours. Do I need to remind you what Gibbs will do to the lot of you if you disturb Timothy's much needed sleep?" Ducky quietly asked with a sly smile. He hesitated to call by his given name in front of Abby or Timothy these days; knowing it was a stark painful reminder of his namesake they'd lost to this horrible nightmare.

"Don't worry, Ducky; none of us want to see that much of a pissed off Gibbs; plus we know how badly, Tim needs this rest." Tony quietly assured him. "If you wait a sec; I'll come down with you; I just wanna look in on him." So saying; he did just that; took a good hard look at the sleeping probie who'd been going through so much hell in the last two weeks; holding up remarkably well under it all; it was easy to see how exhausted he was now. Turning away from the bedroom; he silently went downstairs with Ducky.

As Tony left with Ducky; Abby went about tucking Tim in; taking his shoes off and covering him with a blanket. While Abby busily did what she needed to do to feel better about this nightmare; Ziva simply sat back and silently guarded them. As Abby gave in to her urge to physically comfort Tim; by laying down with him; picking up his arm and placing it around her; the sleeping agent; apparently so exhausted; he sensed nothing going on around him; didn't even stir.

Ziva sat back; perfectly content to sit watch over the resting duo. She knew that both of them were getting what they needed on the road to recovery from this nightmare.

* * *

As Tony and Ducky made their way to the kitchen; in search of Gibbs; neither spoke a word. Both were two caught up in what had been in that damn report; what Tim was going through; what he was facing without realizing he was facing it. Tony felt sick, pissed and heartbroken. Ducky was heartbroken; sick at heart; and very, very angry.

When they entered the kitchen; Gibbs looked up; "Where are girls?"

"Still with Probie. Knowing Abby; by now; she's probably stretched out next to him; making sure he knows she's there for him; without waking him up. Ziva's probably standing watch." Tony declared in confidence.

Gibbs knew he was right. "I'll go get them. You all need to go home and get some sleep." as he started to get up; Jenny stopped him.

"No, Jethro; let me. I would like to check on him, too." she said quietly. As she walked out of the room; she failed to notice the looks on the faces of the men in the room. This nightmare had shaken her more than she was willing to let on and she'd lost a little of her normal ability to not miss a thing. Gibbs nodded in agreement and watched her walk out of the room; before he turned to Ducky; both of them trying to school their faces for Tony's sake. "Well? He okay or do we need to start him on an IV?"

"Gibbs; there's no doubt he could certainly stand to put some weight back on; and regain his appetite; but such drastic measures are not necessary as of yet."

"_And if those bastards succeed?"_ Gibbs bit out before he could help himself; his eyes blazing with anger. He couldn't help it. It was the biggest concern on his mind right now. Tim's "just in case" had been eating at him all evening. The fact that Tim was less than healthy from his lack of appetite; was weighing heavy on his boss' mind. The more this affected him this way; the less fighting chance he was giving himself; if the worst were to happen.

"Agent Gibbs!" Ducky was appalled that Jethro would even talk such possibility

"Boss?" Tony was actually scared. Gibbs never talked like this!

"No! We need to understand exactly what we're up against here. He's not healthy. He hasn't eaten properly in at least two weeks. What does that do for his fighting chance if these bastards do get their claws on him?" Gibbs was seriously pissed; but trying desperately to keep the volume out of his voice. He didn't want Tim to wake up or even have Abby hear his anger.

"Well, you do raise quite a valid point," Ducky admitted sadly.

"And the fact that he's convinced it's gonna happen regardless? What does that do to his already non-existent appetite; his will to fight?"

"What?"  
"What?"  
"What?"

Jenny's shocked voice joined those of Ducky's and Tony's at Gibbs gut-wrenched admission. He couldn't hold it in any longer. He'd figured out the resignation he'd heard in Tim's voice earlier in the car. He didn't like what it meant; not one bit. The team needed to know exactly what the fight was and what it was about. It was no longer just about Tim not getting taken by these bastards. It was also about Tim not giving up.

Gibbs knew that Tim's desire to give up was getting stronger; because he deeply feared someone else on the team being made to suffer at the hands of these criminals; to "make their point". Tim had already told Gibbs; he would not be able to live with himself if that happened.

Jenny hadn't yet made it upstairs; turning back to hear the conversation in the kitchen first. She'd been shocked at Gibbs words; but able to stay silent until he'd admitted that last piece of news.

"Every day; a piece of him fears someone else getting taken by these bastards; so they can prove another point. If that happens? He won't be able to live with that; with himself. And you know what? If I were in his shoes; I wouldn' be able to either. But,you heard his question this afternoon; did you catch the fear in his eyes that came with it?" Gibbs looked from Ducky to Jenny. "_Just in case?_ **You do the math Add all that up and whattya get?"**

All of a sudden; Gibbs couldn't sit still for another second. Jumping up from his seat; he bolted from his kitchen; taking the stairs two at a time. Stopping in the doorway of the guest bedroom; he managed to let the sight of Tim and Abby resting together soothe his ignited anger. He couldn't stay angry at Tim; not even for thinking things through the way he was doing. When he looked at his younger surrogate son; sleeping; finally free; at least for now; from this horrible nightmare; all he could feel for him; was sympathy. Remembering the amount of crap he'd had heaped on him; and the young man's stoic attempts to act normal and tough in front of the team through it all; actually did Gibbs' heart proud.

Despite Gibbs' attempts to get him to understand that it was okay to not always be strong in the face of such trials; Tim; obviously was hell-bent on minimizing the pain of others; by keeping his own to himself as much as possible. The only Gibbs could do; was be there to make sure the kid didn't overload his circuitry with the weight of it all.

Seeing Abby being there for Tim and letting Tim know that he could be there for her at the same time; Gibbs couldn't help but smile at the way her mind worked. She would be able to head off whatever crap was in his head when he awoke; but Gibbs wasn't sure Tim needed company first thing in the morning; right now. He decided to let her stay there for a while. It certainly wouldn't hurt for now. Especially if Tim happened to wake up before the pow-wow downstairs broke up

Looking over at Ziva; silently watching over the duo; Gibbs felt a wave of gratitude for the Israeli woman and her determination and self-restraint. Catching her attention; he motioned for her to join him out in the hallway. When she had left the bedroom; he directed their steps down to the kitchen; silently.

* * *

Down in the kitchen; Ducky and Jenny both watched the emotions wash over Tony's face. The normally strong and tough Senior Field Agent was all of a sudden looking very unsettled and scared, even. Seeing his normally unflappable boss give in to his anger and concern like that; had shaken him; that much was obvious. It no doubt showed the young man that his boss was indeed human.

"Ducky? Director?" Apparently, he had missed something important that had happened today with Probie. Tony suddenly needed to know what it was. Whatever it was; was bad enough to light the boss' anger enough for him to have lost control of it momentarily.

"Anthony, Gibbs is referring to Timothy's request that he be told what happened to Jethro. He asked if he didn't need to be told so that he would know what he was facing; 'just in case." Ducky quietly supplied the missing info Tony was obviously keen on finding out.

Now, it was Tony who could no longer sit still. Jumping up out of his chair; in much the same manner Gibbs had just done; Tony bolted for the sanctity of the boss' basement. He needed to think; needed to be alone.

In the now nearly vacated kitchen, Ducky took this opportunity to ask Jenny an overdue question. "Director; do you not find it difficult to address Jethro as such; at this time; when it so adversely affects the children who've just lost his namesake? This entire nightmare has greatly affected all of these young people; all of whom loved that dog; were attached to him greatly. Hearing his name; even attached to his human counterpart is very painful for them. Have you even noticed our Jethro is affected when he's addressed in that manner at this time?"

Jenny was dumbstruck. "Ducky! You know I hadn't even thought about it! I'm sure it is very painful for them. Thank you for bringing my attention to it." Jenny was still reeling from Jethro's revelations of a few minutes ago. There was just too much going on, here.

Gibbs and Ziva entered the kitchen a moment later. Seeing his Senior Field Agent missing; Gibbs immediately looked to Ducky with his typical raised eyebrow silent question.

Ducky silently pointed to his basement; knowing that the man would understand the youngster had needed to be alone. Pointing Ziva to the table; were Ducky and Jenny would keep her company; Gibbs turned and went after his wayward Senior Field Agent. Descending the basement stairs; Gibbs' eyes located Tony restlessly pacing; his hand sander being idly flipped from one hand to the other repeatedly; without conscious thought. Tony was so distracted; he didn't even hear Gibbs coming or see him get to the bottom step and sit down.

Gibbs patiently waited for Tony's restlessness to calm itself. He knew that his Senior Agent had seen and heard a lot in the last two weeks; most of which had the former cop busting at the seams to get his pound of flesh for. There was no way he'd have been as stoic about all this; as he had been; without letting loose somehow; someway. This was calm; and it made Gibbs wonder just how Tony had gotten the rest of it out of his system and manage to function normally. He'd witnessed; of course; Tim's handling of it; and he knew Ziva's way of handling it. Tony's normal way; wisecracks and jokes; pranks and harassing his Probie; obviously so off limits; it wasn't even mentionable. So how had he been handling it?

Tony sensed he was no longer alone. Freezing in his tracks; his eyes flew to the blue ones steadily watching him from the stairs. _Oh, crap; he was in for it now!_

"Hey, Boss."

"Tony. You all right?"

"Me? Yeah! Fine!"

"Tony! Don't lie to me." Gibbs instructed quietly

"Boss; I'm not the one..." Tony tried to explain.

"Yeah, Tony; I know. But that doesn't mean that you don't need to be heard. Now, talk to me. Whatever this is? Gibbs pointed to Tony's restless pacing. " Don't hide it". Gibbs once again made his words an order.

"Boss, if you're right; and I don't doubt that you are; since Tim's been holding everything in so close to the vest; does that mean he's gonna wake up one of these mornings and just hand himself over to these bastards?"

"No, Tony. That's not the impression I was trying to leave you with earlier. I think Tim's gonna fight back now. When he wakes up and is thinking clearly."

"Now? He doesn't talk about it; any of it! How the hell do we know where his head's at? How will we know if and when he needs help turning it around?"

"He talks to me." Gibbs quietly shared.

"I figured. Especially after what you just said up there. And when you told us that he handled it not in front of us; I got that; too. Boss, but, we're a team. right? What's with his acting like nothing's wrong in front of the team? I thought being a team meant we're in this together!" Tony's frustration at being left out of how his probie was doing and what he was thinking was plain to see.

"Tony; ever since he's been on this team; the one thing we've worked at getting sunk into his head is the need to be tough; isn't it?" Gibbs reminded him.

"Yeah. Oh. Okay, I get it. Now, he thinks he has to be strong in front of us" Tony proved that he did get it.

It's how he was raised, too. 'Men being men' and all that stuff." Gibbs shared. "So; the strong, silent support is what he needs right now from his team. Any discussion about him talking about this; will only serve to make him feel bad that he's not comfortable talking about it. If you feel the need to talk to him about it; tread lightly and do not get easily offended. After all, it's what we've come to expect from him, remember?"

"Yeah." Tony's voice was full of self-recrimination.

"Hey; don't waste energy feeling bad about it now. Remember, he didn't just learn it from us. Just be there for him in spite of it." Gibbs advised. "Just remember, Tony; he's handling it in a way that works for him."

"Can't be working too well for him if he's even thinking of just giving up!" Tony exclaimed.

"Tony, I already explained it. You would think to sacrifice yourself before letting somone else on this team get taken the way Jethro did. why is so so hard for you to understand that Tim would feel that way?" Gibbs patiently asked.

"Yeah. I get it., Boss. So, now what do we do?" Tony asked.

"Now, we tackle finding out who's behind this; locate Tim's family and get them protected; and keep a sharp eye on Tim." Gibbs relayed the game plan.

"Yeah? Is that all?" Tony asked in a dry voice.

"Yeah; just another day in the office, right?" Gibbs grinned as he got up and gestured for Tony to precede him up the stairs to the kitchen.

* * *

Once back in the kitchen; with Ziva and Tony; as well as Ducky and Jenny; all sitting around; seemingly lost in their own thoughts; Gibbs couldn't stand the morose quiet any longer.

"Look. If I gave you the impression earlier that Tim's just gonna roll over and play dead for these bastards; I apologise. I do know that that thought has crossed his mind; and given the way he was thinking earlier today when he said he needed to know what these bastards were capable of just in case ... well, it didn't leave any room for doubt which way his mind was running. But, since then; I think he's re-lit the fire to fight back. Down deep where it counts." Gibbs related.

"Only with your help, Boss." Tim's quiet admission came from the doorway; startling them all. No one had heard him come downstairs.

"PROBIE!" Tony's jubilant exclamation was impossible to not grin at.

Gibbs, however; was not smiling for long. Looking at Ducky; in obvious concern. Ducky in turn; silently looked Timothy over; assessing; from head to toe; searching for signs of exhaustion; or worse.

"I'm fine; really." Tim told them; knowing full well; where the minds of his boss and their M.E. were at. As he stood there; leaning against the door; Gibbs silently got up out of his chair and beckoned for Tim to take the now empty chair at the table.

As Tim shuffled over to the table and sat down; Gibbs smiled encouragingly at him. "Can you eat something?"

"Actually; I think I can, Boss. I feel really hungry; strangely enough" Tim admitted sheepishly; looking up at Gibbs.

Gibbs smiled genuinely in return; the relief he felt washing through him; adding hope to the day. "What are you hungry for?" Stepping over to the refrigerator; he stood and waited for Tim's answer.

There were subdued cheers heard throughout the room. Tim looked around him in surprise.

"Huh?"

"Timothy; that is the first time we've heard those words from you in over two weeks. They are worth celebrating." Ducky supplied with a smile that brightened the room.

Jenny got up and walked over to the stove; intent on helping make this young man something to eat.

Distracted by so much going on; Tim completely forgot to answer Gibbs' question.

"Tim?" Gibbs patiently waited; too relieved at this turn of events to be upset with not getting any immediate answer to his question

"Boss? Oh, sorry. It's late; I don't want to be any trouble. Whatever you've got; will be great." Tim offered.

Gibbs looked to Ducky silently; hoping the M.E. would offer suggestions.

"Do you eat oatmeal, Timothy?" Ducky asked. "Or a banana?"

"Not usually, Ducky. At least not without flavor added to it. Banana's are fine." Tim admitted sheepishly.

In short order; Tim found himself eating a bowl of maple syrup flavored oatmeal; topped with banana slices and drinking a nice tall glass of milk.

The round of applause given when he'd finished the meal brought a smile to his face; a rare sight these days; which in turn put one on everyone else's face in the room.

Gibbs was sorry Abby had missed it. He knew that Tim had; out of consideration for her; let her sleep when he'd woken up.

The silence after he'd finished eating was deafening and disconcerting.

"Somebody wanna tell me what's going on?" Tim asked.

Everyone looked at Gibbs. He, in turn; decided it was time to send everyone home. Tomorrow was another day and would require them all to stay sharp.

"Go home; everyone." Gibbs' tone booked no argument. "Ziva, go get Abby. You and Tony escort the rest of them home and then go home yourself."

It was a long thirty minutes later before the house was emptied out and only Gibbs and his youngest field agent left. After Gibbs walked everyone to the front door and locked it behind the last of them; He leaned against it; gathering his thoughts.

"What aren't you telling me?" Tim's worried voice came from behind him.

Gibbs turned around and looked at his agent. "What would make you ask that?"

"Come on, Boss; I'm not blind. As soon as I asked what was going on; they all looked to you. You couldn't get them out of here fast enough. What won't you tell me?"

"Tim, come sit down." Gibbs encouraged him toward the comfort of the living room couch; while he, himself took the chair. Once they'd gotten comfortable; Gibbs came clean.

"Tim, I lost my cool tonight. While you were sleeping; I said a few things to your team that were bothering me; that under normal circumstances; I would never have shared." Gibbs guilt ridden voice raised a red flag for Tim.

"How bad could it have been, Boss?" Tim asked; his belief that Gibbs would never betray his confidence evident in his tone.

Gibbs smiled at Tim's obvious unwavering faith in him. He prayed that he still had that after hearing what Gibbs had to confess.

"I told them that you were convinced that the people behind this will get what they're after, regardless. And I told them what you told me about not being able to live with something happening to anyone else on this team over this." Gibbs voice was shaky. He'd never had to admit betraying a confidence before and hoped he never would again. And I said that your not being able to eat normally for the last two weeks has left you less than healthy and doesn't help you any."

Tim silently let Gibbs words work through his mind. He knew that his boss was under a hell of a lot of pressure and in addition to all that; he'd been there tirelessly for Tim; through the wipeouts; the pow-wows; the whole of it. And here he was; obviously upset with himself because he'd let something he was upset about slip out to the team? Apparently, Gibbs held himself together with too high of expectations of his own!

"So, basically; you told them the truth." Tim stated; obviously not upset in the least. "Boss, what is it you told me about expectations?" Tim asked him in all seriousness.

"_Don't set yourself up for expectations you can't meet."_

"Right? That _is_ what you said to me, isn't it?" Tim pushed.

Gibbs could only smile slightly at his own piece of advice being handed back to him on a silver platter.

"Seems to me that you should follow your own advice on occasion." Tim's tone held no anger or even disappointment.

"Meaning?" Gibbs asked; finally; needing to know exactly where Tim was headed with this reprieve.

"Boss, you're only human. I know these last two weeks have been harder on you than anyone realizes. You've had to hold me up; hold Abby up; keep the team focused; keep us going; run more investigations. Put up with my meltdowns; keep the peace; you've had more on your plate than the rest of us put together. And now, you're worried that you've said too much on my account? Please, cut yourself some slack for once!"

"You've never liked having to worry about all this personal stuff; the more personal; the more you've hated it; and now you've been stuck in the middle of it; and not only have you held me up; kept me going; but, I've never once seen or heard you get angry with me about it. I think you're destined for Sainthood. I certainly don't have a damn thing to complain about. In fact; I'm the last person on this team who should have anything to complain about right now."

"I know this team had been tied up in knots over this crap. I know they want to help. They're upset because I act like nothing's wrong. Everyone thinks I don't hear or see this stuff. But, I do. But, it's like I tried to explain to you, Boss. I have to do it that way. It's the only way I can handle it at work."

"Yeah. Tim. I get that. They get it too. Now. And you don't have to worry about any of it. You just focus on staying strong. Keep getting stronger. Get that appetite back; keep that fighting spirit. Don't think; even for a second; of just giving up!"

"I won't Boss. I promise you that." Tim's promise rang with conviction.

"You think you can't live with something happening to someone on the team over this? Well, you just remember what I told you earlier tonight in the car. You're an important part of this team; this family. And there's not one person on this team that doesn't feel the exact same way when it come back to you!" Gibbs pushed; wanting this young man to have no doubt left in his mind of his importance to this team.

"Thanks, Boss. Now, I just need to find a way for everyone to not have any more reason to worry about me. Seriously. We all need to concentrate on finding these bastards; not how much I can or can't eat! I should be fine, now. That time in the gym tonight seemed to be the adrenalin rush I needed to get over the lack of appetite. Seems to have fixed the problem I had falling asleep, too." Tim admitted; on a roll with words; forgetting he'd kept that problem to himself; until now.

"Why didn't you tell me about that?" Gibbs jumped on Tim's slip of the tongue.

"Like I said; you've had more than enough to deal with." Tim stubbornly defended his right to not add any problems to the mix.

"No more secrets! I don't care how much is going on; you tell me! You got it?" Gibbs was annoyed at the same time he was so proud of this young man and the person he had become.

"Yes, Sir." Tim seriously promised.

Knowing full well that the much hated "Sir" was not said out of disrespect; but rather to emphasize the degree of promise being given; given with the utmost respect; Gibbs smiled.

"I'd like to ask you for something in return." Tim boldly stated.

"I'm listening." Gibbs offered.

"I need you to remember that you're human and the bottom line here is that I trust you." Tim said, quietly.

"Thank you, Tim." Gibbs was getting choked up. It had been a very long time since anyone had said anything so personally important to him.

"I could not get through this without you; but you can only do so much and I know that. If it seems like I don't respect that; I apologise." Tim kept going; needing to get this off his chest.

"That does bring up a question I've been needing to ask you." Gibbs pointed out; relieved for the opportunity to bring it up.

"Okay."

"Why is it that you only feel completely safe when you're with me or at NCIS?" Gibbs was obviously not just asking out of curiosity.

Tim's expression showed his dismay that he hadn't been able to completely hide that problem from his boss.

"I'm not calling you out on it; I just need to know why, Tim" Gibbs reassured him; seeing that he obviously felt bad about it. "Why would it bother you that I noticed something like that?"

Tim got to his feet and walked to the window; needing to focus his eyes elsewhere as he tried to explain.

"I feel like you're all I've got; since my dad's not here, Boss." Tim's quiet, heart-felt admission; tugged hard on Gibbs' heart-strings; especially when Tim's soul bearing eyes found his and locked on.

"Tim."

"Don't get me wrong; I know that Tony and Ziva and our assigned Protection agents are capable and trained and all that; but you and my dad; well, with the two of you; it's just different. You're both trained military. You're both experienced; much more than the rest of us put together; and it makes a huge difference in the way it makes me feel. I can't help it."

"I understand, Tim. I just wish there was someway to get you to feel safe more often. You're right I'm only human and I can only do so much.

"That's why I've tried not to…" Tim tried to explain.

"Why you've not said anything; but you forget; your eyes don't hide very much; at least; not from me." Gibbs told him with a smile of understanding. "_Tell me_; I don't have to be concerned about you bucking your protection; because you're not trusting them!"

"What? No!"

"I have your word on that?"

"Yes."

"Does it help you to know that _I_ trust your Protection Detail?"

"Yes."

"Good. Think you can get some more sleep?"

"I think so."

"Problem?"

"Too wired, now, Boss."

"Okay, so talk. Tell me more about your family." Gibbs encouraged.

Tim smiled his appreciation and launched into a tale of the horrors of having a little sister so much younger than yourself. Before he was finished; he was out for the count; although; this time; he was comfortable and prepared to stay out for the duration of the night.

Gibbs sat back in his chair and with a smile on his face; watched his agent sleep through the night; eventually falling asleep himself.


	12. Behind the Scenes II

_Somewhere in DC;_

* * *

_Slim: It's been over 10 damn days! What the hell is taking you so damn long to get your hands on him? I wanted him a week ago!"_

_Jim: Look; according to our friends; we have to stick to the plan; even if the plan has to go through some last minute changes; when things don't work out the way we' thought they would. Relax! Patience is the key here. We'll get him._

_Slim: "What the hell do you mean 'last minute changes when things don't work out the way we thought they would?"_

_Jim: Look how fast he opened his mouth to that damn boss of his about being spooked! Hell; they surrounded him like a damn cocoon quicker than I could blink! I barely had time to spike the one drink I managed to get my hands on in his car! It's gonna take time to get this done. Especially the way you want it done! You said; no trace evidence! You want it done that carefully; you have to be willing to be patient._

_Slim: "You better hurry that little time-line of yours up; before they get too damn careful!"_

_Jim: "Yeah; right! I got his dog; didn't I? I even managed to put the beast back when I was done with him!"_

_Slim: "Yeah; and since then; what the hell have you done to to get him? Seems to me; all you've done is gotten his damn people riled up and wrapped around him so tight; you'll never get him now! I sure hope you have a rock solid plan to make this work! If I don't get my hands on him soon; I'll take it out on you! And we both know that thanks to both your friend and mine; I am more than capable of making you suffer; like I intend to make him suffer!"_

_Jim: "You need to relax. I got this! Didn't I have things under control in the first place? If you recall, it wasn't me that screwed things up for us then. I've already got things moving along. Have to keep him guessin. Right now; he's getting relaxed again; thinks the worst is over. Meanwhile his "team" i jumping thrugh one hoop afte another; I've made sure they stay busy. That's why this is a game of patience. Can't do this right without it."_

_Slim: "Fine. We'll continue with your plan. But, hurry the hell up!"_

_Jim: "Yeah, he,he; I know; you want to play with your new toy! He took your dreamboat away from you; so you're gonna make an example of him. I know. Have patience. Let me get him for you first; in a way that makes certain no one suspects you or me; all right? After all; you do want to keep him once you get him, right? I mean; you only plan on sending them proof of the fun you have with him, right? You've no plans to give him back?"_

_Slim: "No. they are never getting him back. He's mine until I'm done with him; forever! You're right; he took my forever with my new beloved from me; I'm gonna take his forever away from him! Don't worry; we're gonna do the fun part your way. It wouldn't be near as much fun to go through all this trouble getting our hands on him; if we didn't show off our accomplishment and what we do with it, right?"_

_Jim: I promise; you'll have him soon! I'll call you back when I've completed the next step of the plan. In the meantime; it would help if you make sure you're ready for him when I get him for you. It shouldn't be long now._

_"You just better be glad neither your friend nor mine was looking for anything from helping us; other than wanting him to pay for what they've lost, too."_

_

* * *

_

_Meanwhile; Safely tucked away in Gibbs' house:_

When morning came; Tim; surprisingly enough; was the first to awaken. Silently; he took himself to the kitchen first; to start Gibbs a pot of coffee; before going up to take a shower and get ready for work. A quick ten minutes later found Tim showered, dressed and on his way back to the kitchen; fully prepared to fix breakfast for himself and Gibbs. The aroma of breakfast already cooking reached him before his feet even crossed the threshhold of the kitchen. His stomach's demand to be fed preceded him; noisily. Before he could be embarrassed about it; Gibbs' laughter filled the air.

"No doubt about it, now; huh; McGee?" Gibbs asked laughing.

"Yeah. it's pretty bad, isn't it?" Tim agreed with a smile.

"Nah! Don't even worry bout it." Gibbs chided him.

They sat down to breakfast; a quiet one; with not much conversation, The food was good; the mood was pleasant; the worries and pain of the days just past; were; at least for now; on the back burner; out sight; and for the time being; out of mind.

After breakfast; as they left the house; even being escorted in by Tim's Protection Squad; both Gibbs and Tim found the peace and quiet of a stress-free morning were doing wonders for both of their battered minds; and even helping their worked over hearts.

Once at work; once again; the team was soon embroiled in the solving of another case. The fact that this was the third "water-tight" case to come their way since this horrible last couple of weeks started; hadn't fazed anyone; well; almost anyone. It caught Tim's attention enough that he stopped eating his lunch; brought to him by Abby; and; while it was fresh on his mind; he threw a vsual time line together; document incidents surrounding this case; everything that came up; was discovered; seemed odd; etc. Once he finished this; he encrypted it; storing the encryption code seperate from the time line.

He felt better about it; once he got back to his current case work; he was supposed to be working on. He would start cleaning up his hardrive in his spare time. He just couldn't shake the feeling that this was not going to end well. Even though Gibbs wanted no more secrets; Tim could not bring himself to tell him that all of that man's efforts and time spent tryin to make Tim feel safe; feel better about things; about his ability as a Field Agent; weren't eraddicating this feeling that Tim was not gonna make it out of this as well as everyone was hoping.

The rest of the work day passed uneventfully and quietly; as Tony, Ziva and Gibbs were gone out in the field until after six. By that time; Tim had cleaned up; encrypted; copied; or deleted every kilo byte of his hardrive. Each encrypted file was entered into a log. Each encryption code was entered into a seperate log. His next step was inspired by Abby's self-created "Lab Manual For Dummies." He painstakingly began writing a step by step instruction sheet for each and every type of search he'd ever run for Gibbs; for every computer task he'd ever done for him. Since he could do most of it in his sleep; it was simply a matter of stopping to type the instruction for the step taken in the proceduure. By the time the team returned to the office; Tim had only completed the list of what procedures would be included in his "manual."

As the team came back in; Tim quickly stowed his work in his desk; not wanting anyone to know he was taking such drastic preparedness steps. None of them would take it well; they wouldn't understand the difference between giving up and just being cautious and prepared for the worst. Although a part of him; a small voice in his head could be heard asking him just what the hell that difference was any damn way?

Shoving that thought to the back of his mind; his eyes searched for his boss; Gibbs had said something about the two of them having a video conference with his parents when Gibbs got back in from the field. Tony and Ziva both said Gibbs had not taken the elevator up with them; but rather; had gone in search of coffee directly. They had not seen him since he had done so. Tim was beginning to feel something was off. Why did that damn feeling come on him so damn quikly now, anyway? It was like he couldn't get away from it! He hated it. His ringing cell phone caused him to nealy jump out of his skin. It was on its fourth ring before he answered it.

"Agent McGee."

"Tim; come on; MTAC. Now" Gibbs orderd

"Be right there." Tim's bad feeling didn't go away; it did loosen its grip on his poor tortured stomach.

Once up in MTAC; too nervous to sit; Tim stood; shoulder to shoulder with the man who'd been holding him up through all of this for the last few weeks. He was both proud to be able to stand there without nerves; and thankful for the opportunity.

"Bring up the video conference I requested." Gibbs ordered the MTAC technician.

Almost immediatly; A Colorado Sherrif's Deputy's face filled th screen.

"Special Agent Gibbs. I did as you requested. I checked on the safety and wherabouts of your agents' family on that "get away' vacation. There's just one problem, Sir.

"And what would that problem be; Deputy?" Gibbs fought hard to keep his voice calm; for Tim's sake. But his gut was clenching on this already. Damn it! Tim had been right!

"Well, Sir; we haven't been able to locate them. We've put a BOLO out for their car and for them as well. Seems they checked out after reporting being stalked while trying to enjoy their time up here. The made the report two days ago. Then; decided to call it quits early and go home. No one has seen or heard from them since they left here; two days ago. I'm sorry, Sir."

"You'll keep searching for them." Gibbs tone didn't really make it a question.

"Yes, Sir; of course we will. And we will expand the search and the Bolo's." the deputy promised.

"Thank you, Deputy." Tim's firm but subdued voice was heard before Gibbs could even voice his own thanks; which he did; as soon as he recovered his shock at hearing Tim's.

Once the screen had gone dark; Tim couldn't move. He felt like the wind had just been sucked out of his lungs. His legs gave out from under him and only Gibbs grabbing his arms and maneuvering him gently to a seat; kept him from hitting the floor.

Silently gesturing for the techs to leave; wanting to give Tim some privacy; he then sat down next to him and waited. As he waited, his phone rang. "Yeah. Gibbs." He answered quietly. "MTAC" was all he said before closing his phone quietly and continuing to wait and watch over Tim as he pulled himself together; or at least tried to.

Jenny wasted no time arriving in MTAC; with Tony and Ziva in tow. Their silent question filled the room. Gibbs stood up and walked to the three of them before they reached Tim's seat.

"His family's gone missing. They reported being stalked at their vacation retreat and left because of it. No one has seen or heard from them in two days." Gibbs told them. "He's been afraid they would get dragged into this; and you know how I feel about coincidences.

"Why wouldn't they have called him?" Tony asked; obviously confused.

"We're not sure, Tony." Gibbs answered. "Get Abby to run traces on their phones. Get Ducky up here." Gibbs quietly ordered. Turning to Jenny; he asked. "Is this enough for you? Are you ready to take us off Primary Team status, yet?

"Agent Gibbs; don't make this my fault. I have no control over what teams I can and can not use when I am short handed." Jenny professionally explained; not letting his anger get to her or color her reply. She knew his anger was justified; even if it was misplaced.

"No. They do." Tim McGee's quiet statement shocked them all into silence. All four pairs of eyes turned to look at him.

As he stood up and walked over to them; he explained his statement; his eyes locked on Gibbs; knowing his boss would believe him. "It's all part of their elaborate plan. Don't you see it? Everything that's happened since that day he started watching my apartment. It all fits. Somehow; whoever this is; has been affecting the way things affect this team. I'll bet there's a connection somewhere between whoever this is; and the cases we've had; the timing of them? They've all been "water-tight"; easy; busy work. It's too much of a coincidence. The way the team's been kept running busy; the fact that we're short on staff. All of it; it's connected. I'm sure of it."

The enormity of the possibility silenced the room. It was into this silence that Ducky walked; and froze. Gibbs turned to him and motioned for him to come check Tim over. Ducky got Tim to sit while he checked his vitals and asked him how he felt.

"Like someone keeps throwing me back in the ring with Mohammad Ali; no matter how many times he sucker-punches me. It doesn't seem to matter that he's won every single round so far. I'm still being thrown back in."

Tim's unexpected answer broke their hearts.


	13. Tim's Darkest Hour

The team was silenced by the sorrow; almost palpable with the strength of what they felt for their targeted member. Whoever was behind this seemed to slowly but surely winning the war. But Team Gibbs didn't back down from a fight. Especially, when that fight was for one of their own!

Tony was the first to break the silence; his anger obviously seriously in danger of slipping from his control.

"I'll go see what we can find out on their bolo's and phone traces, Boss." This as he couldn't get out of MTAC quick enough. The last thing he wanted; was to lose it in front of Tim. Their Probie had enough to deal with without having to deal with anyone else's reaction to what was happening to him.

Ziva; after silently watching Tony scurry away before his temper got lose; walked over to Tim and put her hand on his shoulder. "Do not worry, McGee; we will do our best to find your family." She promised.

_It's probably too late._ Those words crashed through Tim's brain like a tidal wave; bringing such acute realism with it; he felt the probability as pysically painful; like someone had just gutted him from the inside out. Silently; while waging the war to contain what he was feeling; not even let it show in his eyes; he sat down slowly. In everything he did; he strove not to call attention to himself; managing to offer Ziva a small smile of thanks for her support.

Hawk eyed Gibbs did not miss the battle his distressed agent was waging at the moment. He watched as Tim's face lost its' color; saw how his legs failed to hold him up any longer. Ziva's attempt to encourage him must have sent some seriously negative thought through that brain of his; painfully, negative; judging by his body's reaction to it; even his breathing had gotten harsh and ragged. Silently watching as thankfully, Ducky; who hadn't stopped watching over his patient; was there to take care of the situation. The M.E. quickly let the agent know he was not alone and began talking him until he was once again able to breathe normal and pull himself together. Waiting until Tim's breathing was under control before shifting his attention; Gibbs breathed a sigh of relief when that moment arrived.

Wanting to make it easier on the Tim; let him win this battle; with privacy; Gibbs shooed Ziva back to work and silently turned his attention to the Director; knowing she would need to be prodded to leave Tim. Knowing Ducky would handle his agent for him; Gibbs escorted Jenny out of MTAC and walked with her back to her office.

As he walked beside her; he couldn't help but mentally head-slap himself. _Hadn't he; himself just bullied Tim yesterday; damn was it just yesterday; about not letting these bastards contieue to sucker-punch him?_ What the hell had he been thinking? Tim didn't have a say in anything these bastards were doing!

"Jethro?"

"He needs some room to breathe, Jen. Even though he suspected this would happen; it's like he said; he keeps getting thrown back in the ring with these bastards."

"I'll make some calls and see what I can find out, Jethro. I'm removing your team from lead of the active roster."

"Good. I won't split them up again; like we did this past week, Jen. It's not safe for them, like that. These bastards are too slick and I'm not losing anyone on my team to them!" Gibbs wasn't backing down.

"I agree, your team will keep your Protection Details" Jenny told him quietly; before she went back to her office.

Looking at his watch after Jenny left him to go back to her office; Gibbs noticed it was nearing 7. Past time to call it a night. Taking out his phone; he called Tony.

"Boss?

"Where's the Protection Brigade?" Gibbs term for all 5 of the agents assigned to protect the four of them; brought Tony to a standstill. Looking around for them; he couldn't see any of them!

"Boss; I'm not seeing them."

Gibbs snapped his phone shut and turned on his heel; hightailing it to Jen's office. Storming her door; he point-blank asked her; "Where are they?" his voice steely with anger.

"Who, Jethro?"

"The Protection detail you assigned my team!"

"What do you mean, where are they? They're supposed to be with the lot of you! I thought you had them waiting for you down at your desks."

"Well, I wouldn't be in here asking you where they are if they were; now would I?

Storming out to the Mezzanine level overlook; Jenny whipped her cell phone out as she walked.

"Special Agent Tripp; this is Director Shepard; I need to know where you and your partner are. Call me back ASAP."

No sooner had she hung up; than her phone rang. Answering it; she quickly grew angry.

"You're where? I don't care! You get yourselves in here; to my office immediately! ALL of you!" snapping her phone shut; she abruptly ended the call.

"I don't believe it!" she fumed. Looking at Gibbs; she reluctantly admitted; "Jethro; they went home! They assumed their jobs were done for the evening and went home!"

_"And to think; I promised Tim that I trusted them."_ Gibbs muttered.

"I'm not following you." Jenny replied; not understanding.

"You got this?" Gibbs asked; pointing to her phone; obviously referring to the wayward agents.

"Of course, Jethro." She replied.

"Call me when you get them back in place. McGee needs to get outta here." Gibbs requested as he headed back to MTAC. Backtracking to MTAC; Gibbs silently entered; wanting to see from a distance; how his agent was holding up. Watching from inside the door; he noticed the young man hadn't moved from his seat. Ducky had apparently given up in his attempts to get him to eat the apple he'd offered earlier; and set it down next to Tim. Unable to see what needed to be done next; Gibbs walked to the front row of seats and looked him over for a silent minute.

Not liking what he was seeing; Gibbs looked to Ducky. Ducky got up and approached Gibbs; knowing the Senior Agent needed an update.

"Jethro; he may need to be given a sleep agent to help him sleep through the night. He has eaten well today; so he should be fine on that. And, as I'm sure you're aware; he should not be left alone right now."

"Yeah. Duck. I know. Wasn't' plannin on letting him be alone. Was planning on getting him outta here now. But, we have to wait for his idiotic protection detail to get back here." Gibbs fumed; lowering his voice; not wanting Tim to hear about it.

"Oh?"

"Yeah, it seems they thought their day was done; and went home. I don't want this getting back to Tim. He needs to know he can trust them. I'll take care of it." Gibbs instructed. "You go ahead; Duck; I'll stay with him. I want to talk to him anyway. Bring me some of whatever it is you want him to take home with him. Leave it on my desk before you go"

"All right, Jethro." Ducky smiled and left.

"Hey." Gibbs greeted the broodingly quiet agent; as he sat down next to him.

"Boss." Tim whispered in return.

"You okay? And remember, I don't want you hiding anything. I want your honest answer. How are you?" Gibbs asked him quietly

"Scared." Tim whispered; looking down at his hand on the arm of the chair. "I've never wanted to be so wrong about anything in my entire life."

"I know this is really hard for you, Tim and I wish; we all wish we could help you get through this. So, you'll have to let us know how we can help, all right?"

"Thanks, Boss." Tim answered; his voice unchanged.

"Tim, can you tell me; what thought crossed your mind when Ziva promised you she would do her best to find your family?" Gibbs asked.

"That it's probably too late." Tim admitted; the painful truth of that probability bringing tears to his eyes as he raised his head and looked up at the ceiling; giving himself a second to let the tears escape. "It popped into my head; it hit me so fast; it was like someone was telling me that it was already done."

"I am sorry." Gibbs offered; angry with himself for not finding the time earlier in this nightmare; to make sure Tim's family was safe. "I should have taken care of this sooner. No matter what."

Tim looked over at Gibbs for a long silent moment before he jumped up and started to bolt from MTAC. Halfway to the door; he stopped and turned back toward Gibbs; "Boss. Please, don't!" Tim's eyes; still wet with tears; begged him to listen; his voice broken in pain; "I can't handle you taking the guilt for any of this. It only makes it hurt so much worse." Tim turned back to the door and fled MTAC.

Gibbs let him go. It was obvious the young man needed to do something with himself; and Gibbs needed to think. His phone rang. "Yeah. Gibbs."

"I need to see you in my office." Jenny's no nonsense voice cut through.

"Be right there." Gibbs answered. Ending the conversation with Jenny; he closed his eyes for a minute. Damn; why did this have to keep getting so damn painful for this kid? "Hadn't he been kicked enough? Breathing out a sigh of frustration; he dialed Tony.

"Boss?"

"Tony, any sign of Tim?"

"Yeah, Boss; he's sitting at his desk; typing away in a frenzy. He came down from MTAC like the devil was riding his back and got straight to whatever it is; he's doing." Tony sounded worried.

"All right. You're his buffer; and his shadow; until either I or his protection detail get back down there.. You make sure everyone leaves him alone; including you; until I get down there. If he gets up to go somewhere; you stay on him!" Gibbs instructed. "I'll be in with the Director."

"On it, Boss." Tony answered; ending the call.

* * *

When the door to Jenny's office slammed shut behind Gibbs as he walked in; there was no longer any question of just who it was they needed to be worried about dealing with. Kinney, Tripp; King, Fielding and Sprinkle; all of them now actually shook a little with fear. This only served to light a larger fire under Gibbs' fury.

He looked at Jen; his eyes blazing with the full blaze of his rage; _"Is this the best you got?"_ he demanded; nodding his head in the direction of the mortified agents.

"You know it is, Agent Gibbs." She stuck to her guns.

**"NCIS Protection Detail Agents** **DO NOT SHAKE WITH FEAR! THEY DO NOT RELIEVE THEMSELVES OF DUTY! THEY DO NOT WALK AWAY FROM A JOB UNDONE!!"** Gibbs roared as he turned around to face the ones he was angry at.

Jen could almost see the smoke coming out of Jethro's ears; he was so angry. She hadn't seen him this angry in a very long time. If she didn't know any better; she would think this was a bit too much; even coming from him.

Gibbs turned back to her again; took a minute to calm down and asked her another question. "Have you filled them in?"

"Yes, Agent Gibbs; they've been made aware of the developments in the case; as well as the error of their ways." Jenny promised him.

"Yeah? Is that right? Well, then they're ready to hear what I have to say!" Gibbs warned her with a touch of attitude.

"Fire away, Agent Gibbs." Jenny replied.

_"Don't tempt me!"_ Gibbs muttered angrily. To which; she could only smile in understanding.

_"Agent Tripp!. Agent Kinney!. I told you the first day you were assigned to protect my agent; not to let him out of your sight; did I not?"_

"Yes, Sir. Agent Gibbs." Both agents answered together.

_"Did you get an order to the contrary?"_ Gibbs asked with a definite touch of sarcasm.

"No, Agent Gibbs; we did not." Tripp admitted.

_"Are you in the habit of disregarding a direct order because you get tired of following it?"_ Gibbs persisted.

"No, Agent Gibbs."

"Explain yourself."

"Sir, with every one of you up in MTAC; we mistakenly believed that meant our job was done for the evening." Tripp admitted.

"And you verified that with whom; before you left?" Jenny asked; butting in.

"No one. Ma'am. I am deeply sorry. It will never happen again." Tripp's remorse was genuine. The update had shaken him up. He had a deeper appreciation for the job he had to do now and just hoped he'd be given the chance to get it right.

"I am only going to say this one time. So you had better be listening real well!" Gibbs' voice boomed out at them.

"While you are on Protection Detail Duty on this team; you do things my way. Right now; with the situation as serious as it is; there is no room for this kind of screw-up! My agents; that you're responsible for protecting; won't get a second chance; if you screw up! Are we clear?"

"You're here on the Director's orders; not mine. But since you're here; you will damn well protect my agents to the best of your ability. Which means; effective immediately; the agent you are responsible for does not leave your sight! One more screw-up; and …" Gibbs angrily left that one out in the open for speculation.

"Let me ask you a question." Gibbs asked; suddenly much calmer. "What does trust mean to you gentlemen?"

Getting no answer; as apparently they had taken the question to be a rhetorical one; Gibbs let it go and moved on.

"Right now," Looking directly at Tripp and Kinney; Gibbs quietly stated; "The agent _you're_ supposed to be protecting is the target of some psychopath who's been targeting him for at least 2 weeks; has kidnapped and killed his pet; and for all we know; has had something to do with his family's disappearance and is at this moment; lying in wait to get their hands on him! _Right now_; the only reason he's trusting _you_ at all is because _I've_ promised him that _I_ trust you!" Gibbs let his anger rip; as the thought of Tim's precarious sense of trust in the people protecting him being misplaced; pissed Gibbs off to a whole new level.

Jenny at long last understood what had gotten Jethro so fired up. Hell hath no fury like Jethro when someone's trust has been violated on his watch! Jenny knew that one from experience. She thought back to what she had thought to be a cryptic remark from Gibbs earlier: _"And to think; I promised Tim that I trusted them."_

_So, this is what he was referring to._ Jenny realized_._

"And now; he's supposed to understand why his Protection went home while he was still at work? You want me tell him his trust in you wasn't misplaced; that this was just some case of bad judgement on your part?

"Yes, Sir." Tripp and Kinney; remorsefully stated.

"NO!" Gibbs ordered.

"Sir?"  
"Sir?"  
Agent Gibbs?" Even Jenny was confused at this point.

He is not to be told about this! But; this is your last warning! No more screw-ups allowed! Right now; _my_ trust in your ability to protect him is all he's got; outside of his team! You understand me?

"Yes. Sir; Agent Gibbs."

"As for the rest of you? Just because Agent DiNozzo; Officer David and I aren't the specific target; does not mean your responsibility is any less! Do we understand each other? The Agent you are assigned to protect is not to be let out of your sight; with the exception of when they have to use the head.. Every member of this team is just as important as the other! And never forget; there is no excuse for tunnel vision! Stay sharp at all times!"

"Yes, sir." Five voices answered him; everyone of them subdued and put in their place.

Gibbs looked at Jenny; and seeing that she wasn't done with them; he compromised.

"10 minutes!" before he stormed out and made his way back to his desk; still pissed at their stupidity.

When Gibbs was gone from Jenny's office; you could hear five sighs of relief.

"Gentlemen! Don't get comfortable." Jenny warned; she herself; was angry enough to keep the screamfest going; but knowing Gibbs was antsy to get his agents home; cut it short. "Each member of Agent Gibbs' team would and will take a bullet for each other. They expect no less from you. Don't lose sight of that."

"You may go; take up your posts; and as Agent Gibbs ordered; do not discuss this.. This is a second chance for each of you. Do not disappoint me. Do not fail this team! Don't come home without them."

As they filed out of her office; Jenny made one exception; knowing she would have to keep it short before she; herself pissed Gibbs off; "Agent Fielding; a moment, please."

When Agent Fielding was the only one left in her office with her, Jenny turned to him and smiled before she had her say:

"Agent Fielding; I'm not sure you're aware of this or not; but yours is the toughest Protection Assignment out of the bunch. I just wanted to ask you if you were aware of that."

"No, Ma'am. It was my understanding that each of those team members were as important as the others." Fielding replied.

"To an extent, Agent Fielding; to an extent. You need to be aware that all of Agent Gibbs' agents look upon him extremely highly. Every one of the people on his team; even Dr. Mallard and Abby; would take a bullet for that man. They've already lost one teammate. Before she died; she did take a bullet for him.; not the same bullet that ended her life; no. But the point here is; if anything happens to him; yours will be the worst hell to pay. I just thought I would let you know that so that you'll have adequate idea of what your job is, exactly." Jenny said with a smile.

"Thank you, Ma'am." Agent Fielding answered.

"You may go. Do your job well; and you'll have nothing to worry about." Jenny encouraged; as she held the door open for him.

Once downstairs; the group of them left in their assigned pairs. With Tony and Abby being escorted home by Agent King; first. Only a few moments later found Ziva being escorted out of the building by Agent Sprinkle.

Once Gibbs and Tim were the only ones left; Gibbs sent all three agents ahead to the garage; to secure it and bring his car around to the front door. Gibbs didn't feel like worrying about the safety and security of the garage tonight. Looking over at his still typing agent; he frowned. Tim had been steadily typing away since he'd returned to the squad room earlier. What the hell was he working on?

"McGee!"

"Boss?"

"What the hell are you so busy doing over there?" Gibbs asked

"Busy work." Was the only answer he got. Tim quickly put it all away and closed up shop for the night.; not looking Gibbs in the eye.

_A battle for another day_; Gibbs thought wearily; deciding to leave it alone for tonight. There had been enough stuff to get through already today.

On a last minute whim; Gibbs called Jenny; as they drove out of the Navy yard.

"Jethro; don't tell me you're still here?" Jenny asked in exasperation.

"No. already out of the yard, Jen. Just calling to tell you I'm keeping Tim out of work tomorrow; he needs a break." Gibbs' alarm bells started going off when Tim's face quickly became alarmed. He'd address his agent's issue with this soon enough. First; he had to get Jen to be cool with it.

"That's fine; as a matter of fact keep Tony and Ziva with you tomorrow, too. Keep the protection agents. They need to get to know your team better and stay sharp around them everywhere, anyway." Jenny answered.

"Thanks. Jen." Gibbs ended the conversation and put his phone away. Without even looking over at Tim; he spoke to him; "Out with it! What is so important you have to go to work tomorrow?"

"Do you trust me?" was Tim's shocking question in response to Gibbs' own question

"Well, that's kinda like asking a stupid question, don'tchya think?" Gibbs answered without batting an eye.

"I need to get done with what I was working on tonight." Tim told him in a tone that left no room for doubt that it was important to him

"How long wll it take you to finish whatever it is?" Gibbs asked patiently

"If I don't have any interruptions; I should be done by late tomorrow afternoon." Tim vowed in confidence. "It'll be easier if i can work down in the sub-basement."

"Okay, Tim; we'll do it your way; if and only if you eat well between now and then; and all day tomorrow; AND get a good night sleep tonight!" Gibbs ordered.

"I can only promise to do my best, Boss." Tim told him honestly.

"That's good enough for me." Gibbs agreed.

Once safely in Gibbs' house; Tim's appetite once again; seemed to have escaped him; forcing him to down a couple of nutrition shakes before Gibbs was satisfied enough to let him go to bed.

With his family missing; Tim found sleep to be more elusive than his appetite had been. After genuinely trying to make himself fall asleep for almost an hour; he gave up in total frustration.

_I'm never gonna see Mom, Dad or Sarah again! Whoever's after me; took them first; I just know it! I can feel it! I'm next. I just know it. Somehow; they're gonna get their hands on me; I just know it! It's coming. Soon!_

Knowing Gibbs was finding solace and the ability to think by working on his boat in the basement; Tim felt more alone and more scared than he ever had before in his life. All of sudden he found it too painful and difficult to be alone; knowing it was dumb; but he did it anyway; pulled out his phone and hit the speed dial he needed the most; while the call was going through; his tears began to flow; and the sobs worked their way up out of his heart.

As the emotional wave got bigger and more out of control; he heard the voice of reason answer his call to be rescued; finally.

"Tim?

"Hlp... me..." he stammered in between his now river of tears and heart-wrenching sobs; his soul so battered and beaten; he felt like he was drowning in the overwhelming wave of misery; moments from giving up and giving in; he could only give in; despite the difficulty he was having in breathing; he curled up in a ball; beginning to rock himself in a vain effort to find comfort through the agony that was ripping his heart out.

"Hang on, Tim; I'm comin!" Gibbs tried to comfort him; verbally throw him a life-line; over the phone as he raced up the stairs to the kitchen and up the next set of stairs to the guest bedroom. Skidding to a stop; he quickly took in the state his agent was in.

"Oh. Tim! Why didn't you come downstairs and talk to me?" Gibbs asked in anquish as he sat down on the bed. "I told you; I'm here for you!" Quickly; he pulled Tim onto his lap and up into an embrace; holding him securely through the raging storm. "It's gonna be okay. Just let it out, son." Gibbs encouraged soothingly.

With the certainty that had filled his heart; Tim was genuinely grieving. Gibbs realized this when it occurred to him the depth of pain and sorrow which this young man was pouring out; was coming from the depths of his soul. It wasn't letting up; showed no sign of easing. As he held on to his surrogate son; through his darkest hour; Gibbs could only cry with him; grieve for his loss; and continue to keep him grounded in the physical reality that someone was here to hold him up. He wasn't going through it alone and he would not be allowed to drown in the blackness that was threatening his soul.


	14. Coming Out of The Dark

**Chapter 14**

Gibbs found himself awake; feeling stiff; disorientated and badly in need of a hot shower to get moving right. Looking around him; trying to get his bearings; he realized he was still sitting on the bed in Tim's room; still holding the young man up. Apparently; while Tim had fallen asleep letting go his grief and pain; Gibbs had fallen asleep holding him through it all. Looking at his watch; he was shocked to see that it was five in the morning. Taking a minute to listen to Tim's breathing as he slept; Gibbs was relieved to hear that it was normal and steady; peaceful sleep for the young man. Carefully shifting him to the bed; Gibbs waited a couple of minutes before getting up; wanting to make sure his sleep wasn't disturbed.

As soon as he was clear of the bed and silently out of the room; he headed for the shower. Thirty relaxed minutes later; coming back down to the kitchen; he checked in on Tim. Finding him still asleep; he continued on to the kitchen to start coffee and breakfast. While waiting for his coffee to brew; his mind started its' own brewing; cycling through the events and discussions of the last few days.

* * *

Checking on his watch; Gibbs found it to be almost 6:30. Knowing that Ducky was always already up at this hour; Gibbs called him; requesting that he stop by on his way to work. Likewise; he made two more such phone calls. Needing to go check on his agent; Gibbs made the phone calls quickly; simply stating his need that the person on the other end stop by on their way to work; and that they bring another of their team members with them. Checking his watch once again; he was relieved to find; that had only taken five minutes and he still had time to do what needed to be done before the team arrived.

First up; checking in on Tim. Climbing the stairs to the guest room; Gibbs could only pray that the young man was all right, this morning. It was pretty much a guarantee; that the "all right" would come out of the best of Tim's ability under the circumstances; but Gibbs would take what he could get. Last night had been incredibly painfully devastating and brutal for him. For a while; Gibbs had not been sure he'd be able to calm his agent enough to get him to sleep. Wonders of all wonders; Tim had made it easy for him; completely wearing himself down; his mind; ultimately escaping behind the veil of sleep he so desperately needed.

Now, as Gibbs set his eyes on the young man in question; there was little physical doubt that last night had been rough on him. The lines under his eyes bore testament to that; as did the haggard look about him. He definately could use more sleep. But; knowing him the way he did; Gibbs knew that sleep was the one thing Tim was least likely to give himself time to do at the moment.

"Mornin!" Gibbs cheerfully greeted his agent; throwing extra effort into for Tim's sake. Listlessly; Tim's eyes opened; searching around the room; as if he were disorientated. Finding Gibbs' their eyes locking; Tim was quick to drop his eyes and blink repeatedly; trying desperately to keep his tears at bay.

Striving to give him the normalcy it seemed he was after; Gibbs simply kept going with his questions. "Are you hungry? Breakfast is almost ready and the team is almost here!"

Tim's face had panic written all over it. "What? Why?" he croaked out.

"I've called them." We're having breakfast together. They've all been very patient; wanting their chance to talk to you; make sure you're all right." Gibbs offered patiently. "Go jump in the shower; you can be dressed by the time they get here." Gibbs suggested as he turned and left his agent in peace.

Tim didn't have the energy to move. He didn't have the willpower to move. He wanted to curl up in a ball and just roll up under a rock somewhere. Didn't Gibbs understand that?

Five quiet minutes later; Gibbs realized Tim hadn't moved from the bed. Yeah; this morning was gonna be tough for the young man. And after the night he had just been through; the boss was completely unwilling to strong arm his agent do to anything. Gibbs was relieved the team was on their way. They would be able to help Tim get back on his feet. Of that, Gibbs had no doubt. He went downstairs to let them in. Maybe, Tim would get up after he left him in peace.

* * *

When the troops arrived; Gibbs ushered them into his living room; where they could all sit and hear what he needed them to hear.

"Frankly; right now; Tim needs all of you. That's why you're here." Gibbs began by explaining; deliberately keeping his voice calm. He needed to get through this quickly so Ducky could go check their patient out.

"We have all witnessed how well his gut instinct works; as well as mine. It was his instinct that said he was in trouble before we even realized he was. He knew his family was in trouble before we found out they were missing. He's been convinced that whoever is behind this will succeed in getting their hands on him; I already told you that."

"Has something else come up, Boss?" Tony asked in concern.

"He is now convinced that his family has already been found, targeted and killed." Gibbs explained quietly.

"NO!" Ducky exlaimed in horror  
"WHAT?" Abby asked in outrage  
"He's Wrong! "Ziva was willing to hold on to that belief.  
Jethro!" Jenny gasped; unthinking about how she addressed him in front of Abby and the others.  
"BOSS!" Tony was deeply concerned.

"You need to understand; that it doesn't matter what or how we feel about this! As of last night, Tim became convinced; felt it in his heart; that his parents and Sarah have been killled. And he allowed himself to grieve for them." Gibbs quiet; measured tone did what it had meant to do; kept everyone focused on exactly what his point was. "Last night was Tim's darkest hour; and I've called you all here to help pick him back up." Gibbs finished his explanation and gave the group a minute to digest what he'd just told them.

The quiet voices could be heard trying to verbally accept and figure everything out. When he heard more than one;" He shouldn't think that way!" Gibbs decided to put his foot down.

"Listen! This isn't about us! You need to understand that when I say 'pick him back up'; I'm not talking about doing it your way. He doesn't need anyone to try to convince him he's wrong. To pick him up; we need to help him move on from where he's at; not where we think he should be! Everyone follow me?"

Among the voices trying to argue his way of thinking; came Ducky's calm voice of reason; completely backing Gibbs up.

"He's absoloutely right! We can not expect anything else from Timothy; other than what he can accept for himself. As painful as this is to consider; we must consider this; ask ourselves; IF Timothy is correct; and these bastards get their hands on him; what would we want him to have to hold onto? What would you have him remember? Hold onto in his heart? Wasted time spent arguing with us about what he should have thought? Or our love and support; and possibly our assistance wherever he may ask for it?"

Giving them a minute to take in what the M.E. had explained to them; Gibbs silently watched and waited.

"Do you get it, now?" Gibbs asked the shocked group standing speechless in front of him.

When he had everyone nodding their heads in shocked agreement; he took a deep breath and was interrupted.

"This team has been taken off Rotation. You have all the time you need to help him." Jenny quietly reassured them. The compassion in her voice was helpful.

"Okay. That means; from this point on; whatever help he asks you for; you're expected to cooperate fully; with no flack. If you have a problem with something he asks you to do; come see me. He obviously has something very important he needs to get done; and we know he's never been one to say that if he didn't mean it. Everyone's safety is still top priority. But, while we're at NCIS; your protection agents aren't required; inside." Gibbs directed.

"Abby; Tim was working on that something last night. He said he could finish it late today if he was left alone. See if you can help him. Keep in mind that you'll probably be able to help him the most with whatever computer stuff he needs done."

"Ziva: talk to him; maybe you can convince him to learn some of your survival techniques and whatever else you can help him with."

"Tony; he needs a buddy. I know that's a tall order; considering the history between you two; but, try it anyway; all right? Maybe take the time to help get him back in shape; teach him some of your "street-cop" smarts?"

"All of you - while you know he hates to be treated with kid gloves; so don't. Just go easy on the irritating harrassment. Let's get him back on his feet; give him back some control in his life,"

"Ducky, after I try to talk to him one more time; we'll need you to start him off; he can't seem to find the will or the energy; or maybe it's both; to get out of bed; this morning. I need you to see what you can do." Gibbs requested; handing the M.E. a nutritional shake for his agent.

"The rest of you; breakfast is ready in the kitchen."

While the rest of the troops piled into the kitchen in search of the promised breakfast. Gbbs and Ducky headed upstairs.

* * *

Taking the lead going up the stairs; Gibbs hoped for the best. Ducky waited out in the hall.

"Tim?" Gibbs asked; watching the young man's eyes for some answers. His agent was laying where he'd left him 15 minutes ago. "You gettin up?"

"I can't, Boss." Tim whispered.

"Talk to me." Gibbs encouraged.

"If I stay right here; everything will be okay."

"Tim, you know better than that."

Tim sat up; angry; ready to lash out; **"Do I? Really? Do you have confirmation that if I stay in this house; these bastards will still be able to do something else to me? Oh, wait; Boss! There is nothing else they can do to me!! Unless; you include; taking me!"** Tim exclaimed; tears streaming down his face. "**Are they gonna storm your house to do that? Seems to me; if that were the case they would've done it already!"**

Gibbs was willing to admit Tim had a point. "Doesn't mean you should just lie there and give up! I thought we talked about this already!"

**"Oh, we did! BEFORE they got my family!"** Tim was almost screaming now. His heart so broken; his feeling of helplessness so sharp; it cut like a knife.

"Tim; believe it or not; I do understand what you're saying. It's obvious that you need some more time to pull yourself together. Ducky's here. He wants to see you." Gibbs explained as he turned and left. Looking sadly at the M.E. on his way out. Gibbs silently prayed that the team could get Tim back where he'd failed; and hopefully; convince him to get up and get back to living.

Ducky compassionately patted Gibbs on the arm as they passed each other. When he entered the guest bedroom; Ducky was relieved to find the young man was at least calm; even if he was staring at the ceiling. He had laid back down on his back; tense and obviously miserable; with tears streaming down his face.

"Good morning, Timothy." Ducky said with a bit of enthusiasm. "I've brought you something to start your morning off right. If you're hungry after you drink this; breakfast is ready in the kitchen."

Tim turned over to the side; so he could face Ducky. "I can't Ducky." the young man answered brokenly; through his tears. "I have nothing left to give these people; except myself; and my team is fighting too hard to keep that from happening. But; the only way to keep it from happening is to stay right here."

"You don't really believe that, do you, Timothy" Ducky asked; his voice chock full of concern.

"Yes, Ducky. I do!"

"Timothy, may I remind you of something?"

"Sure, Ducky; go ahead." Tim answered despondedly

* * *

Gibbs retreated back downstairs; Tim's words echoing in his head.

"Ziva!"

When the Mosad Liason came back into the kitchen; from her seat at the dining room table; as he called her; Gibbs told her; "I still think that you're the one he needs to talk to the most."

"I will talk to him, Gibbs." Ziva promised with fire in her eyes.

* * *

Ducky silently slipped into the kitchen; joining the team for some breakfast. He was encouraged at his ability to get Tim to agree to get up and come down for some breakfast. As he waited for the young man to put in appearance; he contemplated what he'd felt led to remind the young man.

_"Timothy; have you forgotten about Gibbs' tragic loss?"_

_"course not, Ducky." Tim's voice had been full of sadness for their fearless leader._

_"Timothy, I also have to ask you; Would your family want you to do this?" Ducky asked._

_"No. Ducky, they would want me to do my job and find whoever's responsible. Until they found out that it happened to them because of me!"_

_"Timothy; while I agree that your family would not want you to put yourself in harms way; I do believe they would not want you to become a quittter. I do believe they would want you to do what you've been trained to do and catch these bastards." Ducky encouraged._

_"I know, Ducky. I know."_

_"Gibbs is doing his best to keep you safe; even from yourself, young man. Please be kind enough to respect that and do not make it too terribly difficult for him. Come down to breakfast. Make the effort to regain your strength."_

_"I'll be down in a minute, Ducky. And you already know how I feel about Gibbs. I would never deliberately hurt him or disprespect him. I know I wasn't being fair earlier. I'll apologise to him later." Tim said meekly._

_"Be prepared for him to not even be concerned about it; Timothy; he's well aware of your suffering and need to lash out. __Quite frankly; my dear boy; we all are." Ducky promised._

_"Yeah, but it shouldn't have been at him!" Tim muttered angrily to himself._

* * *

Tim's gut was churning so badly it was physically painful. He couldn't tell if it was just because he felt horribly for screaming at Gibbs like he had; or if it was from what he knew about his family; or his hunger. He knew he'd lost his family. He'd done what he could to come to terms with that last night. And; just as Tim had known he could; he'd been able to lean on Gibbs to see him through what he hoped had been the worst of it.

Feeling the sudden overwhelming need to see the morning news; Tim slipped downstairs to the living room and turned on the news. Standing in front of the television; Tim was glued to the spot; as the news story currently on was; in fact; about a firey auto accident. Without even thinking; he turned the volume up; not wanting to have to strain to hear it. Still glued to the spot; lost in the horror of the actual footage of what he knew in his heart; was the crash of his family's car; the death of his family.

When the newscaster reported that the footage was taken yesterday; and that the three bodies inside had not yet been confirmed; but that all died upon impact with the ravine; Tim felt his heart squeezed painfully; to the point where he couldn't breathe. Dropping to his knees; he put his head down and fought to catch his breath.

* * *

When ten minutes had passed with no sign of Timothy; Ducky was beginning to worry; when he noticed Jethro was frowning. Watching the Senior Agent; Ducky noticed the frown as it changed to a look of horror; as he set his coffee cup down and raced out of the kitchen; flying toward his living room. Ducky quickly followed Gibbs' down the hall; knowing the team was right behind him.

Gibbs skidded to a stop in front of his television; his eyes vollying between the horrible sight of the car crash on the news; and his obviously devastated agent; on his knees on the living room floor; his face almost blue from the fight to find his breath; his shoulders shaking. Thankfully; Ducky was there in mere seconds; helping him regain his breath. Standing by; helplessly; the team could only watch the news and keep an eye on Ducky and Tim.

Once Tim had his breath back; he couldn't find the ability to move. Ducky looked to Gibbs; unsure if he wanted them to leave the young man to make the next move for himself. Before any of them could move to help him; Tim struggled to his feet and bolted from the room; making a beeline for Gibbs' basement. His feet could be heard pounding down each step. Shortly thereafter; the rhythmic beating he began giving the punching bag could clearly be heard upstairs.

Everyone on the team remained rooted in their shoes; where they stood. They knew this was the best thing for him right now. Turing the television down; Gibbs sat down to scour the channels to learn as much as he could about the accident while Jenny heaed back to NCIS to go through the channels available to her; for all that she can find out. Abby headed to the dining room to scour the internet on Tim's computer; for what she can dig up.

Tony and Ziva; while listening to the reports on the news; also kept an ear out for Tim's progress downstairs. The beating of the bag hadn't let up. No one wantd to disturb the young man. Only he knew what he needed right now. That much was painfully obvious.

When all television channels have been searched to the fullest extent; some thirty minutes later; Gibbs turned the "idiot box" off and went to the kitchen to get a refill of coffee. He was concerned; not only for the fresh dose of pain his young agent had just been given; but for the fact that Tim hadn't eaten anything yet this morning. The boss in him wanted to order everyone to do something to find the people responsible for this tragedy. However; he knew; at the moment; the well-being of his youngest surrogate son was more important and couldn't be left up to the rest of the team without him; since he was the one Tim had chosen to confide in; and allowing himself to be himself around; without shields or masks. There was no way that Gibbs was just gonna hand him off; like a football; for someone else to talk to. Until Tim was ready to get back into the fight; Gibbs needed to be available for him to talk to. Even if this wasn't his comfort zone; he'd succeeded at much tougher assignments than this before.

Even when he recalled Tim's outburst earlier; Gibbs refused to get angry about it. Tim's point had been valid and his anger had been more than justified. It was only the direction his anger had been let out; that had been off; and that had been unintentionally. Tim's words from their conversation they'd had the other night reverberated through Gibbs mind:

_"Boss, you're only human. I know these last two weeks have been harder on you than anyone realizes. You've had to hold me up; hold Abby up; keep the team focused; keep us going; run more investigations. Put up with my meltdowns; keep the peace; you've had more on your plate than the rest of us put together. And now, you're worried that you've said too much on my account? Please, cut yourself some slack for once!"_

_"You've never liked having to worry about all this personal stuff; the more personal; the more you've hated it; and now you've been stuck in the middle of it; and not only have you held me up; kept me going; but, I've never once seen or heard you get angry with me about it. I think you're destined for Sainthood. I certainly don't have a damn thing to complain about. In fact; I'm the last person on this team who should have anything to complain about right now."_

_"I know this team had been tied up in knots over this crap. I know they want to help. They're upset because I act like nothing's wrong. Everyone thinks I don't hear or see this stuff. But, I do. But, it's like I tried to explain to you, Boss. I have to do it that way. It's the only way I can handle it at work."_

Looking at his watch; Gibbs noted it had been well over an hour since he'd turned the televison off. Almost two hours since Tim had started beating on the bag. Chomping at the bit to go check on him; he headed toward the basement stairs; only to find Tony in his way; the look on his Senior Field Agent's face lett it be known that this is where Tony wanted to be allowed in.

Nodding his head; and stepping back, Gibbs handed the responsibility over to Tony; prayed he could do better than he, himself had done earler. Hoping someone would be able to get Tim to talk to him again; at least long enough for Gibbs to remind the young man of the promise he made not to give up. Listening to Tony's feet descend into the basement; Gibbs turned to go search for Abby and Ziva. Ducky had taken himself off to the couch; to contemplate the events of the morning; and consider what should be done next. It's a chance for him to catch his breath.

Ziva and Abby are conferenced in the dining room; huddled over Tim's laptop; searching for more news of their teammate's family. Gibbs sadly left them to it; as he headed back to the kitchen; anxious to be available should his boys need his help. Itching to crack the door open and listen to their conversation; Gibbs fought the urge; and respectfully let them have their privacy; turning, instead; to the living room to go keep Ducky in companionable silent company while he waited for the next shoe to drop. Sitting down in his recliner; he layed his head back and rested his eyes; and his mind.

* * *

"Hey, Probie!" Tony threw all the exuberance into his tone that he could muster.

"Tony." Tim's quiet response was certainly unnerving; but Tony held steady; after all; he had a job to do, here.

"From the way you're tearing into that punching bag; it's a pretty safe bet that you're pissed at someone. Not that any of us blame you; but who is it that you're really pissed at? "Bossman?"

"No!" Tim stopped beating the bag. He was done. He had no energy left. He hadn't eaten this morning.

"Probie; don't lie to yourself, like that. It's okay to be pissed at Gibbs. He'll be the first one to tell you that." Tony bullied him into being more honest.

"He's human, Tony. He can't solve everything!"

"No, but that doesn't stop us from feeling like he could've stopped one more disaster for us; does it? He always seems so damn able to take care of everything else; right?" There is no teasing in Tony's voice. He'd been at this place before; where as much as thinks of Gibbs; he got angry when Gibbs couldn'tt fix something that was wrong in Tony's life.

"Yeah."

"That's a conditioned response; comes from having the best damn Team Leader available. There's just one tiny flaw in your way of looking at this; though, Probie."

"Yeah? What flaw is that Tony?"

"You can't tell the bossman not to blame himself for any of this and then turn around and scream at him; talk to him like crap; because you blame him for it. It doesn't work that way, Probie".

"How..?"

"You don't _really_ think you're that quiet when you're _screaming_ at the man; _do you_?"

"I know, Tony; I know. I feel horrible about it, I really do. Why do you think I've stayed out of his way all morning?" Some of Gibbs' words come back to his mind.

_"Tim. ... you don't have to worry about any of it. You just focus on staying strong. Keep getting stronger. Get that appetite back; keep that fighting spirit. Don't think; even for a second; of just giving up!"_

_"You just make sure you don't forget for a minute; that you're an important part of this team; this family; you hear me?"_

"So, you think he'll feel better; worry less about you; if you go out of your way to avoid him, now? I know you have a hellofa lot on your mind, Probie; but even you know better than to think Gibbs' mind works that way! "You're actually hurting him doing this. And I think you know that."

"You _really_ think I would deliberately hurt him?" Tim was pissed. He knew that Tony knew better than that.

**"You wanna _NOT_ hurt him? Do what he'd do if this target was on _his_ back! **

**Fight Back! You wanna do that? You wanna beat these bastards? You want the team to be able to help you beat them? Then get off your ass; and get back in the fight! Give us something to work with!"**

"Tony."

"Yeah, Probie?"

"Thanks."

"You're welcome! Now, get your ass upstairs and eat something. Eat a lot of something. You've got both Ducky and Gibbs worried sick about you. And we all know, Gibbs doesn't do 'worried' well."

Smiling at Tony; Tim took the gloves off and headed upstairs; Tony on his heels. As both guys came up to the kitchen; Tim washed his hands in the sink while Tony most happily hollered:

**"Boss! Whattya got that ole Tim here can scarf down? The boy's starving!"**

Both Ducky and Gibbs practically flew into the kitchen. It was the rare foot-race the team would have loved to have captured on video. Abby and Ziva were right behind the older two as they all piled into the kitchen; relieved beyond measure to have Tim back upstairs; and apparently looking better. Except, that is; for his refusal to meet Gibbs' eyes.

While Abby and Ziva were concerned about that; the guys knew it was because Tim was riddled with guilt at how he'd talked to Gibbs. But, only Tim and Gibbs knew just how bad Tim really felt about it. Gibbs knew Tim wouldn't let go of it until they talked about it; so that was something that had to be done soon; or the kid would drive himself crazy over it. That would not help him re-focus and get back in the frame of mind he needed to be in.

After everyone calmed down: Tim calmly stated. "I need to go to my apartment. It's time to clear it out. Please."

If he was expecting a fight; he was in for a surprise. He got none; except who was gonna be his driver. Smiling at his teammates fighting over him; Tim put a stop to that real quick. "Guys! I appreciate all of you; really, I do. But, I need to go with Gibbs. I need to talk to him on the way; anyway." Tim admitted. Again; he got no argument. Who was gonna argue when Tim McGee openly _admitted_ he needed to talk to the bossman? Heh; no one on _his_ team!

They were all relieved to see him admit it; actually. With a small smile; he asked Gibbs if they can wait until he took a quick shower; before they all head to his apartment; thanking the team; again; for their willingness to help. After he headed back upstairs; the team set about cleaning up from breakfast and packing up to go to Tim's apartment; to help him clear it out.

"Boss? Clear out his apartment?" Tony is more concerned now than he had been before he went downstairs to talk to McGee. "Are we back to him giving up? He's preparing to lay down and play dead for them; just putting his affairs in order, first?" Tony's tone was steadily climbing in volume and anger.

The rest of the team stopped in their tracks; wanting; needing to hear the answer.

No, Tony." Gibbs said quietly. "It's about his belief that if he can't handle cleaning out his apartment; Jethro's belongings; he won't be able to handle whatever else these bastards throw at him. It's about proving to himself that he _can _do this. That he i_s_ still a fighter!"

Everyone went silent on that note; too much had happened and there was too much to mull over. Lost in their own thoughts of how the could be of any help to their hurting teammate and friend; the team; as a group; was more quiet than they had been in a very long time. This silence is what greeted Tim when he came back downstairs from his shower. Seeing his team; all silent; sitting around Gibbs' kitchen table; waiting for him; brought a wise-crack to mind; without any thought; until the thought behind it caught up to the actual situation at hand; it quickly changed the oncoming grin to a delayed frown; one he fought hard to let show; which resulted in Tim forcing himself to stop short; and quickly turn away from the group and work at getting a drink he didn't really want from the sink.

When he'd regained his composure; he turned and faced his team. "Ready?"

Gibbs; having seen Tim's struggle as he'd walked in the door; could only smile encouragingly at him and nod his head that yes, they were ready.

Abby and Tony volunteered to leave first; they wanted to stop and pick up some boxes to work with. Giving them a 15 minute head start; Ziva and Ducky headed out next; wanting to give Gbbs and Tim backup; even though all protection agents were in place; Ziva was uncomfortable and unwilling to take any chances. Gibbs had no reason to argue with her logic; and handing over the keys to Tim's apartment; he agreed with her plan that she and Tony; along with their extra agents; secure Tim's apartment before he and Tim got there. With everyone else gone in front of them; and only the three extra agents to escort them; Gibbs and Tim were once again; alone; and needing to talk. They hadn't gone far; when Tim; deciding the time for wasting time; was long gone; he; for one; had not time to waste; hell; he barely had any to spare; he damn sure wasn't gonna waste any of it.

"Boss; I need you to put aside how you feel about apologies for a few minutes." Tim's voice was quiet; but firm

"Okay." Gibbs was unwilling to waste any time discussing how he felt about something that; at this time; was too important to talk out.

"Ducky told me; I would be wasting my breath apologising to you for this morning because you weren't pissed about it anyway. He basically said you were giving me all the slack I needed because of this mess. I just need to say; I am really; really sorry. I did not mean to take any of this out on you!"

"Tim. Listen to me. It's obvious that you wish you had handled things differently this morning. I get that. You think I don't know you better than that? It happens. Ducky's right. I'm not pissed about it. I accept your apology. I appreciate it. Really. But it's done. We've moved on."

"Thanks, Boss."

"I do want to ask you about what you said to me yesterday in MTAC."

"Oh, God. I'm sorry, Boss; I know I was wrong to go off like that."

"Wait. What? Go off like what? I just need to know what you meant." Gibbs was baffled.

_"I can't handle you taking the guilt for any of this. It only makes it hurt so much worse."_

"It goes back to what I told you the other night, Boss. Now, that it's true in reality and not just in abstract...You're all I've got..." Tim turned his head away from his boss; and silently wiped away his tears. Taking a deep breath; he squared his shoulders and struggled to calm his resurfacing wave of pain and sorrow.

Gibbs silently waited; knowing the young man was fighting to keep it all under wraps; wishing he'd realize he didn't have to.

Tim kept going: "For you to blame yourself because I'm being targeted; it just... well, it just twists the knife. I can't really explain it any better than that." Tim's voice was breaking; full of pain; not surprising; given the circumstances.

"It's okay. I get it, Tim." Gibbs admitted somberely. "I want you to do something for me."

"What?"

"Let go. Stop fighting so hard to keep it all in; no one here; is going to pass judgement on you; because you need to grieve some more."

"I know, Boss. But, I can't. I just... I can't."

"Ok. I'm not gonna push. I just think you're hurting yourself worse; when you fight so hard to bottle it up; the way you have been."

"I'm okay. I have to do it this way." The break in Tim's voice spoke volumes of what he was really feeling.

"And the unfulfilled promise I made you to check on your family and make sure they weren't being targeted?" Gibbs asked with a ton of regret and heart felt apology in his voice.

"You're only human, Boss; You had a ton of things on your plate. You tried." Tim's voice was still quiet and emotional.

"Tim. It's okay to be more than a little pissed here." Gibbs couldn't help but try to push him to let his anger out.

"Boss, if I went there; they would win for sure. I can't give them that. If, they do get their hands on me; I want to be mentally past this. I know it's a tall order; but if I'm not; if I'm still letting this dictate my life; they've beaten me already. I won't stand a chance of staying alive until you find me; if I give in to this."

"Good for you, Tim. I'm proud of you. That doesn't mean that this whole mess isn't wrong. Because it is! It's way past wrong; but the way you're wanting to handle it; well, I'm proud of you. I know your parents would be, too."

"That's what makes this so damn hard." Tim's voice finally broke completely and he turned his head to the window; his reflection seen in the window; giving testimony to the tears; now a steady flowing river down his face.

"I know, Tim" Gibbs could only sympathise with him.

"No, Boss; you can't know. You've never been the reason your family was killed." Tim sobbed.

Gibbs felt the knife twist in his own wound. Tim was right; there was no one here who could undestand what he was going through. Gibbs' family hadn't been killed because of him; thier deaths' had been purely criminal revenge. It hadn't been to send a message.

It would be useless and time wasted to try to convince this young man that he was not responsible for the death of his family. It would only serve to pour salt on that wound for him. He did not deserve that. Ziva was the only one who could remotely understand what this kid was going through.

"Oh, God! Boss; I am so sorry!" Tim sobbed harder; now genuinely upset at what he percieved as a cruel dig at Gibbs' personal pain.

"Hey. It's okay. You're absolutely right; Shannon and Kelly weren't killed because of me. There's nothing I or anyone else can say that can ease that pain for you, Tim; no matter how badly we wish we could; and believe me; every one of us wish that we could do at least that much for you. I know it hurts and I know that right now; you don't see where you're gonna fnd the strength to go on; but you just keep your family's pride in your accomplishments; safe inside your brain; don't let go of it. Never lose sight of how proud they were of you!"

Tim's sobbs continued.

Gibbs left him alone; giving him the peace and quiet he needed to let it out; so he could pull himself together and put things back into place for himself. Tim wanted to get through this; wanted to fight. That was all Gibbs needed to know. He would make sure the kid was up to the challenge; so he could once again; brave this fight he'd been thrown into.

Twenty minutes later; Gibbs looked over at Tim; once again; as he had periodically all the way to Tim's apartment. By this time; Tim had managed to put his emotions away. Obviously, he'd learned more from Gibbs; than the bossman had realized. Turning off the car; Gibbs turned in his seat; so that he was facing his passenger.

"Don't ever let go of the fact that I'm damn proud of you, too. We all are."

"Thank you." Tim whispered as he struggled to put the "I'm okay" mask on.

"Ready?"

"Ready as I'll ever be!"

Yup; Gibbs was _damn_ proud of him; even more so now.


	15. The Long Hard Road

Stepping out of Gibbs' car; already feeling exhausted and emotionally drained; Tim now felt a shiver of fear run down his spine. Refusing to let Gibbs see it; not wanting his boss to have to spend any more time trying to make him feel better; or worry about him; he squared his shoulders and looked to Agents Kinney and Tripp for the security they were supposed to bring to him. Gibbs assigned Agents King, Sprinkle and Fielding to watch the cars; the parking lot; for any suspicious activity or persons.

Making his way slowly up to his apartment; Tim still couldn't bring himself to relax until he sensed Gbbs presence at his shoulder as they entered the building.

Gibbs was still keeping a sharp eye on Tim. He hadn't missed the war the young man had waged with himself before getting out of the car; or the tenseness he didn't release until he felt Gibbs behind him. Gibbs hoped this inability to feel safe would fade; but; knew it was an uphill battle.

Once inside his apartment; Tim shed his uneasy feeling so readily it was easy to see the difference in his demeanor immediately. Silently watching to see what he would do next; Gibbs stopped in the doorway between the living room and kitchen; leaning against it as he watched over his team. Almost immediately Tim looked for Abby. Taking her aside he asked her to clean out his computer's hard-drive; moving everything to flash drives; and wiping it out; to do a factory reset. Once he'd gotten Abby to agree to that; he'd turned to Ziva and Tony; asking them to dismantle his tiny kitchen; leaving the coffee maker and mugs for last.,Tim silently made coffee; handed Gibbs a cup of it when it was done; and picked up a couple of boxes; beginning almost automatically filling them; with no consious thought put into what he was packing in any one box. His mission; it seemed; was focused and settled.

When he told them he wanted nothing except his clothes and photos; they silently looked at Gibbs; who silently maintained his position in the doorway and stayed out of things. He'd heard what Tim had asked Abby to do; and wasn't actually surprised; but he was discouraged. It was much clearer now than before; Tim was indeed; cleaning out his life, They were witnessing the side of him that did not expect to be back. It was heartbreaking.

While none of them liked what was obviously going on in Tim's head; they bit their tongues and did as he asked; they stayed at it; helping him dismantle his apartment; his life; box by box; until the only things left to take care of outside of Tim's bedroom; was what no one had mentioned or touched since they'd arrived; some 2 hours earlier; Jethro's bed and his basket of belongings.

Tim had been going non-stop; the energizer bunny of packing; and not one of them had said anything to him about it; they knew he was handling this his way. But now; reaching the poignantly devastating point between completed task and impossible task; Tim mentally stumbled for the first time since they'd first gotten to his apartment. Tim McGee stopped moving for the first time in over two hours. He stood rooted to the floor; looking down at Jethro's bed; obviously torn in two different directions; wanting to fight; but, wanting to be prepared as well. Whatever happened after this was obviously gonna happen with his wits about him and some control in his pocket.

The rest of the team paused in their cleaning up; almost in tandum; waiting to see what he would do or need next. A warning look from the boss; sent them back to work with the message received; _Let him handle this by himself._

Five silent moments later; Tim finally moved again; taking a deep breath before turning away from Jetho's bedding and trudging to his bedroom. He silently set about finishing the dismantling of every last piece of himself from what had been his private haven; leaving only his bed and stereo for the last trip to the truck. Once he'd finished in his bedroom; he thoroughly went from room to room; checking every drawer and cabinet; making sure all of them were empty; before bringing himself back to the living room. With every step he had taken; every item he had packed; every minute that had gone by; Tim had felt a smidge more sorrow building in intensity; until it felt like a tidal wave trying to drown his very soul. Finally; after fighting it for the long haul; he couldn't take another second of it; taking himself down the hall to his bedroom; he locked the door; cranked up his stereo; threw himself down on the bed; and gave in to the need to let it out.

Having watched and known exactly what was going on; Gbbs finally moved away from the kitchen/living room doorway; taking himself away from his grieving agent; just down the hall; back into the living room; and began labeling and taping the boxes; with the help of Ziva and Tony. While Tim vented his emotions; his team completed the task of loading up his belongings into the truck. Tim had already seperated the very few things he was keeping; just his clothes and photos. Everything else was supposed to be donated.

Ducky arrived as the last of the boxes had been loaded; leaving only Timothy's bed; and Jethro's to move out. "Jethro; I've spoken to the driver; and they're ready when we are." Ducky explained; looking meaningfully at the younger man.

Gibbs looked back at Ducky just as meaningfully; as he silently nodded his head in the direction of Tim's bedroom; from which the music was still blaring. Ducky raised questioning eyebrows and received a nod in return. Gibbs turned back to the living room; leaving his agent in his M.E.'s capable hands. While Gibbs went outside to talk to the movers; the agents and his team; Ducky waited patiently inside; with only a silent Kinney and Tripp to keep him company. Ducky was not about to waste time or effort trying to talk to Timothy until the young man decided to come out on his own.

When Tim did emerge from his self-sanctioned melt-down; some fifteen minutes later; it was to find Ducky waiting to talk to him. "Timothy; tell me; how are you feeling? Are you lightheaded or have you been eating enough today to avoid that problem?"

"I haven' t eaten since we were at Gibbs', Ducky." Tim quietly admitted. Noticing his protection detail standing close by; Tim asked: "Where's the rest of the team?"

"They're right outside; keeping the movers company. Just say the word and they'll get the bed moved out for you and we'll be done." Ducky advised.

"I'm ready." Tim said quietly; tears forming in his eyes; again. Quickly, he stepped away from Ducky; to the window; waiting for the M.E. to make the call that would bring this chapter of his life to a close.

Ducky hadn't liked the look in Tim's eyes just now. "Jethro; we have the bed to move out; and then we're ready to move on." he advised quietly over the phone; having walked into the bathroom to give Timothy some space.

"Not gonna be that easy, Duck." Gibbs said quietly. "Which bed is he ready to let go of?"

"Oh!"

"Duck?"

"Jethro; it simply never occurred to me. Of course; Jethro's bed! Why didn't I think of that?"

"What's going on, Duck?" Gibbs' voice was filling with worry.

"Jethro; Timothy is forcing himself to close this rather painful chapter in his life and I'm afraid he's not quite up to the task." Ducky worried.

"What has he said" Gibbs demanded; heading back inside to check on his agent.

"That's just it; Jethro; he hasn't said anything. Outside of answering my question of when he'd last eaten and asking where the rest of you are; he's only let me know he's ready for the last items to moved out. Rather; it's the sorrow in his eyes that convinces me that he's not ready."

"Well, yeah; Duck; he' probaby beating himself up for letting himself let it out earlier, too. We both know how much Tim hates that." Gibbs reminded Ducky. "We'll get this stuff moved out and get outta here. I'm not comfortable being here for too long." Gbb admitted. "See if you can get him to talk about Jethro." Gibbs requested quietly as he slowed his return to Tim's apartment.

After talking with Gibbs; Ducky walked back over to Tim and after giving him a few moments to think in peace; asked him. "Timothy; tell me something, please. When you look at Jethro's bed; what goes through your mind?"

"Too much, Ducky." Tim answered softly. "I can't explain it."

"I understand, my dear boy; this is certainly overwhelming for you. Are you okay with us taking his bed away for you?" Ducky asked with compassion.

Gibbs; who had silently come back in; ready to wisk the dog's bed away as quickly as possible for the young man; stood waiting beyond Tim's field of vision. This conversation was just between his agent and Ducky. Tim had needed someone else to talk to. Ducky was just the one at the moment. Tim's answer had torn at Gibbs' heart.

Tim silently nodded his head; not looking at Ducky.

"Timothy, I realize this is quite disheartening for you; but I really must insist that you look me in the eye and answer me; we can't act on your behalf without verbal confirmation of your wishes."

Tim straightened his shoulders; took a deep breath; and turned to face Ducky. "Yeah, Ducky; I'm ready to do this." So saying; he walked back to the dog's bed and stopped short when he found Gibbs waiting to take away Jethro's bed for him; to alleviate that pain for him. Tim smiled in appreciation. "Thanks, Boss; but this is something that I have to do." he said quietly. When Gibbs smiled encouragingly and nodded his understanding; Tim picked up Jethro's bed; as Gibbs hoisted up the crate of Jethro's belongings; and surrounded by his body guards; his boss; and his honorable uncle; he walked out of his apartment for the very last time.

Nodding to the movers as they passed in the hall; they made their way down to the truck and after depositing the bedding in the truck; Tim surprised them all by hugging them in appreciation for their help; before silently taking himself off to Gibbs' car and getting comfortable in his seat. Finally finished with one of the most difficult tasks he faced; Tim gave in to his exhaustion; and closed his eyes for some much needed rest.

The drive back to Gibbs' house was a silent one. Gibbs knew Tim needed the solitude and the rest.

"Boss, the stuff I've been working on at work; I still need to get it done. When can we go back to NCIS?" Tim asked; some twenty minutes into the drive; surprising Gibbs; who thought he'd been sleeping.

"Whenever you think you can get it done. I don't want to half-ass this. If we're gonna go in; it'll be to get as much of it done as possible in one trip." Gibbs decided.

"Okay. Guess that means we should head over there first thing in the morning?" Tim asked.

Sounds like a good plan." Gibbs agreed. "The rest of today can be used to try to rest." Gibbs had some phone calls to make; ones he hated to make; but it had to be done.

Once back at Gibbs' house; Tim wandered off to get some sleep and Gibbs headed to the privacy of the dining room to make the calls he needed to make. When he was done; he was left feeling angry and frustrated. The local LEO's from the scene of the car accident were demanding that Tim make the trip to identify the bodies. Gibbs called the Director. Yes, she knew about it and yes; she was going to discuss it with him later today. Yes, she had a plane scheduled to take them later that day. Angrily; Gibbs snapped the phone shut.

Hearing Jen tell him that she wasn't sanctioning the entire team going in support of their team mate pushed his anger through the roof. He needed to cool off. He took himself to the basement and worked out his anger on the bag. So lost in his anger letdown; he never heard or noticed Tim come down and sit on the 3rd step; never saw him sit there and watch him release his anger and frustration; didn't even notice the pained expression on his face; for the stress and aggravation he felt responsible for putting his boss through; until he finally caught sight of him out of the corner of his eye as he continued to attack the bag.

Instantly; his feet froze; as his hands stopped the motion of the bag. An excellant people reader; Gibbs was quick to see the look on Tim's face; see the guilt filled eyes; the pain etched on his face. Tim was obviously once again feeling responsible for someone else's emotions and needed to be reminded that things just didn't work that way. Gibbs looked away from him and went in search of his 2nd set of gloves. Taking his own gloves off; he picked up the spare pair and silently held them out to Tim.

Tim looked up and upon seeing what Gibbs was holding out to him; smiled as he got up and came down the steps and put the gloves on. Turning to the bag; he set about laying into it; letting his emotions run free. The bag hadn't seen such a workout before; but both men felt much better for the effort. When they both had their fill; they returned to the upper part of the house; and went off to take their respective showers.

Once back in the kitchen; Tim set about fixing lunch while Gibbs made fresh coffee. Sandwiches and coffee made; the guys sat down to a peaceful lunch. Gibbs decided the bad news could wait. The peace and quiet was important for his agent, too. Unfortunately, that peace and quiet was disrupted by Gibbs' cell phone ringing.

"Yeah. Gibbs"

"Jethro; I've thought it over and I've reconsidered. Your team can go with you; including Ducky. But, are you sure it's wise to let Abby go?" Jenny asked.

"I'll ask her. I'll let her know what's involved and see what she says. Thanks, Jen." Gibbs replied with gratitude. "What time and where?"

"I've changed it to tomorrow so you don't have to be gone overnight. Plane leaves at 8 AM sharp."

"Okay. We'll be there." Gibbs answered; ending the call.

"Tim; looks like the conversation we needed to have later; after dinner; can't wait that long; but I do need to talk to Tony and Ducky before you and I sit down to talk," Gibbs informed the confused young man.

Tim sat back silently and let Gibbs make his calls.

Opening his phone back up; he punched a speed dial #.

"DiNozzo"

"Tony; round up the team; be at my house tonight at 6. Tell everyone to cancel their plans for tomorrow. Oh, and tell Ziva to bring an overnight bag. Tell Abby I want her and Ziva to have a sleepover. Everyone will need to be back here by 06:30." Gibbs instructed cryptically.

"On it, Boss." Tony replied; his curiosity eating him alive; but he knew better than to ask now. Whatever was going on; Gibbs wanted to tell them all at once. Tony could live with that.

Gibbs hung that call and immediately made the other one he needed to make.

"Ducky"

"Jethro?"

"Any chance you can come back over here soon?" Gibbs asked; his eyes trained on his agent; currently getting more upset by the minute. Gibbs had been afraid this would happen; Tim was already figuring out what he hadn't yet been told. As soon as the M.E promised he' be there soon; Gibbs ended the call and turned his full attention to Tim. It was gonna be a hard night. The fear and pain and sorrow were already beginning to overwhelm him again; Gibbs saw it in his eyes.

"Talk to me. " Gibbs told him.

"I think that's something I should have said to you by now, don't you think?" Tim countered quietly; angry yet unwilling to be disrespectful about it.

"You have to know I had every intention of talking to you about it." Gibbs pointed out.

"You're right; I'm sorry. I let everything run away in my head and I couldn't think beyond that." Tim tried to explain.

"Don't apologise. You had good reason for being upset. I would rather wait for Ducky before I tell you what's going on. Would rather you have someone to help you digest it." Gibbs replied.

"Boss; you're only making this worse; please! Just tell me; already!" Tim was getting agitated; his fear beginning to overpower everything else he was feeling.

"Tim we have an appointment to go see the Bolder, Colorado Coroner tomorrow morning."


	16. Don't Make Me Do This

_"Tim we have an appointment to go see the Bolder, Colorado Coroner tomorrow morning."_

* * *

Evey ounce of color drained from Tim's face as his boss' words sank in.

Gibbs mentally cursed; actually feeling tears fill his eyes at the kicks that keep being dealt to his surrogate son; who now believed he had no other family any longer; and was still trying to pick himself up from the last blow he'd been given. _God! Will life ever stop beating up on this kid? _

"I am so sorry, Tim_."_ Gibbs genuinely offered_._

"Not your fault, Boss." Tim whispered; unable to think beyond what he'd just been told; and exactly what that meant. Slowly; silently; he got up out of his chair and took himself to Gibbs' living room; needing to look outside; see the endless sky above him; shift his focus. Thank God, Gibbs had replaced his backyard fence with a secure high fence and visable signs of secure monitoring. Now Tim could stand here without fear of someone sneaking up on him; snatching him.

Gibbs quietly walked over to him; put a comforting hand on his shoulder and squeezed it in a show of support. Before any more could be said; there was a knock at Gibbs' front door. Going to open it; Gibbs was relieved to see Ducky had arrived.

"Duck; we have to go to Boulder, Colorado in the morning. Got an appointment with the Coroner there. Have to get Tim to identify the accident victims." Gibbs quietly explained. "Tim already knew something was going on so I had to tell him already. I think he's in shock. I'll leave him in your hands. The others will be here soon." Gibbs pointed to the living room.

Needing to get some distance and breathing room; Gibbs took to his basement. He was confident Ducky would let him have this chance at some solitude. Hell, knowing the M.E. as well as he did; Gibbs could count on Ducky handling the rest of the team; too; when they arrived. Not for the first time; Gibbs sent up a prayer of thanks for Ducky.

Ducky watched Gibbs retreat to his basement; his heart already breaking for the younger man. The M.E. knew that Gibbs was in mental agony right about now. Knowing the Team Leader as well as he did; it wasn't difficult to understand how much all this was affecting him; eating away at him. The inability to protect one of his team members from being targeted; having to watch that team member; one of his surrogate sons; be put through this much pain and suffering; had to be damn near tearing him apart. Nothing pained Jethro more than being helpless in situations like this. Sending up a prayer for strength for the lot of them; Ducky headed into the living room to take over the task of looking after Timothy.

Upon finding Timothy; Ducky was alarmed. Yes, Gibbs had said the young man was probably in shock; but; even having heard that warning; Ducky was unprepared to find the young man in this state. Panicked; down on his knees; fighting to breathe and even in some obvious physical pain. Knowing he couldn't handle more than one problem at a time.

**GIBBS!!**

Ducky knew the Team Leader would wind up being even angrier and more devastated to find Tim in this state. No doubt he'd blame himself for this . They'd have to deal with that later.

Gibbs heard Ducky holler; and bolted up the stairs. High tailing it to his living room; Gibbs skidded to a stop; his heart in his throat at the scene that met him when he got there. Not giving in to the emotions that slammed through him; he raced back to the kitchen for a paper bag and a glass of water; getting both items back to Ducky as quickly as he could. Together; both men got Tim safely through his panic and helped him get his breath evened back out. They needed to know what else was physically wrong.

Now that he'd regained his breath and no longer felt like he was dying; Tim felt the wave of emotions that had brought the panic on in the first place; still there; still overwhelming; still rising; trying to drown him. Restlessly; he got to his feet and began pacing the living room; silent; agitated. When the knock on the front door came; Tim froze; his eyes instantly seeking Gibbs' out. Gibbs met Tim's panicked eyes and held them with his calm; reasuring own; as he vebally asked Ducky to go let the team in; handing him his weapon as a precaution.

Ducky took it all in stride; accepting Gibbs' weapon as smoothly as it was handed to him; accepting Tim's need for Gibbs reasurance through whatever was pushing him over the edge at the moment; and accepting Gibbs' need to know that while he was sure it was his agents at his door; Ducky had the means to protect himself in the event that it wasn't. Approaching the front door; Ducky was relieved beyond measure to find that it was indeed; Tony, Ziva and Abby.

* * *

As Ducky left the room to go answer the door; Gibbs' stepped closer to his panic-stricken agent. "Talk to me." He quietly urged him; no authority in his tone this time.

Tim blinked and looked away; and restlessly began pacing again. Gibbs let him be for all of thirty seconds.

_"Tim! Talk. To. Me!"_ Gibbs now demanded; putting the authority back in his tone; needing to push him to let it out.

"I can't do this." Tim stopped pacing and turned to look at Gibbs.

"Can't do what? Go talk to the Coroner's office tomorrow?" Gibbs asked; meeting Tim's frightened eyes.

Tim nodded; grief, fear and absolute panic all fighting to be seen in his eyes.

"I know this is the hardest thing you've had to face. I know it's gonna be very hard for you; but you won't be alone. We will all be there with you."

_"I can't do it!"_ Tim's voice picked up in volume; none of the overcharged emotions had left him.

"Tim; you've gotten through everything else that has been dumped on you; we will help you get through this." Gibbs continued to try to reassure him.

* * *

When the team saw how upset Ducky obviously was; they instantly sobered in mood and actually quieted down to silence; knowin Ducky had something to tell them.

"We are flying to Bolder, Colorado in the morning. You are needed as both protection and emotional support for Timothy; as it is the Coroner's Offce we have the appointment wth." Ducky told them.

**YOU DON"T UNDERSTAND!"** Tim's voice screamed from the living room; **"There's no way you could!"**

* * *

Tim's fear had won out; roaring through his veins; ripping his heart out; again. Even as he heard himself scream the words at Gibbs; he wanted to take them back; knowing they were hurtful; knowing in normal circumstances, Tim would have headslapped whoever hurt Gibbs this way; himself.

Gibbs heard the emotional mix behind the words screamed at him**;** anger; desperation; fear and pain. He knew where this was coming from and wished like hell he could ease the pain for this young man. There wasn't a trace of vindictiveness in this kid. None of what he said was aimed at deliberately hurting Gibbs and Gibbs somehow never lost sight of that with these guys.

No matter which team member was venting; Gibbs had found the uncanny ability to never take what they said as a personal attack. It made the difference between being able to see beneath the surface; and taking everything at face value. The line between the two was huge.

In something resembling a face off; Gibbs and Tim stood facing each other for several minutes; eyes locked on each other; one trying to convey his fear and pain and abject remorse; the other trying to send the sympathy to help him through it.

* * *

Tony was anxious to get in there; he needed to let Tim know he was here for him. Before he got very far; Ducky's hand on his arm stopped him.

"Let them work through this, Anthony. You can help after Timothy's gotten it all off his chest. Give him this chance while it is needing to be let out." Ducky quietly implored.

Tony nodded but quickly walked the group to the living room; needing to at least see exactly what was going on; at least as silent witnesses to exactly what their teammate was going through. He'd been so silently adamant about not falling apart in front of them; they were clueless as to exactly what was going through his mind. What they walked into brought tears to their eyes.

Gibbs stepped over to his hurting son and wrapped him in an anchoring, supportive embrace; whispering in his ear; "I know. I know you're hurting and scared, Tim. But you need to let us help you the best way we can. okay?" The room was still for a long few minutes as Gibbs lent his strength and support; and Tim soaked it up; even as his tears continued to flow; as much as he was capable at the moment.

Tim; where he normally would have nodded his head in agreement to Gibbs questions; he now drew in a shuddering breath and stepped back enough to look Gibbs in the eye. _"If I do this; they win."_ Tim explained; his voice still fearful and louder than normal. _"It's over; they will have won!"_ The tears were still streaming down his face unchecked; testament to the depth of what he was trying to dig his heart out from underneath.

"I know it will feel that way and it's easy to see where you would get that from; but, you need to take this one from a different perspective; Tim. You need to do this for your family. You need to know if this is really them. You need closure. If this is your family; they need to be laid to rest." Gibbs quietly advised; hating the pain he knew hearing these words would bring the young man.

Suddenly, Tim was surrounded by loving, supportive arms and comforting voices; his team; no longer able to stand by and watch and listen to his pain; stepped up to the plate to embrace him and verbally promising they were there for him.

Gibbs; too emotionally drained and still feeling Tim's pain; silently sat back and watched his team come together for their wounded; surrounding him within their midst.

* * *

Sitting around the kitchen table, an hour later; Ziva, Abby and Tony were now discussing what to expect at the appointment in the morning; with Gibbs. They were all still reeling from the emotional trauma they'd witnessed Tim suffer and helped him through earlier. Tim had been convinced by all of them; some 30 minutes ago; to go on to bed. Abby and Ziva had tucked him in and sat with him until he was sound asleep. Now; some 10 minutes later; with Ducky keeping his self-appointed watch over Tim; and coffee and snacks in front of them; they were once again rallying together for their teammate. Abby and Ziva were both subdued and trying to wrap their minds around everything.

"Ducky said we're Tim's security and support. No worries, Boss. We got this." Tony promised; his devotion to the task at hand; evident in his tone.

"No, I want additional agents for the security detail. If this is; in fact, his family we're going to identify; we are the only family he has left. When it becomes official; real; it will hit him very hard. That's why his team is going." Gibbs explained patiently. "Having to identify these bodies will be the hardest thing he's ever had to get through in his entire life. He's gonna need all of us to get through this. I know I don't have to remind anyone that Tim still carries the firm belief that this won't be over until whoever it is has their hands on him. Having that weighing him down every day isn't helping him. All three of you have an assignment between now and the time we walk into that coroner'office tomorow. Study Tim. Learn to read him better than you already do. If you read him well enough; you'll be ready for this before he even realizes it has hit him." Gibbs quiet tone spoke volumes of how important it was to him; that they try to make this as painless as they possibly could; and considering this was all they could do to be of help; it was crucial that they get it right.

Ducky entered the kitchen and joined them at the table. "Gibbs; you may want to go spend a few moments with him; see if you can reach him; calm him; he's tossing and turning; and apologising to you; repeatedly. Apparently; he takes losing his manners at your expense very seriously indeed." Ducky advised.

Gibbs jumped up out of his chair and bolted up the stairs; not wanting Tim to have any more restless sleep if it could be prevented. Sure enough; when he reached the room he now spoke of as Tim's; his agent was restless and agitated. _"sorry, boss. so sorry.";_ his face wet with tears as he rolled and twisted in his sleep.

Sitting down on the edge of the bed; Gibbs laid his hand on Tim's forehead and leaned down to speak in his ear. Using his other hand, Gibbs wiped the young man's tears away.

_"It's okay son. Apology accepted. Rest now; you've earned it. I'm proud of you."_ he quietly promised him. Gibbs felt the tug of parental concern flow through him; and he reached out to smooth Tim's hair back out of his face; wishing from the bottom of his heart that he could physically take this monstorous problem and theat against this young man; and destroy it like the bomb it was.

Almost immediately; the young man's restlessness stopped and his agitation eased; and then disappeared. And then; wonders of all wonders; was that a smile crossing that face?

As his sleeping agent physically settled deeper into a peaceful sleep; Gibb quietly chuckled; content to sit and watch over him; to keep the monsters at bay.


	17. Not The Yellow Brick Road

Five the next morning found the group silently making it through breakfast; while letting Tim get the most sleep that he could; not waking him up until they were almost ready for him to leave. The others left in pairs; each pair taking a different car and different direction; but each also taking a pair of agents as protection; in a 2nd car.

Tim had woken feeling much better than he had for most of the last week; although the knot in his gut still tasted of fear; he thought back to the previous night. Had he really screamed at Gibbs _again_? _Jeez, McGee; you're wantin him to throw in the towel on ya; aren't ya? You gotta stop using him as your door mat!_ As the thoughts kept crossing through his mind; his good mood left him; he couldn't help but think Gibbs probably wouldn't want anything to do with him now.

_"Be prepared for him to not even be concerned about it; Timothy; he's well aware of your suffering and need to lash out. __Quite frankly; my dear boy; we all are." _

Tim recallled Ducky's words with a smile. Gibbs had not only backed Ducy's prediction up; but he had reinforced it.

_"Tim. Listen to me. It's obvious that you wish you had handled things differently this morning. I get that. You think I don't know you better than that? It happens. Ducky's right. I'm not pissed about it. I accept your apology. I appreciate it. Really. But it's done. We've moved on."_

How much of this would Gibbs put up with? Even with the words of his two mentors ringing in his head; Tm still found himself unable to look Gibbs in the eye this morning. They hadn't spoken since he'd screamed at him last night; well; that's not quite right; Gibbs _had _embraced him; offered him encouragement and understanding; and encouraged him to let his teamin; let them wrap them in their cocoon. That didn't sound like a pissed off boss Even with all that; though; Tim couldn't take it for granted that all was well between them; which left him less than comfortable in his own skin this morning.

Gibbs could see that Tim was sorely in need of another reminder about movng on and Gibbs knowing he was more than the pain he had lashed out with. As soon as they got underway in the car; and had no interference; Gibbs got straight to the point.

"Tim, we've aleady talked about this. Ducky's already talked to you about this. Just because it's a diferent day; and the situation was a lot more intense; doesn't change what we told you the first time. Didn't you get my message last night?"

Tim recalled a voice; something he remembered hearing in his sleep.

_"It's okay son. Apology accepted. Rest now; you've earned it. I'm proud of you."_

With tears in his eyes; he smiled at Gibbs; his thanks and gratitude clearly written all over his face. Privately, Tim savored the memory of feeling Gibbs smooth his hair back from his face; and the sense that he'd stayed with him; watched over him until he'd fallen completely, peacefully asleep. Yeah; Gibbs wasn't holding anything against him. Silently, Tim McGee sent up a prayer of thanks for one Leroy Jethro Gibbs.

"Movin on?" Gibbs asked with a grin.

"Movin on!" Tim seconded. "But, Boss..."

"No, Tim. For the last time; apology is not necessary. No one is even thinking of being pissed at you because you're scared and overwhelmed; and ocassionally; let some of it out. You dealt with it the only way you could at the time. I know the idea of dealing with this situation is really hard and has you scared to death. It would be a little hinky if you weren't The only way to stop having this happen; is to go ahead and get rid of it before it runs away from you like that."

"Yeah, that' makes sense." Tim admittedly agreed in a small shaky voice.

"Just remember; we're here for for you. Let us help you with this. None of your team mates want to be left out of helping you through this." Gibbs reminded him.

"It's hard not to see that in them now. I don't know why; but sad as it is to admit to; I was never sure of that with them before. I mean each of them have their own approach to friendship. I just never seemed to get a good handle on it with any of them." Tim attempted to explain.

I know, but you gotta admit; it's part of what makes up our family dynamic; and somehow; it works." was Gibbs' answer.

"True enough." Tim admitted with a smile.

A comfortable silence rested between them for a few minutes.

"Boss, I know we haven't had time to get back to figuring out who's behind this; but we are gonna do that when we get back, right?" Tim's question broke the peace and quiet.

"Yeah; in between cases. Anything more depends on hard evidence, Tim. I can't do more than that." Gibbs reminded him.

"Yeah, I know." Tim resigned.

Gibbs smiled at him in encouragement. "I'm not gonna promise you we'll figure this out; but I do promise, we'll do our damnedest."

"Thanks, Boss. I know you will." Tim gave a small smile of trust in return.

The rest of the trip to the airport was made in restful silence. One Agent lost in his thoughts and hoping the other would use this chance to find some sleep; the other one trying not to get lost in his thoughts; trying; instead; to find sleep.

By the time they met up at the plane; their group going on the trip totaled 11. In addition to Gibbs, Ducky, Abby, Tim, Ziva and Tony; they were to be accompanied by Agents: Tripp, Kinney, King, Sprinkle and Fielding. After Gibbs placed a call to the Director last night as the team was getting Tim to get some sleep; they were also borrowing five Bolder, Colorado NCIS agents when they landed there. Gibbs wanted Ducky and Abby protected and felt the need to add more to Tim's protection; on the off-chance that all of this trip somehow fell in with some sick plan of the perpetrator. Keeping this concern unspoken yet addressed in the way that satisfed the situation; eased Gibbs' mind.

Once the entire plane had been secured; they boarded. There were no set seating plans for the trip; with the exeption of letting Tim, Gibbs and Ducky have first dibs on where they wanted to sit. Tim didn't want to be far from the team; but didn't want to engage in any long conversations; either. He also decided against taking a window seat; not wanting any problems with his stomach. So, in the end; he chose a seat in the back of the plane; away from the wings; which made him nervous. With his back and at least one side protected by the body of the plane; he felt less vulnerable. He could only hope that his team wouldn't take his seating choice the wrong way.

All of the agents who were making the trip as a protection assignment were directed to take up the front section of seats; essentially becoming a wall between them and the people they were assigned to protect. The flight was a last chance for everyone to relax before things got intense and serious. Advised to nap if they wanted to; only after they were at cruising altitude safely and securely; most of them saw the wisdom in the advice. Agent Tripp; however; was unsettled at seeing his protectee alone at the back of the plane. He bravely approached Gibbs; when he managed to find him alone; checking over his team as they took the seat they wanted for the fligt.

"Excuse me, Agent Gibbs?" Tripp began.

"Tripp?" Gibbs looked at him in something akin to interest. Outside of issues pertaining to his assigned protection duties; and the specifics that came up in different situations; the two of them had not spoken since the night Gibbs had reamed him out in the Director's office.

"Sir; I mean no disrespect, whatsoever; but I have to tell you; I am not comfortable letting Agent McGee sit back there. Alone." Tripp admitted in all seriousness.

Gibbs respected the guy; Kinney; too; for their dedication to Tim. They hadn't slipped up again; since that first time In fact, Gibbs was damn proud of how well they had been doing their job. These guys had made Gibbs' life easier in the last week; confirming Gibbs' faith in their ablities and commitment to Tim's safety.

Gibbs looked the seating situation over and actually agreed with Tripp. Realizing that the front row looked like a shooting gallery; he was thankful it had been brought to his attention. Even though they were secure on the plane; he _would_ feel much more comfortable if he and Kinney were closer to Tim than the front row.

"I agree." Gibbs told him. "You and Kinney should take apposing isle seats somewhere between half-way and two rows in front of him. have the rest of the do the same; spread out down the isles. Do it calmly and quietly. And Tripp? Thank you." Gibbs told him; before moving off to go talk to his team before the plane took off.

"Guys; all set?" Gibbs asked Tony, Ziva and Abby who were clustered together.

"Yeah, Boss.

"Yes. Gibbs.

Yes, Sir. Bossman!"

"Forgot your homework assignment already, did ya?" Gibbs asked them dryly.

'No, Boss; but, Boss; the back of the plane?" Tony complained.

"Maybe if you made the effort to talk to him about it; you know _get him to open up;_ you'd understand his reasoning?" Gibbs suggested pointedly."Just between you and me; he's finally beginning to believe you are genuine in your attempts to be a friend. Maybe this leg of the trip is a perfect opportunity to build on that?" Gibbs suggested more to Tony than Ziva and Abby. Tim needed his big brother; even if Gibbs was the first one among them to realize that.

"Thanks for the tip, Boss." Tony replied; actually thankful that Gibbs had reminded him.

He hadn't meant to leave Tim by himself, in the first place; he'd just gotten carried away joking with the girls. He smiled at them and moved himself and his carryon to the rear of the plane; stowing his bag and taking an isle seat closest to Tim; so they could talk. At the moment; however; it looked like Tim was trying to catch some sleep so Tony wasn't about to disturb him.

"Tony." McGee's quiet voice startled Tony. Probie hadn't even opened his eyes! _How'd he do that?_

"Yeah, Probie."

"You don't have to exile yourself back here on my account." Tim told him in all seriousness. "I'm only back here because it's the only place on a plane I truly feel safe sitting in."

"Oh, yeah? Why's that? I always prefer the wing section myself" Tony answered; pleased that getting a conversation going with McGee had been so effortless.

After a few minutes of discussion about the plane; Tim seemed to become exhausted rather quickly. Tony was slightly concerned and quickly got up in search of Ducky. Finding the M.E. sitting toward the front of the plane; Tony sat in the next seat; long enough to let his concerns be addressed.

"Ducky."

"Anthony; what's wrong, my dear boy? We'll be taking off soon; you should be in your seat; young man." Ducky warned.

"Ducky; I think you should go check on Probie. He just got real tired; like exhausted; really fast. I mean all we were doing was talking and he just fizzled out," Tony kept his voice down; not wanting to alarm anyone.

"Thank you for alerting me, Anthony. I will go check on him. now, before we lift off."

After Ducky got his medical bag from the overhead compartment and the a nutritional shake from the small insulated cooler; he headed back toward Tim. Tony plopped down more comfortably in his seat. Closing his eyes in nervousness; he could only hope that Tim was just tired.

_"DiNozzo!"_ Gibbs voice came from behind him; just loud enough to hear. Bossman did not sound too happy. Turning in his seat enough to be able to look Gibbs in the eye when he spoke to him.

"Boss?

_"Start talking!"_

"Probie just got real tired real quick and it startled me so I asked Ducky to go check him over." Tony explained.

"Just tired? No other complaints?" Gibbs asked.

"No complaints; Boss; just my reaction; but I didn't notice anything else; nothin obvious anyway."

"All right, let's wait and see what Ducky has to say. Good job, Tony."

When Ducky returned to his seat a short 5 minutes later; he didn't seem too worried.

"Duck? How is he?" Gibbs asked without wasting any time.

"He's fine Jethro; he just needs to rest and not think of anything regarding this whole ordeal for a while. I'm afraid that Timothy is greatly overwhelmed and at this point any attempt to think on any of this will most likely push him too far." Ducky warned.

"Yeah, Duck; I suspected as much. Tony, think you can follow Dr.'s orders and still do your homework?" Gibbs asked cryptically with a challenging grin.

"On it, Boss. No problem; Ducky, I will look after your patient for this leg of the trip!" Tony promised. Getting up he made one last parting shot to Gibbs: "Course, we both know that the Dr's orders trump the teacher's homework assignments any day of the week, right?" smirking; he quickly made his retreat; his head unscathed; hearing Gibbs and Ducky laughing as he went.

Reclaiming his seat across the isle from Tim; Tony silently looked his teammate over; before idly picking up a magazine and leafing through it mindlessly. Several quiet minutes later; Tony found himself joined silently by Ziva, Abby; and shockingly enough; Palmer!

Jenny silently boarded the plane and immediately stowed away her bag; noticing how quiet the plane was; she looked for trouble; only to find Gibbs' agents all sitting quietly; taking the opportunity to rest. Ducky and Gibbs; were also enjoying the quiet; both taking the time to catch up on some much needed rest. The next leg of the trip would be a tough one and they all needed to be ready. Rest was the best thing for them.

* * *

A short hour after they'd taken off for Colorado; Tim was once again; internally panicked and feeling overwhelmed beyond his ability to contain it or handle it. Getting up silently; checking on his resting teammates; none of whom stirred at his movements; he smiled at Tripp and Kinney; and went in search of his confidant. As Tripp and Kinney made their intentions to shadow him known; Tim motioned them back to their seats; and pointed to his sleeping teammates; and kept walking. Tim was too lost in his eternal emotional overload to stop his progression; needing to find his rock; and regain his hold before things became too much.

Silently, he took the seat next to Gibbs; thanking God it was available. He needed to talk to Gibbs; but was unwilling to disturb him. Tim was thankful that Ducky and Director Shepard were close by; only one row up and one row over; respectively. It was comforting to have this much controlled presence around you in times like this. Remaining silent; he sat back; closed his eyes and settled into feeling more comfortable; trying to strong arm his internal struggle into calmness.

Still, his rising panic and everything that was coming with it; was almost vibrating off of him. Gibbs; while trying to catch some sleep; hadn't been too successful; having so much running around in his head; he hadn't been able to put it away enough to find rest. He'd heard someone sit down next to him; smelt the aftershave; so he'd known it was Tim; felt the fear and panic almost literally rolling off of him; so he'd known Tim had come in search of help.

The Team Leader was grateful beyond measure that this kid had finally learned to do that. God knows; there had been times when he hadn't done it; that would have gone so much better and less stressful for him if he had. Thankfully, this time; was different. An immense sadness washed through the team leader as he thought of how much pain and tragedy it had taken to get Tim to come to him like this.

"What's wrong?" Gibb' quiet question snapped Tim's eyes open.

Looking over at his boss; he found the man was already watching him; waiting for his answer

"Boss, I can't do this." Tim said very quietly; wanting to keep this conversation just between them. His tone managed to convey exactly what he was feeling; which helped Gibbs realize where Tim's mind had taken him; again.

"Talk it through, explain it to me." the older man encouraged.

"I can't identify these people." he answered in brutal honesty that resonated with anquish.

"Tell me; what's the first thing that crosses your mind when you say that."

"The car; the out of control, unescapable fire." Tim's voice was starting to crack with the image that obviously accompanied those words for him.

Gibbs squeezed his agent's arm in support; as shudder of fear literally ran through the young man. "Listen; Tim; as long as that's where your mind is stuck at; this is going to do this to you. You need to wrap your mind around the other possibilites; let go of that one." Gibbs patiently advised.

"_What_ other possibilities? I _know_ I'm right, Boss. I _know_ it's them. My gut tells me it is. Put that together with the fire; and whataya get? PLEASE, tell me where there's room in there for 'other possibilities'." Tim said; struggling both with the effort to keep his voice quiet; and to hold back the tears.

Gibbs admired and respected this kid's will to keep it together; felt for his pain and his fear; grieved for the hell he'd been through in the last month; and prayed that they were wrong; that this wasn't; in fact; his agent's family; they were going to identify. Knowing, Tim really need something more to hold onto at the moment; Gibbs gave him what he could.

"Tim, listen to me. We don't know the details of the accident. They could have been thrown from the car; they could have been taken out by the emergency crews before the fire. We don't know yet. And as much as I hate to have to say this; there is no way around this. This is something that you have to do; for your family; for your own need to know."

"I know." Tim's voice was small, weak, and cracked. His tears still trying to escape his valiant hold on them.

"Tim, let go. Let it out. I know you're scared. Nothin' wrong with feeling overwhelmed. You're only making it harder on yourself, keeping it in." Gibbs firmly pushed.

Tim silently nodded in grateful agreement; as he dropped his hold on his fear, misery and tears.

"Stop trying so hard to keep it locked up. You don't need anyone's permission or approval to let go." Gibbs reminded him; as he pulled him into an embrace; both to keep his meltdown as quietly private as possible and to support him through it

When the fear and panic had run it's course; when the tears had stopped flowing; when the ability to breathe normally had been regained; Tim's body and mind gave in to it's exhaustion and took him to sleep.

Gibbs; feeling the young man go lax in his arms; set him back into his own seat. Reaching over; he hit the controls for the seat and laid it back for him and watched over him for a long minute; until he was certain that this time; sleep would claim him deep enough to be restful; before getting up and taking the isle seat on the other side of him; ready to stop anyone from waking his agent up.

Sitting across the isle from Jethro; Jenny had watched the scene silently and in awe. Being concerned when Agent McGee had first approached Gibbs' seat; she'd been happy to note that he hadn't disturbed Gibbs; rather; he'd simply sat back and visably relaxed once he'd settled surrounded by strength and reliability. After the month he'd had; Jenny knew he had to be feeling rattled and she wasn't surprised he sought out help; she was surprised that the help he sought; was Gibbs. She'd never witnessed his personal interaction with his team members before; and what she'd just witnessed; blew her away. Most people complained that Jethro was cold and unfeeling and distant. Apparently, that depended soley on who you were to him. She would never again; question his opinion in regard to these agents. It was more than obvious that he knew them better than anyone; even themselves.

Feeling Jenny's eyes on him; Gibbs looked over at her; "What?" he asked quietly.

"Is he okay?" She asked; obviously in concer.

"He's barely holdin on, Jen; and it'll continue to be this hard for him until we get him through this meeting. It's got him scared to death; and who wouldn't be in his shoes?" Gibbs asked; his pain and anger for his agent coloring his tone.

"Jethro; you've taken on an awful lot with this. I think it's too much for you." Jenny persisted.

Glaring angrily at her; Gibbs looked over at Tim; to make sure he was still sleeping. Assured that his agent; was in fact; blissfully unaware of the conversation going on next to him; Gibbs silently changed seats; getting up to take up the seat next to Jenny; more out of Tim's hearing range; if they kept it down.

"Do you _want_ him to feel worse? He already carries the guilt of that statement; _don't _you validate it! Let's just get him through this meeting; and we'll deal with the rest one day at a time. And for the record; when my people are in trouble; I don't abandon them to it! You, of all people should know that, Jen!" Gibbs' quiet anger was a force to be reckoned with.

"I apologise, Jethro; I'm just concerned about you." Jenny defended herself.

Gibbs' glare softened as did his tone when he answered her; "I'm fine, Jen. It's Tim we should all be worried about. Need to keep an eye; keep the team rallied around."

"We are, Jethro. We are." She assured him.

Gibbs nodded in reply and returned to his seat next to his agent; not wanting him to wake up alone; on this plane ride.

The remainder of the trip was silent; as everyone seemed willing to use this time to catch up on sleep.

As the plane began it's descent toward the airport; Tim awoke; slightly panicked. He'd had a good 3 hour nap and waking up this abruptly was hard enough without the element of being on a descending airplane to boot.

"Relax, Tim. It's okay; we're landing." Tony's voice came from his right. Turning his head to the left to look out the window; he found Gibbs watching him.

Blinking owlishly to get his eyes refocused; Tim schooled his features; trying to put his fear of this part of plane trips; away; even as his breathing began to become erratic with fear. He silently nodded his head and closed his eyes again; wanting more time to keep the world at bay; and find breathing comfortable again.

"Okay?" Gibbs asked.

Taking a deep breath and pushing everything negative down; away. Tim nodded.

"No, I wanna hear you tell me." Gibbs pushed firmly; Tony watching; taking it all in; wanting to be ready to step in; be the big brother Gibbs asked him to be.

"I've..." Tim breathed hard; swallowed hard and tried again to keep everything under wraps. "never been able to be comfortable with landings, Boss." he managed to explain; keeping the explanation as simple as possible as he reigned his breathing back in.

As the plane wheels touched down and they began to slow down; Tim's breathing settled down and evened out.

Gibbs grinned at him. "Apparently, that's an understatement! Why the hell didn't you ever say anything?"

"What, you guys didn't have enough to pick on me about? You actually wanted me to give you more ammo?" Tim asked only half-joking.

Tony couldn't help but grin. "I guess not, Probie. Seriously, are you okay now that we've landed?" his tone changed to serious and genuinely concerned.

"Yeah, I'm fine." Taking a deep breath; he looked at Gibbs again; "What time is this meeting?" the younger man asked; his heart in his throat and on his sleeve.

"We've got an hour; Tim. We've got plenty of time to get there." Gibbs told him. "Listen, you need to look to Tony and the others through this; let him help you when and where he can; let them help you; all right?"

Tim looked out the window for a half-minute before he looked back at Gibbs. "Yeah. I understand."Okay."

Locking eyes with him; Gibbs willed him to understand that this wasn't passing him off to Tony; but rather; providing him with a back-up system. After all; it was Tim who'd so eloquently stated that "You can only do so much."

"I get it, Boss. Thanks." Tim was serious. Tony had done nothing but step up to the plate and be there for him through this whole mess; including that weekend he'd kept him company and played bodyguard for Tim. Yeah; Tim was lucky to have both of these guys looking out for him.

"Okay. Let the team be there for you."

Tim nodded in agreement, but something in his eyes told Gibbs that he had something else he needed to say.

"Tony; we'll be there in a minute. Go, round everyone up fo rme." Gibbs requested of his Senior Agent.

"On it, Boss. Probie; don't worry; we've got your back." Tony promised as he got up and left to do as Gibbs had asked.

"Thanks, Tony." Tm told him

"Talk to me." Gibbs instructed.

"I know the team is here for me; Boss. But after the last couple of days; where all i had to do was _think_ about having to do this and I damn near needed to be put in a straight jacket?"

"I hear you. We'll get you through this. That's the whole reason all of us are here. You just don't forget to lean on your team." Gibbs reminded him.

Doubt still lingered in Tim's eyes. and Gibbs was getting a little annoyed.

"Am I missing something?

"My panic attacks. If you or Ducky... I don't know if the rest of them..."

"Ah. Okay, I get it. Now, it's making sense; it's not your team you doubt; it's your self!" Gibbs let him know he understood.

"Yeah, I know it sounds stupid, Boss; but..." Tim was too embarrassed to even finish.

"Relax; I understand where you're coming from. We'll make sure that whoever's keeping you company; at any given time; will be able to handle it; all right?"

"Thanks, Boss." Tim's relief was plain to see.

"You just sit tight. We'll be leaving in a few minutes. Let me go talk to Ducky."

Tim nodded silently in grateful agreement.

Gibbs stepped over to the isle and walked over to Jen. "Jethro; what was wrong?" the Director asked; letting him see she hadn't missed the scene with Tim a minute ago.

"Apparently, plane landings scare the hell outta him, Jen. He just never told anyone before." Gibbs admitted; hating the fact that something like that had been kept from him; making Tim's life on the team; a lot more stressful than it had to have been.

"He okay, now?" she asked.

"He will be." Gibbs told her. "I need to go talk to Ducky and the rest of the agents." as he turned to locate Ducky.

Jenny followed in his wake. After Gibbs explained the situation to Ducky; both men; in turn; talked to the rest of the group on the plane; instructing them in what they needed to know. When they were confident that everyone had enough understanding; grasped what to do; they got ready to de-plane and get this meeting over with.

* * *

Twenty nerve-wracking minutes later; they reached the Coroner's Office and while the borrowed Bolder, CO agents secured the office; the rest of the group filed in. All of them hoping against hope; that Tim was wrong; that this wasn't his family. Walking in to the building; with Tony flanking him on one side; and Gibbs on the other; Ducky, Ziva, Abby, and Jimmy followed behind; side by side and the protection teams split between the front of the pack and the rear. Jenny had gone in alone, first. They made quite a sight; but Tim's mind was far from worrying about what they might look like at the moment.


	18. The Worst Day of My Life

_This is it. This is where my life ends; my family's death is a heartbeat away from being a reality._

Tim's brain had fired that volley without even a sound; but as he walked into the Coroner's office; flanked by his team; he could feel those words pressurizing the lid he'd been keeping on everything he was holding in. Feeling reassuring hands on his back and arms; as he unconsciously slouched; the only outward sign of the emotions raging through him; he found himself suddenly able to square his shoulders and keep taking that one step after the other; until he'd reached the Coroner's Autopsy room.

Desperately trying to not look around him; Tim smiled as his team helped him with that, too; closing ranks around him; limiting his view; as he stood ready to hear what the coroner had to say. After the introductions and apologies for not meeting under better circumstances; yada yada; the moment had arrived; the moment Gibbs had advised might not be as bad as Tim had feared. The moment when he found out how these people; he didn't want to think of them as his family; at this moment; had died.

_"The victims of the accident were thrown from their vehicle; before it caught on fire; however each one; had died on impact of being thrown. The site of the accident was a cliff; so unfortuantely; one can imagine pretty easily how that would have happened. Now, Agent McGee would you prefer to see their facial photos first or are you more comfortable look at them, themselves, first?."_ Dr. Smythe; the coroner asked.

Tim just stared blankly; seemingly getting lost in a mental haze; reaching that moment he'd dreaded; even freaked out about earlier in the week; and now seemed unable to focus. Gibbs looked pointedly at Tony. This was something his Senior Field Agent was more than capable of handling and this was the moment Gibbs had spoken about; big brother's turn at the plate. More than willing to accept the challenge; and help his little brother; Tony turned to Tim and spoke to him.

_"Probie; look at me!"_ Tony quietly demanded in his Seniority mode.

Tim re-zoned; and actually did as Tony bid; looking at him; the lost little boy in him shining in his eyes so poignantly; it broke all their hearts.

_"Did you hear the question. Probie?"_ Tony asked; his tony bordering on beligerant; normal for Tony; which is what he was trying for.

Tim drew in a deep breath; smiled slightly in thanks to Tony and looked to Dr. Smythe. "Photos, please." he said; his voice small and shaky.

_"All right. I have them here in this folder. Don't worry; that's all that is in here. I'll give you some time, Agent McGee. I'll be in my office when you're ready to go in. Unfortunately, I'll still need your visual confirmation."_ having said that; he left the group in peace.

Tim stood; statuesque; unable to move; barely able to keep his breathe steady. Gibbs stayed back and let his team mates help him through this. Abby stepped up; gently hugging him; she asked him: "Timmy; do you want me to look at them for you? I can help you do this."

Shocked; Tim looked up at her for a silent minute; actively contemplating letting her do the heavy lifiting on this one. _What the hell's wrong with you McGee? YOU need to do this! YOU are the trained field agent!_ Ashamed of himself; he shook his head in response; his heart in his eyes. Looking at the group of people there to support him; he squared his shoulders and smiled a small smile at each of them in turn; seeing sympathy and hope for him in every pair of eyes looking at him; with the exception of one pair. In those cobalt blue eyes; he found not only the sympathy of someone who'd been where he was now; but also; the reminder that it was in fact; more than okay to let them help; in any way he needed.

He nodded his understanding in return and picked up the file; retreating to a private corner of the room; feeling the need to do this in some privacy. His team; however; was determined not to leave him too much space; in case he needed them; so they followed him most of the way across the room; granting him some space he obviously needed; but within short enough distance; they'd be there in a heartbeat if needed. With his back to the group; Tim slowly opened the file -

- and felt the bottom fall out of his world; changing it forever.

"_Oh God, oh no. please! my family_! – _….Gibbs_! Tim lost the ability to breathe. The only thing he could do as his world fell off it's axis; was turn his head back around and look desperately at his boss; his rock; silently screaming at him in anquish; _I told you I was right!!_

In slow motion; or so it seemed; the file slipped from his numb fingers; his legs gave out from under him and he started to crumple to the floor in a heap.

Gibbs and Tony reached him in that heartbeat they'd been watching for; carefully catching him before he fell completely; helping him to a chair; with Ducky's help as Abby and Ziva picked up the scattered photos from the floor and laid the file; closed; on the desk. With the tragic question of the day answered; the team respectfully retreated to the outer room; giving Tim some time.

Gibbs left Tony and Ducky standing guard over his younger agent; as he went and sought out Dr. Smythye; determined to save Tim from any more of this trauma; if he could. _"I'm sorry, Agent Gibbs; but state law requires personal identification. I know this is difficult; but maybe you could get him to see this as his chance to say his Goodbyes?"_ Dr. Smythe reasoned sympathetically. "_Take your time; there is no rush. No need to push him."_

Grimly and not at all happy to have to put Tim through more of this pain; Gibbs returned to the outer room;where the rest of his group waited. Even the protection agents were greatly saddened and sympathetic for what the end result of this trip had just become. Jenny was on the phone; relaying the message back to the home front.

Ducky came out from the Autopsy room and Gibbs immediately went over to him; anxious for a report on Tim.

"Jethro; he's calm; too calm; quiet." Ducky reported sadly.

"Is he saying anything, Duck?" Gibbs asked

"Other than asking for you; no." Ducky answered.

Gibbs double timed his steps back to Tim; stopping just inside the door; needing to look him over from a distance. Seeing the file still where he could see what he needed to be prepared for; Gibbs quickly looked through it; his eye reverently touching on the faces of Tim's family for a second. They'd done such a great job raising Tim; a remarkable young man. Quickly; Gibbs closed the file and turned his attention to his agent.

Tim seemed to have aged more than the last time he had seen him – was it really only a few minutes ago? He wasn't crying; though his eyes are red; on the brink. Gibbs moved over to him and squatted down in front of him; resting his hand on Tim's knee; felt Tim shaking.

_"Tim…"_ Gibbs quiet sympathetic tone somehow managed to reach thru his agent's baffled state.

"Did you see….?" Tim's whispered question broke Gibbs' and Tony's hearts and brought more tears to their eyes. The anquish in his eyes; as Gibbs watched for what's there; far surpassed that which had been in his voice earlier in the week; when he'd already been convinced of this reality. In answer to the question; Gibbs gently pulled Tim toward him so his agent could lean against him and gave his shoulders a gentle squeeze of support.

Gibbs stood back up and gently pulled Tim up to his feet and enveloped him in a steadying embrace, pulling him close; holding him firmly; one hand on his back and the other gently holding the back of his head as he whispered to him. "

"I'm so sorry, Tim."; his voice shaking with shared pain. Tony stood by; shaken to the core; at both the depth of this tragedy for Tim; and the realization that Gibbs had been in this situation before, personally. Tony's heart bled for them both.

For a long minute, there was emotional; heart-wrenching silence; although the tremors still shook through Tim; testimony to the depth of despair the photos behind them had brought. Tim didn't move from the safety of Gibbs' embrace; that place of comfort. Outside of that place was much too painful; it could't be dealt with at this moment; this moment of comfort so desperately needed in the harsh reality of the tragedy being handed him in such large pieces.

But, he didn't break down. No, he'd already given in to that. Knowing that Tim will fight to stay strong even at this; his darkest hour yet; Gibbs didn't move either; not a hand; not his eyes; closed in anger and sorrow; not even a single muscle; each and every one were locked into holding onto Tim; keeping him upright and grounded in support; both physical and emotional.

Gibbs knew the breakdown would come; but now the loss had become real; and he prayed that the team would be able to help Tim hold it together at least until they were finished here ; where his family was laid out; where he could say his goodbyes. He wasn't about to let Tim stay here any longer than necessary. As soon as Tim wanted to leave; they'd be gone. Gibbs was anxious to get the young man back home; where he could be himself and figure out how to cope with this tragedy.

"What do I do now Boss?" Tim's desolate whisper ripped at Gibbs' heart; as well as Tony's. Tim's face was buried in Gibbs' shoulder; taking what comfort was afforded him from his surrogate father. As Tim became aware of Tony hovering; wanting; needing to be there for him; Tim loosened his hold on Gibbs; feeling lost and storm battered; only knowing that as long as someone held him up; he'd be okay. In genuine uncertainty; he looked to Tony for the added support; and as Tony stepped up; the answer to his question was heard.

_"You let us find the bastard who did this – and we will do our best to find him Tim – I promise you!"_ Gibbs quietly promised; He'd deliberately included the 'do our best' in that promise. Tim had already had too many promises handed back to him broken and unkept; some; like this one; with tragic consequences; the worst had come from Gibbs himself. The end result was why they were here in the first place.

The sight of Gibbs holding onto Tim; comforting him; had spoken louder than anything else, of the extreme horror of it all for his Probie. And as Tony took his place; enveloping his Probie in support; holding Tim through this; the sorrow and anger began to make itself well known in his heart; these lovely people did not deserve this; he silently vowed to catch the person/s responsible; as well as be there for his grieving team mate and friend who damn sure didn't deserve this.

Gibbs took another minute to watch Tim; looking for a sign that his mind was in the present and coherent. "Tim?" he checked.

Tim looked up at Gibbs and silently gave him a tiny thin smile of thanks and a slight nod of acknowledgement to let him know he was okay.

"Thank you, Boss; Tony." Tim's voice was still a whisper; but at least it was a tad bit stronger whisper than it had been earlier.

Gibbs smiled back at him and nodded his head as he put his hand on Tim's shoulder and gently squeezed one last time. Wanting to get this over for him; Gibbs stepped back up to Tim and waited for him to look at him.

"We still need to do the next hard part. You ready to get it done; say your goodbyes?" Gibbs asked him somberly.

Although Tim's eyes filled with fresh tears; he nodded his head in determination to get this done; face the unfaceable.

"Tony. Thank you." he whispered; suddenly feeling the need to show the man some appreciation.

"You're welcome, Tim."

Tony's use of his first name; such an uncommon occurrance; was the curve ball that knocked Tim off his game. Suddenly; he couldn't hold it in any longer. Tim took a deep shuddering breath and looked at Gibbs; suddenly unable the rush of angry, helpless; pained words painting the guilt he felt; into a picture they could understand.

**"I did this….I couldn't even save my own family! All I could do was tell you. I couldn't save them –"** Once started; Tim can't seem to stop; his emotions are uncontrollable; his eyes plead with Gibbs for help.

Gibbs quickly but gently drew Tim back into an embrace and hugs him close; like he did moments ago; trying to calm the storm raging within him. "Shh. It's okay, Tim. You did not do this! This is not your fault! We're gonna help you thru this; okay?" Gibbs patiently kept going; driven to help calm Tim down.

Silently and somberly, Tony, watched Gibbs calm his youngest agent; once again; hoping that Gibbs would be able to keep Tim from falling apart; especially here; where the evidence of this devastating blow he had been so cruelly dealt;is still laid out before him in photos within the file; and literally in the drawers behind him; awaiting identifying.

Seeing this side of Gibbs; a side few of them even knew existed; remarkable as it was; paled in comparison to the horror that brought it about. Tony was just thankful that Gibbs had the ability and the strength to see Tim through this.

Tim, once again, rallied against the storm; again, anchored by the rock; knowing he had one in reserve; helped him find the strength to take a deep breath and nod his head; silently answering Gibbs' question.

"_Okay, now?"_ Gibbs asked as he pulled back and looks Tim in the eye.

"Yeah, Boss; I'm okay. Tim's quiet voice had gained in strength since a mere few moments ago; and that in itself; gave Gibbs some reassurance.

Feeling suddenly very uncomfortable being this grieving soul's rock; with the responsibility and guilt for that grief laying so heavy on his own heart; Gibbs silently stepped back even further; needing some distance before Tim's brain reconnected that wire; from his broken promise to the end result.

A slightly confused Senior Field Agent waited to take up the slack.

* * *

_Slim: What the hell is taking you so long?  
__Jim: Relax! Right now; I've got him coming unglued; having to identify the bodies of his family; that I got out of our way!  
__Slim: You'd better move this along; you missed your promised deadline and I want him yesterday!  
__Jim: Relaxl give it just a couple more weeks; let him get back to thinking things are normal and then I'll snatch him; bring him straight to you.  
__Slim: Didn't you tell me he's got bodyguards?  
__Jim: Not a problem; there's only 2; on him; and I got it under control.  
__Slim: Just move this along, already!  
__Jim: Patience; you'll be pleased with the results; don't worry.  
__Slim: Just don't screw this up by taking too long! I want him!_

* * *

Gibbs left the room to get Dr. Smythe; as Tony escorted Tim out to the waiting area; to spend a few minutes letting the team show their support and sympathy for his brother. Silently edging Tim closer to them; Tony encouraged Tim to accept and actually embrace the team's hugs and words. Once he'd handled that; Tim smiled thinly; in an effort to show some gratitude; before moving back to the door that would take him back to his lost family.

Ducky stepped up behind him; unwilling to let him go through any more of this without a medical person on hand . Together, the thee of them followed Gibbs and Dr. Smythe; as they silently re-entered the Autopsy Room and approached the drawers. As Dr. Smythe reverently; without a word; pulled out three drawers; all side by side; Tim's stomach clenched almost as hard as his translucent hands; now holding on to Tony and Ducky respectively. Having Gibbs' hand on on shoulder; and Tony's other hand on his other shoulder; and his hands grasping the arms of his friends; was all that was holding him together; keeping him from bolting from the room; being a coward.

As the Coroner pulled back the sheet from the first body; Tim's heart seemed to stop and his legs gave out; and it took all three men standing with him; to keep him from hitting the floor; _Dad! Oh, Dad! I'm so sorry!_ Tears poured down his face and the supportive arms drew him in tighter.

After a moment; Ducky came to stand in front of him; looking him in the eye;

"Timothy; if you need to rest or take a breather before we finish this painful task; don't hesitate to let us know, my dear fellow." His tone so sympathetic; it almost brought the sobs from Tim's heart to the surface. Looking at one of the most kindest men in the world; Tim smiled as best he could; "Thanks, Ducky; but I need to get this over with." he whispered.

Ducky patted his arm in sympathy; "You let me know if there's anything you need." The M.E. told him; moving only far enough away to give the young man space to walk.

Drawing in a deep breath, Tim looked at the coroner. "This is my dad." he told him quietly.

_"I'm sorry for your loss; Agent McGee."_ The coroner offered in sympathy.

Tim nodded his thanks; and stepped over to the middle drawer; already knowing by the size and length of the body; that it was his mother. Bowing his head under the weight of the rising misery; he froze. Again, multiple supportive arms wrapped him up; held him; gave him the courage to take the next step. Bravely, he picked up the edge of the sheet; himself and pulled it back, half-inch by half-inch; slowly; until he was looking into the face of his mother. The woman who had given him life. It broke him.

Dropping the corner of the sheet; he turned away; only to be met with the strong body of the person standing behind him; multiple arms that quickly embraced him; multiple voices that quietly soothed; and hands that gently held him firmly. As his grief and pain raged; his sobbs now shaking his shoulders; his cries no longer silent; the guys edged him back away from the drawers containing his parents.

While the Coroner silently slid those drawers back in; the rest of his team came in; having heard his anquish rip from his heart; and enveloped him in their midst. Gibbs and Ducky stepped back and gave the rest of the family the space to do what they needed to do. Catching Tony's eye; Gibbs motioned for him to get the team to back Tim away some more; from the one remaining drawer. Everyone on the team knew what Sarah looked like; who she was. This was one Tim would not have to do himself; if Gibbs had anything to say about it.

Taking the Coroner aside; Gibbs told him as much; and was met with agreement. Silently, Gibbs lifted the sheet away from the young woman; his agent's beloved little sister; and had to bite down hard on the urge to let his rage out; that yes; this was Sarah; and someone had taken her life away from her; away from her family;so cruelly.

"Yeah. That's his sister, Sarah." Gibbs quietly told the Coroner; heartbreak for his agent; heavy in his voice.

Nodding in understanding; the drawer was silently slid back in and the men stepped away from that area of the room. The coroner respectfully withdrew from the room; after quietly letting Gibbs and Ducky know he'd have the papers necessary for Tim's signature waiting for them when they were ready.

After what seemed like hours; Tim's emotions had run dry; at least for now. Making the huge effort to smile for his work family; Tim even went so far as to make the effort to verbally tell them:"thank you; all of you." his voice was still broken and shaky; but that was to be expected.

Looking around; knowing he still had to handle looking in the face of his lost baby sister; Tim was surprised to find the 3rd drawer no longer pulled out; the Coroner no longer in the room; and Ducky and Gibbs standing silently; waiting in the wings.

"Okay for now?" Gibbs asked him quietly.

Nodding his head in reply; he expressed his confusion. "Boss; I don't understand, what"s..."

Gibbs stepped over to him and explained:

"Tim; we all knew Sarah. We all knew what she looked like. I identified her for you; so you wouldn't have to."

"Oh. Wow. um. okay. I..." Tim stammered; not knowing what to say or even how he felt.

"I'm sorry; if that doesn't help. I thought it would. There's no rush; here. If you need to see them again before we go; you have no time limit." Gibbs offered.

"Thank you so much, Boss; but I think I do need to see her." Tim answered quietly.

"Okay. We'll be right here for you." Gibbs answered.

Ducky wrapped his arm around Tim's shoulders; "Come along, Timothy; I'll let you visit with your sister."

"Thanks, Ducky."

The rest of the team; kept their respectful distance; with Tony and Gibbs standing within reaching distance; should the young man lose his equilibrium again.

* * *

An hour later; with Tim; finally feeling ready to leave his family there; and all paperwork signed. they headed back to the plane. From the Coroner's Office to the plane; the limo; with more than 10 people riding in it; was so quiet; you could have heard a pin drop on the carpet floor. No one wanted to interrupt however it was that Tim's mind was allowing him to handle what he'd just been through; whatever it was he was thinking. Most of them decided to lay their heads back against the seat and rest; both their minds and their eyes. It had been a hell of a horrible morning. It had been as bad as they'd feared. For some; it had been worse than they'd feared.

The plane ride was just as quiet. Ducky had advised a sedative for Tim; but Gibbs was reluctant to go that route; until it was absolutely necessary; feeling fairly certain it would become a necessity once night came and Tim would need to get through it. Abby and Ziva sat on either side of Tim; all three; silently trying to rest; while the ladies refused to sleep; determined to stay alert for their team mate. They left him alone; just kept him silently company; knowing he needed the space to breathe but the visual reminder that he wasn't alone; at the same time.

Gibbs sat behind the group; needing to sleep and regroup; confident that Tim was in more than capable hands and would not have any problems with the company surrounding him at this point. Gibbs was proud of them all; but deeply concerned about them all, as well. This case; had just taken a tragic turn; confirmed as it now was; made it hit most of them harder now; than it already had; when it had just been Tim's instincts telling them it had happened. This was hard on all of them; the hellish month they'd been through just came into sharper focus. Sending up a silent prayer for help and hope; Gibbs closed his eyes and let sleep claim him.


	19. Finding My Feet

Once back on home turf; the group; by some silent code or agreement; all wound up back at Gibbs' house; all bearing food; which turned his dining room into a buffet banquet. No one had to cook and some even brought the paper supplies so no one need dirty any dishes. Best of all; no one would go hungry at a time; when no one could think about cooking.

Piling into Gibbs' living room; spilling out onto his open back porch; and back into the kitchen; the group; including the security agents; mingled quietly; talking of inconsequential things like the weather and sports and movie trivia; (of course). Soon, Gibbs' house was overflowing with people; all wanting to be there for Tim; to get him to stay within the close-knit group that they were; not wanting him to withdraw into himself.

Through it all; Tim; in a fog; sat ensconced in Gibbs' recliner; letting his eyes wander round the room; and his ears pick up on tidbits of conversations around him; taking in everyone who was there for him; but not really registering anyone's conversation fully. When it all became too much; Tim simply laid his head back and let himself be lulled to sleep by the noise.

When someone noticed that he had indeed, fallen asleep; the house immediately thinned out; the noise dimmed considerably; although someone had enough forsight to turn on something that made noise for him; the radio; set on a mellow station; maintained the noise level he'd fallen asleep with; keeping him from being startled awake by silence.

* * *

After the security Agents left; and Jen left with Ducky; Gibbs sat down in exhaustion; at his kitchen table; as Abby fixed him a pot of fresh coffee; Ziva cleaned up his kitchen; and Tony kept an eye on all of his team members; dividing his attention in both rooms. No one had anything to say; the events of the day had them all feeling stretched beyond their breaking point; but no one was ready to leave Tim yet. Even Ducky; was coming back to check on him in a little while.

When Tim had been sleeping for an hour; Gibbs had Tony wake him up; not wanting him to be awake all night. Shuffling into the kitchen; needing something to drink; the young man looked like death warmed over. After giving him a glass of water; Abby turned to him and spoke from the heart;

"Timmy; you need to do yourself a favor and go take a shower. It'll wake you up; and it'll make you feel better." attempting to pour her normal effervesance into her tone; she fell short of her normal self; but she did manage to get him to answer her; sort of.

Tim took a deep breath and after he let it out; he nodded his head; got up from the table and took himself up the stairs to his room. _His room! Oh, God! He was a homeless orphan at 32! Worse than that; he was a homelss orphan at 32; who had a psychopath targeting him; who had already killed his family and his dog; and would be doing the same thing to him just as soon as they got their crazy hands on him!_

Slammed with these horrible thoughts and reminders of everything he'd been through and what he had to look forward to; crumbled what little calm he'd managed to find. Tim huddled in on himself; on the floor; in a place where he felt safe; and began rocking back and forth; comforting himself like his mom used to do when he was a little boy.

_His Mom! Oh, God; he missed his mom. His Dad, too; of course. And Sarah; oh, God; let me wake up! I want them back; give me my family back!_ His reserve of tears was dry; but his misery and anquish was drowning him; keeping him floundering in it's endlessness. Not even this deepest darkest hiding place was making him feel safe from the horrors he knew were waiting for him.

Gibbs was startled when his phone rang and he answered it without seeing who it was; "Yeah. Gibbs."

_"Boss?"_

"Tim?"

_"Boss, help, please."_ Tim's tortured whisper scared Gibbs almost to death. Jumping out of his chair; Gibbs asked as calmly as possible; moving toward Tim's room; where the young man was supposed to have been heading.

"Tim, where are you?"

"_Boss, help me."_ the whisper was the same; only different. It was the voice of a lost; and broken child; who was suddenly alone in the world and desperately afraid.

"Tim. where are you?" Gibbs' strange; quiet question set Abby, Ziva and Tony running up the stairs to search the house for their team mate.

_"Hiding."_

"Why?"

_"So, they can't get me."_

"Tim, we need to make sure you're okay. Tell me where you are." Gibbs chose to ignore Tim's fear-driven statement and concentrate on finding him

_"just need to be alone."_

"You called me for help."

_"feel better now. I'm okay, now."_

"where are you?"

_"Safe. now."_

"Tim, did you leave the house?"

_"course not."_

"okay. then; if you're where you want to be; and you feel safe there; just call me again if you need me; okay?" Gibbs gave in; needing Tim to continue trusting him. Away from the phone; Gibbs called Ziva, Tony and Abby back downstairs.

"Leave him alone. He'll come round." Gibbs told him "He's overloaded with more than he can handle right now. "Where did you look for him?"

"Every closet and nook and cranny outside of your room; Gibbs." Abby reported; her concern so evident; he reached over and hugged her to make her feel better."

"Tony, get Ducky back over here; tell him to make sure he brings something to help Tim sleep." Gibbs instructed calmly.

Gibbs' phone rang again. This time he looked at the id. It was Tim. "Tim." Gibbs answered with the recognition; hoping it would help.

"_Help. please. Boss."_

"Are you asking me to come find you and help you?" Gibbs demanded Tim own up to exactly what it was he wanted.

_"Please."_ Tim whispered.

"Okay. I'll be there in a minute." Gibbs promised before he hung up the phone. Looking at the others; he said the unnecessary; not feeling better until he did. "Not a word! This didn't happen; got it? Keep your eyes out in case he comes back down stairs and fill Ducky in when he gets here.

"**Gibbs, where' is he?"** Abby cried.

"Abbs; he's safe; but it's like I said; he's overloaded; he's scared; feeling orphaned; after everything he had to deal with today; all in the same day. It's a lot to take in under the best of circumstances; much less when you're being threatened and you feel responsible for the deaths of your family. He's in need of privacy; unless he asks for help. Relax; he's in the house." Gibbs patiently tried to put what Tim was going through into full perspective for the rest of them; hoping it would calm them; enable them to think better; be more helpful; than worrisome.

Calmly walking up to his bedroom; knowing that it was the back corner of his closet that Tim was hiding in; feeling safe in; he sat down on the bed; closing the bedroom door. He wanted to keep this conversation private and keep Tim from being able to run so easily.

"Okay; Tim; I'm here. Talk to me." Gibbs said; not making any moves toward the closet.

_"I can't stop."_ Tim's distressed voice came from within the closet.

"Can't stop what, Tim?"

_"Rocking"_

"Why can't you stop it?"

_"I don't have Mom anymore_" Tim's voice broke and his sobs let loose.

Getting up off the bed; Gibbs moved the clothes in the closet and reached his hand down to Tim. "Come on; let's get you up off the floor." Gibbs firmly stated.

Tim took Gibbs' hand and let himself be helped up off the floor. Once he was on his feet; Gibbs gently guided Tim over to the bed and urged him; with a little pressure on his shoulder; to sit down. As Tim sat; he then laid down on the bed; rolled himself over; away from Gibbs; and curled into a ball of human misery; Gibbs sighed in frustration as he took out his phone.

"Abby. you and Ziva get up here; my room. Tell Tony to wait for Ducky."

Less than 30 seconds later; Gibbs was opening his door to the ladies. He silently stepped aside; pointing to this bed; and the suffering agent currently on it. "Keep him calm." was the only instruction Gibbs gave; as he sat back in his chair in the corner of the room; and let the women take care of Tim. Since Tim knew them well; he would know they weren't trying to take his mother's place; and he'd be okay with their help.

Hearing Ducky come in down stairs; Gibbs got up; comfortable with Tim being okay with Ziva and Abby.

"Stay with him." The look in Gibbs eyes backed up the tone in his voice; this wasn't Bossman giving orders; this was surrogate father taking care of his wounded, grieving child.

"As if I would leave him alone." Abby sounded almost offended by the idea. Ziva took it on the chin.

Gibbs walked out of his room; only to return with an extremely worried Ducky; moments later. When Ducky was quiet; something was wrong and Ducky wasn't saying a word. Tony was silent, too.

Abby and Ziva stepped back out of Ducky's way; giving him the necessary room to check Tim's vitals and satisfy his concerns over him.

Tim roused himself out of his childlike state of terror; when he felt Ducky begin to check his vitals.

_"Ducky?"_

"Yes, Timothy. How are you feeling?"

_"Really, really tired; like I haven't slept in a week!_

"Well, that's to be expected; young man; your body's been through a shocking experience and needs time to recover. Are you hungry?"

_"No."_

"When is the last time you ate something?"

_"I can't remember."_

"Breakfast this morning." Gibbs recalled for them. "Duck; he needs a shower and some dinner; whether he wants it or not." Gibbs ordered. "Abby; get him some clothes from his room; Tony; help Ducky get him in the shower. Ziva; why don't you come help me fix him something to eat?" Gibbs felt better putting them all to work and Tim in motion.

Thirty minutes later had everyone back downstairs in the kitchen; having dinner. Tim did feel better; now that he'd had a shower. After they were done eating; The younger four headed to the living room to watch a movie. Ducky and Gibbs took that time to strategise for Tim's sake.

When the noise level got loud; some 30 minutes later; Gibbs went in to check on whatever it was that was going on. When he got to the living room; what he found was a noisy board game in progress. Smiling; Gibbs checked over each of his people; making sure they seemed okay. Seeing them happily playing monopoly and keeping Tim involved and actively participating brought a smile of relief to Gibbs' face. Locking eyes with Tim; Gibbs gave him a piece of that encouraging smile; before he turned and headed back to the kitchen to finish his conversation with Ducky.

"So, Duck; can you do it?" Gibbs asked.

"Certainly, Jethro. I'll make the call first thing in the morning."

"Great."

"But, my dear fellow; you'll have to be the one to talk Timothy into it. I still believe he'll be upset at the thought of talking to someone he doesn't know. I'm sure he would rather talk to you."

"Duck, it's gonna come down from Jen, anyway; this way here; it'll be his decision before it's her order. Might be easier comin from you first; as a suggestion. And he can't talk to me; or anyone else he knows; he'll keep looking out for everyone else's feelings and stresses; and won't concentrate on himself; and this has to be about him."

"I certainly see you are right about this ; all right. I certainly hope it makes the difference you belief it will for him, Jethro." Ducky let out.

"We can hope, Duck, we can hope." Gibbs answered seriously; as they made their way to the living room to join the younger team members.

While the game was still in full swing; Tim was waning. His face was white and pinched with exhaustion being held at bay by the effects of a horrible day. It was obvious to anyone who looked closely enough that the young man was barely holding it together; even enveloped in Abby's arms; as he was. Funny; he'd looked happier just a few minutes ago.

"_Tim, come here for a minute."_ Gibbs quietly requested from across the room; on the couch; wanting to talk to him privately. Some things don't need to be shared with the team; even if they were family; Some things can be kept private; even if they seem trivial.

Tim withdrew from Abby and walked over to Gibbs. Not looking anywhere, seeming to look right thru the wall; he waited to hear what Gibbs wanted.

"_Tim, sit. Look at me, please."_ Gibbs quietly bid, as he placed a hand of support on Tim's arm. _Do you need Ducky to give you something to help you sleep?"_ he asked, concern etched in his voice and in his eyes.

"Probably." Tim admitted quietly; his fear of today's memories and images; clearly visible; again; to those who were looking for it.

"Timothy, I want you to consider talking to someone; starting tomorrow." Ducky quietly requested; as he sat down on the other side of him; on the couch.

"Yeah? Well, yeah; I guess The Director's gonna order me to anyway; isn't she?" Tim asked with resignation

"Yeah; that's a pretty safe bet. But even if she doesn't; I certainly think you need this." Gibbs admitted.

"As do I, Timothy." Ducky told him with compassion.

"All right. You can't both be wrong; that never happens." Tim said in all seriousness; leading Gibbs and Ducky to both smile.

"You know someone?" Tim asked without a fight.

"Leave it to us, my dear boy. We'll take care of everything for you." Ducky enthusiastically promised. "You just need to do your part by getting a proper night's rest and eating well.

"I'll do my best." Tim promised quietly; knowing he'd probably get neither on this night since he couldn't get his brain to shut down.

"Let me go get you something to help you sleep; all right?" Ducky got up and went to the kitchen.

Gibbs looked Tim over and decided a little bit of different encouragement might be in order. Reaching into his shirt pocket; he took out two pieces of paper and as he handed them to the young man; he told him. "Here; these helped me through some of my darkest hours; maybe they'll help you."

"Thanks, Boss." Tim offered as he took the papers and read them.

_

* * *

Why be afraid if I'm not alone?  
Though life is never easy, the rest is unknown  
Up to now, for me, it's been hands against stone  
Spent each and ev'ry moment  
Searching for what to believe_

_(Chorus:)  
Coming out of the dark  
I finally see the light now  
And it's shining on me  
Coming out of the dark  
I know the love that saved me  
You're sharing with me_

_Starting again is part of the plan  
And I'll be so much stronger holding your hand  
Step by step, I'll make it through; I know I can  
It may not make it easier  
But I have felt you near all the way - __"Comin' Out of the Dark - Gloria Estefan_

* * *

_When you're up against a struggle that shatters all your dreams  
__And your hopes have been crushed by Satan's manifested schemes  
__And you feel the urge within you to submit to earthly fears  
__Don't let the faith you're standin in seem to disappear_

_Praise the Lord,  
__He can work through those who praise Him  
__Praise the Lord,  
__for our God inhabits praise  
__Praise the Lord;  
__For the chains that seem to bind you  
__serve only to remind you  
__that they drop powerless behind you  
__When you praise him. - "Praise The Lord" - The Imperials_

* * *

"The first one was given to me after Shannon and Kelly were killed" Gibbs told him. "The second was from my mother's funeral service"

Tim silently nodded his understanding as tears formed in his eyes; touched that Gibbs would share this piece of himself with him; he was speechless; but deeply grateful. Folding the pieces of paper up; he reverently placed them in his shirt pocket then looked up at Gibbs. "Thank you."

"hope they help, Tim. Are you ready to hit the hay? Go find Ducky; he'll be standing by anxiously awaiting your arrival at his prescription stop." Gibbs attempted to joke.

Tim smiled back at him as he got up off the couch; told his team mates 'night, guys. Thank you. For everything." and left in search of Ducky.

* * *

Two hours later found Gibbs finally alone with his thoughts. Promising that he could handle things from here; he'd made Tony; Ducky; Abby and Ziva all go home after Ducky had sucessfully gotten Tim to sleep. As he contemplated the events of the day they'd just lived through; Gibbs heart hurt. As much as he was trying to be here for his agent; his own grief was burning; just below the surface.

He couldn't sleep. His mind was grinding away at the what and why's of the day. The thought process that Tim's mind had gone thru; just to get through the day; kept Gibbs feeling extremely worried that Tim's ordeal with this was far from over. What had that thought process done to the probability of Tim's mind going through the events of this tragedy in his sleep tonight?

Right on cue; Tim's cries reaching out from his sleep; carried down the stairs.; breaking Gibbs' reviere; catching his heart In his throat while he raced to his bedroom to help.

"_Come on, Tim, you're okay. Come on back to now, Tim" _Gibbs brought his tone back to soothing, while he massaged Tim's arms and back, trying to get him to shake loose from his nightmare.

Tim's body stopped shaking and his cries faded to wimpers of pain. Gibbs words were having some effect.

"_TIM!" _Gibbs second calling of his name with volume and conviction did the job; as Tim's eyes suddenly flew open and he froze; body and voice. Confusion radiated from him.

"It's okay, Tim." Gibbs soothed.

"Boss?" Tim's bewildered and exhausted voice asked.

"Yeah, Tim, it's me and you're okay." Gibbs answered him.

Tim rolled over and looked up at his boss. Wordlessly he struggled to deal with this; this wound now bare and radiating agonizing pain. Once only a suspicion of reality; now painfully and permanently real and haunting him .Gibbs watched the emotions flash thru Tim's expressive eyes. Fear, Confusion; despair; pain; yeah it was all in there. Poor kid; damn good thing he had company watch over him thru this.

Silently, he squeezed Tim's arm in sympathetic support. His understanding smile seemed to ease Tim's tension slightly. His agent was still as tight as a stretched out steel cable; ready to snap back at any second.

"It's okay, Tim; don't let it overwhelm you again." Gibbs quietly encouraged.

Tim expression turned his way plainly and silently asked, _How the hell do I do that?_

"I know it's hard. Suddenly not able to reclaim sleep; the horrific, brutal scene in on the news reports; freshly stamped in his mind; Tim curled up in a ball; trying to hide away from it all. It wasn't working. He was beginning to feel the whirlpool of misery opening up underneath his feet again.

Opening his eyes; he looked over at Gibbs; the relief at the visual reminder that he wasn't alone, so obvious on Tim's face and in his eyes that Gibbs sent up a silent prayer of thanks that he'd had the sense that Tim needed company now and not later.

"Hey, talk to me." Gibbs quietly invited.

That's all Tim needed to hear. It was the security blanket he needed when he needed it most. His huge sigh of relief was palpable and Gibbs was relieved when Tim sat up; kept his eyes on his and started talking.

"I can't get it out of my head. It's a practical joke; a really bad computer wallpaper." Tim's tortured voice tore at Gibbs' heart; the tears slipping down Tim's face ripped it open

"The news footage of your family's accident?"

Tim silently nodded; tears now streaming down his face.

"What is it that you need?" Gibbs continued to keep his voice quiet. There was no need for anything else.

"I just can't.. I don't know, Boss. I just feel so lost....so " Tim had never had so many unfinished sentences in his life before now. He was grateful that Gibbs understood what Tim had trouble voicing; what he could not bring himself to say.

"Tim, I understand; you know that I do. I know it feels like you're getting sucked under with the grief and the pain; and it doesn't help that it's fresh." Gibbs sympathetically related; knowing it would be easier for Gibbs to express it for him than for him to try to express it himself.

"Yeah." Tim looked away; the tears flowing harder now.

Gibbs gave him all the time he needed; keeping silent company with the young man who didn't want to be alone; but hadn't asked for anything more than Gibbs' presence. Encouraging him to give himself time to grieve; again. Apparently, a minute was all the time Tim was gonna allow himself. Silently he wiped the tears from his face and took a deep breath. As he expelled the deep breath; he looked at Gibbs and once again, offered up a weak smile of thanks. While Gibbs knew the thanks was there and genuine; he didn't miss the fact that the smile was a long way from reaching Tim's eyes.

Gibbs genuinely smiled back at his agent and silently gestured toward the pillow. In soothing, companionable silence, both men silently waited for sleep to find Tim again. Tim's eyes didn't have the full intensity of outright misery they had earlier; but they weren't any where close to happy or pain free. His calm and quiet demeanor didn't fool Gibbs for a minute; it did however; signify that Tim was done indulging in the emotions that were running wild in his brain. When he uncurled from his ball and looked at Gibbs again, it was to quietly thank him for everything. He then got comfortable and made an obvious effort to go back to sleep and Gibbs stepped back; sat in the chair in the corner; and let him have at it.


	20. Hiding in Plain Sight

Tim found himself; the next morning; actually wide awake and mentally ready to face the day. It was like he'd left the whole ordeal behind in his sleep. Looking at the clock; he found it was only 5 am. Making his way down to the kitchen; he started Gibbs' coffee and got out the eggs and other ingredients to make breakfast. Fifteen quiet minutes later; Gibbs still hadn't put in an appearance and breakfast was ready. Setting everything aside; Tim went to take his shower and get ready for work. Even though it was earlier than he was used to getting ready; Tim was antsy and couldn't sit still. He had a lot of stuff to get done at work today. It had been a while and he wanted to get back to his mission; get it done.

Gibbs made his appearance in the kitchen while Tim was in the shower. Pleasantly surprised at the coffee made early; he knew he'd forgotten to turn the timer on last night; and breakfast waiting; he could only smile. Ten minutes later, Tim returned to the kitchen, ready and rarin to go.

After looking him over carefully; Gibbs was a little bothered that there was absolutely no trace of the hell Tim had just been through. It was like he was trying to bury it deep down; and that wasn't a wise choice. But, since Tim had agreed to go talk to someone, Gibbs left well-enough; for now; alone. He would make sure he spoke with this Dr; before they started any sessions with Tim. The last thing any of them wanted was for the poor kid to be raked over the coals repeatedly; and everyone knew that shrinks are well known for going through the _"Can you tell me why_ _you..."_ routine. That was NOT gonna happen with Tim. The Doc would be privy to the case file and the police reports; all of it; and would need to read it well before he would even allow them to talk to Tim.

Mornin, Boss." Tim greeted with a genuine smile. _Okay, this __**isn't **__good_. _He **is** burying it. Hell; it looks like he's already in denial about it! Damn it; I have to leave it to the shrink to help him through it. I've gotta get back into the case files._ Gibbs reluctantly reminded himself.

"Mornin. you seem to be in a fine mood this mornin. Sleep okay?" Gibbs asked carefully.

"Great. Thanks to you. And I mean, Thank you." Tim answered.

"No problem. Thanks for breakfast and the coffee. Almost ready to head in? " Gibbs decided to do things Tim's way; unwilling to make waves for him at this point.

Gibbs' mind jumped to the many painful hurdles that still had to be handled with this young man. Jenny had picked up the Traffic Accident Report before they'd returned to D.C. yesterday. Tim's family's lawyer had already called him; wanting to talk to Tim. And those two things alone; would create domino effects for him. First things first; though and the first thing was for Tim to have a chance to open up to a Psychologist. Gibbs refused to allow anyone to talk to Tim before the Therapist did. That would happen later this morning.

"Sure am, Boss." Tim answered with more energy then he'd had in the entire last month. Something was off and Gibbs just hoped it wasn't too serious or too buried; that it could be resolved in Tim's best interests.

When they got to work; Gibbs immediately went to see Ducky while Tim went straight to his desk. As Tim got started with what he needed to get done; he emailed Abby; reminding her that he would need her help.

"Jethro. What can I do for you this morning? I have arranged with Dr. Wilson. He will be here in an hour and a half to talk with you before he sees Timothy."

"That's great. Thanks, Duck. You got some time?" Gibbs asked.

"Certainly, Jethro; what seems to be the problem?"

"Tim. All of a sudden he's 'happy-go-lucky'. I don't like it. Not after the last couple of days he's just been through; after what we saw yesterday. Talk to him; give me your opinion." Gibbs requested. "We need to show him the accident report from the Boulder Police. Jenny picked it up before we came back yesterday. Not to mention, his family's lawyer's nipping at our heels for a chance to talk to him. In your opinion.I need to know if he's gonna be able to handle it. I already know what I think."

"Certainly, Jethro. But, we both know, Timothy in all liklihood is just burying this tragedy; wanting to get things back to normal. And I'm sure he will ask about the accident report when he's ready. It's for certain that the lawyer can wait at least a few days; until Timothy has a chance to get his bearings." Ducky reminded him.

"Yeah, Duck; I figured that out. But, that's just it; that's Tony's way of handling things. This is not Tim. I can wait on giving him the report. I already told the lawyer he had to wait until at least Friday." Gibbs answered.

"Well, we know you certainly know your team; and I agree; I need to speak with the young man; especially before he reads that this wasn't an accident; that he was right.." Ducky agreed. "I applaud your directness with the lawyer, Jethro."

Walking over to Ducky's desk phone, Gibbs hit the speaker phone and dialed Tim's desk.

"Agent McGee."

"Timothy," Ducky took over the call. "I would like a moment of your time, if you please. Could you come down here?"

"Sure, Ducky; I'll be right there." Tim cheerfully answered; getting to his feet; he hit the stairs; wanting the exercise.

* * *

Thirty minutes later, Tim headed back to his desk. When he got to there; the squad room was empty. _'Thank God'_ he muttered; taking in the golden silence with no one watching him. Refusing to give in to anything other than work; Tim once again got busy getting things accomplished. Ducky's conversation with him still ringing in his ears:

"Timothy, my dear boy; I wanted to see for myself how you are doing this morning."

"I'm fine, Ducky; I know Gibbs probably already told you that." Tim wasn't fooled.

"Well, yes; he did say something of that nature. Timothy; you must forgive an old man for his need to be certain of these things. After all; you did have a most unpleasant day yesterday and one can not expect to bounce right back immediately."

"Ducky; I'm okay. Really."

"Very well; then Timothy. Do not hesitate to come see me if you should need anything. Your appointment is set for later this morning with Dr. Wilson. He's one of the best. He will take good care of you."

"Thank you Ducky; for everything."

* * *

Gibbs returned to Autopsy He'd gone to see Abby while Ducky waited to talk to McGee. After talking to Ducky once again; he left him the accident report to go through. He'd been right; Tim was in the process of burying everything; denying himself the right and the means to begin to even process; much less recover; from the events of the last few weeks.

Luckily, Ducky had an appointment set up for Tim with a doctor friend of his for counseling. The first session was slated for a mere two hours from now. As Gibbs had insisted; the sessions would be held within the confines of NCIS and the Doctor; this Dr. Wilson; would talk to the team first; individually.

As he sat at his desk; he looked Tim over; covertly. Tim obviously wasn't going to talk about it; so he wouldn't appreciate being watched over. Not seeing anything particularly worrisome; Gibbs left him alone and turned his attention to work. A half later; Gibbs' phone rang;

"Yeah. Gibbs." he answered. When he was told that Dr. Wilson had arrived; he closed off the phone call and headed down to Autopsy to meet the good doctor who would be trusted to help see Tim through this ordeal. Dr. Wilson was a stark opposite of Ducky. He was tall; pencil thin; quiet and reserved. Gibbs wondered if this man would be capable of drawing Tim out of his present state of denial. As the two men shook hands; Gibbs thoughts must have transferred to the Dr; as he seemed to know exactly what Gibbs was thinking.

_"Don't worry, Agent Gibbs; I will be able to help your Agent McGee"_

"Dr. Wilson; I'm not looking for promises here; especially ones that can't be kept. What I am looking for is your word that Agent McGee will not have to hear the words. "_So, young man, can you tell me why you're here?_" ! Gibbs said with unmistakeable steel. "What I'm looking for is that Tim will feel safe and comfortable with you; enough to tell you what he's too polite to tell us."

"Keep in mind; Dt. Wilson; Timothy has had bad experiences with your profession before. He was also bullied horribly in school because he was a child genuis; younger than his peers; a computer geek; if you will." Ducky explained further.

"Ah, I see.

"No, you don't. But, that's my point. You need to see." handing the doctor; the file on Tim's case; the accident report; the Autopsy report; everything they had; to the Dr. "You need to see what brought him here; to the point where he needs you; without forcing him to relive any details." Gibbs and Ducky stood by and waited for him to read it all; take it all in.

After what seemed like forever; Dr. Wilson looked up at Gibbs; with anger and determination sparkling in his eyes. "_I will do my best to help this young man. I understand your anger and your insistence that he not be forced to feel any more pain from this."_ Dr. Wilson promised. _"Is there anything else I might need to know before I speak with him?"_

"He believes that this isn't over; that it won't be until whoever's behind this has gotten him; too." Gibbs told him point blankly.

"Also, Dr. Wilson. I believe you will find that speaking to his teammates first will be of tremendous help to you." Ducky provided."They will be able to better provide you with input as to his character; which is where a lot of Timothy's problems are coming from. He's too kind hearted; looks out for everyone else before himself and in this case; it is detrimental to his well-being."

Gibbs nodded in silent agreement. "One more thing, Dr. Wilson. Anything that Tim needs to talk about; anything that you find out he needs to ask us; but is afraid to? You let us know. Don't let him not get the answers he needs; just because he's too scared of how we'll react to the question!"

Ducky nodded in silent approval and agreement.

_"Very well, then. Shall we begin?"_ Dr. Wilson's voice was just a hair bit shaky; apparently, beginning to get the gist of what was going on.

Escorting him up to a conference room; Gibbs pulled out his phone.

"DiNozzo!"

"Yeah, Boss?"

"Conference Room A. Now." Gibbs ordered. "Let Abby and Ziva know they're next.

"On it, Boss!"

As Tim watched first Tony; then Ziva go upstairs; presumably to talk to whoever it was Ducky had gotten him to talk to; his nerves attempted to get the best of him. As the worry began to march across his face; and doubts began creeping into his eyes; Gibbs watched from his desk; having been alerted to the problem when Tim had stopped typing for the first time all morning. Not understanding what Tim would have to be this worried about; and not wanting this to spiral out of control; Gibbs did something totally unorthodox;

"Come-on McGee; we're going for coffee. Hitting the button on his phone; he called Ducky and told him they'd be back in 20 min. Leaving a note on Tony's desk; they headed out; with Tim's mouth still hanging open in shock. Gibbs just shook his head at him and grinned. Leaving the talking for the doctor to handle; Gibbs just let Tim use this time to do what he needed to do. If he had something to say; Gibbs knew; the young man would get it out. If he didn't; that was okay, too.

It turned out to be the quietest trip for coffee that Gibbs had ever had; with company. While the chance to think was nice; it had been fraught with concern for the young man walking beside him; so quiet it was becoming nerve-wracking. Determined to let Dr. Wilson handle it; Gibbs fought hard with himself to stay quiet; to not ask Tim what was going through his mind. He could only hope he hadn't made things worse; by giving Tim time to think away from the office. He did seem to be calming down; so maybe it had been the right thing to do.

When Gibbs had told him they were going for coffee; Tim was shocked. Then he'd been scared. This coffee run was extended to him because he was a bundle of nervous anxiety and Gibbs hadn't missed it. Gibbs never missed anything; he read people too well. So, this meant he wanted Tim to talk about it; whatever it was that was driving his restlessness. But, as the coffee shop loomed in the distance; and Gibbs had yet to say anything; Tim finally realized that this was one of those times that Gibbs wasn't pushing him to talk. This was one of those times that Gibbs had known he needed to do something with himself and had taken care of that need. Once again, Tim sent up a silent "thank you" for one Leroy Jethro Gibbs.

When they got back to the squad room; Gibbs went with him to the conference room. Dr. Wilson was waiting. After Ducky made the introductions; Tim was left alone to begin his first session:

* * *

"_Agent McGee."_

"Tim. Please." Tim offered.

"_All right. Tim. Let me begin by explaining exactly what it is that I already know; so we don't have to cover that stuff again; all right? I've read the case report that was opened on your situation as of Thursday, Sept 5, of this year and is technically still active; though no new leads have come in. I've also read the Accident Report from Boulder, Colorado; as well as the Autopsy Report on Jethro. And while I give you time to process that information; I'll step over here and get some coffee, all right.?"_

Tim was shell-shocked. _The Accident report? Jethro's Autopsy Report? His own case report? How? When? Why? Who would have given those to him?_

When Tim's expression was still shell-shocked a few moments later; Dr. Wilson answered the obvious questions.

"_Tim; Agent Gibbs; in trying to do what he felt was best for you; wanted me fully informed without having to drag any details from you. As a matter of fact; he was quite adamant about it. Apparently, the idea of you having to recount any of it angered him greatly. Just how angry does that man get, anyway?" _Dr. Wilson tried to throw in a touch of humor.

"Gibbs did that? For me?" Tim whispered.

"_Why? Didn't you think he would look out for you?"_

"Well, yeah; without a doubt; but…" Tim couldn't explain it.

"_It is a bit over the top for a supervisor; yes. I agree. But, apparently, this isn't a typical team of people or even a typical situation; either."_ Dr. Wilson advised.

Tim nodded silently.

"_Okay, let's talk about you."_

"Okay."

"_Tell me what happened when you awoke from your nap yesterday and the house was almost empty of people; except your team mates and Agent Gibbs."_ Dr. Wilson instructed.

"Tony woke me up; said Gibbs told him to so I wouldn't be up all night."

"_Go on."_

"When I got in the kitchen; Abby, Ziva and Gibbs were all there; watching me. Abby gave me a drink and told me I should go take a shower to make myself feel better. So I was going upstairs to take a shower."

"_What stopped you?"_

"I was headed up to my room. I've been at Gibbs' for so long; he's been calling it that for a while now. It was when I thought through what I was doing. I was going to _my room._

_What happened next? What thought crossed your mind after that one?_

_*********_

_Oh, God! I'm a homeless orphan at 32! Worse than that; I'm a homeless orphan at 32; who had a psychopath targeting me; who had already killed my family and my dog; and would be doing the same thing to me just as soon as they get their crazy hands on me!_

_Slammed with these horrible thoughts and reminders of everything I'd been through and what I had to look forward to; crumbled what little calm I'd managed to find. I found the deepest darkest corner of Gibbs' house; his bedroom closet and huddled in on myself; on the floor; and began rocking back and forth; trying to comfort myself like my mom used to do when I was a little boy._

_My Mom! Oh, God; I missed my mom. My Dad, too; of course. And Sarah; oh, God; let me wake up! I want them back; give me my family back!__ My reserve of tears was dry; but my misery and anquish was drowning me; keeping me floundering in its endlessness. Not even my hiding place was making me feel safe from the horrors I knew were waiting for me._

_*************_

_I see. That must have been truly terrifying for you. How did you deal with it?_

_*************_

_"Boss?"  
"Tim?""Boss, help, please." Tim's tortured whisper scared Gibbs almost to death.  
"Tim, where are you?"  
"Boss, help me." the whisper was the same; only different.  
"Tim. where are you?"  
"Hiding."  
"Why?"  
"So, they can't get me."  
"Tim, we need to make sure you're okay. Tell me where you are."  
"just need to be alone."  
"You called me for help."  
"feel better now. I'm okay, now."  
"where are you?" "  
Safe. now."  
"Tim, did you leave the house?"  
"course not."  
"okay. then; if you're where you want to be; and you feel safe there; just call me again if you need me; okay?"_

* * *

_So, Agent Gibbs gave you just what you seemed to need at the time?  
_Yes. But, I only felt safe for a minute.  
_Why?  
_"Everything came right back at me into my head."  
_What did you do?  
_"Called Gibbs again."

* * *

_"Tim." Gibbs answered with the recognition  
"Help. please. Boss."  
"Are you asking me to come find you and help you?" Gibbs demanded  
"Please." Tim whispered.  
"Okay. I'll be there in a minute." Gibbs promised_

* * *

_What happened next?_

_******************_

_"Okay; Tim; I'm here. Talk to me." Gibbs said; not making any moves toward the closet.  
__"I can't stop."__ Tim's distressed voice came from within the closet.  
"Can't stop what, Tim?"  
__"Rocking"__  
"Why can't you stop it?"  
__"I don't have Mom anymore__" Tim's voice broke and his sobs let loose  
Gibbs moved the clothes in the closet and reached his hand down to Tim. "Come on; let's get you up off the floor." _

_Tim took Gibbs' hand and let himself be helped up off the floor. Once he was on his feet; Gibbs gently guided Tim over to the bed and urged him; with a little pressure on his shoulder; to sit down. As Tim sat; he then laid down on the bed; rolled himself over; away from Gibbs; and curled into a ball of human misery; Gibbs sighed in frustration as he took out his phone._

_"Abby. you and Ziva get up here; my room. Tell Tony to wait for Ducky."_

_"Keep him calm. Stay with him." the tone in his voice; wasn't Bossman giving orders; this was surrogate father taking care of his wounded, grieving child._

_Tim roused himself out of his childlike state of terror; when he felt Ducky begin to check his vitals.  
__"Ducky?"  
__"Yes, Timothy. How are you feeling?"  
__"Really, really tired; like I haven't slept in a week!  
__"Well, that's to be expected; young man; your body's been through a shocking experience and needs time to recover. Are you hungry?"  
__"No."  
__"When is the last time you ate something?"  
__"I can't remember."_

_"Breakfast this morning." Gibbs recalled for them. "Duck; he needs a shower and some dinner; whether he wants it or not." Gibbs ordered. "Abby; get him some clothes from his room; Tony; help Ducky get him in the shower. Ziva; why don't you come help me fix him something to eat?_

* * *

_So, in other words; your entire team has been there to help you through this. _Dr. Wilson rationalized_.  
_  
"yeah. They really have.  
_  
Okay. When you woke up this morning; what was going through your mind?"  
_  
Things I have to get done; before I come up missing and don't ever come home again.  
_  
You seem to be relieved to have actually said that out loud._

I am.

_But, from what I understand; your teammates and even your boss understands that you feel this way.'_

Doesn't mean I can verbalize it. Why keep twisting the knife?

_Is there anything else you need to say that you feel you can't say to them?_

Can I ask you a question, first?

_Certainly._

What exactly did Gibbs say?

_When?_

When he talked to you.

_Suffice to say that he was very adamant that no one make any false promises to you or to your team mates in regard to you. I've also been told you're too polite for your own good; at the cost of your own needs sometimes._

I suppose_._

_Apparently, your entire team is concerned that this is one of those times. Most especially, when it comes to the relationship between yourself and Agent Gibbs._

It's never been a very close one.

_But this has changed that?_

Not by choice_._

_You don't really believe that do you?_

He certainly didn't ask for me to be dumped on his doorstep. He didn't ask for me to be stuck there; to have no where else to go.

_What has become of your relationship now?_

He's the only one that I feel completely safe around. He never asked for that responsibility either."

_Are you saying you don't think your relationship is stronger now?_

**_No. I'm saying that while it's stronger; at least for me; it wasn't his choice. And usually where's there's lack of choice; there's resentment. He's had his family; they were ripped away from him; while he was serving in the Marines; overseas. He never; ever talks about them; it's still much too painful for him; so how is shoving my family's deaths down his throat; strengthening our relationship?_** Tim had finally allowed the anger out. He was actually shouting now.

_So, you're afraid that while your relationship has been strengthened; having to help you deal with your family's deaths will damage it? Be too painful for him?_

"Yes!"

_Have you asked him?_

I just told you; he doesn't talk about it! He and Ducky had been friends for more than 10 years and he'd never told him!

_Would it help you; to know exactly how he feels about this?_

Not gonna happen.

_Why's that?_

Tim just stared at Dr. Wilson. _What wasn't he getting about this?_

Dr. Wilson calmly took on Tim's stare._ You remember you asked me what Agent Gibbs said to me while we talked earlier? What would think If you were to hear that he said this:_

_****************_

_One more thing, Dr. Wilson. Anything that Tim needs to talk about; anything that you find out he needs to ask us; but is afraid to? You let us know. Don't let him not get the answers he needs; just because he's too scared of how we'll react to the question!"_

_*******************_

Tim's mouth dropped open. Gibbs really felt that way? Wow. Oh, man! Wait; It doesn't matter. He still couldn't do it.

Dr. Wilson watched Tim battle with himself. Apparently, this young man had the stubbornness of a herd of bulls.

Taking out his phone; he dialed a #.

"Yeah. Gibbs."

_"Mind joining us in here for a minute?"_ Dr. Wilson asked calmly.

"Be right up." Gibbs was a little nervous. Tim had been so quiet lately; even taking him for coffee hadn't opened him up. Knocking on the door to the conference room; Gibbs waited until he heard.

_"Come in."_

Immediately looking to his agent, as he walked into the room; Gibbs could tell that Tim was upset. His hands were clenched; his face had lost color and he looked pissed.

"What's going on?" he didn't hide the rising anger. If this Dr. was forcing Tim to talk; to go through anything that…"

_"Agent Gibbs; please; relax. There's no reason to be getting angry. I know you can see that Tim's upset. The reason for that is because I asked him a question in reference to you; that he is unwilling to; in turn; ask you; as he **needs** to._

_"_That true, Tim?" Gibbs asked quietly.

Silence.

"Tim; don't do this. Talk to me." Gibbs requested.

"Can't."

"You know better than that."

Tim finally looked up at Gibbs; eyes locked on his as he finally admitted; "It's too personal."

"After everything you've just been through; _now_; it's too personal?

"For. You."

Several long; quiet minutes went by while Gibbs put the pieces together. When they came together; he didn't like the picture he was looking at.

"This about Shannon and Kelly? What does your situation; your family's…. Oh. Oh, no. don't tell me that you've been locking everything up inside because you think I can't handle helping you? This is why you've been as quiet as a mouse all day?

Tim silently nodded.

"Yes, I've lived through the loss of my family, Tim; and now you; unfortunately; share a similar experience; but that does not mean you can't talk to me about it! Don't you get it? It's because I've been through it; that I can help you.

"Boss, you know I mean no disrespect; but it's you who doesn't get it. You. Shouldn't Have. To."

Gibbs felt like he'd been sucker-punched.

"You're holding everything in; so I won't have to help you? Because I've had my share of pain; knowing you; that's exactly what you've convinced yourself of; right?"

Tim nodded.

"There's more; spit it out before it chokes you"

Dr. Wilson sat up and paid attention. _Wow. Agent Gibbs really did know his people!_

"Talk through it; you know the drill."

"All that pressure I put on you about only trusting you. I shouldn't have done that either."

Gibbs crouched down in front of Tim and looked him right in the eye; "Timothy McGee; you listen to me; and you listen good! You listenin' to me? I want you to think back to what I told you about you being an important part of this family? Did you not hear that? Did you not hear me tell you that I understood what you meant when it came to feeling safe? Did you not hear me tell you that you could come to me with anything? How bout the part where I ordered you not to keep secrets from me or keep how you were feeling bottled up? Huh? News flash for you Agent McGee; you just flunked your on the spot exam. Time to take it again! This time; I expect you to follow the rules!

Tim felt the tears slide down his face.

"Tim, listen to me," Gibbs tone softened; pissed at himself for coming on too strong. "I don't want you worrying about what the rest of us can and can't handle; okay? "

"Right now? Right now; you need to let the team be there for you; it's time is for you to let yourself recover and try to heal; to get whatever help you need from all of us. And rest assured that I am not upset or feeling put out or resentful that this has brought you under my roof."

"I'm not angry or upset that I'm available to help you through this. If I feel any of those things; and I do; but without a doubt; it's toward the bastards that are behind this nightmare they're putting you through!"

"And this nonsense about "shouldn't have to?" Don't torture yourself about this! Answer me this; what would you say to any of your team mates if they had told you that?"

"It's not the same thing." Tim said through his tears.

"No. No, it's not; but what would your answer to them be? We both know the answer to that one; don't we?"

"that's what families do."

"Exactly. That doesn't change because it happened to be my family that died, Tim. Or yours." Gibbs voice had gone soft with sympathy.

"Thanks, Boss." Tim whispered; still rattled by Gibbs initial response; by all of it.

Gibbs took one more look at his shaken agent and pulled him to his feet; and wrapped his arms around him; anchoring him back to the team. "You're okay. It doesn't matter what you need to talk to me about; I'm here for you. You need to let us in; remember?" Gibbs encouraged in his ear. "Don't you make the same mistake I made, Tim; don't you hold it in like I did; like I still do. Promise me!"

Tim nodded; tears of relief coursing down his face.

Dr. Wilson sat back; flabbergasted. He'd never seen anything like it!

Gibbs stepped back; but still held Tim firmly by the arms. Looking him over; he shook him ever so slightly. "Okay?"

Tim nodded.

"Uh Huh. You know how this works."

"Yeah, Boss; I'm okay. Thank you." Tim's tremulous smile reassured Gibbs enough to let go of his agent and let him regain his footing. After a minute; with Tim finally okay; Gibbs turned his attention to the Doctor. "Thank you;" he gave as he left the room.

Dr. Wilson gave Tim some time to regain his composure. After a few silent minutes; Tim actually broke the silence himself.

"Wow."

"Did that answer your questions; Resolove your doubts?" Dr Wilson asked.

"Oh. Yeah."

"Anything else you need to talk about? Ask?"

"No, Actually; if it's okay; I think I've reached my limit for the day. I feel really wiped out." Tim admitted.

"All right. I would like for us to meet again tomorrow afternoon, is that okay with you?" Dr. Wilson asked.

"That. That would be good." Tim's voice was one of disbelief. Did this young man really think he'd just be dropped like a hot potato? Yeah, obviously; he did.

_"He's had bad experiences with your profession before."_

As Dr, Wilson left the conference room; Ducky escorted him down while Tim stayed behind to get his bearings. He didn't have any energy and at the present time; his motivation had disappeared.

As Ducky escorted out; they stopped in the squad room to speak with Gibbs.

"Agent Gibbs; Thank You. You and your team have made my job; my ability to help Time a lot easier. His chances to stay on his feet now; are better now, too. I'll be back tomorrow afternon to talk with him again, see how he's holding up."

"Dr. Wilson; thank you." Gibbs offerred.

"Officer David; Agent, DiNozzo; good evening."

When Ducky came back to the squad room; Gibbs accompanied him back to the conference room; fully expecting Tim to still be there. Sure enough; upon reaching the room; they found Tim standing at the window; lost in thought; calmed by the sight of the sea stretched out before him. Not wanting to disturb his tranquil moment; yet needing to see that he ws okay; Gibbs walked up behind him; knowing that his reflection would let the young man know he was there.

Sure enough; it wan't long before Tim noticed Gibbs was here. Quickly, Tim turned away from the window and began to move away from it. Gibbs stopped his movement with a firm hand to the shoulder.

"Okay?"

"Yeah, Boss; I'm okay." Tim McGee said with a smile that almost reached his eyes.


	21. Trying to Sort Through It All

_"Okay?"  
"Yeah, Boss; I'm okay." Tim McGee said with a smile that almost reached his eyes._

"Anything we need to talk about?" Gibbs asked him.

"The Accident Report? " Tim's voice was that of pleading for understanding that he needed to see it.

"Are you sure you're ready for it, Timothy?" Ducky asked in concern. The three of them moved to the table and sat down.

"No; but I know I need to. I know they'll be cops down here wantin my 'statement' and I won't know anything about what happened up there." Tim admitted with open honesty and frustration; both of which Gibbs was happy to see. Tim wasn't hiding what he was feeling anymore; which was good. "I'm sure Mr Edwards will be knocking down our door soon, too." Tim said with a grimace.

"If this Mr. Edwards is your parents' lawyer; then the answer to that is; 'he's already been calling. The Director told him he could talk to you on Friday'." Gibbs told him.

"Boss, no offense; but my family can't wait until Friday." Tim explained in concern.

"Already taken care of, Timothy. As per your parent's instructions to Mr. Edwards; left for him in a letter in the event of something like this. He and Director Shepard ironed out the details that were necessary for now." Ducky explained.

"Wow; that was nice of her. Okay; what about the funeral?" Tim asked; looking directly at Gibbs for the answer.

"Director Shepard has taken that responsibility on quite willingly; Timothy. She'll be meeting with you later to discuss the details and your wishes. Right now, she is; as we told you helping Mr. Edwards follow your parents' last wishes in that regard; and apparently; one of their most pressing concerns was to make sure this burden did not rest on your shoulders." Ducky patiently explained.

"Okay, then; let's talk about the accident report.' Gibbs said.

* * *

An hour later; having returned to the squad room; Tim once again allowed himself to become engrossed in the tasks he had set for himself to complete. Completely zoning out while working; Tim didn't even realize that anyone was looking at him; as Tony and Ziva both were; in concern. He was once again; too quiet and too pale; not to mention way too driven at whatever it was he was doing. Since it wasn't case work; it only drove their concern up a notch.

He hadn't had good news when going over the report from his family's car accident. The report only shed more bad news on the already dark and painful situation. No skid marks meant no brakes. No brakes meant mechanical faliure; which; without an adequate inspection on the car; which was not possible; thanks to the fire that had engulfed the vehicle; burning for what had reported to have been 5.5 hours; could now not be proven.

The convertible top had been retracted. The time of discovery; having gone over the cliff; was unfortunately; many hours later - more than 6; according to estimations from the Dr. Smythe's preliminary estimation. None of this information helped; but in fact; seemed to wipe any trace of being okay; from Tim; completely. In it's place; was a once again; seriously withdrawn and obviously near the edge young man; continuing to work extremely hard at whatever it was he felt led to finish.

The only piece of good news had been that the form he'd been asked to fill out; loaded with questions about his family and related to the car accident; did they regularly not wear their seat belts; did they usually have the top down on their convertible; those kinds of things; was the result of Director' Shepard's iron fist brought down on the Boulder, Co; State Highway Patrol; and cops in that jurisdicition; no personal interview would be allowed; as he hadn't been there. This report; based on what would have been said personal interview; would stand in its' place. She had won that fight with the practical issues; leaving his emotional state out of it; even if that was what had driven her to be his guard dog. Whatever the rallying point was; Tim was thankful for her victory and her fight; on his behalf.

Tony patted McGee gently on the back; bringing him back to current time and place; with a start.  
"How are you doing, Probie?" Tony's quiet question left no room for teasing.

"Keeping busy Tony – it's the only...you know…." Tim's voice was still so quiet; Tony felt tears fill his eyes – the change in his Probie since their little pow-wow in Gibbs' basement was seriously disheartening.

"You need anything….anything at all McGee – just let me know." Tony offered solemnly.

"Thanks Tony." Tim sent Tony the small thin smile; the only one he's been capable of giving lately.

Tony and Ziva headed out on a coffee run for everyone; both needing the air and the exercise. Once they'd reached the open air outside; Ziva asked the burning question.

"How is he, Tony?" Ziva's concern unusually obvious in her tone.  
"Barely holding it together. Tony answered her, his heart unusually on his sleeve; enough that Ziva understood; Tony was as worried about Tim's state of mind; as Gibbs was.

He's too calm" Tony explained where his concern came from.

"How can we help?"

"By catching whoever's responble for this nightmare."

"I will want to ensure they die; slowly and painfully." Ziva reminded him.

""Get in line, Ziva." Tony's voice was potent with anger; for once; not bothering to explain away her obvious confusion at the american expression.

* * *

The next hour; the one they had to spare before his meeting with the Director; seemed to pass quickly; and with no further problems. Tim was grateful for that; as it gave him more time to get his list of things more accomplished. It also lent him no time to think or dwell on his personal issues outside of getting his plan accomplished. In an additional search; he was silently running searches on the suspects he'd narrowed down; that may be after him. Deliberately keeping mum on the subject; refusing to bring any more attention to himself; Tim kept that search discreet. The third thing he'd accomplished was updating the running timeline he'd instigated; to track this nightmare's course.

Sixteen days. From the start of this nightmare; when he first felt that unholy terror in his gut; until the day when his family was tragically ripped away from him; had been sixteen days. It was now day # 19 and Tim; all of a sudden; felt such an overpowering wave of white hot anger; he was ready to explode. Jumping up from his desk; he bolted from the squad room; with Tony and Ziva on his tail; in abject concern.

Gibbs watched with grave concern of his own; but let his team take reins on this one. He had seen the anger coming; and in fact; had been praying for it. Anger was good. That's what was needed to keep the young man from sinking into that pit; grief; while healthy; was also dangerous. Once a person falls into its pit; it's damn difficult to climb out of it; especially with a target on your back; and most especially, when having that target there; was the reason for your grief in the first place.

Sixty silent minutes later; his team returned to their desks with no sign of there having been any problem. In fact; the only sign that anything had happened at all; was the obvious signs that Tim's was hair still wet; and he had changed his clothes. _Good; he took care of it the healthy way; way to go Tim!_ Gibbs was proud of the way he was handling himself but still couldn't wait until the end of the day; this kid had had enough punches thrown at him in this round. It was time he was allowed a break.

Unfortunately; this guy still had more kicks to make it through. The next one being; his family's funeral. Getting up from his desk; Gibbs walked over to Tim's desk and looked him over; up close. After scrutinizing him intently for a good 30 seconds; making the kid actually start to squirm; Gibbs asked his question.

"Okay?"

"Yeah, Boss, I'm okay." Tim admitted; knowing that once again; Gibbs wasn't going to say anything about his actions earlier. And, once again; Tim was thankful.

"You ready for this?" Gibbs asked.

Tim froze; a look of loss crossed his face as his eye took on the glaze of a painful memory passing through.

_"what about the funeral?"_  
_"Director Shepard has taken that responsibility on quite willingly; Timothy. She'll be meeting with you later to discuss the details and your wishes."_

"Yes; but only because I have to." Tim admitted. The look on his face said more than his words; and Gibbs waited until they were alone in the elevator; using it instead of the stairs; for its privacy. Stopping it in his usual manner; Gibbs turned to his agent and once again; looked him over.

"Boss, I'm okay, really." Tim knew what Gibbs was doing.

"Really? You wouldn't be trying to lie to me would you, by any chance?" Gibbs asked cryptically.

"No!"

"IF you are fine; what is it that's running through that brain of yours; that has me thinking that you're not so okay?" the boss asked more concerned than angry.

Tim gave himself a second to process the question and the concern behind it. Finally; having been granted permission to fess up; Tim's stocism left him and he found himself unable to remain on his feet. Stepping back against the wall; he slid down to the floor and let his head fall back to the wall. Closing his eyes to ward off eveything trying to escape; not willing to fall apart at work again; he tried to reign it all back in; lock it all away; at least until he was in his room at Gibbs' house. Tim's stress; determined to have an outlet; made itself known by his suddenly ragged breathing and shaking shoulders. _Damn it; he was falling apart_ _anyway!_

Gibbs squatted down in front of him and put a comforting hand on one of his shaking shoulders. Calmness seemed to radiate off the older man and surprisingly enough; Tim did find himself able to stop the emotional crisis from going any further. After a silent minute that he used to regain control of himself; Tim smiled his thanks and answered the question; in brutal honesty; which he knew Gibbs would appreciate; especially, given the current situation.

"I just don't know how much more I can take, Boss; and it makes me think I'm not helping my chances of making it through this; if I can't even keep it together now." Tim admitted. "which, in turn brings back the black hole; the endless terror that I see in my sleep at night." Tim; once giving his words a chance to come out; totally forgot to safeguard what did come out; for once. The look of distress at letting that admission come out; was obvious.

Gibbs was more than a little upset. Puling Tim back up to his feet; he demanded "Why haven't you told me about this?"

"Just _how much_ do you want me to dump on you, Boss? Tim was now frustrated and pissed at himself. Gibbs was never supposed to know about his ongoing night terror; since Tim always managed to somehow wake up before it got too completely out of hand.

"Everything. That's what the team is trying to do; help you with all of it; anything you hide; you try to handle alone; will keep you here;" Gibbs pointed to Tim; knowing he would understand where the "here" was; that Gibbs was talking about. "Why can't you get this through your head?"

"I'm sorry; it's not about keeping things from you; it's about keeping things away from you."

"I want you to stop doing it. I need you to stop doing it. The team needs you to stop doing it. Do understand?" Gibbs pushed; his tone quiet; yet demanding.

"Yes." Tim's answer; both short and guilt ridden.

"Okay." Gibbs answer was equally short and cut the conversation off without room for doubt. Hitting the switch; he set the elevator back in motion as he; once again asked; "Are you ready for this?"

"Yes. Boss; I'm ready as I'm every gonna be for this; and I need to get it over with." Tim admitted.

"Okay. You just remember; you are not alone in this. We're here for you. You just have to ask. None of us are mind readers; and you do tend to expect that of us."

* * *

Thirty minutes later had both agents back at thier desks and packing it in for the day. Tony and Ziva had already packed it in; and were just waiting to make sure Tim was okay before they left. The team walked out together; and went their seperate ways. The trip to Gibbs' house was a quiet one; as Tim was lost in his thoughts and Gibbs was unwilling to disturb him. The young man had a hellova lot going on; had been through more than most people go through in a lifetime; in the last few weeks. Even when the reached the house; Tim remained locked up inside his thoughts; only thinking of his surroundings enough to know where he was and to smile his thanks at Gibbs when it seemed appropriate.

While Gibbs cooked dinner; Tim hit the shower. Dinner was quiet; neither one willing; as of yet; to break the silence. Both had enough on their minds to keep themselves lost in their own thoughts. While Tim cleaned up the kitchen; Gibbs retreated to his basement; hearing his boat call his name; needing the release he found in the steady working of his hands. The next few days would be rough and he sent up a prayer that things would get easier for his agent soon.

With the kitchen cleaned and coffee set to brew; Tim took his tired brain and hurting heart off to bed. He'd had enough of trying to think about things; now he just wanted to vegetate for a while; think about nothing; escape into nothingness; where no one would remind him of anything or expect things from him. The funeral was set for the day after tomorrow; at his parent's church in New York.

After restlessly tossing and turning for more than an hour; he gave up in frustration. Taking himself down to the dining room; Tim dove into free writing; not with the joy and whole heartedness he'd done it with before; but with the burning need to get the words out of his mind; and onto paper; before they got so jumbled he'd get lost in them. It wasn't long before he realized the words he was putting out were actually meaningful and had a purpose. It gave him the vision to keep going; and the ability to relax and get comfortable in what he was doing. As he typed; his mind went where the words had come from.

An hour later; Gibbs came up from the basement; intent on checking on his house guest; only to hear the sounds of Tim typing away in the dining room. Unwilling to disturb him; Gibbs took just a couple of seconds to watch him and look him over; making sure he was still okay. Tim's mind was well known for sending the young man spiraling out of control; emotionally; since this whole nightmare had begun; after all.

Realizing that this was something that Tim needed to do for himself; especially; given the day he'd just had; Gibbs left him to it. While he didn't necessarily like the lost in space look on him; as long as nothing else was going on; Gibbs could leave well enough alone. Unwilling to relive anything close to either of the two previous episodes where Tim had needed help in the midst of a serious crisis here at home; Gibbs didn't go far. He made his coffee; and settled in at the kitchen table with a book; to wait out Tim's creative streak for the night.

Giving himself this time to think and express himself like this; seemed to settle Tim's restlessness; calm his nerves; shift his brain into low enough gear; that he was able to allow his exhaustion to win over; Closing up his computer; he got up and headed for bed; through the kitchen; wanting a drink first. The sight of Gibbs actually using his kitchen as a place to relax and read; brought a grin to his face. And here; the whole team thought Gibbs never left his basement! Although, he didn't look up at him directly; Tim could feel Gibbs checking him over; looking for signs of trouble or problems. Smiling with gratitude; Tim offered.:

"Nite, Boss."; as he headed out; toward the stairs.

Without looking up or causing Tim to stop in his tracks; Bossman gave back; with a smile of his own; "Nite, Tim."

It was another hour before Gibbs made his rounds; making sure the house was locked down; and headed up to his room to get some sleep. Stopping to check on Tim; Gibbs found the door to Tim's room open; the ability to check on him was made that much simpler for it. But, then again; the reason for the door never being closed still stirred his sympathy for the young man. It was sad to realize that to this day; Tim could not handle being closed up in a room; this reminder brought a concern to the forefront of Gibbs' mind. In trying to prepare himself for the possibility that he would yet be taken by these psycho's; this problem had been overlooked; until now. It would be a primary concern tomorrow; tonight was done and sleep was needed.

Monday morning dawned bright and way too soon. Gibbs opened his eyes; looked at his clock; saw that it was almost 6; picked up his cell phone and called Jenny.

"Jethro, this is early; even for you. Is something wrong?"

"No, Jen. Just lettin you know; my team is taking the day off. Since we have to go to the funeral tomorrow; and this nightmare's been ongoing for weeks, now; we just need the day to catch our breath; We did; after all go in and get some stuff done yesterday." Gibbs reminded her.

"No problem, Jethro."

"Thanks, Jen." Gibbs got off the phone and went to make sure Tim's alarm clock didn't wake him. With that sucess under his belt along with the note he left him on the bedside table; he looked him over quickly; saw that he was still sleeping peacefully; and retreated back to his room to call the others. Once everyone had been notified of their day off and the arrangements for the following day; Gibbs went back to bed.

Tim awoke with the feeling that something was off. Looking around him; he noticed it was after 8 and there was a note on the table where he would be sure to see it.

_Tim;_

_relax; the team's got the day off. Sleep in._

_Gibbs_

While he appreciated Gibbs getting the the day off; he wasn't looking forward to having nothing to do to occupy his brain; or even his hands. Too much free time left way too much room for the thoughts and feeling he did not want to even go through right now. Wide awake; despite feeling wrung out and exhuasted; Tim took himself to the kitchen and started some coffee. When it was done; Tim took his cup; to the basement; feeling the need to be where he felt safe; but not completely locked up. He knew the rest of the house was locked up tight; but the openness of it up there suddenly left him feeling vulnerable. Curling up in the arm chair in the corner of Gibbs' basement; Tim soon fell back asleep; despite having drunk his first cup of coffee for the day.

When Gibbs awoke and looked at the clock; he noticed three things. One; fresh coffee had been made; as he could smell it. Two; something felt off; and three; it was after 9; which meant he had really been exhausted because he never slept this long; he was a Marine. Climbing out of bed; Gibbs put his mind back on the 2nd thing he'd noticed; something felt off. Forcing himself not to have any knee-jerk reactions; Gibbs set about checking on Tim first of all. Finding his agent's bed empty; unmade; and no sign that he'd even gotten dressed out of his pj's this morning; Gibbs hurried downstairs to find him. Taking the time to make a cup of coffee and drink some of it; so he could think straight; he searched for Tim quietly; if he was asleep somewhere; he didn't want to be waking him up. Finding his basement door open; gave him his first clue. Tim hardly ever went down there; and had never done so with out Gibbs having been down there first. Feeling unsettled; as if something bad was going on; Gibbs descended the stairs to the basement; after turning the light on. Hoping he'd find nothing wrong; he was surpised at what he did find; his missing agent; curled up in a ball; in his chair, peacefully sleeping.

Not knowing what to think of this turn of events; Gibbs sat himself down on his steps and gave it some thought. What would have drawn the young man down here? Was it a sign of a serious problem? Was it something that even needed to be addressed? It turned out; not but a short thirty minutes later; Tim was waking up; and carefully sitting up and stretching. Sensing he wasn't alone; Tim looked over at the stairs; to find his boss watching him with concern.

"You okay?" came the expected question.

"Yeah, Boss; I'm okay. Thanks. "

"Something you wanna tell me?"

"Huh? Oh, yeah; right; me being down here; huh? I just felt too exposed up there; I know that sounds really stupid, Boss; but I just couldn't shake that feeling." Tim's quiet; tired sounding explanation left Gibbs feeling parentally angry on his behalf. Now, the poor kid couldn't even feel at peace inside the house. Not wanting to dwell on it; or drag it out into a long painful discussion; Gibbs chose to move the conversation on to other pastures.

"I'm gonna tell DiNozzo to bring himself and a stack of those damn movies of his over here; let the two of you spend the day taking it easy." Gibbs said as he turned around and began climbing the stairs back up to the kitchen. "Breakfast'll be ready in 15 minutes."

Tim shook his head with a grin. It was good to see more of the old Gibbs coming back; tough; changing the subject off difficult ones; determined. Yeah; it was good to have him back. Lately; he'd been too wrapped up in keeping Tim afloat; to be his Marine tough self completely and Tim had felt bad about that. Now, maybe things could start to get better.

The rest of the day flew by amidst movies and team companionship and rest; it seemed like any time Tony attempted to start a movie; Tim fell asleep before it was even half-way through. By the end of the fourth attempt; Tony was acting put out; Gibbs was chuckling and Tim was actually beginning to feel less exhausted. The last movie Tony put in; he waited until Tim fell asleep before he left the room; determined to talk to Gibbs about this.

"Tony; stop fighting it; he needs to sleep." Gibbs told him as soon as Tony appeared in the kitchen doorway.

"Boss, he's not even staying awake for more than an hour at a time!"

"Tony, stop and think about it; this is really the first time he's had to catch any real sleep; without monsters and death following him into his dreams. When you go down the list of everything he's been through and still going through; I'm amazed he's getting any sleep at all."

"Yeah; I guess you're right. How is he; though?"

"He's a fighter, Tony and he's stubborn; but he's also very vulnerable right now and he feels it; to the point where he felt the need to curl up in the chair downstairs for security before I got up this morning."

"You're kidding! Why wouldn't he feel safe up here?"

"It's too open, too many windows and without someone else awake, keeping him company; it was too much for him."

"Wow; I knew he'd been quiet and getting more withdrawn lately; but I didn't realize he was feeling so scared even here, Boss."

"I have a feeling it might be about to get worse. After his family's funeral tomorrow; I'm fairly sure; his mind will fe-focus on what he still fears will happen next."

"Boss, I think..." Tony started to say.

"Spit it out, DiNozzo." Gibbs urged

"I think you should consider letting me stay here on your couch; at least for the next week or so; as extra protection and extra company; might help settle Probie's nerves; and keep him reminded that we're all here for him. Plus, it would help take some of this off of you."

Handing him his credit card; Gibbs smiled at Tony; and went to take a shower.

Tony stared at the credit card in shock; taking a couple of minutes before his almost shorted out brain figured out what Gibbs had just told him without words. _replace the couch; and make good on your suggestion;_ was the answer the small voice inside his head threw out at him. Wow! Taking out his cell phone; he quickly made a phone call; smiling when he was done. One new piece of living room furniture; on it's way!

Tony went back to the living room to watch over his Probie. No longer in the mood for any movie; he actually turned the sound down on it; until it was barely audibile; and sat watching; thinking; and hoping; that this would turn out okay; that whoever was behind this would stop kicking this kid while he was down. Lost in his own contemplative thoughts; he didn't hear Gibbs come back down stairs; didn't see his boss look him over in concern; and didn't even hear Gibbs let Abby, Ziva and Ducky in.

Keeping things quiet; Gibbs ushered Ducky and the ladies into the kitchen for coffee and a late breakfast. Taking the time to explain what little but important things were going on; Gibbs noticed Ducky's knowing look. The M.E. knew there was more beneath the surface. As Abby and Ziva went into the living room to take up seats and silently watch the quietly playing movie; Ducky turned to Gibbs.

"What aren't you telling me, Jethro?"

"Tony's getting as worked up about this as Tim. He's been staring off in space; lost in his own thoughts for over an hour now. When have you ever known DiNozzo to do that? He's the one who came up with the idea of staying here for Tim's sake and mine, too. But, I don't want this sucking the life outta these boys; Duck! It's damn near doing that to Tim already!"

"Yes, Jethro; but giving them the chance to get through this with more togetherness; should help ease that." Ducky suggested.

"I hope so, Duck. I really hope so."


	22. Too Much To Handle

The rest of the afternoon and evening passed peacefully. Dr. Wilson was called and he agreed to postpone the next appointment since Tim seemed to be doing fine and was relaxing with the team. The younger agents all kept each other company and entertained in and around Tim's exhaustion. Ducky let eveyone know that this extra need for sleep on their teammate's behalf was to be expected and not anything to be concerned about at this point. The new sleeper sofa had arrived and the team had switched it out the two pieces of furniture with little fuss; waiting for Tim's break from the couch in a quest for sustanence.. At one point in the afternoon; while Tim slept; Tony ran home for his clothes and other things he would need to successfully pull off a two week stay at Gibbs'. He wanted to help build his teammate's sense of having a safety net that was bigger than Gibbs; and wanted it to have already started taking shape; and disappearing on him wasn't gonna do that.

Ziva and Abby cooked dinner for everyone and they all managed to eat well; even Tim. After dinner; the group found themselves involved in a rousing game of poker. Ducky; as everyone had expected; cleaned house. Luckily; they had only played for spare change. No one ever beat Ducky at poker.

After everyone had gone home for the evening; planning on meeting back here early in the am before their flight to New York; the guys settled in for a movie and popcorn; actually able to relax for the first time in a very long time. Gibbs retired to bed before Tim and Tony. Tony made sure Tim went to bed and actually fell asleep before he even attempted to let himself go to bed.

After what passed as a peaceful night's sleep; Tim appeared almost more exhausted and worn out out then the previous morning. Something was definately going on and once again; he wasn't talking about it. Both Tony and Gibbs fixed their eyes on him; pointedly waiting for an explanation over breakfast; one that Tim wasn't eating; his appetite having deserted him; once again. Tim was still shaken from the endless movie scenes invading his dreams; flashes of his family's fatal crash; Jethro being taken; as well as, his grisly return. He had no energy or reserve with which to argue or fight about why he hadn't woken them up in the midst of it all.

"Boss, I'm not about to wake you up in the middle of the night!" Tim defended himself.

"Understood. We're awake now; and you look like death warmed over; again. Like every stride you made yesterday to get past this; was for nothing." Gibbs declared in frustration.

"Believe me, Boss; I feel it frustrated, too." Tim said.

"As soon as we get on that plane; you're taking a nap, Probie!" Tony ordered in his best Senior Field Agent tone.

"If I can, Tony." Tim admitted quietly and with no show of hiding just how tired he felt.

"Seems to me like you need a new way to get through this." Gibbs remarked quietly; concern tempering his tone.

"Definetely, Boss." Tim agreed.

"Talk us through it. What happens when you go to bed?"

"I see everything happening over and over again like a loop; a video loop; someone's twisted idea of a joke. I'm usually okay; somehow, I manage to fall asleep; but as soon as I start to dream; this stuff takes over." Tim's aggravation and over-worked nerves were becoming brittle; his voice rising and becoming angry.

"Easy, Tim. Calm down. You need to relax." Gibbs attempted to soothe.

"I can't, Boss; I'm so tired; I can barely keep my head up; the only time I get any rest is when I do it in naps; like I did yesterday."

"Tim; direct Tony to where he can find your pictures and photo albums; and Tony; dig them all up. We've got an hour and a half. Go on; hurry up." Gibbs urged; with an obvious plan in mind.

Ten minutes later; the guys returned to the kitchen toting photo albums. Gibbs smiled with hope. "okay. here's what you're gonna do. For the next 24 hours; when you have a spare minute; you're gonna be looking at whatever photos you decide put the happiest memories in your head. Take the photos out of the book; start carrying them around in your pocket; and every single time you start to think of something that keeps you from sleeping or even finding your appetite; you pull out the photos and stare at them; inprint them into your mind." Gibbs instructed.

Two hours later; with the team once again safely ensconced on the plane; enroute to New York; Tim was blessedly asleep. This time, Ducky sat watching over him. Though it was a short flight;' the nap was still necessary.

* * *

Walking into the Funeral Service; Tim had seemingly lost all color in his face; as soon as his eyes landed on his family's caskets. He looked like he was about to fall out in the floor if it weren't for Gibbs and Tony holding onto him; as Abby huddled into his side; under his arm. Together; they got him seated in the front row of the church. Tim's eyes don't leave the caskets of his parents and his little sister; sitting in a row before the alter. When the times came for him to speak; he somehow rmanaged to rise to his feet; obviously on autopilot; his hand reverently touched each casket for a painful moment before he moved on. By the time he reached the pulpit; everyone who had come to pay their respects; had tears in their eyes for his obvious grief.

Still in automation; Tim opened his mouth to speak; words that had not been practiced or even thought of beforehand; and now just wouldn't come; as he'd hoped. This added frustration seemingly pushed him over the edge and with abject terror and heart-wrenching pain suddenly marching across his face and filling his eyes; he desperately looked for his rock; both of them. In the mere heartbeat it took both Gibbs and Tony to see and recognise the approaching crisis for what it was; they were at his side; placing reassuring hands discreetly on his shoulders; grounding him back to the present; and to the reality that he wasn't alone. Whispering encouragement to him; they got him through the darkness and through the speaking of his parents; his sister; their lives; their loss. As the words somehow came; he felt like he was on the outside looking in; suddenly disconnected; broken off from it all. Withdrawn from the overwhelming, suffocating pain of it all. His mind shut down. Even as the words continued to flow; somehow he didn't hear them as he spoke them.

_As a writer, I'm supposed to be able to find the words.  
I' can't  
pain, sorrow; guilt; despair  
those are the only words I think of now  
Mom, Dad, Sarah; words cannot express how very sorry I am  
sorry that this has happened to you  
sorry that it was because of me  
sorry i ever took this job  
it was never supposed to cost you your lives  
but it has  
how do I live with that?  
how do I give up the fight for justice for you?  
where is the middle ground?  
how do I live with this?  
Rest in peace; what peace you may find  
Know that I will never forget you  
I pray for your forgiveness  
I pray for my own.  
I love you  
Forever  
Always_

Gibbs knew it when he saw it; even as he listened to the words the grieving young man spoke. Tim's eyes going blank; his posture going almost boneless; his hands unclenching dropping like lead to his sides; all spoke of the crisis going on right in front of them. Yeah; right there in the midst of his family's funeral service; his mind had shut down on him. Somehow the team got him through the service; through the graveside service; and back onto the plane. Once on the plane; Ducky, once again took up watch; this time not encouraging Tim to sleep; allowing him to remain withdrawn. The time for sleep would come when they got him home.

As soon as the team got back to Gibbs' Tony and Gibbs took Tim to Gibbs' room; where Ducky gave him something strong to help him sleep; hopefully for a long time. Ducky hoped the young man would get at least a good 8 hours of healing sleep. Tony settled down to keep his Probie company and watch for any sign of nightmares or distress of any kind. Gibbs had set them up in his room simply because the bed was bigger and so was the chair in which Tony would be spending a lot of time in until Tim was at least caught up on some sleep; peacefully.

After a while; Abby, Ziva, Jenny; along with Tripp and Kinney; went home; leaving Tony, Gibbs and Tim in peace. Gibbs needed to see what shape Tim was in and immediately headed to upstairs to check on him. They had only been home for 2 hours and Tim would certainly sleep for at least 4 more; before they'd have to give him another dose of sleeping agent; but that wasn't what Gibbs wanted to check on. Was he sleeping; or was he in nightmare hell? Arriving at the doorway to his bedroom; Gibbs looked at Tony; making sure he was okay, as well. Today had been emotionally tough for his entire team; but having given them time here to decompress; he was assured they were okay. Tony and Tim; were the only two left to worry about. Tony was napping; with one eye open and Gibbs gave him an encouraging smile. He was doing such a damn good job and Gibbs was proud of him. "Okay?" Gibbs asked him quietly.

"Yeah, Boss; he's okay." Tony answered tiredly.

"You, Tony. Are you okay?"

"I'm fine, Boss. I'm not the one we need to worry about."

"Tony, I care about everyone on my team. That includes you."

"Thanks, Boss. I know. But, seriously; I'm fine. He seems to be really good and asleep, finally. I mean I haven't seen any signs of nightmares or anything." Tony explained.

Gibbs turned his attention to his sleeping agent. His face had regained some color; but now looked pinched in pain; his hands weren't clenched; but neither were they relaxed. They actually looked like they were on their way to becoming clenched. His body wasn't tensed; but then again; it wasn't relaxed either. Looking at the overall picture; it appeared that Tim was on the verge of getting lost in something unpleasant.

"Tony, come here." Gibbs softly said. As Tony came over to the bed; Gibbs pointed out the warning signs of someone about to be having trouble and together; they soothed Tim's growing distress with both calming words and comforting hands on his shoulders. It wasn't long before the changes became noticable. Gibbs had been right; and now Tim was actually finally sliding into peaceful slumber.

Tony felt both stupid and inept. Gibbs saw what was coming and drew him out into the hallway. "No. Don't even go there. You didn't know everything to look for and now you know more and you know what to do about it when you do see it. Go take a break. Watch a movie; take a shower; whatever. Come back in a couple of hours." Gibbs firmly told him.

The evening passed in quiet peaceful rest. Tim stayed asleep through out the night with little sign of stress; easily calmed when it did start to appear; by an ever watchful Tony; as Gibbs had known Tony would resent being made to sleep through his chance to sit watch over his probie. Gibbs used the time to catch up on his own sleep; knowing that Tony would be doing his sleeping tomorrow.

Wednesday morning dawned bright and thankfully quiet. Gibbs had gone through the house the night before and confiscated alarm clock settings and cell phones in case they had alarms set on them. Seeing that it was nearing 6 am; he got up and called Jenny to notify her that he and the guys wouldn't be in today. She didn't protest or even begin to put up a fight. She knew how badly Tim needed both rest and supportive company at the moment.

Speaking of the guys; Gibbs silently entered his room ready to check on both of them. Surpisingly enough; they were both crashed on his bed; both peacefully slumbering away; neither looking anywhere close to waking up. Gibbs smiled in relief and headed to the kitchen for coffee. Ducky popped in for a check on Tim and went on his way to work; completely satisfied that the young man was still asleep.

As the day wore on; neither of his agents stirred; although Gibbs checked on them several times to make sure they were okay. Having the day to play babysitter to a couple of sleeping agents would have normally sent Gibbs' temper through the roof. Today; howver; after everything this team had been through; more specifically; Tim; in the last month; he found himself just feeling grateful that they were sleeping.

Ducky reappeared at lunch time; with Ziva and Abby along for good measure. Together; they got the guys up and eating lunch; especially since Ducky had brought sub sandwiches with him; figuring the guys would be starving. Giving Tim a check over; making sure his vitals were okay and he wasn't too sluggish; lunch went over well; and with the exception of Tim being extremely quiet and withdrawn; they all enjoyed it.

After the troops left to return to work; Tim went back to bed; this time choosing to go to his own room. As he retreated up the stairs; he turned to face Gibbs; who stood in the kitchen doorway; watching him go; still concerned about him. "Boss; do you think we can... Any chance we... never mind." he turned back to the stairs and continued on his journey and this time; Gibbs let him go; didn't push him to finish his thought. With a silent message sent to Tony; Gibbs followed in Tim's wake after a few minutes.

Standing in the doorway to his agent's room; Gibbs leaned against the door frame and asked: "What is it?"

"I don't want to mess up anyone's schedule."

"But?"

"I would rather get this conversation with the lawyer overwith."

"So, you want to know if he'll meet with us tomorrow instead of Friday." Gibbs stated.

"Us?"

"You don't really think we'll let you have to deal with any of this alone, do you? I thought you knew better than that by now."

"Do you think he'll do it? Let me get it over with?"

"We'll certainly give out best shot, Tim." Gibbs promised as he watched Tony come and comandeer the young man away; steering him back downstairs to the living room so they could watch movies together and Tim could still sleep if he needed to. Without any sort of reaction; Tim went along with Tony's manovering and silently settled down on the sofa bed; and almost immediately let sleep reclaim him. Tony settled the blanket over him and settled down to keep the sleeping man company.

Gibbs immediately called Jenny.

"Jethro, how is he?"

"Still exhausted. Anxious to get all of the stuff over with involving this tragedy. He asked if we couldn't get the lawyer to meet with us tomorrow; let him get it over with."

"I'll get on it. I'm sure he'll cooperate. I'll call you back when I have an answer."

"Thanks, Jen."

Tim slept the afternoon away; waking at Tony's urging for dinner. At that time; once again, Ducky checked him over and Ziva and Abby joined them for dinner. Fearing for Tim's nutritional balance; Ducky had brought a supply of protein bars; urging the young man to eat one if and when he found himself not hungry enough for an entire meal. Nutritional shakes and vitamins were also delivered; and encouraged.

Tim; although giving dinner a geniune effort; found himself having one of the shakes Ducky brought instead; and returning to the living room; and sleep once more; with only a smile of thanks for his teammates.

Thursday morning dawned much like the day before; the only exception being that Tim McGee seemed to be back in the land of the living. He awoke to the silence of the house almost creeping him out; until he looked over and saw Tony also sleeping; and knew that Gibbs wasn't far away. Getting up; Tim made his way to the kitchen and started the coffee. His mind still stalled at focusing; but he no longer felt disconnected from his own body. Now, he felt numb.

No longer exhausted; he went and almost mindlessly showered and got ready for work. Coming back to the kitchen; he found both Tony and Gibbs making breakfast and sat down to enjoy another cup of cofee while they worked. Breakfast was calm; soothingly quiet; with inconsequential talk of weather and movies and such. Gibbs' phone rang as they were heading out the door.

"Yeah, Gibbs."

"Jethro, Mr. Edwards will be here at 10 this morning." Jenny informed him.

"Thanks, Jen."

"You're welcome, Jethro. How is he?"

Gibbs handed the phone to Tim.

"Director?" Having of course; heard Gibbs' end of the conversation; Tim knew who he was talking to.

"Tim, how are you?"

"Fine, Ma'am."

"You know I expect the same honesty that you give Gibbs, right?"

Tim couldn't answer that. _Did she really just ask him that?_ Yeah, she'd gone out of her way to be helpful lately; during this crisis; but they didn't know each other; she didn't know him; like Gibbs knew him. His look of frustration bothered Gibbs. He held out his hand for the phone and Tim gladly handed it back to him; angry and frustrated that she would put him on the spot like that. Yeah, it had been just a simple little question; but she had qualified it; and she hadn't earned that from him yet.

Gibbs waited until Tim had gotten in the car before speaking to Jen; immediately asking her to repeat what she'd just said to his agent. When she repeated the question she'd asked him; he blew out a frustrated breath. He knew she hadn't meant anything by it; she'd merely wanted Tim to allow himself to be straightforward; not have to hide; "Jen; just because he wears his heart on his sleeve; doesn't mean he hands his trust out readily like he used to. In case you hadn't noticed; he's a lot more closed off than he used to be. This nightmare has changed him; taken pieces of him; including that one"

"I understand, Jethro; but he's not closed off with everyone."

"No, Jen' you're right. He talks to me; but I've had his back for the last 5 years. I brought him on to this team; chose him; He's never forgotten that; almost never lost faith in me. And more importantly; I've gotten to know him and how he thinks and he knows it; counts on it. Besides, there are plenty of times I still have to call him on it; before he'll open up." Gibbs revealed to her.

"I didn't realize."

"Yeah, Jen. He's too set in his ways of putting other people first. It's damn near impossible to get him to put himself first; unless he's too wrung out or exhausted to fight it. Relax, you just made him a little uncomfortable; he'll get over it. We're heading in now." Gibbs closed off the conversation and got in the car; noticing Tim sitting in the back seat; once again looking like he was on a distant planet. Gibbs left him to his thoughts. Looking over at his Senior Field Agent; he didn't miss the concern in those eyes; currently fixed on his teammate through the mirror fixated on Tim. Gibbs cleared his throat to get Tony's attention. Very softly he told Tony to relax.

Once safely at work; Tim seemed to come back from the world of being numb; a little. Apparently; he still felt to vulnerable and raw to talk or let too much of the world in. Having been told by Gibbs that the lawyer was in fact coming this morning; seemed to bring back the withdrawn look about him, They could only hope that once this situation with the lawyer was over; Tim could begin to heal.

Ten o'clock came and Tim had already practically jumped out of seat in restlessness. Slowly letting himself fall apart without making the effort to reign it back in; Tim obviously needed some help. Tony and Gibbs; as a united front; escorted Tim to the elevator; and as Tony stopped the ride; Gibbs turned to his younger field agent and put a hand on his shoulder. Waiting for him to register the attention; look him in the eye; Gibbs was getting concerned at how long it took. Just when he was about to snap off on him; for the first time in a long time; Tim seemed to snap himself out of it.

"Sorry, Boss."

"Don't apologise. Just pull yourself together. You asked for this meeting; and while we're more than prepared to back you up; you have to be there for yourself, first. We can't help you if you're not prepared to help yourself. Now; put whatever it is that's driving you cazy; shutting you off from the world; away; and focus on this meeting. Pull it together." Gibbs instructed sternly.

"Thanks, Boss." Tim said with remorse plentiful in his tone. He knew he'd let himself get too far gone; when Gibbs felt the need to get stern with him. Forcing himself to put things back under wraps; under tight control; Tim remarkably physically straightened up; stood taller; put his emotions away; which disturbed Gibbs. That hadn't been what he'd meant. To see Tim's eyes lose all emotion; go dark and distant; was disheartening; but they would have to deal with that later. Right now, they had to get him through this meeting.

Mr. Edwards got straight to the point. Once he'd settled down at the thought of having so many people present at what he'd percieved to be a private meeting. Jenny, Gibbs, Tony and Tim sat as a united front; and it was clear from the beginning that Tim was barely there. As much as he tried to pull himself together; he only had to look at the man to see his parents' faces flash before his eyes; and it was very painful. So painful, he couldn't hide it from his eyes and it wasn't but five minutes into the meeting before Tony called a halt to it and dragged Tim from the room.

"What's going on, Probie? Talk to me!" Tony's voice full of concern seemed to bring Tim back out of the pain that was damn near suffocating him.

"He's my parents' lawyer , Tony."

"Right. I got that part, Probie. What am I missing?"

"He's been their lawyer ever since I was a kid" Tim tried to make him understand.

Feeling frustrated and over his head; Tony called Gibbs. Instead of answering the call; Gibbs stepped out of the Director's office and over to his agents. "What's the problem?" Gibbs hadn't missed Tim's battle back in the office. "Tim; it's too hard for you to talk to him; is that what this is about? I realize that seeing him brings your parents to mind; and I know that it's painful. But, I have faith that you can handle this. You're tougher than you give yourself credit for. You've had to go through so much lately; you've allowed yourself to lose some of your inner strength lately. I want you to force yourself to work on regaining it. Starting right now; you got me? Yes, this is hard; really hard; but you can do it." Gibbs reinforced sternly.

Tony was left speechless and flabbergasted. He'd tried to be helpful. He'd known to pull Probie away so he could pull himself together. But; he'd been clueless as to what the problem was even after asking. It took Gibbs all of two seconds; without asking the question; to figure out what Probie's problem was; and to call him on it; set him on a course to fix the problem; not cave into it! Damn; he still had a lot to learn from the master!

Tim was once again reminded of the Bossman in Boss mode; and was not very happy to see it at the moment. But, Gibbs was right; he had gotten soft. He could do this. Damn it; he would do it!

"Thanks, Boss; Tony." Saying nothing more; Tim turned and went back into the Director's office leaving Tony and Gibbs behind in his dust.

"What the hell just happened?" Tony asked

Gibbs called Ducky and asked him to get Tim's next appointment with Dr Wilson set up for today if at all possible. Then he turned to Tony and answered him

"I just reminded him to stop layin down and playin dead everytime he fell on his ass; and get back to pickin himself up by his own bootstraps; DiNozzo."

"But, how did you know what his problem was?"

Experience at putting puzzle pieces together, Tony." was Gibbs' cryptic answer as they both returned to the meeting.

"Mr Edwards; I would like to request that you keep everything short and to the point and only go over what I have to know. Please." Tim stated; when everyone was back in their seats.

Gibbs grinned; _Yeah; Tim could rise to the occassion; when he allowed himself to fight back._

Tim was shocked to see his boss grin at his forwardness toward the attorney.

"Certainly, Agent McGee; I understand this is a difficult time for you."

_You don't know the half of it!_ thought Gibbs; Tim, Tony and Jenny alike. If the attorney noticed four flashes of anger shooting back at him at his mundane words; he didn't mention it.

"The bottom line is very simple. Everything your parents and your sister owned is bequethed to you; lock; stock and barrel. " Mr. Edwards summed it up.

"That includes; your parents' house; their vacation home; their vehicles and so on.":

"Tim?" Jenny obviously had a question she wanted to ask; but wanted Tim's permission to ask on his behalf. He half-heartedly waved her on. They could all ask their questions for all he cared. Better them than him; he was too over his head.

"Mr. Edwards, do you have the financial summary for the estate? Have their wills been combined into one estate?"

"Yes, to both questions, Ma'am." Mr. Edwards pulled out the form she'd been asking for.

Tim could stand it no longer. Looking Gibbs square in the eye; he admitted, "I'm sorry I'm not capable of living up to your measure of faith in me; but I. can't. deal. with. this." He fled from the meeting; the wind on his back.


	23. What Lies Beneath

When Tim fled the meeting; he ran for the gym; wanting to purge himself of the weakness overtaking his soul. He wanted his fighting spirit back. Knowing he had just robbed himself of Gibbs' hard earned respect made him attack the bag all that much harder. This nightmare was robbing him of so much more than his family.

Gibbs; watched Tim bolt from the meeting after his painful admission. Feeling angry at himself for what he knew; without a doubt; Tim would now accept as his personal failure to live up to Gibbs' expectations; Gibbs could only mentally head slap himself; cursing himself for pushing Tim too hard to handle things his way. He did what he could to help Tim from this angle.

"Mr. Edwards; as you can see; as we all just witnessed; Tim is incapable of dealing with anything involving the death of his family; right now. Any and all important things you need to discuss with him; please direct and discuss with his Supervisor's Supervisor. I believe she has the appropriate documents giving her that authority on Tim's behalf." Gibbs stated.

"So, why didn't we just do that to begin with", Mr. Edwards asked; feeling a little put out at the wasted time.

"Because, Mr. Edwards; Agent McGee has just lost his family and if he could force himself to deal with whatever you needed him to deal with; then he had the right to try." Gibbs explained in frustration. "I'm sure Director Shepard will be able to help you. " Gibbs got up and left with Tony on his tail. Surprisingly enough; Gibbs returned to his desk and dove back into the work waiting there. Not only did he not get upset that Tim wasn't at his desk; but he made no effort to find him.

_Okay, so he's blaming himself for Tim's disappearance_. Tony realized. _Why? He probably figures he pushed him too hard about toughening himself back up. That's it! Probie's in the gym! Gibbs must know that! I'm not gonna let him go through this alone! He'll be beatin himself up senseless over this._ Leaving a note silently on his desk; unwilling to disturb Gibbs at the moment; Tony made his escape; and headed to the gym. Sure enough; there was Probie; beating up on the defenseless punching bag like it was the top criminal on the most wanted list of the whole alphabet soup of agencies.

It hadn't been that long since he'd left the meeting; so Tony knew that Tim wasn't done beating everything out of his system. Sitting back and watching him get it out; gave Tony another perspective into who Tim was. Tim was one of the most well mannered people he'd ever met; also one of the most easily guilt ridden ones he'd ever met. He was too kind-hearted; and he took way too much on the chin; which is why picking on him and harrassing him was always so damn much fun. But watching him go through this crisis; only one of many in this nightmare; this personal hell that Tony wouldn't wish on anyone; well; almost anyone; Tony suddenly no longer found even a glimmer of fun in the idea of picking on him or harrassing him anymore.

Fifteen exhausting minutes later, Tim was beat; and defeated. Beating up on the bag hadn't eased his feelings of letting Gibbs down; and right now; that hurt more than anything; because this was a here and now; especially, since he was staying in the man's house; leanin on the man to get him through this crap. Well, maybe it was time to stop doin so damn much leanin; and maybe that's what the man had been tryin to say earlier. _Okay. Tim got it, now. It was time to get the backbone back in place; get back into the fight; and get back into training for the showdown. Yeah! He could do this!_ Suddenly, it was like Tim had found his second wind; and the beating of the bag resumed with gumption and drive.

Tony sat back and marveled. He'd watched Tim silently work things through in his brain. You could see the emotions flash through his eyes; even if you couldn't read what they were. In the end; the determination had been an easy read; especially when he'd started back in the bag; and with the renewed energy and drive; there'd been no doubt; the boy had reached an understanding with his inner self; to fight. Tony almost stood up and cheered. Instead; he retreated out of sight and called the person who needed; who deserved to know about the breakthrough.

"Yeah. Gibbs."

"Boss, he's decided to get back into the fight. He's okay now."

"What did he say, Tony?"

"I haven't talked to him, Boss. Just been watchin him punch the bag senseless. When he gave up a minute ago; he was defeated; it was written all over his face. Then he thought things through for a couple of minutes. Boss; it was like I was watchin a movie without sound and for the first time in my life; I understood what was going on! We all now how expressive he is without even realizing it; right? You could see the look of defeat change to determination; and the way he's back attacking the bag; oh, yeah! He's back in the fight."

"Tony. Thank you."

"No problem, Boss. I'm gonna shadow him for a while; let him know he's not alone." Tony advised.

"okay, Tony. Well done!" Gibbs rewarded; knowing it was long overdue;and his relief at Tim's change of mental status so overpowering; it was almost making him feel giddy.

It was 45 minutes before the guys returned to the squad room; but when they did; they were both more themselves than they had been in a very long time. In fact; the only sign of there having been a problem was in the way Tim couldn't look Gibbs in the eye now. Knowing exactly where it was coming from; Gibbs let it go; for now. He'd deal with it later. Right now he would let Tim savor his achievement of getting his head back on straight on his own.

The rest of the afternoon went smoothly without issue. Dr. Wilson arrived and carted Tim off for their session. Tim; to his credit; didn't let the sudden appearance of the Dr. ruffle him; at least not outwardly; anyway. When Gibbs called it a day at 6; no one complained and everyone packed it in without a word. The ride to Gibbs' house that night was a quiet one. Both Tony and Gibbs refused to interfere with whatever was running through Tim's head at the moment; especially since he seemed to be at peace with himself at the moment.

After a quiet dinner; Tim disappeared to his room. For the first time since this whole mess started; more than 3 weeks ago; the door was closed. Unsure if this was a good sign or not; Gibbs knocked on it. When he didn't get an answer; he opened it and immediately swore. Tim was huddled in the corner of the room; like a cornered animal. It was clear; he'd been in the middle of trying to change this problem into a problem solved; but he hadn't gotten there yet. In fact; he'd probably just pushed himself into a set back. Gibbs was more upset about his frame of mind then whether or not the door was closed.

Approaching him slowly; Gibbs stopped three feet from him and called him out of wherever it was he'd gone to. Looking dazed and frightened out of his wits; Tim looked everywhere but at Gibbs; and started shaking. Gibbs called to him again; and this time; Tim looked at him; his eyes full of both confusion and fear.

"It's okay, now, Tim." Gibbs soothed.

Tim silently shook his head; and fled the room; once again; the wind on his back.

Knowing he wouldn't leave the house; Gibbs let him go. Making his way back to the kitchen for coffee; listening to the strains of Tony's movie playing in the living room; he suddenly heard the sound of the punching bag in the basement; once again getting a work out. Realizing that Tony had been privy to what had transpired with Tim earlier and that the guy was here to help; he sought him out and sat down to explain what had just happened with Tim.

Tony couldn't get to his Probie fast enough. With Gibbs' suggestion ringing in his ear that he get Tim to accept that things like closed doors should be handled with Dr. Wilson's help; Tony was anxious to talk to Tim; see for himself that he was okay. His earlier conversation with Probie still loud and clear in his head:

_"Probie"  
"Tony"  
"You okay, man?"_

**_"No, Tony, I'm not. How can I be when I just threw away every ounce of respect Gibbs has ever had for me. Just threw it all back in his face; and after everything he's done for me?"_**

_"Probie! You listen to me! Once you've earned El Jefe's respect; it's not that easy to lose it. If you think for a minute; that you've lost it; because you can't handle all this crap being thrown at you inside of a month? Man; you've sold the man short; big time! And that's not fair."_

_"Tony, you don't understand."_

**_"No, McGee! YOU_**_ don't understand. Right now; all you're doing is pushing his limits on knowing what to do to help you! He's frustrated for you; not at you. He's pissed at himself for pushing you too hard; not at you for admitting you couldn't deal with it! Get it through your thick head, man; he's on your side! Now, you get your ass back up there and fix this between you two. Take this weight off his shoulders. Get back in the fight for real, this time, man! We damn sure can't fight this for you or without you!"_

_"Tony. Thank you." _

_"No problem, Probie; just stop selling the man short."_

_"I promise, Tony. I'll do my best."_

* * *

Tim reappeared upstairs in the kitchen; to find it empty. Feeling almost bereft; he searched the rest of the house; only to find Gibbs in his room; sitting in his chair; staring off into space; with a look of despair mixed with heartbreak in his eyes. Tim felt his heart break for the man who had come to mean so much to him. Even before he'd felt close to him; he'd always cared about him and what he'd been through had stayed on his heart; had him looking out for his boss more.

Now, it had him damn near in tears. Quietly sitting down on the edge of Gibbs' bed; he tried to gather his thoughts. Before he could speak; Gibbs blinked and turned to look at him; silently; the question in his expression; as usual.

"I'm sorry. I can't seem to handle any part of this right; and I seem to be treating you the worst when it's the last thing I wanna be doin." Tim quietly admitted; his heart on his sleeve.

Gibbs looked at him for a long silent minute longer before he answered him. "There is no right or wrong way to handle tragedy in your life; Tim. No one can dictate how to deal with it. And everyone deals with it differently; not wrong; just different." his boss quietly reminded him.

"But, I can tell you this; while you shouldn't hide from it; you shouldn't let it keep you down; either. It's a hell of a lot easier to hide it away; than it is to fight through it. You wanna beat these bastards? You wanna prepare yourself for what might be coming? Put this thought in your head. If your family wasn't the main target; but this is what happened to them? What should you be expecting; preparing for?" I'm not saying this to hurt you or because I'm a mean bastard. I'm saying this because I want you to come out of this on top. Get back in the fight. Channel your anger; unleash it; use it to your advantage."

Tim took a long minute to soak up what Gibbs was saying. "I know you're right. What I don't know is where this inner strength is that you seem to believe I have to do this with. But, for as long as I've known you; you've very rarely been wrong; and if you say it's there; I believe you. I just wish I knew how to find it." Tim thoughtfully tried to explain.

"Tim, listen to me. It's in your attitude; your determination; your drive; how you want this to end; who you want to see come out on top! Who do you want callin the plays on this? That's where your inner strength comes from."

"Thank you. Really, For everything. For helping me make sense of where I need to go; and just... everything."

"You're welcome; now; go on; go hit the hay; get a good night's sleep. Tomorrow will be here soon enough." Gibbs told him with a smile.

* * *

The next morning dawned chilly and overcast; but that didn't seem to bother Tim; who seemed to have woken up with a new lease on life. He'd spent a long time thinking over what Gibbs had said to him; not just last night; but over the course of the last several weeks, too. The man had taken a lot of time and effort to try to keep Tim's head in the fight; and it was high time Tim started to act on that faith; and Tony's too. It was obvious that Tony had faith in him, too; or why else would he be here? Sure; he was here to take some of the stress and responsibility of watching over Tim; off of Gibbs; but that wasn't the only reason he was being such a rock for Tim.

Making sure he got up early enough to be the one to cook breakfast and get coffee started; Tim was already in the shower by the time the other two got up. Breakfast was a much more chipper atmosphere than it had been lately; and the ride in to work was too; that is; until Tim decided to once again; approach Gibbs about downgrading him to a desk agent. Once again, Gibbs adamantly refused; for Tim's own good. Tim smiled his thanks and went back to work. And so the rest of the day went; no serious problems; but; thankfully; no call out either. Cold cases were the call of the day; and for once; no one was complaining.

The next two days; on into the weekend and even the next week that followed were uneventful; outside of case related happenings. It was the following week; October 1st; against Gibbs' wishes; that Tim effectively became a desk agent; after he'd insisted and pushed and argued that it was the only right thing to do. Gibbs had flatly and adamantly refused to downgrade Tim's status; unwilling to affect Tim's career record in such a negative way. Tim had done nothing to deserve it. It seemed; though; that even the SecNav agreed with Tim; and had ordered Jenny to make it happen. "Re-assign Agent McGee or transfer him to a different Unit or city altogether." Had been the order handed down. MRCT needed to be fully field operational; a T.A.D. would be forthcoming and assigned to the team until further notice.

Gibbs was absolutely livid. How dare they replace Tim right out from underneath the poor kid! After much head-butting and shouting matches between Gibbs and the Director; a compromise was reached. Gibbs could keep Agent McGee as the team's computer expert; but he would have to let him help other teams as necessary.

Special Agent Simon Stewart had appeared less than 2 hours later. When he'd arrived; Gibbs had shaken his hand and directed him to the desk behind Tim's; on the outskirts of the squad room. Upon Jenny's arrival at Gibbs' desk a mere 30 minutes later; to welcome the new kid on the block; she had found fault with the seating arrangements. They'd argued about it; without saying a word. The team had watched in amusement; although; Tim had kept his head down in embarrassment. Abby; who had been up there delivering a report; watched in delight. She never got to see stuff like this in her lab.

She both frowned at the situation; and understood it. Silently, she frowned in the direction of Tim's desk and then at Agent Stewart's desk. Gibbs glared at her in return; daring her to force Tim to give up the desk that had been his home away from home for four years now. They all knew he'd been through enough loss recently; that this would just be petty and hurtful; and was in no way justified. Jenny had smiled an apologetic smile at both Tim and Gibbs; and gone back to her office.

Peace reigned in the squad room thereafter. Only Special Agents Tripp and Kinney remained of the Protection Detail. They were assigned to other duties within the building until such time as Tim needed to leave. For three weeks this was the norm.

Tim was kept busy. When he wasn't working on a case; he was working out in the gym; or on the indoor range; or talking to the shrink. He kept his mind working; refusing to let it think about anything not case related or part of his Plan of Action. Having made great strides with his Plan; his computer was backed up; files secured; encryptions worked out and keys to them delivered safely. His writing that he'd been working on every night; was almost done. This last project he'd been working on was hard; really hard. But; here it was; three weeks; since he'd started it and he was almost done. Every night; when'd finished another chapter; he felt better.

He was almost ready for whatever might come his way.


	24. Regaining Solid Ground

As tough as this all had been on everyone; it had also served to cement their relationships with each other Teasing had been knocked down a couple of notches; ridicule had fizzled out; never to have returned; and genuine concern and objective discussions seemed to now be the order of the day; every day. Most days; the team would do lunch together; with the person doing the fetching changed daily; rotating; all in good spirits. Jimmy and Ducky also began being included and this often extended to dinner at Gibbs' house. Agent Stewart; although always invited to the team meals; never participated; choosing to remain aloof; outside; distant. The boss was more than happy to see his team pull together; getting back on an even keel. He wasnt surprise that the T.A.D. kept his distance.

If only Tim could figure out how to handle this one nagging concern he had. After a week of watching Tony keep his own distance from Agent Stewart; Tim had felt obliged to keep his mouth shut his concerns; not wanting to upset or offend Tony. However, he couldn't help but be concerned. What if he were to become the new 'Probie'? Tony would need to be ready to handle that. Even though he and Tony had been getting closer; he still didn't feel it was his place to say anything to him. It would come across as passing judgement and Tim wasn't prepared to do that. With Tim's relationships with his teammates now stronger; he had no desire to tear any of that apart. After a weekend of watching Tim quietly attempt to handle something alone; with little success; Gibbs brought it up at breakfast Monday morning; while Tony was still in the shower.

"Wanna tell me about it?" Gibbs asked.

"Boss?" Tim had been confused. He had no idea what Gibbs was referring to. Here it was three weeks since he'd been made desk agent; and nothing had gone wrong or even weird.

Gibbs raised his eyebrows.

"Boss, I don't know what you're talking about." Tim had insisted.

"I'm talking about whatever's been on your mind; keeping you from concentrating; from sleeping; even your appetite is slipping." Gibbs told him point blank.

"I hadn't realized.." Tim said quietly.

"What, that I noticed or that you let it get to you to this point?" Gibbs asked in frustration.

"Both, Boss; I'm sorry."

"Don't apologise, just tell me what it is that has you tied up like this."

"The team. Without me; not that… what I mean is… "

"Tim, just spit it out."

"Tony's always joked about never wanting to have to break in another Probie. What if he wasn't joking, Boss? What if he doesn't accept Stewart? Where will the team be then?" Tim quietly voiced what he'd privately been worried almost sick about. Team cohecian was vital to their safety.

"I thought you and I had an understanding; an agreement. You know; for you not to hide what was bothering you; not to keep secrets like this from me?" Gibbs asked with more than a trace of anger.

"I'm sorry that I didn't' tell you, Boss." The agent's apology held no excuses. He knew that none was sufficient. Gibbs expected Tim's honesty and Tim hadn't given it to him. Once again, Tim had let him down. The reasons probably didn't matter.

Gibbs was angry; angry at Tim for knotting himself up over this; angry that Tim's conviction that he was gonna get snatched; hadn't waned in the least; even though no one had discussed it in three weeks; and angry for not knowing or seeing this sooner. Knowing that Tim would quickly take his silence for blame; Gibbs had to say something that would head that guilt off at the pass.

"Don't let it happen again." He ordered; softening his anger and his tone to match. What was done; was done; and they needed to concentrate on staying in the present; all of them did; if they had any hope of keeping Tim from stepping back into his grief; or letting go of his fight to win over whoever was behind all of this. Even if nothing had happened in the last three weeks; no one was prepared to say it was over yet.

"Yes, Sir." Tim answered; almost automatically; like he would have answered his dad; the years of ingrained politeness showing clear as day. Ten seconds after he'd spoken the words; his brain caught up with them; and once again; so did the pain; and guilt; and sorrow and more guilt; things he'd been trying so hard all week long to bury. Now there was regret and shame mixed in there, too. Tim felt the regret in waves for not remembering how much Gibbs hated being called "Sir." Damn it! How many times am I gonna hurt him cause I can't think before I open my mouth!

"I'm sorry." Tim whispered. It was patently obvious how much Tim had just upset himself with this; somehow.

Gibbs wasn't upset at Tim's words; He was upset to see Tim let it bother him this much. But; then again; this was Tim; so there was something else going on underneath it. Whatever it was; or it was on Gibbs' behalf; it needed to be stopped

"What's really going on here? What is it you're really upset about?" Gibbs pushed.

"I thought you hated to be called, 'Sir'". Tim admitted.

"Yeah, I figured; but that's not all of it." Gibbs told him point blankly.

Silence; accompanied with trembling shoulders and eyes filled with sorrow. The automated quality to the 'Sir' rung a bell for Gibbs; especially when he added it into the mix with Tim's body language at the moment.

"That's how you answered your dad when he called you." Gibbs realized quietly.

"Yeah." Came the broken, whispered reply. It didn't take a genius to see that this conversation had just reopened the pain for Tim. Pain that he'd worked hard to control and deal with without letting it overwhelm him like it was doing now.

Gibbs patted the young man on the shoulder; keeping his hand there in silent support. As Tim reached up to grasp that hand of comfort; now gently squeezing with an added show of support; grief, once again battered his soul. With his shoulders now shaking; Tim hunched down in on himself in abject misery.

Silently, Gibbs placed his other hand on Tim's other shoulder; letting him feel the support; but also cry it out; and together they rode out the storm._

* * *

_

The ride to work was a tense one; since Gibbs had talked to Tony about Tim's concerns; while Tim had been in the shower. No; everyone was lost in their own thoughts. Once at work; the team was called out on a case; Ducky and Abby were out at a conference; and Jimmy was with the team out in the field. Tim; left truly alone; breathed in a sigh of relief; until the fire alarm went off a while later; as Tony was calling in some information that that needed to be chased down and verified.

As he hung up from the call; Tony had a worried look on his face that neither Ziva nor Gibbs liked the look of. Both of them had heard the noise over the phone; and both were trying to figure out what it had been.

"Boss, the fire alarm's going off." Tony said; his voice strange.

"Tony, call him back!" Ziva exclaimed; not wanting to waste time. Gibbs was already calling Jenny.

Tony got Tim's voicemail and Gibbs was waiting for Jen to call him back. He didn't have long to wait; in less than a minute; his phone rang. Silently; he listened; his face changing into something akin to fear; flashing in his eyes. Tony didn't wait to hear anything else; he made a u-turn; and floored the car; racing them back to HQ.

Ziva was attempting to get Tripp or Kinney or even Tim; all to no avail. None of them were answering their cell phones. As they raced back to the Navy Yard; Gibbs somberly filled them in; Jenny had gone to check on Tim in person; to find his desk shut down for the day; and no sign that he'd ever been there. The MP's and Base security had been notified and were on the lookout; and nothing else could be done until they got back there.

Twenty; long; agonizing minutes later; they reached the Navy Yard. It took another ten minutes to get through the traffic and pedestrians from the fire alarms going off in apparently 3 adjacent buildings simultaneously.

By the time they got to the Parking garage for their building; 45 minutes had passed since Jenny had called to report Tim was not at his desk. They feared the worst; each of them finding it hard to breathe as the worst possibility crossed their minds and stayed there.

Their worst possibility was what they found.  
Special Agent Tripp and Special Agent Kinney; dead where they stood; three feet away from their car; no obvious causes of death.

And Special Agent Timothy McGee was gone!


	25. Lost Equilibrium

_Jim: I got him! Right here. I'm on my way with him; you'd better be ready.  
Slim: Thank you! I knew you'd come through! I'm ready for him! Bring him on; Did you use the Roofie?  
Jim: Yeah, how the hell else do you think I got my hands on him? You don't really think he just willingly came with me, do ya?  
Slim; Wow; it's finally here! My time for fun and revenge is finally at hand! I'm so excited.  
Jim: We'll be there in 20.  
Slim: I'll be waiting__!_

* * *

The world had just gone black for Leroy Jethro Gibbs. Just 46 days from the day his Field Agent, Timothy McGee felt targeted and in trouble; the young man's deepest fear had become Gibbs' worst reality. Everyone's worst reality.

The intense anger and fear washing through him; was almost blinding. Reeling from this sucker-punch; Gibbs could barely think. Shaking his head slightly in an attempt to clear his vision and his thinking; he noticed from behind the fog that seemed to have settled over him; that Palmer was already taking care of the two deceased agents. Ziva and Tony were already busy, too; not wasting any time. Tony was dusting for prints; shooting the photos and sketching the scene while Ziva was questioning people and demanding the security tapes.

_Damn it! Ducky and Abby - out of town at some stupid conference!_ _What was it he was supposed to be doing? God, he couldn't think. Jenny! Right; gotta call Jenny. Thank God Tim's parents aren't here to have this pain put on them. OH GOD! TIM!_ It took all of Gibbs conscious control to keep from screaming out his fear and anger for his youngest surrogate son's ordeal. _God; the poor kid must be scared out of his mind! _

"Jethro."

W_ait; he hadn't called her yet; how_..." suddenly Jenny's comforting hand was on his arm; her voice in his ear; it helped clear the fog.

**"Agent, Gibbs! Director! They're not dead! **They've been drugged to slow their heartbeat; and most likely with a paralytic agent on top of it; but they're alive." Jimmy's hope filled voice reached him; spoke to him of the hope the young man had that his team would find Tim. Silently, he watched Jimmy rise to the occasion; digging out his cell phone and calling for the ambulance; all the while Gibbs remained frozen in the gale-force winds of emotions that swarmed him.

Tony; took a second to look to Gibbs for direction; but it seemed to be Gibbs who was the one who needed the direction; Tony's sense of leadership and drive to get to the bottom of this set him motion without a second thought as he dropped what he was doing and ran to help Jimmy as best he could; while they waited for the ambulance. Seeing his boss like this; so shocked and unGibbs like; shook Tony to the core. In all the years he'd worked with the man; the only other time he'd seen him like this was when they'd lost Kate. Even losing Paula and Pacci had shaken Gibbs up; but those times he'd somehow managed to stay pulled together; to channel his emotions into getting the bastards who had been responsible. But, now? Now; Gibbs had the look of someone who had just lost a child; again!

Tony felt tears begin to prick at the back of his throat as he thought of the relationships Tim had been securely bonding in the last two months. Since he'd been staying with him at Gibbs' house; the three of them had gotten much stronger into the father/son/brother relationship and:

_yeah; damn it; it's easy to see and understand why Gibbs looks so shattered right about now. Little brother had been through hell several times over in these last few weeks and the whole team had felt for his pain and suffering. None of them wanted anything more to happen to him and all of them would be devastated that more had. So, it's up to big brother/older surrogate son; to step up to the plate and get something done to get little brother back home safe and sound._

Gibbs' felt like a body of lead; he couldn't find the strength to move a muscle; he could barely get his brain to function. _Tim! How did this happen; after all this time; when they'd all been so careful? Just when Tim had been starting to rebuild his shattered life; despite what these bastards had taken from him; had cost his soul. No! This wasn't right! This wasn't supposed to happen! Damn it to hell!_

"Abby, Ducky." Gibbs worried out loud; giving Tony cause to look at him in concern; once again. It was a good think Jenny was here. She'd be able to keep him grounded since Ducky wasn't here to do it like he usually managed to do.

"They're coming back, Jethro; they've been pulled from their conference." Jenny calmly reassured him. "I'll send Ducky straight to Bethesda to look after Agents Tripp and Kinney as soon as he checks in here. Abby will need to get started right away on whatever evidence you get for her from here." Jenny kept at him; trying to pull him back to the here and now; despite the obvious shock he was in. Jenny couuld never remember seeing him in this state; not even when she first got here as Director; during the aftermath of Agent Kate Todd's death.

Gibbs nodded; still trying to get his brain to engage; but even his body seemed frozen. Taking pity on him; Jenny and Tony after exchanging extremely concerned glances; helped him take the first step toward doing something; checking over the crime scene; the place where Tim McGee had last been seen; as the ambulance arrived with its screaming warning and flashing lights that served to snap Gibbs back into himself.

"Jimmy; as soon as Ducky gets briefed at the hospital I need you to come back here and help us." Gibbs finally spoke more quietly than any of them had ever heard from him before; his brain finally kicked into gear; "We're gonna need all the help we can get scouring these video tapes; with the fire drills involved three buildings; it's gonna be damn difficult to pinpoint exactly what happened; but then again; it's what these bastards were countin on."

"Of course, Agent Gibbs; I'll do anything you need me to." Jimmy was a mess of emotions; thrilled beyond measure that the two agents assigned to be Tim's bodyguards hadn't been killed; pissed and scared that Tim had been taken; like he'd feared he would be; and anxious to get involved in helping; but knowing he had to take care of the two injured men first. Right now; he seriously missed Ducky's comforting voice of reason who always seemed to be able to reach out to Agent Gibbs when no one else could. He always knew just what Jimmy needed, too; especially in stressful upsetting situations like this.

* * *

Abby and Ducky drove back to the Navy yard a bundle of nerves; their hearts in their throats, Even Ducky's ordinarily calm demeanor was pushed to its limits; with what little he'd been given for information. His worst fears were making it profoundly difficult to concentrate on driving as well as continue to try to keep Abigail calm.

Tears had blurred Abby's vision; her own imagination creating a horrible scenerio in her mind. Tim's worst nightmare had come true; or worse! **"Oh, My God, DUCKY! It's TIM; I just know it! I feel it! Oh, Ducky!" **She broke down in hysterical tears and as the sobs shook her shoulders; Ducky could only pray she was wrong; but let her get it out; he knew she'd be better able to handle whatever the situation was this way.

As soon as they reached the parking garage on the yard; Ducky and Abby looked over the scene; both feeling their hearts stop; it was true; it didn't take but a second to see the evidence markers labled. Tim; Kinney; Tripp. _Oh, My; were they gone, too?_ Ducky worried. Quickly going inside to the squad room; they walked into the scene of every one of Team Gibbs; except the missing one; almost bowed over with the weight of their grief that their teammate had been successfully snatched from their protection.

"Jethro. Director. We got here as quickly as we could." Ducky quietly greeted them. "What happened?"

**"The damn fire alarm happened!"** Gibbs exploded; finally letting his some of his anger out. **"In all three of these buildings at the same time!** **Tell me _that_ wasn't planned_!"_**

Abby; who had been about to launch herself at Gibbs; froze at the beginning of his outburst of fury. Seeing the pain and anger in his eyes; like almost never before; hearing the emotion beneath his words; she gave him the space to let it out; he so desperately needed. This time; her need for solace and encouragement could wait for a minute.

"Something's not right." Tony said quietly. So quietly, Gibbs immediately stopped himself from saying or yelling anything else and waited for Tony to explain where he was going with this. "Tim was too careful lately; way too careful; has been since this mess started! There's no way he fell for this fire alarm crap! Something else happened; I just know it!" Deciding that only one of them needed to be venting at a time; Tony firmly held his anger and fear in check; not failing to see Abby on the verge of her own outburst.

"Yeah, Tony." Gibbs admitted with a slight wash of relief flowing through him at the reminder. "Yeah, you're right; Tim wouldn't have gone outside like that; he's too smart for that! Since this whole mess started; he's never left this building or any building he's been in without either Tony or me at his side; as well as Tripp and Kinney." Gibbs stated as he looked around at each of them in turn. Abby took the opportunity to finally step up to him and hug him with every ounce of fear she was feeling; only relaxing her grip when he squeezed her back in his own attempt to offer her solace.

Abby was scared to the silent point. Everyone knew when Abby was quiet was when she was most frightened. This time she had lept clear over the screaming and denial stages. Noticing this; as each of them seemed to do in tandem; just served to kick everyone's own fear for Tim up several notches. Ziva even appeared scared more than angry. Taking the time to notice how each of them was handling this; was Gibbs' only salvation at the moment. Focusing on the team instead of his own inner self. It was rare; but right now it was the only thing keeping him from bolting to his basement and venting in private; although even that wouldn't get Tim back.

Jenny looked shocked at that revelation. "You're serious? Even with Tripp and Kinney at his side?" her incredulous tone annoyed Gibbs.

"You forget that little conversation in your office the night those two went home on their own bad judgement?" Gibbs asked her with more than a sliver of his anger; he had plenty enough to share. "Poor kid never felt completely safe; unless he was here; inside this building; since this whole damn thing started!" Suddenly remembering what needed done; he turned to the M.E.

"Damn; Ducky; Tripp and Kinney are at Bethesda; I need you to go get us an update on them; watch out for them. Call Tony as soon as they're awake so he can get their statements. Something happened here; and we need to know what the hell it was! Send Palmer back if you can spare him; We need all the hands on this we can get."

"Certainly, Jethro. I'll call you as soon as I know something." Ducky answered. For once in his career; Ducky seemed reluctant to go do his job; like he was afraid he'd miss hearing any update on the search for Tim. When he hadn't moved after a couple of seconds; Gibbs took pity on him.

"Ducky; go on; I'll call you if we hear anything." Gibbs quietly promised; knowing exactly where the M.E's heart was at; at the moment; and more than understanding it.

Ducky silently nodded as he slowly began his steps toward the elevator. As he walked; he heard the Director speak. Stopping in his tracks; he turned to listen.

"Jethro; I've got six teams that have dropped their current cases and have actively taken up the search for him. Your team can do the investigative part here; stay by the phone;." Jenny told him.

Gibbs glared at her; "I already knew that or we wouldn't be standing here right now! You don't really expect _us_ to not look for him? As soon as we get a lead; we'll be out there looking for him. He's one of us!" Gibbs didn't even wait for her answer; he whipped out his phone and hit a speed dial #. "Hey!. I need your help Yours and your whole damn agency's!" Gibbs said into the phone; leaving a room full of shocked people behind as he took his call out of the squad room in search of fresh coffee.

Tony managed a slight grin at the clearly puzzled expressions Gibbs left in his wake. Taking pity on them; he clarified Gibbs' call. "Fornell."

"Oh. well, that makes sense." Jenny said as she sat at Tim's desk; deep enough in thought that she missed the pained expression on both Tony and Ziva's faces and even Abby's and Ducky's; as they watched her take up that space; the one that shouldn't be empty. As Abby headed back to her lab; her feet scuffed the floor with every step she took and her shoulders once again began shaking in sorrow and fear for her Timmy. Looking pointedly at the Director; both Tony and Ziva hurried after Abby. They needed each other right now; at least for a few minutes; a chance to let go before they buckled down; and they knew Gibbs would understand.

Taking a deep sigh of utter sorrow for his NCIS family; Ducky straighted his shoulders and turned back to the elevator and continued on his way to the hospital.

Ten short minutes later Gibbs returned to the squad room and stopped dead in his tracks at the sight of Jen at Tim's desk. Glaring at her with a potent mixture of anger and pain; she quickly got to her feet; finally realizing what she had done; and hoped the others would forgive her. It may seem insignificant in the overall picture; but Jenny knew they were all very emotionally raw and scared out of their minds and this was just an unnecessary knife twist; she hadn't meant it to be.

"Sorry, Jethro." she offered genuinely.

Silently he nodded his acceptance of her sentiment as he sat down at his desk and looked around his empty squad room. _Empty? Where are Tony and Ziva? _As he picked up his phone to track them; Jenny put her hand over the phone.

"No. Jethro; give them some time. They're helping each other get to where they can focus on finding him; but they have to get past grieving for losing him first." Jenny tried to reason.

"Jen, we don't have time. Case first; emotions later. We've lost enough time as it is." Gibbs bit out angrily; mostly angry at his own uselessness back in the garage. He desperately wanted to handle this without taking it out on any of the others. They were hurting too. "Get them back up here, please." he quietly requested as he retreated to his conference room to think.

Jenny watched him walk out of the squad room thoughtfully. The rarity in which he used that word; struck a chord in her. Yeah. this was gonna be damn hard to get through if he; team leader; was already this shaken up. But, then again; who wouldn't understand what he was going through. As she sat there thinking; getting ready to call Tony and Ziva back to their desks; Gibbs desk phone rang.

"Special Agent Gibbs' desk." she answered as she picked it up.

_"Probie?"_ a deep male voice asked.

Jenny felt her heart stop. She only knew of one person who went by that name around here; and his being missing made this call painful.

"Which agent are you looking for, please?" was the best comeback she could come up with in a flash.

_"Gibbs."_ was the curt answer she recieved.

"He's away from his desk right now, can I take a message?"

_"Just tell him I called; give him this number."_ the caller recited the number; thanked her and ended the call.

Writing the message down; just as she recieved it; she made sure to include the name the caller had used; hoping it wouldn't stab Jethro in the heart; like it had her. She knew it had significance to the caller; who hadn't given his name. Sighing in frustration; she called Tony.

* * *

When the team reassembled in the squad room a short ten minutes later; Jenny silently handed Gibbs the phone message she'd written down for him before turning back to Tony and Ziva;

"Whatta we got?"

**"Damn it!"** Gibbs exlaimed in anger; as his eyes stayed glued to his computer screen.

"Boss?" Tony asked in concern.

"This damn email crap, DiNozzo! Always somebody sending something stupid! Now; apparently, this link has to upload; since I didn't know it was trash before I opened it!" Gibbs was seriously disgusted.

"Uh, Boss; this isn't trash." Tony's voice was changing; and Gibbs didn't like the tension he was feeling from the young man.

"Tony?"

"Yeah, Uh, Boss; this is important; really important." Tony said as he clicked on the start arrow of the video that had popped up on Gibbs' screen.

_"NCIS!"_ the garbled voice rang out in a sickeningly "oh happy day" tone. The clothed person wore a black choir robe type garment and their entire head was covered with; weirdly enough; a paper bag! Yeah; this was gonna be easy; figuring out who this was. _NOT!_

"Oh, no! Jenny exclaimed; now getting that terrible vibe in the pit of her stomach.

_"YES, NCIS; We have something that belongs to you. And despite what you may thinkl; we plan to keep him! __But, don't worry; we do plan on sharing our fun with you; so; you'll get to visit with him. You just can't have him back. __Watch your email; make certain you open the gifts we send you or our little toy will get mistreated; messed up; broken; even. After all; what good's a present if you can't share it; hmm? I'll be very nice; I'll give you advance notice. You can expect your first present in your email boxes in oh, about two hours. Enjoy!"_

* * *

_So, Agent Gibbs; I hope this goes to show that you can't just screw with other people's lives and get away with it!"_ The same robed' bag covered head person again; sitting in a chair calmly.

The distorted voice; when it came through the video feed; startled them all; before instantly sending waves of anger through them.

_Your boy here; unfortunately; may learn his lesson right along with you, Jethro; but he won't live to use it once he does learn it. Both of you messed with the wrong people; apparently more than once; since both my friend and my partner's friend hate the two of you too!_

The link to the video feed had been delivered to them; as promised; just 2 hours later; 4 hours after Tim had been taken. Their missing teammate was tied to a pole in the center of a room; a room no bigger than Director Shepard's office. His arms had been stretched to their limits; over his head; and tied tightly at the wrists and elbows; with his hands laid flat against the wide pole. The ropes holding him were very thick; like straight out of an old pirates movie. One rope was apparently tied around his waist. Scantily clothed in just his boxer shorts; he was visibly shaking; obviously freezing.

**_"Gibbs, what did you do that involved Timmy?"_** Abby asked in an agonized cry.

"I dunno, Abbs; but I'll find out. Look through Tim's 'Project.'. Abby; get someone from Cybercrimes to help if you have to. If Jimmy's good at it; get him to help you." Gibbs instructed; knowing the answer was in there somewhere.

"Gibbs; Timmy already put it all on flashdrives remember? He kept it cleaned out." Abby reminded him; not reminding him of exactly why Tim had insisted on doing that.

Jenny looked at him in puzzlement. No one had told her about that

Gibbs just nodded at her; refusing to go there; with anyone.

"Did he ever talk about encrypting any of it? Gibbs asked.

"Not much; and anything he did; he would have sent me the codes to crack them. I just need to go through his flash drives and it would save time if we all looked through them. There's like 6 here. As soon as you pull up the file list though; print it out- label it to match the flash drive label and we're set." Abby explained.

"Great; pass them out; get it done; let's find out what we can. Ziva' how's it comin with the security footage?" Gibbs asked.

"Actually, Gibbs; I don't...." Ziva attempted to explain.

"I have them, Jethro; and the techs in MTAC are scouring through them as thoroughly as you would; they'll let me know when the get Tim's movements pieced together." Jenny answered him from next to him.

Thirty minutes later; they all regrouped up in the squad room; ready to go over the video tapes pieced together and dig into Tim's computer files. Even though the team had been absolutely swamped with cases in the last three weeks; Tim had still been meticulous in keeping his computer cleaned up; moving everything off the hard drive; every single night. Unfortunately his obsession was now a Godsend. Apparently Tim had uncovered who he considered the most possible suspects and the names at the top of the list had some jaws dropping in shock. Thankfully; in true McGee style; beside each name he had listed the reason he suspected them. Strangely enough; the list was extremely short.

Before they could progress on that any further; another email was received with it's typical arrival alert; and everyone froze; until Gibbs walked over to his computer and opened the email.

Suddenly swearing as he bolted from the Squad room; Gibbs now had the look of a pissed off person hell bent on tracking whoever this was to the ends of the earth. Looking at his email; Tony swore; these bastards were playing with Gibbs now.

_Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: We know you have a personal email account you use at home. We suggest you go home; where you can open your next present in private; after all the card for it has been personally hand delivered right to your door!_

Tony bolted; looking equally as pissed; determined not to let Gibbs have to go through this alone. If he was lucky; he'd catch him before he got off the navy yard.


	26. Thanks, Boss

The world had just gone black for Tim McGee. His deepest fear had just become one of his worst realities. His only consolation just before the blackness had drug him under; was that his other worst reality wasn't the one happening; neither of his families would have to live through this pain; be the target. It had been thirty-seven days since his first family had been killed; and at least now; his 2nd family would be safe.

It was dark when he opened his eyes; he couldn't see anything. His head was a floating ball of cotton and he couldn't seem to string two complete thoughts together. Obviously he was still feeling the affects of whatever they'd drugged him with. His arm hurt; like he'd been struck with something and his mouth tasted horribly like someone had poured something nasty down his throat.

_What the hell happened? How did they get him? He felt like he'd been attacked from all sides; and couldn't remember a damn thing._

_Think! Probie, think! -_ Tony's voice reverberated through his head.

_Tony? Tony's here? Tony; don't leave me here!_ Tim's mind screamed.

_Think, Probie! Pull it together! What do you remember? _Tony's voice snapped him back to rational thinking.

The last thing he remembered was arguing with Kinney- _what the hell had they been arguing about? Oh, yeah; now he remembered; the stupid fire alarm! Kinney had refused to believe it was a set up; and after having watched the team go through the nightmare with Tim's stalker/murder; Kinney was flipping out at the thought of dying in a fire! The idiot had pulled his weapon on Tim and Tripp; and if that wasn't enough; he'd physically hurt Tripp; and pushed both of them in turn; to the elevator; and out to the parking garage. The very last thing he remembered was seeing both Kinney and Trip drop like flies at his feet! The fear that had gripped his heart had almost choked the breath completely from his lungs. Then everything had gone black._

Now, he was here. All he could think was: _Thank God; it's me and not someone else on the team. Please; God, don't let whoever this is go after anyone else. Let me be where this stops_.

Wherever this was; was dark; no shred of light; taking stock of his physical situation; he found himself laying on his back on something cold and hard; very hard; he was naked. not a stitch of clothing on his body; and his legs were stretched out at angles; tied at the ankles and just below the knees to what felt like slats of a fence post. His arms were stretched out painfully tight over his head and there were wide bands of leather on each of his wrists; from what he could feel of it; pulled tautly as they were secured to something else. Since he couldn't see well in the dark; not like Abby; he couldn't tell what his wrists were ultimately attached to. He felt a patch of cool gel on his lower stomach; and a large bandage over it._ What the hell had they done to him while he was out? Whatever the hell it was; was making him increasingly uncomfortable below his waist. Oh, hell! Don't tell me; they've given me some kind of enhancer crap!' Just great! So, this is about sex? Is this for real? What the hell? Tell me; this is where Tony wakes me up and laughs at the joke, right? TELL me, this isn't REAL!_

_Relax, McGee!_

"okay, Boss" Tim whispered; grateful his mentor was still with him. Redirecting his mind; desperate to ward off the oncoming panic; he recalled the preparations he had made for this; only to come up frighteningly empty; it had never; in all his mental preparations; occurred to him that this was a possible scenario. Looking around at the blanket of darkness; he saw the telltale signs of video cameras being used; those blinking red lights gave themselves away every time. There seemed to be one in each of the four corners of the room; finally giving Tim an idea of how small the room was; seemed to be about as big as Director's Shepard's office.

_So; this is personal. Whoever's doing this wants someone at NCIS; and me; to pay for something that's happened to them. _Tim reasoned.

Deliberately keeping his mind working in that direction; he refused to let it go in the only other direction available in his present situation; he did not want to think about what his captors had in mind for him_. _But; then again; maybe if he did consider the possibilities; they wouldn't be so bad when they did come_. Judging by the pain he was beginning to feel just below his waist; he seriously doubted the validity of that hope. __Wait; was that voices he heard? What were they saying:_

* * *

_Wow; he's as gorgous as I remember; course not as gorgous as that boss of his; but since this here pretty boy stole Gibbs from me; I'll just take him instead. Looks like he handled he roofie just fine! you dose him with the other drug for me; yet? I want him rarin to ride!"_

_"He's ready. I put it on his stomach; you sure that topical stuff's gonna work for ya? "  
__"It damn well better work; damn stuff's expensive!"  
__"Aren't you gonna wait til he's awake?"_

_"Oh, no! Not for my first time; I've been waiting too damn long and it's a video chance of a lifetime. I want Gibbs to see every bit of the fun I'm gonna have with him. His entire team will get to see the fun you're gonna have with him."_

_"Just call me when you're done with him."_

_"Oh, no; you're gonna be a witness that they can see. It will make it that much more potent a punishment for the two of them; and indirectly; the rest of them; too."_

_"You think I want him the same way you do? You're crazy! I just wanna beat the crap outta him!"  
__"Just look at him! I know you want him, too!"  
__"Just get on with it!"  
_

* * *

_Oh GOD! Oh, Jesus; help me; _Tim silently cried; his heart pounding in his chest_. PLEASE!._

_Relax, Tim. Take it minute by minute._ Gibbs' voice resounded in his head

_Gibbs? Gibbs! Oh, Thank God!_

_But; all this time and it had been for something he and Gibbs had done? __Wait! What? He had done what? Stole Gibbs from a woman? What the hell was she talking about? How the hell does a straight guy steal a straight guy away from a woman? When was he supposed to have done this? What had he done to this man? It was pretty obvious what the woman wanted. He could probably handle that; even though it wasn't anything he wanted to handle._ _This is crazy! __Alex, I'll take one of Tony's stupid Twilight Zone episodes for $1,000; please? Just take this punk'd episode away; NOW! She HAS to be jokin! Who the hell would choose Tim McGee over Gibbs anyway? He; steal Gibbs away from a woman? Yeah; right! What the hell's she been sniffin?_

_What did I tell you? Relax! stop giving your mind the chance to let you get buried under this_

"Thank you so much. Boss." Tim whispered. Closing his eyes to near slits in the darkness; he felt his skin crawl as he heard the whisper of their clothing when they moved. Soon; he could feel the woman's breath on his crotch as she apparently found something to hold her interest there. He felt his body continue to react to whatever had been applied to his stomach; his maleness now most painfully swollen; his vision blurred once again.

_Relax ! _Gibbs' voice hadn't left him; thankfully; but the testerone push he'd been given was beginning to override even that much needed voice of reason.

He was becoming more angry by the minute and it was all he could do to keep his mouth shut and stay still; when all he really wanted to do was scream at her and teach her a lesson of his own. As her hands and breath and hair began to be used to torment his already overly-sensitized skin; and private areas where she seemed focused; Tim's breathing became hard and erratic; his heart still pounding; he began to panic; and had to draw strength from the recesses of his mind where he kept those memories he had worked so damn hard to store up:

_"McGee! You will NOT have a panic attack! You got me? Now, relax; calm your breathing down, right now! Deep breath in; deep breath out! That's right; keep doing it; calm. yourself. down."_

He silently offered his gratitude to the man who'd gotten him through so much; praying he'd stay with him; help get him through this:

_Thanks Boss_!

_"McGee...If you let yourself get all worked up about it like this; then you take away your ability to think straight about it; about anything!"_

_"Yes, Boss!';_ Tim silently offered_. _H_e_ remembered Gibbs had said that to him that first night he'd had felt he was in trouble. _God, had it only been 46 days ago? _Tim remembered keeping track of the days; wanting to keep it all written in facts for the team for when this happened. _Thank God! Gibbs is still here! _

A light was turned on; so it illuminated the table well. Forcing himself to calm down and keep his eyes closed; Tim could barely hold back the fear that was steadily beginning to fill his mind.

The woman's voice broke through his thoughts_:_

_You are such a beautiful specimen! I need to hurry up and harness you before it's too late!_ Suddenly; a lightening bolt of pain shot through him as she snapped a ring on his already painful arousal; she'd been deliberately working over. A loud cry of pain escaped him; having finally lost control of the situation.

_SShh. It's okay. Relax; Tim._

As he suspected; it only gave her cause to smile; increasing her enjoyment of her torture. It wasn't bad enough they'd drugged him to get him here; drugged with something different; apparently to get a literal rise out of him; make him easy for her to play with; molest. He continued to feel it build up within him; now to the point he was in physical pain while angrier than he'd ever experienced in his entire life; ready to rip his arms out of their sockets to get ahold of her and teach her a lesson. Instead; all he could do was work to breathe through the pain and the overloading of his brain as she continued to play with him. Maybe, he'd be lucky and she'd been waiting so long; it wouldn't take her long to go away happy. _God; he hoped so!_

_It's okay, Son; let it out!_

_Boss! Help me!_ A minute later; feeling like she'd just ripped him apart; Tim's scream of pain shattered the quiet and bounced off the walls as it tore from his lungs as impaled herself on him so completely; in one harsh; and unending move; it was all he could do to breathe; the pain wave rode through him so thoroughly.

_"Oh, God! Boss! HELP ME!_ Tim cried out silently. _Oh, God; BOSS!! TONY!! HELP ME PLEASE!_

_I know it hurts,Tim. I know right now, you don't know where you're gonna find the strength to go on. Don't give them this. You have to calm down._

_I remember, Boss. Thank you. Please don't leave me._ Tim's mind cried

She smiled at the nearest camera

_"Ah, so, you like this; do you? I've been waiting so long for you! Be sure and smile for your boss; he's watching you know. Just look into the camera; let him know how much you're enjoying our little ride, hmm?"_ As she continued to repeatedly throw herself down on him; he could barely hold back the tears of pain.

_It's okay, Son; let it out_

_I love it when you scream for me!_ She chortled loud enough for the camera.

_It's okay to cry, Tim._

As he heard Gibbs; still here for him; reminding him to let go; Tim felt his tears slip beneath his eyelids and roll down his face.

_Thanks Boss_; he whispered as the darkness reached out for him and embraced him;


	27. Dad and Big Brother

Tony did catch up to Gibbs in time to go with him. Having thrown himself into the car; no explanation given or asked for; the ride silently speaking volumes ; Tony's thoughts turned back to Tim. _Hang in there, man. Don't let them take you down like this; without a fight._

After getting Gibbs' mail for him; his heart stopping at the handwritten; no postage; envelope on top; Tony was set to follow him into the house; help him secure it; but Gibbs had other ideas; ordering Tony to stay in the car; in too big of a hurry to look at what they wanted him to see; so he could get back to the office; back to finding Tim.

As he opened the email sent to his personal address; as the hand written note in his mailbox had instructed; Gibbs felt positively sickened at the sight in front of him. Watching his obviously drugged agent awaken and look around him; seeing him notice the cameras; look into the closest one and whisper what were obviously heartfelt apologies to each team member; even while he lay naked and tied to the table; broke Gibbs heart completely. He didn't think things could get any worse for this poor young man.

He was wrong. Turning his head from his agent's humilation; Gibbs' attention was brought up short by the now unscrambled voice of a woman.

_"Well, we finally get to meet again, Jethro; although; this time; I'm afraid it won't be in person. So, we won't be sharing any more kisses; but I've decided to give my kisses to your agent here; instead. Since it's his fault; you and I never got to sail on your boat and we never got beyond the first kiss; he'll just be making amends to me._

_Oh, and my partner will be having his fun with him, too; as his just reward for the trouble he caused_.

I_F you want this to go well for your young man; here; you must play by the rules. _

_Rule #1: You must open the email I will be sending you every night at 7 sharp. If you fail to open this email; within 15 minutes; Agent McGee here will pay the price. Now; I'm not sure what price it will be; but it will be costly to him; and to you. So, I'd advise you to not forget rule #1._

_Rule #2 - well; you already know that one; that one's for the rest of Agent McGee's team. They must watch their video within 15 min of recieving it as well. We have them monitored and know when they are opened and viewed._

_Rule # 3 - There will be pop quizzes on what you see; and if you don't want him hurt worse; you must be able to ace the tests. so you must watch and listen!_

_That's fair enough; isn't?_

_Oh, we mustn't forget to discuss the reward! Your reward for following the rules? Well; yours is two-fold; Jethro._

_1. You get treated to front seating to the best show in the house!_

_2. Your agent gets to stay healthy. Well; on my account; anyway._

_Now; unfortunately; I can't guarantee he won't get hurt; by my partner; because; well after all; that's not my call. That's my partner's call. And since my partner's pre-tty upset at your boy here; oh, and you; of course; well; he's probably gonna be unstoppable about this. Sorry._

_But; I can guarentee; that if you don't play by the rules; he won't stay healthy from me either! And; what's more; if this becomes an issue; we'll just come get another one of your agents to play with!_

_So; i suggest you simply sit back and watch the show - both shows; actually! They should prove to be quite entertaining!  
__Don't forget your appointment; right here; tomorrow night; 7 pm sharp! Jethro!  
__have a good night now! AFTER you watch the show; of course.!_

* * *

As he watched; he felt sick at heart.A bright light was turned on

_Relax, Tim. Take it minute by minute._ the encouragement escaped him before he even realized he'd spoken it.

_What did I tell you? Relax! Stop giving your mind the chance to let you get buried under this_ Gibbs thought; as Tim's distraught state became more obvious with each passing moment.

Tim was clearly awake; distressed; and most likely scared out of his mind! Gibbs watched his agent's chest show his breathing becoming hard and erratic; his heart still pounding; Tim was beginning to panic;

_"McGee! You will NOT have a panic attack! You got me? Now, relax; calm your breathing down, right now! Deep breath in; deep breath out! That's right; keep doing it; calm. yourself. down."_

Gibbs repeated that out loud; like somehow it would do his son any good. He remembered the last time they'd had that conversation; the memory bringing the tears almost as much as the agony and depravity Tim was being made to suffer right in front of his very eyes.

_"Thanks Boss_!"

Gibbs recalled Tim's gratitude Quickly that brought up another memory

_"McGee...If you let yourself get all worked up about it like this; then you take away your ability to think straight about it; about anything."_

Gibbs recalled having to calm Tim down that 1st night this whole nightmare started.

The woman's voice broke through his thoughts_: __You are such a beautiful specimen! I need to hurry up and harness you before it's too late!_ Suddenly; Gibbs could see Tim's body react to the pain she'd just inflicted on him as she snapped a ring on his obvious already painful arousal; she'd been deliberately working over. Finally having lost control of the situation; Tim gave up a loud cry of pain. The sound of which; ripped at Gibbs' heart.

_SShh. It's okay. Relax; Tim._ Gibbs absently soothed his agent through the computer screen.

As Gibbs suspected; it only gave her cause to smile; increasing her enjoyment of her torture. It wasn't bad enough they'd drugged Tim to get him there; drugged with something different; apparently to get a literal rise out of him; made him easy for her to play with; molest him. Gibbs could see the patch on his stomach; damn; they'd given him something so strong it's not even safe to touch!

It was easy to see the difficulty Tim was having as he worked to breathe through the pain she was continuing to cause him. In emotional agony; Gibbs realized his suffering agent's brain had to be as overloaded as his body. After all; she'd drugged him to get him into that state. It was obvious she didn't care what damage she was doing; as she continued to play with him. Maybe, Tim'd be lucky and she'd been waiting so long; it wouldn't take her long to stop. _God; he hoped so!_

_It's okay, Son; let it out!_ Gibbs thought; seeing how desperately Tim was fighting to keep quiet; despite the agony she'd worked him into

A minute later; none of that mattered; Tim's scream of pain shattered the quiet and bounced off the walls as it tore from his lungs as she impaled herself on him so completely; in one harsh; and unending move; it seemed he'd stopped breathing. The look of feeling ripped apart; the silent scream for help were both written all over Tim's face; leaving Gibbs desperately wanting to punch some walls out.

_I know it hurts,Tim. I know right now, you don't know where you're gonna find the strength to go on. Don't give them this. You have to calm down._ Gibbs mentally anquished; wishing the young man could know he was there for him; somehow; as crazy as it sounded.

She smiled at the nearest camera: _Ah, so, you like this; do you? I've been waiting so long for you! Be sure and smile for your boss; he's watching you know. Just look into the camera; let him know how much you're enjoying our little ride, hmm?"_ As she continued to repeatedly throw herself down on him; he could barely hold back the tears of pain

_"Doesn't this look like fun, Gibbs? Don't you wish it was you here with me instead of your half-wit agent?"_

Gibbs blood was boiling. He could see Tim struggle to push through the pain she'd sent through him; to relax enough to calm his breathing

_It's okay, Son; let it out. _Gibbs own voice bounced around his dining room and back at him.

Gibbs wanted to reach through the video camera and wrap his hands around her throat. Not able to take seeing any more of Tim's agony; he got up out of his chair; and reached to turn Tim's laptop off;

_I love it when you scream for me!_ She chortled loud enough for the camera.

_It's okay to cry, Tim. _Gibbs tried to channel to his agent.

Gibbs took one last look; and almost felt his knees give out when he saw Tim's tears finally sliding down hos face; as his body slackened; oblivian finally taking him blessedly away from that woman.

It was too much; with more strength than he knew he had; Gibbs let go of the laptop; backed away from picking it up and throwing it against the wall; reached back toward it to snap it off; and turned on his heel and took himself back out to the car.

It was time to hunt this bitch down!

* * *

The ride back to NCIS was fraught with so much pain and anger radiating off Gibbs; Tony almost choked on it. Whatever had been in the note; had been really; really; bad.

Gibbs' eyes were so full of the pain he couldn't even begin to put away. This was deep personal revenge; against him; and Tim. The one time; he; Leroy Jethro Gibbs; had let his libido rule over his brain; Tim was paying the price; but the bastards were extracting payment from him, just as much; and the rest of the team as a bonus. Now, if he could just remember who the hell she was! Gibbs was scared to death that Tim; if they got him back; would never; ever; be the same. Knowing his son the way he did; it just hit him so hard; that something like this changes a man; and never for good. These bastards would win; even when they got him back.

Although Tony left Gibbs alone all the way to work; he was getting more worried about him by the minute; and the more he worried he got about Gibbs; the more scared he got for Tim. If Gibbs was this affected; it had to be really; really; really bad! Tony looked at Gibbs a second time; something was very; very wrong; in all the years Tony had known Gibbs; this was the first time; Gibbs' emotional pain had been so obvious you couldn't miss it in his eyes.

As Gibbs headed upstairs to talk to the Director; as soon as they got to the squad room; Tony ran after him and quietly called his name. As he turned to look at his Senior Field Agent; Gibbs made an effort to hide his pain; but there was too much of it; and he didn't succeed.

"Tony?"

"Boss; what is it that's so bad; you can't tell me? Let me help you; we're a team, remember? We all want to find Tim. You gotta let me in!"

Tony's sympathetic but determined tone broke Gibbs' resolve to carry this alone. Gesturing silently, he urged Tony to follow him up to the director's office. He knew this would hurt Tony to see; but also knew it would help drive him more than ever to find Tim; and to be Gibbs' opposite brain wave; when things got worse; which Gibbs somehow knew they were going to. He silently prayed that Tim would forgive him for letting Tony in on this part of his ordeal; since he was only doing it to garner Tony's utmost cop experience and help him sort throught this; and find him.

Walking into the Director's Office; Tony was surprised to see the Director on the phone; and hear that it was Abby she was talking to. When had Gibbs made any calls on the trip back to the office? Tony could see; after talking to Abby; the Director was ready and they were about to watch a video; his heart stopped and he suddenly felt cold. This **was** bad; and it was about Tim.

As Gibbs nodded; Jenny clicked on the key that started the clip; what first appeared broke Tony's heart and filled him with more rage than he'd ever felt in his life before. Even the rage he felt at his father's betrayal and abandonment paled to what he felt know.

This was Tim. His Probie. And his Probie had been through hell; his dog stolen and killed; being stalked; kept a nervous wreck for two months; his family targeted and killed; being kidnapped; and now this? These bastards needed to be strung up by their toes and done the same way they were treating Tim!

Tony couldn't watch anymore. He'd taken two steps toward the door; when the scream ricocheted off the office walls; bringing tears to Tony's eyes. Turning around reluctantly; to see what that bitch had done to Tim on the video to make him scream in pain like that; he felt sucker-punched at the scene in front of him. Feet glued to the carpet; angry eyes glued to what his Probie was being sujected to; Tony somehow got through it until; like Gibbs had; he felt his knees almost give out.

Blindly, eyes burning with rage and wet with tears; Tony fled the room.


	28. Revelation

Mentally head slapping himself senseless for having the momentary stupidity to put Tony through having to see what Tim was being subjected to; Gibbs found himself suddenly so out of his depth; he couldn't think straight. Lost in his confused thoughts and almost overwhelming negative emotions as he and Jenny waited in MTAC; unwilling to see or listen to that video again; it got his mind back on what the woman had said.

_They'd kissed? She knew about his boat? They'd planned on taking it out? Tim had something to do with them not having any more of a relationship? And it was on a case?_

Suddenly, a light came on in Gibbs' brain.

_"McGee; this had better be the most important phone call you've ever made."_

_God, of course! He remembered that now_! Flipping his phone open; he hit the speed dial # he needed.

"Abby!"

"Gibbs, I'm almost in!"

Gibbs closed up his phone; took a deep breath; and called Tony

"Boss?" Tony's voice was remarkably calm. Gibbs was proud of his oldest son. The kid had seen a hellofa lot of crap today; and was stepping back up to the plate; like the Senior Field Agent; the big brother; Gibbs knew he was capable of being.

"Tony, you and Ziva meet me in Abby's lab."

"Boss? You guys find something?"

Gibbs silently ended the call without giving Tony an answer. He looked at Jen; "You may want to be there to see this, Director."

"Jethro?"

"I know who took my agent, Jen! I just need Abby to verify it!"

Together; but silently; they made their way to Abby's lab. Ziva and Tony were already present.

"Abby; tell me you have his files open, already!"

"Just about; one more second.. Okay; I'm in! **Oh, My God! Gibbs! I know who took Timmy!**

As Gibbs kept his eyes on Jenny; Abby opened her mouth to speak; only to be joined in words; by Gibbs.

_"KAREN WILKERSON!!!!"_

Tony's jaw almost hit the floor.

"Boss?"

"Yeah, Tony; she has him. But she's not the one who took him; at least not by herself. Bring up the case file. Who was the kid we arrested with her? We couldn't prove which one had comitted the murder. If I remember correctly; they both went to prison for the embezzlement of the drugs. oh; and the trafficking, of course.

"Gibbs; according to McGee: Karen Wilkerson was released from prison on good behavior; under the new law that was passed to thin out overcrowded prisons." Ziva exlaimed in anger.

"Damn It! Who was her cellmate?" Gibbs asked. "

"**Oh, No! Gibbs!"** Abby cried.

"Who was it, Abby?" Gibbs demanded.

"Jamie Carr!"

Now, it was Gibbs' jaw that almost hit the floor.

"Gibbs; Jamie Carr is still in prison."

"Well, yeah; Ziva; the case against her was water-tight. Double murder,"

"Boss; Wilkerson's partner in crime was Niles Wilson; apparently; he got the same walking deal that Wilkerson got." Tony provided. "Boss! We got a problem! Wilson's cell-mate? **Rico Caldas!"** Tony exclaimed in outrage.

**"Damn it!"** Gibbs declared. "You mean to tell me we've got three cases wrapped up in this thing? Okay; Ziva; Tony; go over all three case files with a fine tooth comb; include the whereabouts of these bastards from the time they were put away! Abby! get me a printout of McGee's notes on these cases; from that list you just pulled up! I'll be at my desk." Gibbs left; desperately in need of fresh coffee.

* * *

When he came back from getting coffee; Gibbs found an envelope on his desk. There was a note attached.

_Boss:  
__Found this in his Desk. - Tony._

When he removed the note from the envelope; he saw his name written there: in Tim's handwriting. Seeing that handwritting twisted Gibbs' heart. Taking a deep breath; he opened the envelope. Inside he found a typed written page; with notes written in under some of the typed entries

**Karen Wilkerson  
****Petty Officer, Niles Wilson **

I figured out the sound coming from the recorded crime scene was staged.

I accompanied Gibbs to Wilkerson's office both times he went..

translated computer speak for Gibbs during the personal questioning

Both Gibbs and I explained the code that was found. I showed Wilson where to look for it.

I called Gibbs at a bad moment (had to be; since he told me:

"_McGee; this had better be the most important phone call you've ever made"_

_******************  
Jamie Carr**_

I traced the money. This was explained in detail during the trail. I wa a key witness for several days and my name was mentioned repeatedly because of it.

_**This is one of the times I caught hell from Gibbs. I had received the video link in an email from a friend and didn't report it because I thought it was a made up gag._

_I hoped and prayed Bossman would NEVER be that angry with me again. It sucked! I was ready to throw in the towel_

*******************  
Rico Caldas**

Abby and I followed the webcams trail and got the location- just outside the base.  
I helped looped video feed to fool perps.  
I testified in court as to how we did it. They saw me and heard my name.

* * *

As Gibbs finished reading the facts Tim had layed out in the paper; his eyes kept straying to the personal notes the young man had hand written in. It hurt to see something from that long ago come back to haunt him now. But, it hurt worse to see how much what he'd said or done back then; had affected his agent.

Drawing in a huge sigh; he blew it out slowly and got up from his desk. He needed to get this info to the team; down in Abby's lab. They pretty much stayed there; waiting for the next email from this bitch and her cronie.

As Gibbs arrived in the lab; the email sound went off and with heavy hearts; the team gathered around Abby's computer.

As the team watched in horror; tears in all of their eyes; Tim was beaten with a pipe; a large pipe; over two inches in diameter; made of steel; repeatedly; and almost everywhere. Niles Wilson; looking younger than his obvious strength allowed; didn't say a word as he delivered the beating. He also; arrogantly; didn't wear anything to disguise who he enough, Tim was not reacting to the beating. Suddenly it dawn on them; he was drugged into a stupor.

Ziva was the first to vocalize the devastatingly painful reality. "This is not about McGee's pain. They don't care if he feels it."

"No;" Gibbs said with pure molten fury in his voice; and the pain of this truth in his eyes. "It's about ours.

"They want us to feel it." Ziva further explained in her own anger.

"It's personal; against one of us? Who?" Abby asked in horror.

"Me!" Gibbs muttered in barely controlled fury and self-hatred for Tim's suffering.

"Tim, too." Tony's quiet anger richocheted off the walls. He hated seeing what this was doing to Gibbs. Given that the girls didn't know; wouldn't be told; about the other half of what Tim was being put through; they couldn't fully understand the depth of bossman's anger and other self-deprecating emotions driving him now.

As he headed out of the lab; with Tony on his heels; Gibbs barked out orders; once again galvanized into action; fueled by his rage; and Tim's suffering; **_"Abby; Ziva; figure out where that damn video's coming from!!"_**


	29. The Ultimate Price

It had been72 hours since Tim McGee had been snatched from the safety and security of NCIS. The Agents who had been assigned to protect him and make sure this didn't happen; Tripp and Kinney; were cleared by the hospital to go back to work. Even though they'd recovered from their near fatal run in with the kidnappers; neither Tripp nor Kinney remembered the events that had taken place once outside the building.

When shown the video tapes; Kinney had reluctantly admitted; he'd been freaked out beyond what he could handle; after the weeks of relentless rigidity with which he'd had to live and protect McGee; as well as the awfullness of the facts surrounding McGee's situation. He'd cracked under the strain. Kinney was promptly relieved of duty and his position with NCIS and given a complimentary pass into a facility that could help him recover from his experience. Agent Tripp was given 2 weeks leave to recouperate.

In those awful; emotionally painful first 3 days; Gibbs, Abby, Ziva, Ducky, and even Jimmy had scoured video surveillance tapes; Tim's desk computer; flash drives and case files; for anything that would help them find him. The video emails sent to the team kept coming; their content similar in content; always Tim tied up; defenseless; drugged. Most of the videos were of their missing teammate just tied to that pole; but not being bothered or harrassed or beaten; and for that they were all thankful. By the time this fourth day had almost come to a close; they'd been subjected to 4 such videos. Gibbs, in turn; had been subjected to his own four videos in addition to those sent to the team.

Fornell and his FBI agents had located the building; but had found it empty. There had been no trace of anyone having been there. Still the videos continued to arrive. Even the ones sent to Gibbs' at his private email; continued to come. Gibbs felt more and more frustrated; angry; and ready to kill these bastards as soon as they could be found. His own guilt was eating him alive; when his anger wasn't already doing it.

He had failed Tim The poor kid's family was gone because Gibbs had failed him. He'd been snatched because Gibbs had failed him; and now, they couldn't find him because Gibbs had failed him. Gibbs could only hope and pray that they would find his agent before it was too late.

Abby had traced the video feed; only to come up empty; no sign of anything or anyone where the feed seemed to have originated from. It was frustrating to say the least. Six teams of NCIS agents staggered shifts and searched high and low for Tim; while his team desperately combed through clues trying to pinpoint where Wilkerson had taken him. No one wanted to say the words; but they all knew; _Tim McGee was running out of time._

Gibbs had been so wrapped up in trying to find his missing agent; he'd never returned the phone call from the abrupt caller who'd asked for him by _"Probie."_ It took him 3 days to find the message on his desk, where he'd accidentally buried it. Taking a deep breath; allowing the stab of pain he felt at seeing Tim's nickname written down; he mentally forced himself past the pain. He decided hearing a friendly voice right about now; couldn't hurt. Hell; maybe his expertise could even come in handy. Gearing himself up to be called by that nickname; he hoped it would be a quick call.

"Probie, bout time you return my call; what the hell is going on up there?" Franks demanded.

"Too long of a story, Mike. Short of it is, one my agents; our own Probie is missing; has been for more than 72 hours and if we're not suddenly smarter than these bastards who took him; we're not gonna get him back. They've already promised us." Gibbs rushed through the explanation; hoping it was clear enough that Franks would get the message thrown into it.

"You know who's got him?" Franks asked.

"Yeah; just can't find him." Gibbs admitted; his heart in his voice.

"I'll be on the next flight out, Jethro. You keep looking!"

"Thanks, Mike." Gibbs gratefully replied.

* * *

_Time had no meaning. The fog remained; surrounding him; limiting his ability to think; to feel. His legs felt like dead wieghts; hell; his whole body felt like a ten ton pile of goo. The only thing holding him up was this pole at his back. The agony screaming through his arms' kept constantly stretched over his head and tied at the wrists; and legs; kept constantly tied at the knees and ankles; was driving him near insane. The pain along with the drug constantly running through his system was successfully driving all else from his mind; his name; his memories of the life he'd left behind; everything save one voice accompanied by one cobalt blue set of piercing eyes that he couldn't get out of his mind. The voice soothed him where nothing else could: __constantly reminding him that he wasn't entirely alone_

_"Relax"  
__"Everything's gonna be okay."  
__"Stay calm"_

_But, the best part of hearing that voice; oh, the best part was the way it kept consoling him:_

"I know it hurts; son. It's gonna be okay."

He wallowed in those words; stayed in the part of his mind that allowed him to listen to them; over and over again. Even when the darkness claimed him; as it did time and time again; that voice seemed to stay with him; those eyes steadily promising him something; although he cvould no longer understand what he was being promised.

* * *

_Day 10_

Ten of the most awful; horrendous days of their lives had passed; the ones without their missing teammate being found. Retired NCIS Agent Mike Franks had flown in from joined in the search; arriving four days ago. Not only had he thrown in his expertise and advice; but he'd become Gibbs' sounding board and anchor; for which the team was profoundly grateful. Gibbs was better able to function; keep his focus; with Franks around.

Numerous raids had been held on suspected buildings within a 200 mile radius. No one had even come close to finding him. The vidoes were seeming more and more like wild goose chases. They were all frustrated; angry; and grieving; all of them believing in thier hearts that they would never find him.

As the expected delivery time of the next video arrived; Gibbs' gut suddenly clenched. Something told him; this video was gonna be different. This one wasn't good. Sure enough; as the rest of his people watched in horror; his missing agent, Tim McGee was shown to be laid out in the floor; on a skimpy blanket; still naked; although, this time; they had covered him discreetly with what appeared to be a towel. Gibbs took one look at the video and snapped his cell phone out. Franks looked at him in surprise as he made the call.

**"Duck; I need you up here, now!"** Gibbs requested; his heart in his throat. He wasn't liking what he was seeing and he refused to believe it until Ducky told him he was right. _Please let Ducky, tell me I'm wrong!_

"Jethro, whatever is the ; Oh, my! Good heavens! Oh dear me!" Ducky lamented; his heart on his sleeve; in his eyes and throughout his voice.

**"Ducky, talk to me!"** Gibbs demanded; his own voice thick with emotion he could no longer bother to hide. His anquished voice drawing the attention of everyone on the floor.

"Jethro, I can't see closely enough to make a determination of any kind."

"Abby!" Gibbs needlessly barked at the crying forensic scientist; who had obviously already figured out what Gibbs was trying to deny. As Abby zoomed in on Tim's upper body; it was painfully clear; he wasn't breathing."Oh, dear!. Jethro, I'm afraid..." Ducky began.

"DUCKY; do not say it unless you're 100% positive!" Gibbs warned; as Franks looked on with grave concern and sympathy. Tony, Ziva, Jimmy and even Jenny were all circled around behind the boss; trying desperately to stay out of it; but barely able to contain thier rising rage at what they knew they were witnessing. Unseen behind them; the entire squad room had stopped working and had latched their eyes onto the screen the MCRT team was focused on.

"Jethro, we can clearly see; Timothy is no longer breathing. If you look closely; you can see his lips are blue.

I'm deeply sorry. All of you," With tears sliding down his face; NCIS M.E. pronounced painfully:

"Our Timothy is gone."


	30. We Must Rally

_I'm deeply sorry. All of you," With tears sliding down his face; NCIS M.E. pronounced painfully:  
__"Our Timothy is gone."

* * *

_

**"NO!"** Abby screamed . As she turned to run from the room; Tony snatched her back and hauled her into his arms; holding her as tightly as they both needed; each suddenly the other's anchor; neither of them bothering to hide the tears flowing down their faces.

Jenny reached out to Ziva; similarily enfolding her in an embrace for support and mutual grieving. Tears flowed freely between them as well.

The entire squad room was soon filled with the sounds of an Agency grieving for the loss of one of their own.

Gibbs; no longer able to handle the thought of Tim being on display; clicked the plazma off. Casting his devastated eyes around at his team members; making sure they each had someone to hold onto in these first moments of this tragedy; Gibbs felt slightly relieved to find he could reasonably escape the suddenly suffocating squad room. Even with Mike Franks on his tail; he was breathing easier once he'd left the place that Tim McGee had called his second home for four years.

Heading straight to his basement as soon as he reached home; Gibbs set his hands to sanding his boat; like the devil was on his back. While Franks looked on; Gibbs worked himself into a frenzy; daring his anger to come out; needing some part of the overwhelming emotions he was drowning in; to come out; let him breathe again. Finally; some 30 minutes after he'd started; Gibbs stopped; picked up his work bench and hurled it across the basement. Hearing it smash against the far wall and crash to the floor; did nothing to ease his pain. Sinking down, against the wall; with a bottle of bourbon in his hand; Leroy Jethro Gibbs proceeded to drink away his pain.

Mike Franks turned and silently went back upstairs. Jethro would be no use to anyone right now. He would come back from this hell; in his own time; in his own way. Any attempts to push him or even prod him; would only backfire. No, it was best just to let him have this 1st night his way. Franks fired up the coffee pot; slightly unsettled at the thought of having to be the sober one in the house tonight.

Back at NCIS; the remainder of the team stood frozen in place. Each leaning on someone; who in turn leaned on them. No one had the energy or desire to move. It was like the moment they did; they were abandoning Tim. Finally; after an eternal silence broken only by the tears and sobs of those around him; Ducky did what needed to be done. Straightening up his spine; he gathered his determination and drive; his commitment to this team and to Jethro. Knowing what needed to be said was deeply painful; he wanted to get all of such painful necessities out of the way at once; so these young people could begin to breathe again.

"We know that we'll need to have a Memorial Service for Timothy. In the meantime; however; I would like to see us catch thes bastards!" Ducky's anger resonated through the MCRT area of the squad room.

Surprisingly enough; Abby was the first team member to come back from the abyss of grief she stood on; and throw her hat back into the ring.

"Ducky's right! We have to get justice for Timmy! I'll be in my lab. Anyone wanna help me disect these damn videos; come on down! There's gotta be someway they can lead us to these bastards!"

Abby and Ducky's rallying cries seemed to be the jolt Tony, Ziva and Jenny needed. While Tony and Ziva; along with Ducky and Palmer; all headed toward the lab; intent on helping Abby; Jenny headed up to her office; to do her official; yet most unpleasant task. Since Tim had signed his parent's estate over to herself and Jethro; jointly; unable to handle the idea of dealing with any of it; Jenny was in the position to plan hier Memorial Service; make the arrangements and everything that went with it. Everything was put on "Pending" status; until she heard back from Gibbs.

She knew he'd finallly broken under the strain and the grief and pain; most likely gone home to his basement to drink himself into an oblivious stupor trying to escape what he wasn't equipped or ready to deal with. Losing an agent like this was so far beyond painful; there were no words to describe it. The fact that Tim was not the first Agent Gibbs had lost; only magnified what his team was going through; what he was going through; especially, given the magnitude of his own family's tragedy, to boot.

Two hours and countless pairs of eyes; stopping; rewinding; fastforwarding; scurtinizing the videos they'd been sent; all the while; fighting the tears and almost overwhelming emotions they evoked; the problem in locating the bastards had been identified.

"Those damn videos are looped! Only the 1st 2 are real time! The rest are chopped pieces looped back together!" Abby exclaimed in anger. "No damn wonder we couldn't track em down!"

Abby's ranting was interrupted by the arrival of yet another video. Swearing up a blue streak, she opened it. Surprise of all surprises; it was Karen Wilkerson; no longer masking her appearance.

"Well, NCIS' looks like I won! I kept my word; you didn't get him back. Oh, and don't worry; we've buried him nice and proper for you. So, the're will be no need for you to have a funeral for him. It's been fun; but, I think it's time we said our goodbyes. Don't you?" Toodle Do!" As the video faded out; the team's anger was palpable.

Abby rallied back and quickly began trying to trace this newest piece of awfulness. As she continued to type; Agent Fornell arrived in her lab; looking like he'd just heard the devastating news.

"I'm so sorry we weren't able to find him in time." he quietly told them all.

"Thank you" was heard in tandem from all of the team members. "Where's Gibbs" Fornell asked in concern.

"Dealing with things in his own way." Tony offered; knowing Fornell knew Gibbs enough to be able to find him if he really wanted to.

"Alone?" Fornell understood; but was still concerned.

"No, Agent Fornell; Mike Franks is most likely watching over him." Ducky established.

"Okay. Good." Fornell was relieved. It didn't matter how much Jethro drunk himself under; he still never escaped all of his pain; and Tobias knew this better than anyone; except Ducky; of course. The extra means Jethro would go to hurt himself in his efforts to escape what he knew he couldn't; would only result in him physically harming himself. Countless times; Jethro had stupidly attempted to convince himself that the brick walls of his basement would move out of his fists' way. Never had it solved anything. Tobias felt the sudden need to rally the troops; at least himself and Mike Franks; anyway; at Gibbs' house. After all, the more sensible people he had around him; the better his chances were of coming back from this in one piece.

As he made to leave the lab; Abby stopped him. "Fornell; you let him know that we are all here for him; every single one of us! Oh, and by the way; here's the latest on Tim's case. Maybe you're guys can catch these bastards, now?" Abby asked with hope.


	31. The Man Named Tim McGee

For two days; Tony, Ziva, and Abby forced themselves to trudge through their daily existance; including reporting to work. Even if there was no work being done; it was the staying on task; keeping one foot in front of the other and endlessly repeating the process that was getting them though this dark time; made even darker by the distinctive absence of their Team Leader; Leroy Jethro Gibbs. None of them felt good about his absence. They all knew that when Gibbs failed to come to work; he was dealing with more pain then he knew what to do with. This time; thankfully, he wasn't alone. For that; his team members were eternally grateful. It was no secret that Mike Franks and Tobias Fornell would be able to help Gibbs where none of them could even come close. Both men also considerately kept Tony informed that Gibbs was in fact okay. Another surprise the team was most grateful for.

On the third day after recieving the devasting video; Gibbs returned to work. But his presence was painful; as he spoke to no one; and steadfastly kept his eyes to his own desk; failing to look at anyone. Tony knew; however; that Bossman was; in fact; sneaking peeks at them; to make sure they were hanging in there. Needing to be the one to show Gibbs he didn't have to worry about them; Tony pulled Ziva and Abby together and rallied their support in his efforts. Together; they set about; during the course of the remainder of the day; to give Gibbs his space; and not give him cause for concern.

The attempt was heroic; but; unfortunately; only lasted until about 3 in the afternoon. Abby came upstairs from her lab; with grief written all over her face. "You guys. I found something, Timmy set up for me to find ..." her tears stopped her progress. "It's a file; with something he wrote to each one of us; individually; in it."

"Abby. I can't..." Tony painfully told her. "Just hold onto it."

As she looked around the room and saw everyone nodding their head in agreement with Tony's words; She caved. "Ok. I'm sorry."

"Abby"; Gibbs broke his day long silence; just long enough to say her name. As she rushed to his side; she gladly accepted his embrace; the one he'd been too far gone over the edge to give her the other day.

Jenny came down from her office; and quietly waited until her presence was noticed. "Director?" Tony asked for everyone's sake. He could see Gibbs was not willing to speak to anyone if he could help it; He was still battling his way back from his own abyss. It was a big enough step that he was here and had stayed here all day.

"Jethro, Just wanted you all to know that I've taken care of the arrangements for Tim's Memorial Service. I knew it wasn't something you wanted to have to deal with, Jethro." her sympathetic voice actually soothed his quaking nerves. "Thanks."

"It'll be tomorrow afternoon at 2. Anyone who wishes to speak on Tim's behalf; will be encouraged to do so." She stated quietly. "Here's the directions; the Agency Fleet will be available."

* * *

Tim's NCIS family was all he had left. They came to his Memorial Service in droves; to show their respects for the Agent who had done everything for everyone who had ever asked him for help. Even the FBI came to show their respects. Surprisingly; each team member had gone to Abby; requesting the letter Tim had written to them individually; before the service. When Tony took the first opportunity to speak on Tim's behalf; he walked up to the podium; tears shining in his eyes; pulled a letter out of his jacket pocket; unfolded it and said:

"Tim McGee will never be forgotten. There are many words that can describe him; But I think his last words to me: will speak to who he was; far better than I ever could. I haven't been able to bring myself to read them yet; so; please bear with me:"

**_Tony_**

_If you're reading this; I got caught. That means I let you down. I let the team down. I let NCIS down. I let Gibbs down. Words will never express how deeply sorry I am; that my last known act will have been; letting the people I cared most about; outside my immediate family; down in such a huge way._

_We; you and I; never had the chance; or rather we never took the time; to build a better relationship before this nightmare started. For that; I apologise._

_I based a charactor in my books on you; without your permission. I humbly apologise._

_For all the crap I gave you while you were initiating me into the fold. I didn't take it on the chin like I should have; I apologise.  
It took me a long time to accept that the bulk of it was your way of teaching and toughening me up._

_Word of advice? Try to remember that there is such a thing as too much. And believe it or not; some things are not funny. Okay, so that was two pieces. I guess I figured you were hungry._

_It goes without saying; but not wanting to leave anything 'undone' I'll say it anyway; Please, look after the family for me. I know you probably figure that I was always the slacker in that department to begin with; if you thought that; I'm sorry. I cared very deeply for each and every one of them; even Jimmy. I know that you know each one of them probably better than I did; so I won't insult you by trying to advise you what they each need. I know I can count on you to be there for them; and yes; I do realize it's a hell of a lot to ask of one person. _

_But, remember, Tony; you're not alone. You haven't been since you joined Gibbs' team. Let them in, Tony. Let them be there for you the way you're there for them; the way they've always wanted to be there for you; where it counts most. That's what family's all about, Tony. I'm sorry for the pain your biological family put you through. But, what I'm most sorry for; is not having the chance to build on our relationship. I am sorry; I didn't overcome my cowardice; attempt to scale the walls you've built around yourself. I failed you; as a fellow agent; as a friend; as a little brother._

_Take care of Gibbs; Tony PLEASE stay on him; push him to accept that this is not his fault! Don't let this cost more than my life We both know that man has suffered more than enough in one lifetime; don't let him lose himseelf in blame I guess Gibbs and I always did have that in common. Don't let him let go of the team, Tony. Please._

_Thank you for being the big brother I had never had._

_Goodbye:_

_Tim_

_P.S. Thank you for being a rock that I could lean on without hesitation; in my time of crisis. I know I never thanked you enough and I'm sorry._

_*****************_

As Tony folded his letter; blinded by tears; he could hear the entire church sniffling with him. _God, I'm gonna miss him!_ As he stumbled back to his seat; Gibbs was there to help him find his feet; squeeze his shoulder in silent support; and help him pull himself back together; as only Gibbs could; with encouragement in his silent; but serious eyes.

* * *

Ducky made his way up to the pulpit next; tears also already shining in his eyes. "Timothy was a very respectful young man; no matter how troubled he was; he rarely forgot his manners and when he did; he tripped all over himself to apologise. But; as Anthony has already stated; Timothy's final words to me; will speak better of his charactor than I ever could. I too; have not yet read the words he left for me.

**_Ducky:_**

_One of the greatest men I've ever known. Thank you for enriching my life._

_I beg your forgiveness for the countless times I was disrespectful to you or failed to show my appreciation of you; for all you do for all of us._

_You are a priceless gift Dr. Donald Mallard_

_A gift that is treasured beyond price by every one of us on this team; in this family._

_Thank you._

_Goodbye:_

_Timothy._

_P.S. Please, I beg you; don't let Gibbs accept the responsibilty or blame for this. Please let mine be the last life lost to this nightmare._

As tears filled his eyes and rolled down his face; Ducky stopped to wipe his eyes; looked out at Tim's team and told them: "Timothy loved each one of us as much as he did his own family. He treasured each of us. Let us make sure we continue to honor him by doing the same." As he made his way back to his seat; in the row behind Gibbs; he stopped for a second to apply his own supportive squeeze to both Gibbs and Tony's shoulders.

* * *

Abby approached the pulpit next; and although her heart was breaking; she valiantly held onto her tears. "I'm gonna cut to the chase. Tim and I dated before he came to Gibbs' team. Letting him go was the biggest mistake of my life. But, he didn't judge me for didn't even stay angry at me for it. He continued to be my best friend; my protector; my guardian angel; no matter what I did." Abby's voice broke. As she pulled out her letter from Tim; She told the people in attendence; "The same goes for my letter."

**_Abby:_**

_Sweetheart. You know you've had that special place in my heart since the first day we met._

_The biggest regret I've carried with me is that I wasn't who you needed me to be; to make us work._

_That didn't stop me from loving you; but then again; you knew that already._

_Here's hoping you understand how deeply sorry I am that I failed to protect you better from both Mawher and OTTO. And this isn't just the deep disappointment I had to live with from Gibbs talking; either. I let both of you down on those times; and I've never forgiven myself for them. I just hope you have._

_I have a favor to ask of you:_

_Please, help Jimmy find his place within the family of Gibbs' Team; as only you can. Let him see how much everyone cares about each other and is there for each other. Help him find the good in Gibbs so he'll stop being scared of him and start learning from him. Don't let him waste any more time. It's bad enough knowing I wasted two of my own years being in that position._

_Help everyone remember to always be there for each other; even when they feel the need to push everyone away._

_Please don't let anyone blame themselves; most especially, Gibbs. Don't let him blame himself; we all know that he will._

_I will always love you, Abby._

_Goodbye:_

_Tim_

_P.S. I am so deeply sorry that I didn't take better care of Jethro._

Abby was crying so hard; she couldn't see straight. With tears in his own eyes; Gibbs went to help her back to her seat; after he wrapped her in a silent hug; trying to calm her down. Abby silently nodded and pulled herself back together as they walked back to their seats.

* * *

Ziva stoically held onto her own tears as she walked stiffly up to the pulpit; determined to take part in extolling Tim's charactor. It was the least she could do; considering all he had done for her.

"Timothy McGee was very quick to accept me as a person and a friend. Even though he; at times; felt like I wask replacing someone on the team that was not replacable. He never spoke of it; but I could see it in his eyes. I too; believe that his life is best expressed through the words he left for us.

**_Ziva:_**

_Thank you for allowing me to be your friend; as well as your co-worker. Thank you for being mine._

_Please help Tony take care of the family and each other. Let them help take care of you. No. Don't say 'I don't need anyone to take care of me.' Ziva; that's what families do; they take care of each other; without being asked; without hesitation. If you let them in._

_Let them in, Ziva. Everyone on this team feels for the pain you've lived through; what parts of it you've allowed yourself to share with us. And everyone of us wished there was some way we could both take away that pain; and help you move past it; more than you claimed to have done._

_Watch over Tony. Look beyond the tough-guy exterior; see the lifetime of pain he's trying to keep hidden; but needing someone to show him it's okay to let it out. He needs someone to listen but not judge; encourage but not push. Help him, Ziva. Please._

_Help Abby, please. Help her to keep moving forward. She has so much to offer that someone special. Please don't let her be reckless. Remind her that she has people who love her and will listen; that she doesn't have to hide from anyone._

_Gibbs. Ziva, Gibbs will bury himself in anger and guilt if you guys don't stay on him and stay with him. He's a good man; the best; and he's gonna need the whole team to help him through the loss of another member of his team. I only say this because that's who Gibbs is. As Team Leader; he'll take on the blame; the guilt; don't let him run and hide himself away. The team needs him. And he needs the team_

_I beg you; Let mine be the last life they get to take._

_Look after Ducky for me. That man is a treasure and needs to feel more appreciated. Kate's death was very hard on him. I doubt he'll take mine too much easier._

_Ziva; you brightened my world and for that I thank you._

_If I gave you any grief when you first got here; I apologise._

_Please understand; Kate had only been gone from us for a short time; and I was still trying to get a grasp on Survivior's Guilt. After all; it should have been me that Ari killed that day; he missed me by less than an inch; before he shot Kate._

_Remember, Ziva; you're family._

_Thank you for being you._

_Goodbye:_

_Tim_

_Ziva's tears were shamelessly flowing as she returned to her seat; to be met with hugs from both Jenny and Abby._

* * *

Jimmy Palmer was next to approach the pulpit; and as he quietly began to speak; still in awe that Agent McGee had thought so much about him before they lost him; his voice barely managed to remain steady.

"I didn't know Agent McGee that well; but, we did have an occasional conversation; always respectful; insightful. Since I didn't know him well enough to say a whole lot more; I, too; will rely on his last words to me; to share with you; who he was:

Jimmy:

_You're a great person Jimmy; and I'm sorry I never took the time to get to know you even better._

_I don't think we've ever even spent any time away from work doing 'guy stuff'; getting to know each other better. Again, for that; I am truly sorry._

_Thank you for watching over Ducky for us all these years. Please continue to watch over him; and the rest of them, too. Also; continue to be the voice of reason in the crowd._

_Step up, Jimmy! Don't be content to always sit back and be left behind. Strap on the uniform and join the team! It took me two years to find my own confidence; and my own voice; around Gibbs. Time wasted. You've had twice that much time; stop wasting it. Stop being afraid of him and start learning from him._

_He's right up there with Ducky - the best of the best._

_You won't find anyone more protective; dedicated, loyal or honest; than those two. The rest of the team comes in right behind them._

_Go to bat for them; with them; and they'll be there for you - anytime you ask; and even when you can't. If they smell trouble; they'll be there for you._

_Don't give up on your dreams. Finish what you start. Don't lose faith in yourself._

_Goodbye:_

_Tim McGee_

* * *

Jenny knew that Gibbs would not speak at Tim's Memorial Service; most likely not; anyway. She also knew that she needed to; especially since ultimately the young man worked for her. As she made her way to the pulpit; she knew words would escape her. She'd seen too many sides of this young man; to be able to keep her words straight. She too; would rely on his last words to her. But, she wondered if he'd realized his words to his team would have such a public audience; when he'd written them. She doubted it. It didn't stop her from feeling proud for him; that his kindness and selflessness was being publically acknowledged. Without any fanfare or build up; Jenny took her letter out and read it:

**_Director Shepard:_**

_If you're reading this; I didn't make it through this nightmare. _

_Thank you for never completely giving up on me; even if it was only by the strength of Gibbs' trust and faith in me that you didn't_

_Thank you for letting his word speak for me; be good enough._

_I apologise for any and all problems I caused NCIS; although if any of it was in defense of my team members I stand firmly with them._

_In terms of how I dealt with my sister's situation; I seriously and deeply regret not asking Gibbs for help 1st. Other than that; I apologise for the shadow it cast over NCIS._

_Without a leg to stand on; I humbly ask you for a favor._

_Should the reason I am no longer here; be the result of something work related; or the culprits who took and murdered my dog and my family; please; please do not let Gibbs blame himself._

_I need for mine to be the last life they get to take. _

_Goodbye;_

_Former Special Agent Timothy McGee_

* * *

Gibbs knew two things. One; he had to go up and say something on his Agent's behalf. Two; there was no way he could bring himself to read whatever Tim's last words to him were. Somehow; he knew that wasn't what Tim would have wanted. As he made his way to the pulpit; he'd noticed there wasn't a dry eye in the building; hadn't been since Tony had read Tim's last words to him; really. Even as he walked; he struggled with what he would say; knew it had to honor the young man; and knew he only had this one shot at it. Solomnly, Gibbs opened his mouth and spoke what he felt.

"Tim McGee made an impression on me from the first day I ever met him. Since that day; over 4 years ago; Tim McGee never stopped making an impression on me; every day of his life. He will be sorely missed. He cannot ever be replaced."


	32. The Immortal Words of Tim McGee

Leroy Jethro Gibbs couldn't think straight. As he silently sat in his basement; left alone in his own overwhelming vault of thoughts; the words of his fallen Agent; written to his teammates as his last farewell; on his behalf; resounded in his mind.

* * *

_If you're reading this; I got caught. That means I let you down. I let the team down. I let NCIS down. I let Gibbs down. Words will never express how deeply sorry I am; that my last known act will have been; letting the people I cared most about; outside my immediate family; down in such a huge way_

_! It took me two years to find my own confidence; and my own voice; around Gibbs. Time wasted._

_He's right up there with Ducky - the best of the best. __You won't find anyone more protective; dedicated, loyal or honest; than those two. The rest of the team comes in right behind them. _

_Here's hoping you understand how deeply sorry I am that I failed to protect you better from both Mawher and OTTO. And this isn't just the deep disappointment I had to live with from Gibbs talking; either. I let you both down on those times; and I've never forgiven myself for them. I just hope you have._

_Help everyone remember to always be there for each other; even when they feel the need to push everyone away._

_I am so deeply sorry that I didn't take better care of Jethro._

_Thank you for never completely giving up on me; even if it was only by the strength of Gibbs' trust and faith in me that you didn't_

_Thank you for letting his word speak for me; be good enough._

_I seriously and deeply regret not asking Gibbs for help 1st_

* * *

Gibbs felt the tears fill his eyes as he soaked up the depth of character Tim McGee had possessed; and not been appreciated for. The young man's countless pleas to his teammates to take care of their Team Leader; left Gibbs dumbfounded. As each one of Tim's pleas replayed themselves in Gibbs' mind; he found it hard to breathe.

* * *

_Take care of Gibbs; Tony PLEASE stay on him; push him to accept that this is not his fault!_

_Gibbs. Ziva, Gibbs will bury himself in anger and guilt if you guys don't stay on him and stay with him. He's a good man; the best; and he's gonna need the whole team to help him through the loss of another member of his team. I only say this because that's who Gibbs is. As Team Leader; he'll take on the blame; the guilt; don't let him run and hide himself away. The team needs him. And he needs the team_

_Please don't let anyone blame themselves; most especially, Gibbs. Don't let him blame himself; we all know that he will.  
__Please, I beg you; don't let Gibbs accept the responsibility or blame for this.  
__please; please do not let Gibbs blame himself_

* * *

As much as those pleas almost broke his heart; it was the repeated pleas for no one else to be lost to this; that threatened to break Gibbs' hold on his control:

_Don't let this cost more than my life  
__I beg you; Let mine be the last life they get to take  
__Please let mine be the last life lost to this nightmare.  
I need for mine to be the last life they get to take._

* * *

Forcing himself to stop thinking long enough to take a deep breath and let it out slowly; as he sat on the floor of his basement, once again; letting the wall hold him up; he reached into his pocket and took Tim's letter out of his pocket and unfolded it; as he softly spoke to his fallen agent; with tears in his eyes. "I am so very sorry, Tim."

**_

* * *

_**

Boss:

_If you're reading this; than my worst fear came true and for the second time in in the last several months; I will have wished I was wrong. Somehow; somewhere I have screwed up; again. It's the only way this would have happened._

_IT WAS NOT YOUR FAULT!!!!!!!!_

_First off; there are a lot of things I've always wanted to say to you; but it never seemed to be the right time. I guess; there's no time like now; huh? Boss; you've done so much for me over the years; I need for you to understand just how much you are appreciated ; how much gratitude I have for you; for all of it._

_It's all too important; I couldn't lump into something short and abrupt._

_Please be patient and read through it all before you get upset and throw this away. It would mean a lot to me._

_*************_

_We all know how you feel about apologies; nonetheless; you've accepted a whole lot of them from me lately. Please be patient and accept one from me; this one last time:_

_For every time I disappointed you; both out in the field and in the office; and even outside of work_

_For every time I made your life difficult_

_For every time I frustrated you_

_For every time I accidentally said something that caused you personal pain_

**_For Pacci_**_ - It took me too long to find the file he asked me to dig up for him; if I'd found it sooner; he would probably still be here._

**_For Benedict_**_ - . You were so disappointed in me. I almost got you killed. it took me so long to get over the worst of it; that it took me so long to get back in the game._

**_For Paula_**_ - I can't tell you how much I regret not verifying those names of attendees faster; with more dedication. If I had; she'd still be here._

**_For Kate_**_ - There were so many times I wished Ari hadn't missed with his first shot. She'd still be here if he hadn't. _

**_For Erin_**_ - you trusted me and I let you down. I let her down and it cost her; her life. I've never forgotten it. Y_

**_For Sarah_**_ - I've always regretted not going to you first; ever since you asked me why I didn't. For the lie I gave instead of talking to you straight; that has eaten at me for a long time. It scared me; the thought of losing your trust._

**_For Abby_**_: the times I messed up and didn't do the best job possible in protecting her; lost your trust and respect. I knew this when you stopped asking me to be the one to do it._

_For no longer being able to be counted among those who would take one for the team._

_For the countless times I wanted to reach out and let you know I'm a good listener; that I knew you were hurting and wanted to be there for you; but didn't have what it took to get there. I know we talked about this already; I loved and respected you as much; maybe even a little more than I did my father. The only difference was; with you; I didn't have the rank; relationship or right to scale those walls of yours; no matter how badly I wanted to; to let you know you didn't have to suffer in silence; or carry the weight all by yourself._

_I am so deeply sorry for each and every situation_.

* * *

_For everything you've done and said and put up with in the last few months; holding me up; not giving up on me; standing with me even though you were disappointed in me. Thank you._

_For helping me through losing Kate from our team; even while trying to cope yourself. You made the difference for me; when I needed it the most. Don't think I've ever thanked you for that. "Thank you." _

_For calling me off the guy who killed Erin; for not letting me do anything stupid. Don't think I ever thanked you for that, either Thank you. _

_For standing beside me through the mess with Sarah. You saw it through. You made sure the truth was revealed; and you pulled me up when I stumbled through that one. Accepting my apology when it was offered; and forgiving my dishonesty and bad judgement._

_You were my mentor; my rock; my voice of reason; my adopted father_

_THANK YOU_

_It's not near enough; but it's all I have to give; and I give it from the bottom of my heart._

_I know; we all know; that you do not do "personal or emotional or sappy or touchy-feely; and we all try very hard to respect that about you and not ask that from you. Yet somehow; you did "do" all that for me through this long-winded nightmare; over and over again; letting me find the strength to go on; every single day; through the rock that is you._

_I can not begin to tell you how much it meant to me; kept me going; the fact that you did not even think to ask someone else to be my rock during this horrible time. You accepted that role without complaint. I am so thankful to have been able to rest in the knowledge that I was important enough to you; that you would do that. You showed me that it was okay to trust in your backup when you knew I was beginning to act on the fear that I was asking too much of you._

_Thank you for giving me the okay to cry; the shoulder to do it on; the arms to lean on in through my tears; the support to pick me when I fell; and the space to find my feet again. Hell, Boss; you even gave me carte blanche to yell and scream; at you; no less! You already know how I feel about that._

_I. Could. Not. Have. Gotten. Through. This. Without. You._

_Letting me stay with you from day one of this nightmare and all the way through it; saved me from myself; especially after my family was killed. But, then again; I'm sure you knew that already._

_How do you thank someone for all that?_

_Words don't even come close._

_Thank you._

_Good Bye:_

_Tim.  
_

_

* * *

_

Gibbs laid his head back and let the tears flow.


	33. Finding the Strength to Go On

Thank God they'd been given the rest of the week off; giving them all the chance to catch their breaths and try to recuperate a little from the overwhelming emotions they'd been washed with at Tim's Memorial Service. They all had a lot of things to work through; things that should have been said to the young man; things that never should have been said to him; regrets; the works. They'd come in on the weekend before the Service; Monday afternoon; and they were all exhausted on top of everything else.

None of them were excited to see this cold November Monday morning roll around; but after surprisingly solitary weekends for all of them; spent trying to get their emotions under control; knowing they needed to be able to keep going; they were relieved to see each other back in the fold.

When he got to work that morning; the first thing Tony noticed was a beautiful hand carved photo frame standing upright on Tim's desk. Upon closer inspection of it; he can't help but appreciate the wonderful work that has been enclosed in this frame. It was a sketch of Tim done when he'd first joined the team. Although he recognized the style of the sketch; he was confused about where it came from and couldn't help but ask. Gibbs was busy; his head stuck in a file; when Tony braved the question

"Boss?"

"Hmm?" Gibbs has made it to work; but was subdued; reflectful and not at all himself.

"The sketch; where'd it come from?" Tony asked quietly.

"Signature's in the bottom corner" was Gibbs' quietly cryptic answer.

_"Kate!_ Oh, wow! And _you_ made the frame. Nice work, Boss." Tony's voice was full of respect and appreciation for not only the hard work that went into it; but the kindness that went into the gesture of sharing it with the rest of them.

"Thanks, Tony." Gibbs gave back, finally looking up at his Senior Field Agent; checking him over to make sure he's okay. Scrutinizing him carefully; knowing Tony well; he looked where it mattered most; in his eyes; in his posture. All seemed well. But Gibbs knew better. The young man may have managed to put it all away over the weekend; but it was all still there. "You okay?"

"Yeah, Boss. It's tough, but I'm okay. You?"

"Same here, Tony,"

"Is this her original work, Boss?" Tony was still interested in the sketch.

"No, I made a copy. The original is still in her sketchbook where she left it." Gibbs said quietly. Talking about her like this was still painful; especially on the tail end of losing Tim.

Forcing himself to move on; he opened his desk drawer and took out another frame. "Here you go, Tony. She did one on each of you and I decided you should have a copy of it."

Gibbs had decided much more than that. He'd decided he wasn't gonna wait until it was too late to share her work with each of them; the way he had waited too long with Tim. Hearing Tim's words of pain; addressed to Ziva; regarding Kate's death; and how he had continued to feel that pain had triggered something in Gibbs. He'd never realized just how badly being almost killed that day had affected Tim. Or worse; how not being the one to die that day had stayed with the young man; survivors' guilt he'd worn like an undershirt; close to his heart; never letting anyone see it.

"Wow. Thanks, Boss! She did this? Oh, man!" Tony's eyes lit up the room and Gibbs felt a smile ghost over his own face at the young man's moment of joy. "Did you give Abby hers? Ducky?" Tony was eager to see.

"Not yet."

"Can you do it up here?" Tony's anticipation was contagious.

"Sure, why not. Go ahead, call them up here. But, be kind. She didn't do one on Jimmy." Gibbs warned.

"Do I get to do the warm up; as Abby calls it?"

"Sure, knock yourself out." Gibbs had no desire to take the young man's fun away from him. They'd been through too much.

Ten long minutes later; Abby and Ducky were finally in the squad room; both looking only slightly more rested and less haunted then they had on Friday. After taking a good look at both of them, Gibbs could only send up a silent prayer for help in getting his team through this in one piece. As his eyes, out of habit, wandered over to his fallen agent's desk; and the sketch he'd set there; he felt tears prick at the back of his throat. _God, why did it have to end like this? _

From a distance he heard his name being called; and as he came back to the here and now; all three of them were looking at him in concern. "What?" he asked quietly; having no desire to raise his voice.

"We were just admiring your beautiful frame, Gibbs" Abby said quietly; knowing exactly where his mind had been. She'd seen where his eyes had gone to. "It was really nice of you to do that for him" Her own eyes were still locked on Tim's desk.

"I did it for both of em. I should've done it sooner." Gibbs admitted in that same quiet tone.

"Aren't you always the one telling us that there's no 'should have's ' when it come to grieving, Gibbs?" Abby asked carefully.

"Not this time, Abbs. Tony, you ready?" Gibbs asked deliberately changing the subject.

"Yeah, Boss. You can do your thing now. Thanks." Tony gave in; knowing the bossman needed to get this over with; it was getting too painful. Tony could see it in the man's eyes.

"Abby, Ducky, Kate sketched each of us and I've decided to give you all the one she did of you; well a copy anyway. I'm sorry but I don't want to tear the originals out of her sketchbook."

As he handed Abby and Ducky their framed sketches; both of them were overjoyed to be holding Kate's work in their hands. Work she had poured her heart and soul into; showing what she thought of them. Both of them had tears in their eyes.

"Thank you, Gibbs!" Abby exclaimed as she threw her arms around him and hugged him tight. "Thank you so much." she whispered.

"Jethro! Thank you. I shall treasure this. I shall keep it right next to Timothy's letter to me." Ducky vowed reverently.

"Seeing your reactions; makes me sorry I never gave them to you before. Especially, McGee's." Gibbs voice broke and he abruptly left for more coffee.

* * *

The team had been grateful for both Franks and Fornell's help through it all. Most of the team members had watched Gibbs suffer thru Kate's death; they were pretty damn sure; the man wouldn't survive losing another agent; and definitely not in this painful way. They knew that having not been able to find Tim; having to watch him be tortured and physically harmed; knowing that his boy's mind and heart were being ripped to shreds; had nearly done Gibbs in.

They also knew that helping keep Gibbs together; helped the team concentrate more on Ducky; who was just as deeply affected and seemingly alone in his misery and pain. Both Fornell and Franks had silently stood by Gibbs; and his team through it all; even to the service at the cemetery. They had both offered each team member solace and the comfort of their quiet but solid presence; knowing this was a close knit team.

Frankly; men had been surprised Team Gibbs was still functioning. Thankfully, that director of theirs had confined them to cold cases; not even giving them leave to run down their own leads. She'd pulled in other agents for that.

The only thing that was not a surprise was the pain Tim McGee's team felt ripping them apart. His captors had been especially cruel and sadistic to the team directly; in their last words on the tape to NCIS. Their words would forever haunt his team mates.

_"Well, NCIS' looks like I won! I kept my word; you didn't get him back. Oh, and don't worry; we've buried him nice and proper for you. So, there will be no need for you to have a funeral for him. It's been fun; but, I think it's time we said our goodbyes. Don't you?"_

Mike Franks had finally gone home. It was Monday afternoon; a week after Tim's Service and without Franks here, it seemed as if the atmosphere in the squad room had returned to the despairing grieving stifling feeling it had had before he'd come. As the day dragged on; so did the less than positive feel in the room. All evidence and reports in Tim's case had been brought up to date and all that needed to be done was the report on the FBI's case when they caught Wilkerson and her sidekick killer.

For the next five weeks, they continued to fight to pull themselves back from their grief as they sludged their way through cold case after cold case. They spent most nights paired up in an effort to help each other through it all. Everyone made extra efforts to keep a check on Gibbs at night and on the weekends. The only thing that kept him from going off on them about it; was the litany of Tim's pleas that still rang in his head. For Tim; he cooperated. For Tim; he kept his head in the game. And for all of them; he made sure the team pulled themselves back together; one small step at a time. It was an incredibly slow journey; each of them too battle scarred and beaten down; having lost their little brother; to be able to find much determination to go on. But, for Tim; they did. Continuing to put one foot in front of the other; again and again; over and over; they wearied on.


	34. Christmas is Different This Year

To say that the team was frayed at the edges now and they were once again; floundering their way through each and every day; was an understatement of gigantic proportions. Thankfully, Jenny had seen that they remained off balance; and needed more time to regroup. Having mourned Agent McGee's death along with the rest of the Agency; she kept to the decision she'd already made. In an unusual move; she didn't rush progress.

She had pulled them off the active case roster when Tim had disappeared; assigning them to cold cases; until further notice. Jenny knew that to force them to move on before they were ready; was to spark mutiny and she wasn't prepared for that. She'd been there and done that before; she wasn't about to do it again. And while she didn't feel what they were going thru; she did feel for them going thru it. The hole Tim McGee's death had left in this team; was huge; raw and painfully obvious for all to see.

Karen Wilkerson and her partner in crime; Tim's killer, Wilson; having fled the states for Canada; went down fighting. This didn't help the team feel any better. In fact; it only feuled thier grief. Now, they'd be denied justice or answers and they badly needed both.

The team was tired of working cold cases; but unwilling to go be forced to focus on fresh cases; unable to find the cohesiveness they had shared before Tim had been taken from them. No one had stopped grieving for him. Each seemed lost in the depth of the black whole they felt as they learned to do what he'd done for them in his sleep; as they changed the way they talked to each other; remembering how he would have said it . Regret and grief were daily thorns in their sides. Every time they happened to look over at his nearly enshrined desk or his computer; that thorn twisted inside. The fact that it was edging closer to Christmas; a Christmas without Tim; left everyone feeling blue.

**

* * *

**

It had been 8 weeks since Tim McGee had been snatched from the bosom and protection of NCIS. Fifty-six days had passed since NCIS had begun receiving the emailed footage of his horrific ordeal; spanning the course of ten days; culminating with his painfully tragic death. 46 days ago; Special Agent Timothy McGee had died at the hands of his sadistic kidnappers.

It seemed like heavy burdens weighed down each of his team mates equally; all of them realizing too late; what a treasure they'd had in their midst's. Not a day went by that someone among them didn't have to wipe away a tear; or pull their eyes away from his tragically empty desk; or his painfully silent computer keyboard. The days of chatter or conversation; were as long gone as the sound of him typing away at warp speed; digging up the answers they needed. They were as long gone as the sight of their beloved Computer Geek himself; sitting behind that desk; was. There hadn't been a smile; a laugh or even a joke in the squad room in a very long time Not one of them were in a good mood when Gibbs' cell phone rang around 9 that morning.

"Yeah. Gibbs." Gibbs voice didn't hold any life.

"_Hello, Probie."_

"Mike. Gibbs voice never raised above quiet. "How are you?" Gibbs voice broke and he stopped . Hearing that name; for so long attached to Tim; hurt like a fresh stab wound. Drawing in a deep breath; he slowly let it out; forcing himself to calm down.

_"We need to talk, Probie." _

"About, what, Mike?" Gibbs asked with more manners than he had the heart to worry about. It had only been a couple of weeks since the man had gone home; but it felt like a lifetime; to him.

"_You."_

"Mike, just spit it out; will ya?" Gibbs got up from his desk; taking his conversation to the privacy of the elevator; stopping it between floors; something he hadn't done since Tim had been taken from them.

"_You need to take a couple of days off and come down here; lose yourself in the peace and quiet." _

"Mike. I'll think about it. Thanks. I'll call you later when I decide.

_"Don't think about it, Jethro; just do it!"_ the call was terminated.

Gibbs put the conversation out of his mind and went back to work.

A short thirty minutes later; Jen called him up to her office.

"Jen?"

"Jethro, I understand you've been invited to take a couple days off!"

"Damn, Mike called you?"

"Yes, Jethro, he's concerned about you. I agree with him. With one major difference.

"And what's that, Jen?" Gibbs tone was too tired to be angry.

"Take your team with you. All of you need to get away from here. You've certainly all earned it. Abby, Ducky and Palmer, too. I'll get substitute help in here for a week. The chartered plane leaves in 3 hours." Jen's tone booked no argument; and apparently the deal was done.

"Does HE know you've set this up; that he's about to be host to the entire team?"

"Yes, Jethro; he's okay with it; provided they don't mind sleeping out on the beach. The weather's nice down there right now; it shouldn't be a problem."

Although Gibbs hated to be manipulated like this; time off did sound like a good idea at the moment. Especially, since it was only for a week.

Returning to the squad room, Gibbs called Ducky and Abby; told them all to pack up for the day; including Palmer; and get up to the squad room, STAT. And since Gibbs never used that word; they hustled and did as he ordered. In a mere 10 minutes; he had everyone's undivided attention.

"We've been given the next week off; together; for a short trip; to Mexico; at Mike Franks' invitation. Maybe it's his Christmas present to us all. You'll be sleeping on the beach; in tents. Plane leaves in 2.5 hours. Be back here; packed and ready to go in 2 hours." Gibbs quietly informed them all.

While they were all happy for the time off and the chance to go to Mexico; the fact that Tim's empty desk was staring them all in the face; kept them grounded to the reason they all needed to get away in the first place. Quietly, they all packed up for the day and headed out to go pack for their trip; leaving Gibbs alone in the squad room.

Usually, this didn't bother him; but right now; it sent fresh waves of pain and anger over the loss of such a treasured soul; washing through him all over again. _Tim; I'm so sorry, son! _Gibbs silently cried; hoping the young man was listening up above and accepting it. As he fought to keep the tears away; looking at Tim's desk; Jenny softly put an understanding hand on his arm; silently sharing in his grief. Nodding his head in silent thanks for her understanding; he picked up his coffee cup and went in search of a refill; and the space to breathe.

A short two hours later had the squad room once again filled with Agents and team members; all of them still somberly quiet. Checking his watch; as they all turned to head out; Gibbs walked over to Tim's desk and unlocked the drawer he had secured his missing agent's recovered identification and wallet in.

Looking at Tim's weapon; taking a silent reflective moment to look into the eyes of his agent; wiping his finger across the photo; Gibbs sent up yet another heartfelt apology to his lost agent; whose absence was continuing to eat a hole through all of their hearts. The team watched with tears in their eyes; as Gibbs respectfully locked Tim's badge and service weapon in his own desk for him; pocketing his id. for safekeeping. The significance of what they had just seen caught everyone in their heart. They had known Gibbs had been deeply affected by what had happened to McGee.

When Tim died; Gibbs had been so angry and bereft; he'd gone silent. He hadn't come to work for two days. The only way they knew he was okay was because Mike Franks and Tobias Fornell had also kept the team apprised of their leader's status. They knew he was their glue; and that even though the glue was going through hell at the moment; he was still vital and being worried about.

Gibbs and company hustled to the plane they were being flown in; surprisingly enough; a jet stream; and this time, everyone was able to relax and breathe. They buckled in for the ride; and sat back; loosing themselves in their own thoughts; the peace they hoped they'd find; the never ending sorrow they hoped they could find a way to lessen its' hold on them; things they needed to be able to get past; no one speaking a word.

The team landed without fanfare and immediately attempted to flag down a couple of cabs; but were hailed by a limo driver; shockingly enough. As they allowed the pleasantness of the impending ride soak into their brains; they threw their gear in the trunk and hopped in quietly; letting Gibbs give the directions; as they sat back and waited; on pins and needles,

Their arrival at Mike Frank's house on the secluded stretch of beautiful beachfront took their breaths away. The man had made plenty of preparations for them. The humongous tent; cabin type; was tied down well and there was equipment galore for their use and enjoyment. Everything from cookware to fishing gear; snorkel gear to sleeping supplies. Mike had gone all out. It brought smiles to their faces and wiped away their concerns about sleeping on the beach.

As they finished emptying their bags from the limo; Mike came out of his house and greeted them all. "Hey. How was the trip?"

"Good" came umpteen voices in unison.

"Good! I know you all have been through hell lately; so when I say this; I mean it in a good way; all right?" Mike stated earnestly.

"I'm glad you're here. This is gonna be a memorable Christmas for all of you, I promise you."


End file.
